Any man can become a father, but how many men can actually make good fathers? Fatherhood is not something simple or easy. It is not something obvious, and just like motherhood, much can be learned, but the inherent feeling of love has to be there in order for a man to flourish in this role. Yes, all men talk the talk about becoming a Dad, but how many can walk the walk when push comes to shove? Women end up finding this out after baby is born, but there are signs that can tip her off if her man is fatherhood material or not. There are the obvious signs to steer clear from him becoming a father; he’s violent, irresponsible, only cares about himself, or has drug/alcohol issues that need to be resolved. These are some most women would agree would not make him a father-of-the-year candidate at all.
What about the other men out there then? There are some obvious choices right off the bat, for example, he grew up raising his own brothers and sisters and loved them. And some not so obvious signs, like he thinks kids are cute but doesn't have direct experience with them. Will he fit the bill? Maybe or maybe not. Could be hit or miss. A woman has to take a chance. Or does she? How is a woman to know if she is contemplating parenthood with someone as into it as her? And most importantly, someone who will rock fatherhood? Here are 15 ways she can tell he’ll make a great father:
15 He Loves Hanging Out With Other Kids
He is the one always hanging out with the kids while the other adults are deep in conversation about, well, adult stuff. He will be goofing around, playing tag or playing ball or catch. She sees the look of excitement and love in his eyes. And hey, these kids are not even his! That is a major indicator he is up for having his own very soon. He is also the one that answers kids questions without annoyance, does not mind little voices interrupting adult conversations, and if the kids are noisy, it doesn’t bother him one bit.
Hey, kids are noisy. That’s what being a child is all about; being carefree and loving. He admonishes other adults who get annoyed and say that childhood is about freedom. The other men who don’t have kids may find this a little strange, but she is blown away and knows the time is now to get started on baby making.
14 He's Very Flexible And Willing To Compromise
He is the man that rarely argues with his partner, and when they do have an argument, he is willing to compromise and talk about how they can fix the problem. He will also have solutions instead of complaining about what has already happened, and he will be proactive and positive, rather than reactive and negative. He is, in other words, a partner to her in every sense of the word. He believes in sharing household duties equally. And he believes that both he and his partner deserve alone, friend and couple time.
He will definitively make a great father as he is willing to compromise and put someone else’s needs before his own. Being selfless means doing just that and making sure that all is running smoothly in both partners’ lives. Only this kind of thinking can make a person a good and fair parent to a child.
13 He Gets That Look In His Eyes When He Sees Babies
He's a dreamer and a lover. He's artistic and a free spirit. And when he sees a baby, any baby, he gets that look in his eye that makes a woman see that babies are in the future for them both. He's devoted to family, community and sharing, and he wants to have that with her. He enjoys being with kids, teaching and supporting their growth, and looks forward to giving piggy back rides, playing sports, and being the car pool Dad. She can see all that in his eyes when she watches him looking at babies and older kids.
She sees her future just as clearly as looking into a crystal ball. It's amazing and she knows she can trust that no matter what happens, he will make an amazing Dad one day. His impish smile shows her his “kid side,” which will help him remember the ups and downs of childhood and how important having fun and living in the moment is.
12 He's Affectionate And Talks About His Feelings
Who can resist a man who lets all his emotions out and wears his heart, so to speak, on his sleeve. This man is a keeper and major fatherhood material. He understands about sharing feelings as being the foundation for a good relationship. He also understands that being real is the only way to live, and one day parent honestly and lovingly. After all, if a person is honest about how they feel inside, they have that much more to bring to their baby and partner in the parenting role.
Fatherhood will test every part of him. If he starts off with full disclosure of his feelings to himself and his partner, he is already one step ahead of the game in being an honest and loving father. Other men struggle in this department as do some women. The ones that know themselves inside will be that much better at guiding and caring for their babies.
11 He's A Giving And Self-Sacrificing Person
He’s the guy who volunteers at charity events at work or spends his weekends volunteering at a shelter. Ladies, this man already knows the concept of deep love and self-sacrifice and putting someone else’s needs above his own. Only when a man and woman can do that will they become good parents. Until then, they are not giving a child all he/she needs and deserves. Charity or volunteer work with no expectation of recognition or reward is pretty much what parenting is. A person is not paid to be a parent, nor should they be. It is a labor of love, self-sacrifice and a job to bring this little person up in the best, most loving way possible.
There are no expectations of praise, raises or overtime pay in parenting. It is all considered part of the job and if all is done well, the parent fades into the background and a wonderful brilliant child emerges. This is similar to the countless volunteers who make an organization great with no praise expected towards themselves.
10 He's Hard-Working
He is not afraid of hard work and demands it being placed on him. He will not be looking at “what’s in it for me,” but will do what’s good for the collective as a whole. He will also work towards a bigger purpose or goal; helping the company he works at succeed, helping the organization he volunteers at grow, and when he is with friends, will do what he can to make the friend feel special, strong and capable.
A hard working man does not make excuses for himself or anyone else. He believes in choices, good and bad, and handling the fallout from either one of these choices. That's OK. It's all a learning experience. And this is something he will happily pass on as a father to his children.
9 He's Responsible About His Health
He works out regularly and eats well. He believes in body, mind and spiritual health, and encourages others around him to do the same. This is truly a balanced man and this kind of thinking will help him channel his strongest self for fatherhood and all its challenges. He will also be a Dad that encourages his child to be physically fit and healthy by eating right and exercising.
This means the whole family benefits from a healthy mindset. His partner benefits in a big way from this as she gets a partner who is completely on top of everything and is able to help her every step of the way in parenthood. Most likely he also encourages her to live a fit and healthy life and believes in balance and harmony. Parenthood requires strength and health on all levels, and a man who has it so together for his own health will be a great influence on the entire household.
