The stigma surrounding childbirth isn't encouraging for expecting mothers. The experience of bearing a child is said by some to be the most painful thing a woman can endure. In fact, more than one-half of all women who give birth naturally are now opting to get an epidural. Most of the time, this method of pain relief leaves a woman completely numb from the waist down. Although epidurals present a slight risk of complications, many moms-to-be are willing to take the risk in order to avoid the excruciating pain associated with labor and delivery.
What's the alternative? Well, women who give birth naturally may experience some unpleasant moments, or they may wish to attempt what has been dubbed an orgasmic birth.
According to Michel Odent, author of The Functions of the Orgasms, "Women who experience an authentic fetus ejection reflex (otherwise known as a birth orgasm) will reach an ecstatic emotional state during the birth and for several minutes afterwards."
"It should be a climax like no other, fueled by the same 'cocktail of love hormones' released during a sexual orgasm," adds Michel. "The rush of love, fueled by birthing hormones, is felt by mother and baby, leaving both on a hormonal 'high' that is perfectly designed to promote bonding."
Sold! Where do we sign up? Unfortunately, achieving an orgasmic birth isn't as easy as saying, "Yes. Yes. Yes!" Achieving a big O during labor takes practice, knowledge, focus and concentration. Read on for 15 ways to turn Baby's delivery into an experience of ecstasy instead of agony, and to possibly reach orgasm during delivery.
15 Practice Makes Perfect
Want to attempt an orgasmic delivery? The best way for a woman to prepare herself for this possibility is to practice. Yep, that's right. Practice having orgasms. The better a woman knows her body, and what works best to help her achieve climax, the higher the chances she will reach an orgasmic state during Baby's birth.
It is completely safe to be intimate during pregnancy, unless a woman has been told otherwise by a medical professional. Actually, getting busy beneath the sheets is a wonderful stress reliever, a beautiful way to bond with a partner and a lot of fun.
There are many different ways to achieve climax, and many different types of orgasms. Experimenting with different positions and methods of stimulation while expecting helps a woman really get in touch with her sensual side. It also gives her a greater chance of climaxing during her child's arrival, if she so desires.
Achieving a big O during the delivery of a baby isn't something that most women would be comfortable doing in a room full of doctors, nurses and other medical staff. This process is one that is personal, sacred and intimate. The more comfortable and safe a woman feels, the better her chances are of achieving a pleasurable birthing experience, if this is what she so desires.
Many women who have had the pleasure of climaxing during the delivery of their babies opted to give birth at home or in a birthing center. Experiencing an orgasm during birth isn't impossible at a hospital, but it helps if the only people present during Baby's arrival are those a woman feels completely comfortable letting loose in front of.
According to Odent, "Oxytocin is also known as the 'shy hormone' because a women will stop secreting it if she feels self-conscious or observed. A woman needs privacy during labor. She needs to feel unobserved, and she should be disturbed as little as possible."
Along with privacy, a woman wishing to attempt an orgasmic birth may feel more at ease and able to let go if the lights are low. Dim lighting allows a woman to feel a little less exposed and more relaxed. Low lights may help her achieve a trance-like state: one in which she is able to channel contractions in a way that will assist in her ability to experience pleasure, rather than hindering it.
Of course the room shouldn't be pitch black, but a few flickering candles or dim lamp-light create a mood that may help a woman to let go a bit more than she would in a room flooded with light.
Soft, sensual or peaceful tunes have also been proven to help people let go of the many worries and thoughts constantly swirling in their heads, and instead to breathe and focus. Different women may have different preferences when it comes to they type of music that is chosen. What helps one woman feel peace and assurance may be distracting to another. The bottom line? A woman should request that the lighting and any music played be to her liking. The more comfortable she feels, the more likely it is that she will be successful in her quest for a pleasure-filled birthing experience.
While the sound of music helps get some women into the right frame of mind for a birth filled with happy feelings, others focus best when there is silence. What is certain is the fact that the room where a woman is laboring should be one filled with tranquility. Beeping monitors, noisy family and friends, a boisterous medical staff and lack of privacy are all sure-fire ways to kill the mood.
Many women who have been able to achieve the height of sexual pleasure while in the act of delivering a baby attest to the fact that even a small distraction may disrupt their concentration, and make it difficult to get back into the right frame of mind.
Achieving climax is just as much a mental act as it is a physical one for many women. Loud conversation, the wrong type of music or any other distraction may make it hard for a woman to get back to state of zen once her focus has been disrupted.
11 An Intimate Birth Environment
Writer, Sheila Kamara Hay claims that among the many important factors that come into play, one that may give a woman the best chance of success when attempting an orgasmic birth is a birthing environment that is not only peaceful and free from distractions, but also intimate and familiar.
