15 Ways Women Try And Bounce Back

The struggle is so real for new moms. We’re unrealistically expected to shrink back to pre-baby size almost instantly after giving birth. It doesn’t matter that it took nine months to grow the baby, all that seems to matter is mom’s jean size and how well put-together she looks holding that new bundle of joy. It’s so unfair… it’s not even funny.

There are a lot of simple, healthy ways to take the weight off slowly, but a lot of moms are impatient. Fast methods and fast results of cutting pounds are what drive the diet industry’s multi-million dollar profits. We see an ad on TV promising rapid weight loss, and we instantly pick up the phone… it’s like we’re programmed to spend and “keep up with the Joneses.”

Lots of moms damage their sanity, health, and finances jumping on the latest fad diet or starving themselves… but it doesn’t stop there. Every year, some crazy new trend comes out that promises an even faster “bounce back.”

Or some nutjob on a mom forum will whisper about her dirty little tricks and others will follow. It doesn’t matter how potentially harmful these things are, there’ll be plenty of people who try. It’s shocking what some will do to achieve that “ideal” image. Read on to find out the 15 Dangerous Ways Women Try And Bounce Back.

15 Cut The Cleansing

Here's a story to warn you away from taking extreme measures to lose weight. One mommy describes how she lost about 40 pounds in about a month using “this gross cleanse made of cayenne pepper, maple syrup, water, and lemon juice.” She would drink it 3 times a day and eat barely anything with it, sometimes having rice or veggies.

“I started having really bad stomach pains about a week in, but I pushed through. The pains turned into bloody diarrhea, and I honestly felt like pieces of my insides were coming out or something. I mean, I was so scared but I didn’t know how to stop. The numbers on the scale kept going down, and everyone told me how great I looked. I was hooked.”

Again, this type of thing is NEVER safe to do, especially right after giving birth and/or if you’re breastfeeding. You can do serious harm to your body and your baby, who will be getting some of whatever you’re excreting.

14 Illegal Substances

You would have to be incredibly desperate or insane to believe doing in kind of illegal substances post-pregnancy is a good way to slim down. Believe it or not, one mom talks about her experiences doing just that.

“After I had my LO, I started dabbling in [powder] because I heard from one of my girlfriends it could make you lose a lot of weight fast. I wasn’t breastfeeding so I didn’t see any harm in it. My husband found out though after he came home early from a business trip. He kicked me out and now I realized I ruined my marriage and my family.” Yeah, not so harmless after all, was it? Sheesh.

13 Cutting Down The Waist

We have all seen them… the ridiculous and painful corsets and waist trainers celebs like Kim K. love to post all the time on their Instagram accounts. You might think these things are perfectly safe, I mean, even fitness experts use them to lean down before competitions, right? Some idiots even double up on these to prepare for Hollywood roles.

One doctor speaks of the extreme dangers of using anything that squeezes the tummy and waist area in for long periods of time. Dr. Ali states, “I have seen so many women with internal damage from wearing such things. They can cause organ damage, spine issues, and circulation disruptions. The longer you wear these garments, the more damage you can do.” Also, who the heck wants to deal with that discomfort while taking care of a baby? I guess some people truly believe pain is beauty.

12 Popping Bottles

Diet pills are something we see and hear about ALL THE DAMN TIME. From the back pages of our favorite tabloids to daytime TV ads, you literally can’t escape them. Turn on the radio and you’re bound to hear constant promises of crazy weight loss and “satisfaction guaranteed!”

The problem with diet pills is that they are often not even approved by the FDA, and even the ones that are can carry loads of risks (especially if you’re breastfeeding!) Often, we don’t hear about the damaging effects until years later… remember how they banned the ultra-popular “bitter orange” because it caused tons of heart attacks? The girl above had her skin turn yellow and fell drastically underweight from pills.

Anything that speeds up the metabolism or “cleanses you” will likely leave harmful chemicals in the breastmilk. They can also lead to insomnia, jitters, increased blood pressure, heart failure… the list goes on and on. Just say no!

11 Draining The Girls

Some people have had the crazy idea that pumping milk more often would be a great way to lose weight. While it might empty out the body for a moment and burn a few calories, there is one glaring issue to this theory. The second you pump, you’re sending the signal to your body to start making more milk.

Basically, for most women, the more you pump or feed the baby, the more milk you’ll probably make. And it takes increased calories to keep up your energy and not feel totally depleted, so this isn’t something you want to being doing. Not sure why anyone would think this was a wise idea. If you make more milk than your baby needs, consider donating to a mother in need through a milk bank. The internet has lots of websites designed just for this.

10 Hooked On Pain

This is one road you do not want to go down... workout addiction. It might seem like the more calories you burn, the better off you will be. What people don’t think about is how easy it is to overdo it, and put your body into a state of starvation where it actually holds on to every calorie you take it.

On top of burning too many calories, physical exhaustion takes a toll on the muscles, with increased wear and tear. Injuries and illness can then pop up, making your new journey of motherhood less-than-pleasant. Stick to 30 minutes to an hour a day of moderate exercise and eating a well-balanced diet, and you will be doing PLENTY for your snapback game.

9 A Vicious Cycle

Here is another deadly “extreme diet” technique that literally can put you on death’s door. Purging is expelling food out of the body, usually through vomiting after eating. Not only is it terrible for the esophagus, throat, teeth, gums, and mouth… the entire body is affected when you do this. Also, this is another time when the body will hold onto whatever calories you take in afterwards, because it thinks it is starving.

Ongoing purging is called bulimia and often requires medical treatment and even hospitalization to address the underlying psychological and physical issues. Moms might feel intense pressure to get back to their goals, but purging is never a safe or smart solution and it never leads anywhere good.