8 He's Responsible With Money
He's responsible with money and manages it very well. Say no more. Babies cost a lot of money. There are so many things we don’t consider before having a baby, but he will undoubtedly have a budget for diapers, clothes, equipment, formula, breast pumps etc. He will also know in advance how much money the family can afford to live on if one or both take maternity or paternity leave, and how to recuperate if they have a small loss in income. He will be honest about these costs and there are no bad surprises financially speaking with a man like this.
It's refreshing as the last thing either partner needs to worry about when having a baby is money. With that issue taken care of, they can look forward to the joy of becoming new parents. He is reasonable and rational so will know when it's time to discuss money and when it's time to enjoy being with the people he loves.
7 He Cries During Sad Movies
Yes. He is the date that is wiping his eyes with a Kleenex while the other men around him look bored and stressed to be in the theater. Or else they are counting the seconds until the torture of sitting through a “chick flick” is over. A sensitive man who cries at movies though is an emotionally open and unafraid man who is happy to share his feelings and does not care if people are looking or not.
He is accessible and open and expects others to be, too. She loves this about him, as he will be one of those Dads who encourages his sons to cry to let their feelings out. It’s the only way to cleanse our souls and be free of tension and pain. He is modern thinking about men and women’s roles, and will raise his children to think along those lines as well. He’s fatherhood material!
6 He Always Talks About A Large Family
He comes from a large family and far from discouraging him, this has helped foster his love of large families and wanting his own. He grew up helping parents with childcare, chores, and anything else domestic so children are not a scary thing for him. If anything, it is an exciting proposition. After all, these will be his kids, and he will make sure they grow up with all the support he had as a child, and with a close relationship to their siblings as he had and still has with his.
If his partner is in agreement, having a large family is truly on his bucket list, as it is a great way to experience how to get along with different characters and learn to love whoever you're with, accepting them for all they are. The life lessons growing up in his large family taught him something he wants to pass on to future generation so they could be more open and giving youngsters.
5 He Knows How To Negotiate
Negotiation skills are an all-around asset for a man to have in order to be successful at fatherhood. At first he will only be negotiating with adults; his partner over childcare duties and sharing them equally, then with other family members who will help with baby, and finally with employers and co-workers. He knows how to be responsible for another human, and is able to stay organized and calm so that he can give his best to his family.
Negotiating also takes pressure off, as everything is decided in advance and there are no surprises to deal with. On a lighter note, those negotiating skills will help him as a father when the little one gets mobile and verbal. Then he’ll have his toughest negotiations and deals to close than ever with a determined toddler who has an opinion on everything. No matter. He’ll have honed those skills prior to fatherhood.
4 He Loves Acting Like A Big Kid
Ladies, these are the guys that are “big boys with big toys” and love to goof around, let loose, and have a silly time being, well, kid-like. Many people will tell them to grow up. Guess what people? These guys make the best fathers. They are loose, fun and know how to fool around and enjoy the moment. Now, as long as they do have serious moments and don’t spend the entire time playing, these men make incredible fathers.
They will cherish all the memorable times they have with their children. They will also encourage their kids to have good old fashioned experiences with exercise, simple games, and won’t be interested in settling them in front of the computer or video game screen all day. They know what a joy playing is, and will pass that down to their kids who will pass it out among friends and their own children one day.
3 He Doesn’t Mind Lack Of Sleep
He can surprisingly function well on several nights of bad sleep when necessary, and though is not thrilled about it, will handle it like a champ. Ladies, he is baby night feeding and changing material right there! This means he can temporarily make adjustments in this own schedule to help his partner out with baby and any other children or household responsibilities. Sleep deprivation is a biggie for all parents, men and women, but he is already ahead of the game and will go with the flow a little more easily than his sleep worshiping peers.
He will also be able to put a cheerful spin on things when tempers flare and irritability ensues due to extra pressures and responsibilities. A woman is lucky if she has a partner like this, and no matter how well or not she handles sleep deprivation, he will be there coaching and encouraging her in the background to keep going.
2 He Spoils The Family Dog Rotten
If she sees him cuddling, baby talking, and playing lovingly with the family dog, this is a sure sign of fatherhood success. A dog is not a baby, but is the closest thing; needy, devoted, wanting to please and requiring food, cleaning and play time. If he does this willingly, lovingly and without reservation, ladies he’ll make a great Dad! The play element with a dog is so important as it is with a baby. Dogs love the attention and crave that connection as do babies.
And feeding and taking them for walks means putting aside one’s own schedule to accommodate the animal who needs that time, exercise and space. It's fun to let loose and play, and if she sees him truly enjoying the canine’s presence and downtime, making jokes and being gentle and loving, these are the same skills required of fathers, to another degree of course, but one gets the idea.
1 He Knows All The Children’s Lullabies By Heart
He’s singing away to her nephew all the children’s songs from “Wheels on the Bus” to “Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes,” AND doing the actions along with them laughing with the boy! He’s a Dad in the making! Even if he doesn’t know all the words and makes them up as he goes along, he is creative, thinks outside the box, and is having fun playing with a child. Even more so. Yep. He’s ready ladies. Being musical is as important as having good play skills.
Children gravitate to music in a really cool way. They learn better, play better, and are calmer when music is used. If he plays with kids and uses music in that play, he knows all this intuitively and will make a great Dad. He may have picked things up watching family or friends, but the truth is, he has a deep love of children which is translated in how he interacts with other people’s kids.
Hopefully this lists helps clear the air for women out there who need to know if their man is fatherhood material. Remember, communication is key, and as long as those lines are open, she and her partner can make sure they are both just as enthusiastic about being a Mom and a Dad as their future child will be to welcome them as parents.