There is a lot of focus in today's world on our little girls. We are becoming more and more aware of the fact that they need to be protected, and taught how to protect themselves. Do we ever stop and think about the little boys of the world? If the men are the abusers, should we not be looking at how we raise our little boys to be gentlemen? To grow up to be men that respect, appreciate and love women. To grow up and be the husband and father that we want them to be?

Harvey Weinstein has been all over the news and media lately, and for good (if disgusting) reasons. Weinstein is a film producer and former film studio executive. Him and his brother, Bob Weinstein, co-founded Miramax. Miramax has released many iconic films that audiences love. In October of this year, Weinstein found himself in muddy waters when he had countless woman step forward and accuse him of horrible crimes. He was accused of sexual harassment, sexual assault and even rape. He has since been fired, and is currently under investigation by law enforcement.

Hardly the type of role model we want for our children, especially our sons. This is not the type of many we want our children to do. But, how much control do we have over who our children become? It is the constant battle of nature vs. nurture. Are mean, awful people born or raised? This will continue to be debatable, but if we want to give our sons the best advantage, there are things we, as parents, can do.

Here are 15 ways to make sure your sons never grow up to be another Harvey Weinstein.

15 Get Rid Of ‘Boys Will Be Boys’

We all know the saying, ‘boys will be boys’, it is constantly said when boys are misbehaving. When school yard bullying happens, and a boy misbehaves, we tend to shrug it off as just boy behaviour. When little Johnny pulls on Sally’s braids, we just say he is being a boy, and that’s what boys do. This seemingly innocent saying, has dangerous implications, and we are setting them up for failure.

When we say that boys will be boys, we are implying that they have no control over their actions. That it is some ingrained male gene that causes boys to be mean and pick on other kids, and little girls. Our boys need to be help accountable for their actions, starting at a young age. Boys are not genetically predisposed to pick on girls, their behaviour needs to be corrected, or they may grow to think that their behaviour is acceptable.

14 Emotions Are Ok

Another thing we are doing wrong, is teaching our boys that they need to be tough. That boys do not cry or show emotion, that they need to be tough and face their problems head on. This can be very damaging. Boys are humans, and they have emotions and they need to express these emotions. Teach them that it is OK to be upset, mad, or frustrated. Tell them it is OK to cry and talk about their feelings.

When we do not let our boys express their emotions openly, it may cause them to completely detach from anything related to human emotions. This includes empathy. Empathy, or the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, is a powerful emotion. This is the emotion that prevents a lot of people from doing bad things. Empathy is built early on, when boys are just children, and if they lack a sense of caring and empathy, they will be more inclined to cause more harm that good.

13 Sense Of Self

Since we often view boys as children that need to grow up to be strong and powerful, we often forget to validate who they feel they are. The truth is, not all men are strong. Some are more emotional, some are more analytical, and some are tough. This has nothing to do with being male, but it does have everything to do with being human. Every human is different, and to think that all men need to be strong is not only very stereotypical, it can be damaging.

If we continuously tell our sons that they need to be strong and powerful, it may lead them to do things that are not morally sound, all in the name of looking powerful. We all know that sexual harassment and rape is not about the sexual act, but it is about power. If we devoid our sons of a sense of self, no matter who that self is, they may seek to feel powerful any way they can.

12 Have A Good Father Figure

Now this one is a little tricky, and does not mean that if you are a single mother that your little boy will not grow up to be anyone other than Weinstein. A good father figure has statistically shown that little boys grow up to be well rounded and functioning adults. This can sometimes cause a problem if a mom is doing it by herself.

The strongest influence on a child is the parent of the same sex, so a little boy would be his father. Now, if the biological dad is not around, look for anyone else that would be a great male influence on your son. Maybe your dad, the paternal grandfather, or even the pastor at your local church. Someone who you admire, and who has traits you would like to be passed on to your soon. It does not need to be a dad, but a male that can help guide your son as he grows.

11 Teach Him Respect

One trait that all men who commit sexual offences have in common is the simple fact that they do not respect women. Respect for women (and all in general) is crucial in ensuring you are raising a boy who will grow to be a gentleman. Teaching respect is something that happens when a child is very young, it actually may never be too early to teach respect.

The key to teaching and establishing boundaries and respect is holding them accountable for their actions. When there is a behaviour, there is a consequence and it must be followed through. Children need guidance, and a lot of a child’s life involves authority. Parents, teachers and even doctors are all authority figures, and if we teach our sons to respect these people, we are well on our way.

10 Watch Yourself!

Sometimes, part of raising a good son is looking in the mirror at ourselves. How do we respond to the way people treat us? If a mom allows herself to be treated with disrespect and disregard, then she is showing her son that it is OK for woman to be treated this way. If she handles herself with dignity and respect, then she can be a great role model for her son.

This involves a lot of self-awareness on our parts. If you are a person who does not like confrontation (such as myself), then you have to make sure you do not let people get away with making snide remarks to you. Stand up for yourself. Of course, do not be a bully or go out of your way to engage in confrontation, but stand up for yourself and your beliefs.

9 Women Are Equal

It is a sad thing to say that in this modern world, women are still not always considered equal to men. We are a lot closer than we were even 20-years ago, but we still have a long way to go in equality. This change starts right with our children, they are the next generation of adults, so there is no better place to teach lessons on the things that need to change in this world.