8 Ask Dr. Atkins

I don’t know about you, but I am so beyond tired of hearing about all my friends that are on some fad diet or other. They constantly claim they hate having mood swings, yet they can’t fathom that depriving their body of major food groups is causing this.

Whether it’s the “eat by your blood type” diet, the “Atkins” diet, Paleo, intermittent fasting, the “raw til 5 diet, “skinny teatox,” or any other extreme diet, these plans are NOT safe for everyone, nor are they necessary or beneficial for everyone. I don’t know how to tell you this, but your body NEEDS carbs. And some people NEED to keep eating certain things to stay balanced. Btw... it's said that Dr. Atkins die of a heart attack from all that unhealthy red meant. JS.

There is no one plan that works for everyone, and it is really hard to perfectly follow most of these ridiculous regimens, anyway. Try listening to your body and what it wants and needs, instead.

7 Forcing The Go

Who doesn’t love that light and healthy feeling of having good digestion? Well, some take this one to the extreme and down entire boxes of laxatives, hoping to get rid of every calorie they just took in. While they speed up digestion and may shed some water weight, this is an EXTREMELY DANGEROUS technique that can cause all types of medical issues, including fatal dehydration and malnutrition.

If you’re having problems keeping things going, try asking your doc about an OTC fiber supplement, taking a probiotic, or increasing fiber and water in your diet. Go for daily walks and cut out foods that slow down digestion, anything heavy, fried, or very meaty/cheesy. I promise you’ll see a difference.

6 Gorging On Paper Products

Perhaps one of the craziest things people looking to lose weight might do is consume things that aren’t fit for human consumption. Doctors have seen people ingest anything you can imagine, from cotton balls to paper to human hair- many times in hopes of feeling full and not having to eat actual calories.

Let’s talk about what’s wrong with this, in case it’s not instantly obvious. When you eat things that aren’t digestible, they are going to accumulate in the body, eventually causing you to need emergency surgery to remove them. Either that, or you will have one heck of a painful experience trying to push them out yourself. Just please don’t.

5 Gluten-Free Is For The Birds

One of America’s favorite things is to have isles of sugar-free, gluten-free goodies to make people feel like the crap they are eating is good for them, when it is often harmful in other ways or devoid of real nutrition.

Here’s a little tip- unless you actually have Diabetes, Celiac’s, or a gluten/sugar sensitivity, having an occasional cookie, bowl of cereal, or piece of dark chocolate is not going to do a damn thing to your body or your diet. The body NEEDS occasion treats even during dieting (to prevent plateaus), and the more fake crap you shovel in that mouth of yours, the more your stomach will scream at you. Also, fake sugars are known to cause cancer and other health issues, so heads up. So go ahead, treat yourself.

4 Botched Bodies

There is nothing wrong with good plastic surgery. With a board-accredited surgeon who comes highly-recommended and actually listens to what the patient wants, surgery can help some moms get back to feeling sexy again. The problems arise when people fly to sketchy third-world countries or go down into dark (and illegal) basement offices to seek unlicensed surgery.

Surgery is the type of thing you need to spend money on. You need a licensed person who knows what they’re doing, and even then, there are risks of infection, anesthesia-related deaths, and physical mistakes/scarring. I wish some moms wouldn’t take things so lightly and trust that anyone can do surgery well. That’s how you wind up on “Botched.”

3 Sweating It Out

There’s nothing like a good sweat to burn off those unwanted pounds and get you feeling good again. There is such a thing as overdoing it, though. Whether you’re hitting the sauna, hot yoga class, or going to good old-fashioned sweat lodge, there is the risk of becoming dehydrated or faint and some people have even died. That is why you need to do those activities in moderation, and make sure you’re healthy and hydrated enough to attend.

Also, ever seen one of those wrestlers running around with a sweat suit and garbage bags on trying to cut weight? Yeah, don’t be that person. The body runs at the exact temperature it’s supposed to, and if you tamper with that, you’re asking for problems. I actually used to work out in one of those outfits designed to make you sweat, and I landed myself in the hospital because of it. Trust me, it’s not worth it.

2 "As Seen On TV"

Ah, my favorite section on the list. We have all seen these stupid as hell items that run on late night TV commercials. It seemed to get even more hilarious with the advent of the “Shake Weight”, but these contraptions have been around FOREVER.

Back in the 50’s, you’d see women standing with vibrating straps around their midsection, believing promises of instant weight-loss and a perfect figure. The bottom line is this… there’s no instant fix for getting in shape. Any product that claims otherwise is a waste of your time and money. Sure, every now and then, a good new piece of workout machinery or contraption will come out, but unless a notable expert or fitness guru is using it themselves (more than just in the commercial), just stick to the basics.

1 Starvation Diets

Last but not least... we know it’s extra important for mom keep a diet that’s balanced/high-energy. When nursing, she’ll need extra calories and hydration, too. Starvation diets take things to the true extreme, and here is one story of that.

Jasmine and Mina were best friends since age 12, but Mina became distant during pregnancy, gaining about 65 pounds. She was depressed about it, though her doctor said it was not the end of the world (because she was very petite to begin with and retained a lot of fluid).

After Mina give birth to her little boy, she told Jasmine they should be diet buddies ASAP and that she had already started a new diet she discovered online.

Jasmine came back to see Mina and the baby two weeks later because she lived pretty far away. In those short weeks… Mina had starved herself down 50 pounds! She confessed she ate “nothing but saltine crackers.” Ladies… this is NUTS, please do not do this EVER.

Sources: WebMD, MomForum, WhatToExpect

More in What?