She says, "A sensual environment helps us relax into an experience, turn off our minds, and allow our bodies to lead. Dim lighting, privacy, feeling safe, loved, and unhurried.”
Home births are not always a possibility due to pregnancy risk factors, but delivering Baby in one's own bedroom or bathtub, in an environment that is full of preferred decor and the comforts of home, may help a woman to fully let go, and feel safe doing so.
If a woman is attempting an orgasmic birth in a birthing center or hospital, bringing along familiar items like a personal pillow, blanket, lamp or wall hanging may help her feel as if the place her baby is delivered is a home away from home. This may assist her in feeling safe and comfortable enough to throw inhibition to the wind and love her delivery.
10 No Drugs
According to Odent, "These days many babies and placentas are delivered using artificial substitutes for the 'love hormones' that are necessary for an orgasmic birth experience. Artificial drugs such as synthetic oxytocin, epidurals and injections to deliver the placenta all inhibit the natural peak of oxytocin necessary for an orgasmic birth."
Cosmopolitan magazine recently interviewed three different women who claim to have achieved an orgasm during delivery. None of the three had any sort of intervention or medication in the delivery of their children. They all attest to the fact that lack of interventions allowed them to achieve climax.
As stated above, the chemicals present in medications that dull pain also dim other receptors, including those that induce pleasure. Synthetic hormones block the natural ones that assist in helping a woman reach the point of a big O during delivery. However, a woman attempting to give birth without pain medication should be aware that sometimes medical intervention is necessary for the safety of both mother and child.
9 The Right Information
Debra Pascali-Bonaro is a childbirth educator with 26 years of experience. On the subject of orgasmic birth, she says, "It is, as we say, the best-kept secret. I believe by women having such terrible fear. … Women aren't getting the choices they need, to make the experience as easy as possible."
The truth is, orgasmic birth may well be a possibility for every woman who desires it. The only thing standing in the way of pleasurable births for all who wish to have them may be lack of education, knowledge and support.
Of course, not all women wish to have this type of a delivery. There are many who feel having an epidural is the right choice for them. Still others have no choice at all, as their high-risk pregnancies or deliveries make Cesarean delivery the safest and best option. The sooner giving birth is viewed as a glorious experience for Mom and Baby, however it goes down, the more women will feel safe enough to consider the possibility that having an orgasmic birth may be a possibility for them.
8 Get In the Mood
According to Hay, "Our sexual and birthing anatomy were meant to function with pleasure.” A woman may or may not agree with this statement, and, in truth, there's only one way to find out. It is encouraging that the three women interviewed by Cosmopolitan magazine claim to have achieved the ultimate pleasure a woman can enjoy while bringing their babies into the world.
Two of the women stated they had one big climax during delivery, while the third woman claimed to have reached the big O four separate times during her child's birth. It is common knowledge that most women need some time to warm up before the big shebang.
Beginning the process of getting in the mood as soon as labor begins may be key in experiencing waves of pleasure and even a full-on climax as labor progresses and Baby enters the world. As soon as contractions start, getting into the right frame of mind by limiting distractions and participating in foreplay, whether solo or with a partner, are wonderful ways to get things moving in the right direction.
7 Get Help If Desired
Once again, each woman's preference will differ when deciding what is the best way to help her reach the orgasmic point of pure pleasure during delivery. Some women feel more comfortable with a "no boys allowed" policy and choose a few women that they feel the most comfortable around to be present for the delivery. Others welcome the assistance of their male partner, and feel more comfortable if their midwife or doctor is not present during the majority of labor while things are heating up.
One woman who has experienced an orgasmic birth shared,"The main way that I experienced orgasmic birth was by looking in my partner's eyes as I had each contraction and saying, 'I love you, I love you, I love you,' with each wave. In my opinion, this produced large amounts of oxytocin that helped the labor progress, and kept me relaxed and connected rather than stressed and in pain, and all that contributed to the orgasm."
To each their own. Just like each baby and each woman is different, each woman's route to orgasm is unique. Nassim Haramein, whose wife experienced an orgasmic birth, shared how happy it made him. He says,"It made me feel like everything was gonna be all right. The experience didn't have to be a traumatic, painful experience. It could be an experience of ecstatic joy."
6 As Little Interference As Possible
During the course of labor, it is essential for certain steps and precautions to be taken to ensure everything is progressing as it should. Midwives or other medical professionals involved in a baby's delivery must check for dilation, listen to baby's heartbeat and time contractions. All of these things should be done with as little disruption as possible to the mother. Every time she is distracted from the task at hand, it may be more and more difficult for her to return to the right frame of mind.
Baby's safety should always come first, and those assisting with delivery should be able to do what is needed to ensure the safety of both Mom and Baby, but limiting disruptions can assist a mom wishing to achieve an orgasmic birth in accomplishing her heart's desire.
