It’s a learning curve for any relationship when a child comes along. No matter how much one can prepare herself or the people around her, she will learn as she goes. Sometimes having a child is not what she imagined or planned on it being like, but of course, she needs to figure things out and figure them out fast before she loses her husband.
There are a couple interesting reason why a new mom will drive her husband away, and there are definitely ways to prevent this from happening. Although, if she doesn’t know what is causing the problem, she will never know how to solve it and the love for one another could be on the line. She probably didn’t realize all those nights she spent surfing the web could be slowly pushing him away, or those days she woke up and didn’t find time to look after herself. Let’s find out exactly what could be causing the man to opt out of the marriage and of course trust issues are usually a big one. When the man is out and the woman is at home looking after the kids every night, that could get stressful and her mind could wander to places it shouldn't.
15 The Closeness Going Out The Window
Sometimes things get hard, and adapting to looking after a newborn baby is tough. Things, of course, are going to change your life and that is inevitable. A good husband will understand that you need to take care of the baby before him. Although, some things do not have to change and one of those being the love and intimacy you share with one another. As hard as it is to multi-task between the baby and the man, it still needs to happen in order to maintain a good relationship.
A good husband should be there to help you out with tasks that need to be done when you are looking after the baby. This will then make it easier on the both of you and will make more time for the two of you to spend together.
It is very hard for one person to raise a child, but with the help of their partner and family- no relationship should be put to test. Having a good schedule and making sure you set aside a day every so often to focus on each other is very important. When you are raising a child it is very easy to get caught up in everything and forget about the guy that helped you make the child. Schedule your time and there will be time for everyone… that also applies to his schedule too!
14 Keeping Him Away From His Friends
Just because a person has a baby doesn’t mean the rest of their life should be put on hold, and this includes ignoring their friends and family. Men, in general, need their own space and sometimes need that night to go out with their friends. The same applies to women and especially new mothers. It’s important that each parent puts in the effort for their child and relationship but it’s just as important to go out and take a break. Some men get overwhelmed and need a night out every so often.
If the wife is controlling and will not let the husband go out and spend time with his friends, this could result in him doing it behind her back or even ending the relationship and be doing it then.
Again, communication and trust are key. If there is something going on at home and you need him there for some reason, it’s understandable and you need to communicate that with him. Maybe suggest going out with his friends the day before or after if that specific day is inconvenient. It’s the small things that people don’t realize could make a difference in their relationships, and with a little communication, it could change something bad into something better.
13 Being On Different Pages
Not everyone is on the same page in life, and most couples get sidetracked with their careers and other things that happen.
Sometimes the wife feels a certain way and does certain things that the husband does not agree with and the same applies to the wife. It is very easy to get off track and be on different pages, but that is not a good way to build and maintain a relationship and marriage.
Communication again is very important to check in and make sure each person understands what is happening in each other life so the pages are the same. Moving forward on the same page is a lot easier than falling behind and catching up. In terms of being on different pages, it happens and especially when there is a newborn involved. If you find yourself questioning the relationship, you’re fighting all the time, you see that person is on social media all the time or you’re physically parting ways- it’s time to stop and talk about it. Explain to each other what is going on and why you feel the way you do. Maybe counseling is what needs to happen in order to restore the marriage and get back on the same page.
12 Spending Way Too Much Money on Your Kids
With all the exciting new baby items and toys for children, it is so hard for people, even people without kids, too not buy these toys. However, spending all the money making sure their kid has the latest and greatest toys that are on the market, could subsidize the relationship with the husband.
Remember, kids, do not need everything they want, and should not get everything they want. This, in fact, could turn them into being spoiled brats when they get older.
Not only that but if they cannot afford to be spending this money it is going to interfere with other necessities that the family needs. A lot of relationships fail because of financial problems, it’s sad to say it but it is the truth. Not to mention when a mother feels the need to go behind their fathers back and buy even more stuff than one needs- this will create even more problems.
Always create a list of necessities and wants and see if you can afford to buy those toys or new items for your child. Sit with your husband and see if he agrees with the way the money is spent and that will erase any problems that could arise when you get home from the store!
11 Shopping Until You Can’t Shop Any Longer
Some wives shop because they are filling a void and some shop because they have an addiction. Some shop because they need their necessities and because it’s a trip out of the house. Although if the wife is constantly coming home with bags and bags of stuff that she doesn’t need or can’t afford then this is where the problem arises.
Again with the financial issues, if she is spending so much money on shopping and not on necessities this will drive the husband out of the house- then you will be left with is a bunch of unnecessary things and your baby.