It is important that we teach our sons that women are just as equal as they are. That women are strong, brave and resilient. That they are not (always) the dainty little damsels that need saving, they rarely are. That they should be treated with the same respect that they would treat their fraternity brothers. By teaching them that women are just as equal, we can hopefully change the thought that women are weak and property.

8 Have An Open Mind

There are so many things we need to teach our children that it can get overwhelming. It can leave a mom wondering if she missed something, leaving her frantically searching for all the morals she needs to instill. The good news is, a lot of the lessons come without us even realizing we are teaching them. Having an open mind is something that is so important to instill into our children.

Their way is not the highway, no ones is. There are always multiple ways to solve problems, and multiple different ways to think about certain things. By teaching our sons that there are millions of different thoughts and ideas, it helps them to know that they do not know everything (and your boy will think at one point that he does). This kind of goes hand in hand with empathy and lets them be able to relate to others.

7 Dads, You Better Step Up!

If your child is part of a two-parent family, it is more important than ever that dad is a good husband. They have said numerous times, that in most situations, a woman picks a man to spend her life with who reminds her of her father. When they are then happily married, they want their sons to grow up and be like their husbands. So, it is crucial for a dad to be a great dad, but an even better husband.

Children absorb everything around them, many things without you even noticing. They are watching how dad treats mom, and they start to build their own definition of what a husband, father and man should be. They learn how to treat and respect women by watching how dad does it. When you are a kid, dad does no wrong, and he is the ultimate role model for our sons.

6 Saying Sorry!

Child experts everywhere always say that you should never tell a child to apologize, because you are teaching them to feel something they may not feel. This may sound good in theory, but it is teaching them that they do not need to feel bad for actions they have done. Sure, the boy may not have thought what he did was a big deal, but he did hurt someone’s feelings, and their feelings need to be validated.

It is important to teach our boys to apologize, they will not be less of a ‘man’ if they do not say sorry when they have made someone feel bad. This teaches them accountability and the ability to acknowledge that their actions (no matter what they were) have made someone feel bad. When a child is taught to apologize, it is another thing that will help his sense of empathy grow.

5 Help Not Hurt

There is something called ‘bystander empathy’ in psychology. What this means is that if you are out in public and see someone get hurt, the more people that are around, the less likely you are to step in and help. If you are the only one around, you will be more inclined to assist. It is important that we teach our sons to help no matter what. It doesn’t matter if there are 2 or 200 people around, if you see someone in need, you help them.

We need to hardwire our children’s brains to help not hurt. That we are on this earth to help each other out, and not be the cause of any hurt anyone feels. If someone falls, you help them up and not be the one that trips them. By teaching them to help not hurt, we are raising boys that may one day be the men to protect a woman if she is need of help. That is something that will make all moms proud.

4 Say I Love You

It seems so simple, but the easiest thing we can do is to tell our children that we love them, and say it often. We often put out behaviour and feelings that we feel inside. If a child feels nothing but loved, he is more likely to show love when he leaves the house. The feeling of being loved goes a long way to building a man who will love everyone, and would not dream of hurting anyone.

When we tell our children we love them, we are building their self-worth. We are giving them the security of a home and a place to go. We also provide them with someone to talk to and someone who will always love them, no matter what. Someone who will not judge them, but wrap them up in a loving embrace. So, tell your sons your love them, and tell them often.

3 It Is OK To Get Help

A lot of men have grown up thinking that they need to be all macho all the time, that it is a sign of weakness for them to ask for help. This mentality needs to stop, and we can stop it with our sons. In an attempt to explain, there are a handful of mental illnesses that can cause a man (or person) to act unkind and make horrible decisions. This is not an attempt to excuse the behaviour, but explain it.

When we raise our boys to understand that it is OK to ask for help when they need it, we are teaching them that if they feel like something is wrong than they need to talk to a professional. Of course, a boy does not understand the concepts of mental illness, but when he has grown up knowing that it is OK to ask for help, he is already prepared for adulthood, when he does understand when something is not right.

The word consent is a big one, and for very good reason. We need to teach our sons at a young age what consent is, and that they require consent before doing anything to another human being. If they want a hug, they need to ask for one. If they want a kiss, then they need to ask for one. Of course, there is a minimum age you can teach this, a cuddly one-year old is not capable of understanding a concept such as consent.

As our boys grow, we need to teach them different forms of consent. When they go to that house party, and a girlfriend has had a couple drinks, and is saying yes, this is not her consenting. In order to receive proper consent, the person must be thinking clearly, with no interaction from drugs or alcohol. We don’t like to think of our teens drinking, but it happens, and this is where the consent line can get grey, instead of black and white.

1 Education

Education is key. Reading, writing and arithmetic are all foundational teachings that are very important. When children have good access to education, they are better prepared for a stable lifestyle. This means that moms and dads need to make education a priority over everything else. If possible, pushing our children to go on to college and university is crucial.

This is not to say that those who are highly educated or intelligent do not commit awful crimes, we know that they do. Statistically speaking though, a child who has been brought up to value education, secondary education and land himself a steady career are less likely to commit crimes harming others, especially women. It teaches them to also be part of a social grouping, and how to behave in such a group. If they have the right group of friends, then together they can all change the world with the way they think and behave.

Sources: yourmoderndad.com, mommyish.com, womansday.com