"Sex and childbirth and are not two separate, distinct, and unrelated acts that happen to occur nine months apart. There is an informal statistic in natural birth circles that says 20% of women experience orgasmic births." -Sheila Kamara Hay
5 Make Some Noise
Mom may wish for silence while concentrating on bringing Baby safely into the world, while also reaching a heightened sense of sexual pleasure, but she should feel free to be as noisy as she so desires.
In regards to making noise while bringing Baby into the world, Hay shares, "Moaning and breathing are tools that are used in many sexual modalities to increase pleasure and extend orgasm, but they are also tools used in natural birth to support the body’s opening (and can have similar side effects of pleasure and ecstasy)."
Sounds as if a woman who feels comfortable getting loud has a better chance of accomplishing her goal of reaching the big O. This is yet another reason a woman should be in an environment where she has no reservations. Feeling foolish or embarrassed is a sure-fire mood killer. The good news is, once a woman is in the zone, she may forget anyone else is present and completely let go. Throwing all inhibitions out the window and being in the moment are important steps to take when hoping to achieve climax during delivery.
4 Sing It, Sister
Elana Skoko delivered her baby at the Yayasan Bumi Sehat natural birth center, located in Bali, Indonesia. She chose to sing in order to help herself get in the mood, and stay in the mood, during her orgasmic delivery.
She says,"The moment I realized my body is behaving sensually spontaneously and not obstructing that feeling, and just going with this feeling of my sensual body, my labor just went fast ahead. I had pain, but was not afraid of it, because I was dealing with it." Skoko continues, "It was fun, because I could laugh through it."
Today's movies, television shows, and even birthing classes, rarely depict women laughing and singing through their labors. The orgasmic delivery approach to bringing a baby into the world may be outside the norm, but the possibility of labor being a positively magical experience, instead of a horrendous and deplorable one, may appeal to many women who weren't aware there was an alternative to a difficult labor, or one that is dealt with by receiving pain medication.
3 Hips Don't Lie
According to Hay, “Resistance to the flow is one of the biggest triggers of pain in childbirth.” One of the ways many women have claimed to achieve the height of pleasure during Baby's birth is through movement. Sexual pleasure may be heightened by moving the hips and pelvis in a sensual way. Changing positions and massage have also been shown to reduce pain and speed up delivery.
Pascali-Bonaro explains how women of today in the western world are often restricted in the way their babies are delivered. She says, "If we look at most other countries in the world, women have a lot of options. They're allowed to be upright, they can move in labor. They can use warm water. They can use balls. There's so much that they can do that makes the experience easier."
She concludes, "In the U.S. today, you walk in a typical hospital, you're put in bed on your back. That in itself makes labor longer and harder and more painful."
2 Welcome Arousal and Climax
Once a woman has done all she can to ensure a pleasurable birth is a possibility, from creating an intimate birthing environment, to dimming the lights, concentrating and stimulating feelings of desire, only one thing stands between her and the ability to attain an orgasmic birth: the belief that she is able to do so. It seems counter-intuitive to assume that intense pain would bring on intense pleasure, but this is exactly what experts in the field suggest.
Dr. Christiane Northrup, a board-certified OB-GYN believes a woman's ability to orgasm during a baby's delivery is basic science. She says, "When the baby's coming down the birth canal, remember, it's going through the exact same positions as something going in...to cause an orgasm." Northrup continues, "And labor itself is associated with a huge hormonal change in the body, way more prolactin, way more oxytocin, way more beta-endorphins -- these are the molecules of ecstasy."
Northrup believes a woman's approach to labor pain may make all of the difference. She concludes, "Whenever you expect pain, you tense up your muscles, your stress hormone levels go up and that increases pain." Believing pleasure is attainable may be crucial in achieving an orgasmic birth.
The final step to reaching climax during delivery is surrendering to the feelings involved, both painful and pleasurable. Many women have experienced an orgasm as Baby is descending through the birth canal. A mama who doesn't hold anything back, isn't afraid to lose control, and is ready to experience one of the most intense feelings a human being is capable of, is well on her way to experiencing an orgasmic birth.
Amber Hartnell of Hawaii sums up her orgasmic birth as follows: "All of a sudden the orgasm just started rolling through and rolling through, and it just kept coming, and my whole body was spiraling and rolling, and I was laughing and crying."
Sounds a lot different from what many women envision when thinking about a baby's delivery. Achieving a big O during delivery isn't for everyone. Every woman should be able to decide which type of delivery is right for her, free from judgement. If a climax during Baby's delivery sounds down-right wonderful, follow the steps above. Best of luck. We hope you enjoy the liberating and euphoric results.