Keep track of the things you need and want and the money you can use to buy these items. This will help you keep track of your expenses and instead of using that money each day on buying stuff you don’t need- save it for a rainy day or a fun trip for the family. Nowadays it is very easy to get depressed and go to the store to buy a nice new outfit. A lot of ladies do this and it is common in many relationships. If you feel like you are doing this to make yourself happy- then reevaluate your relationship and speak with the husband as to why you are doing this and how you can change.
10 Not Taking Care Of Yourself
A baby is involved but that doesn’t mean the health of the mother or wife should diminish… You are still the same person and you should follow the same health regimens in order to maintain a healthy body and life, just as you did before you had a baby.
Of course, everyone has those days where they don’t feel as lovely as they did before, but if this day seems to be happening every single day since you gave birth- that could be a problem! It is essential that each parent take a turn waking up throughout the night with the child.
If the mother is doing it every single day, of course, their health could be on the line. When someone does not get enough sleep, it affects him or her in more ways than just being tired throughout the day. It is also important that the parents keep up with a healthy lifestyle and eat nutritious food. It is very easy to get sidetracked when you are so busy raising a child, but it’s also easy to start eating quick and unhealthy meals and it playing a toll on your overall health. Being organized is important in staying healthy.
9 Making Him Do 101 Things Every Day
The easiest way to push him away is to keep him busy all the time, and never allowing him to do the things he wants because your list of tasks never ends. Why do you think the husband didn’t come home till later on in the evening? Maybe because he has caught on to the way you are and knows that if he comes home he will not be able to relax or maybe he is tired of constantly doing everything you say and he is out looking for someone a little more relaxed. Don’t put the relationship to test in that manner because it could push the husband away.
Put yourself in his shoes and think of how exhausting he might be from working hard to support his family if that is the case. Sometimes he will need a break too and will want to spend his time with his baby instead of doing household chores every day.
You can also surprise him and go above and beyond a couple days throughout the week so when he comes home he can relax. Men like these types of surprises more than a woman knows. If you notice a trend where the husband is spending later and later evenings at work, it’s time to sit down and discuss the problem before it gets worse.
8 The Husband Is No Longer A Priority
This is one thing most husbands fear when they have kids. All the attention will no longer be on them and they will have more responsibilities than they had before. This is part of growing up and something that takes time to set in. Although, with good prioritizing, the husband should not fear anything and they should be excited about creating a child and watching them grow with their better half.
If the wife is ignoring the husband and not showing him any love and affection, this could be why the husband is slowly pulling away.
Make sure that you take time away from your busy life and focus and grow your marriage with your loved one. At the end of the day, you both need each other and he will be a shoulder to lean on during any tough times you will go through. It’s also important to remember that children grow up and move out and where will you be if the husband leaves? How lonely will it be then, and how much will you wish you put into that relationship at the time… Treat the relationship the way you want it to go down the road and don’t ruin it before it gets there.
7 Micromanaging Your Husband On The Little Things
It’s going to happen in every relationship and that is normal. Whether it is the wife or the husband telling one another what they need to do or if they have done something wrong. Although, this should not happen with everything he does.
If the wife is constantly criticizing her husband and nitpicking everything he does, he will eventually get tired and lose interest. The same can apply to the husband micromanaging the wife.
It’s a two-way street. It’s important to remember that no one is perfect and it is a learning process for both the wife and husband when they have a baby. It’s easy to get upset and frustrated when something doesn’t go your way but it’s important to remember that everyone is human and people make mistakes.
Do not set up a to-do-list every single day with a bunch of tasks he needs to do. This is not sincere and he will not be happy to return home after work every day to constantly be put to work again. He should be excited to come home and see his wife and baby after work and whatever he needs to do at the end of the day he should do it willingly.
6 Always Cleaning The House 24/7
There comes a point in time when the house has met it’s maximum cleanliness and fixing the cushions and sweeping the floor is pointless to do every second of every day even though you want him to or you want to do it yourself. It’s a good sign when the wife wants to keep a clean house but she has to know when enough is enough. Being clean is important and it is especially important when you have a baby. Babies can pick up germs left, right and center and be keeping the area they are in clean is crucial for their health.
Also spending time constantly cleaning when she could be snuggled up with her husband goes to show where her priorities are and it doesn’t look good or make him feel good if that’s happening every day.
If he thinks you are cleaning too much, he has a voice and he should say something. It is up to her and her relationship to listen if that is what’s on the line. Again, communication is key! These are minor issues that can be brought up in conversation and worked out before the husband feels the need to leave. Relationships end way to easy these days because it’s a common thing. Love is not always easy and it is meant to be put to the test and overcome obstacles that get in the way but come out stronger as a team.
5 Over Possessive Of The Children
Being over-possessive of your children is a good and bad trait to have. Of course, your child will grow up with a strong motherly love and appreciation but the partner, on the other hand, might get fed up with never leaving the child’s side. The child in the future might repel if their parents are being too possessive.
Parenthood is a two-way street. If a Mother or father is getting jealous of the relationship between their child and themselves, they need to talk about it. Each parent should have equal time with their child and keep things fair.
Just like each parent should have equal responsibility. Sometimes a mother needs to take a break away from their children for a night out and restore some time away that they’ve had from their partner. I am sure their grandparents would love to look after their grandchild too! It’s a win-win for everyone.
It’s hard for a new mother to spend time away from their children, but it’s important that they give their children space to live and learn on their own too! It’s also crucial for their marriage that this takes place and that there is time to continue building their marriage up instead of demolishing it slowly.
4 The Trust Is Gone
We all know without trust there is no point in remaining in a relationship. Life is built on trust and we need to trust one another in order to make it work. If he has broken your trust that is another story, and it is very hard to get back the trust after it has been destructed. If he has not given you a reason to betray his trust then you should trust him with your life. Once the trust is gone on either side, people feel and act in a different way- it’s normal. How do you think you can regain that trust?
You need to access the relationship and the situation where the trust was broken. Think if the relationship is worth salvaging. You should express your feelings and how broken you feel and keep high alert for continued deception.
Come to an agreement how you can restore this trust and maybe moving away and starting fresh in a new place could help. Whatever plan you both come up with, make sure you are on the same page and that the trust will not be betrayed again. Also, you need to forgive yourself. If you hold this forever, you will never forget about it and get past it. If you know you will never get past this hurdle then there is no point in reconstructing the relationship, to begin with.
3 Spending Too Much Time Using Technology
This never used to be a thing 20 years ago, but more often you are seeing broken marriages because one of the spouses is spending too much time on the Internet.
The Internet can be a good and bad thing for relationships. Depending on the person in the relationship and how faithful they are to you this should not impact it whatsoever.
If you notice a trend where the husband is spending more and more time on the Internet or vice versa, this is something you should look into and talk about.
There is a lot of information on the Internet and also a lot of online dating websites that you need to factor out. You never know he could be researching how to better the relationship or he could be doing his work on the Internet so it’s never good to assume anything until you know for sure. If spending too much time on the Internet is slowly pushing your partner away, you know what you have to do. You need to not spend as much time focusing your energy in front of the screen and more on the partner. This could be too late if your husband is already pushed away, but noticing the problem and fixing it right away could bring him back.
2 Not Forgiving For Little Mistakes
People hold grudges for days, years and even a lifetime. How are you to be in a happy relationship if you don’t speak with the husband for days because he did a small mistake? At the end of the day, everyone makes mistakes and the wife should not hold him accountable for that mistake for the rest of his life.
When people hold grudges, other things build up in the relationship and it creates a hostile environment for everyone involved- especially if there is a child involved.
It’s important to remember that a child is a product of their environment. Therefore if their parents are constantly fighting, they will grow up to think that is normal and their relationship could turn out the same.
It’s easiest to forgive when someone makes a mistake but make sure they know what they did was wrong. Don’t set your partner up for failure! You are a team and you need to work together to make things possible. If the person is constantly making mistakes after mistakes, maybe it is better to hire someone to do that task or do it yourself. If not, speak about the way that problem could have been fixed so they know how to figure it out on their own next time.
1 Putting Your Parents In The Middle Of The Relationship
The husband is at work and you are feeling very overwhelmed with all the responsibilities you have with the newborn baby. Your mother sees you struggling and comes over to help. When the husband gets home, the mother is there helping out with the work because she knows the feeling of raising a child and how tough it can be. This can create problems if it is happening too frequently and the parents are always there. This does not apply to every relationship, and a lot of times the husband is thankful for their time and effort in helping their wife out.
Although there are situations where the husband will get defensive and think that they are taking over the role of parenting and not letting the husband and wife do it on their own. If this is the case in a relationship you know, this could, in fact, be pushing the husband away. You hear many stories where husbands and wives break up because of the parents impacting their relationship.
Make sure it is fair amongst the mom and dad and you are asking permission to both sides whether or not it is a good idea if the parents come over and help. The more you communicate with each other the better the relationship will be.