If you haven’t heard about the sugaring lifestyle yet, you have likely been sleeping under a rock over the last decade. From television shows such as Showtime’s ‘The Girlfriend Experience’ to 20-somethings spilling everything about their sugaring experience to websites such as ‘The Daily Mail’ and ‘GQ’, it’s something that we’re all a little curious to read about these days.
Oh, who are we kidding? We have always been interested in these types of stories. Remember Anna Nicole Smith and her married 90-year old Texas billionaire, J. Howard Marshall? She was still her twenties when they met! Anna made it on the cover of every major news outlet and even landed her own reality television show, for not only her beauty, but her ‘sugar baby’ antics!
When it comes to ‘sugar babies’ dating their ‘sugar daddies’, the media has jumped on board to fill us in. We all kind of want to know how these young college students are meeting men on ‘dating’ websites such as Seeking Arrangement who pay off their college tuition. And, it’s the discreet confessions that are often the most shocking.
Enter in ‘Whisper’. Do you have the Whisper app, yet? In case you didn’t know, Whisper ‘is the best place to discover secrets around you. When it comes to sugaring, there are a lot of juicy whispers out there and we’ve rounded up the juiciest to share with you. “Being a sugar daddy was the best decision I ever made.”
15 Paid In Full
Sure, most women would go on a date if it meant an extra grand in the bank. While there is the idea of finding your one-true love, but maybe that’s just old fashioned. One sugar baby in her late teens admitted to Vanity Fair that for her generation, ‘Instagram has a lot to do with it- people constantly posting what they have.’ It’s a new way of ‘keeping up with the Jones’ that influenced her decision to be a sugar-baby so she could afford designer duds.
‘I do it for the Chanel’, boasts another sugar baby on social media. Although, what these girls are doing- using their feminine charms for money is actually nothing new. So, what’s so bad about enjoying a couple of drinks to be able to afford what your full-time job can’t buy?
14 Two Birds - One Stone
Whoa, choosing a ‘sugar baby’ lifestyle might not be the best way to deal with intimacy issues. It’s more of a way to avoid the issue. And, avoiding it is never a healthy way to deal with problems. According to Psychology Today, 17% of adults have a fear of intimacy and avoid closeness in relationships. Sometimes it stems from neurotic questions such as, ‘What do they want from me?’
We’re guessing this sugar baby liked the fact that the sugar lifestyle automatically answers this question. Yet, a better way to deal with difficulties about commitment and showing emotion could be confronting fears by listening, learning to communicate, and learning to put relationships first. It’ll probably work out better in the long run to have someone around that truly cares for you and can address your personal issues than an emotionless stand-in.
13 Who's Winning Here?
Being physical literally makes you happy. No wonder some consider it to be one of the best therapies. Scientifically, orgasms release dozens of health boosting hormones. “Orgasm in men and women causes the release of oxytocin, one of the brain’s stress-reducing chemicals,” says Dr. Paul Zak, Ph.d, author of ‘The Moral Molecule: The Source of Love and Prosperity’.
It also increases the production of serotonin (the happy hormone). As if that isn’t enough, it's is a physical activity that also releases another feel-good hormone, dopamine. So, we can only imagine that a man whose eyes are bloodshot from staring the rising and falling stock market all day, might have to pay to relax. Plus, it doesn’t hurt that he mostly likely has a pretty girl on his arm who will listen to his every whine and complaint.
12 Way More Than Expected
One sugar baby confessed, “At most, maybe we’ll have to do something - get coffee- and I may get a couple of hundreds thrown my way.” In the same breath she also complained about having to have two jobs outside of sugaring. “It’s not like how it is in the movies, where you find a sugar daddy and he buys you a car and pays for your school and all this stuff.”
So, some sugar babies might only make $500 per evening from an all-expanses paid night out. And, then there’s the fact that they can’t become emotionally attached, cannot tell friends, and simply being sociable with an older guy (who you may not even like) for several hours is pretty tiring. We’re sorry that you have to work so hard.
11 The Stress-Free Life
College is expensive. Interest rates from loans are soul crushing. So, it’s no surprise that a college student would jump at the chance of making enough money to pay off her school worries. Well, there’s always bartending or maybe waiting until you have a real job. Yet, when you hear stories like one sugar baby who confessed to Marie Claire that after four years of sugaring in college, she walked away with $300,000, sometimes you might find yourself daydreaming about the sugar baby lifestyle.
Although, this sugar baby also said that she met with 30 men who ranged from 42 years old to 75 years old! Then again, considering America’s $1.44 trillion student loan debt problem with 444.2 million Americans in debt to their student loans, maybe dating a man 50+ years your senior to pay off debt isn’t such a big deal.
10 Out Of Sight - Out Of Mind
Do not fall in love with your sugar daddy! That’s probably one of the first pieces of advice a sugar baby is given. Okay, second, because ‘be safe’ should be first. So, knowing that this sugar baby can be lovey dovey with her ‘daddy’ and then forget about him when she walks away, shows that she knows what she’s doing. If you want love, there are more traditional dating websites for that.
Yet, if you’re using a site such as ‘seeking arrangement’, then you kind of have to know that you’re getting yourself into an ‘arrangement’ as opposed to a ‘relationship’. And, it’s best to protect your emotions from being burned. So, well done sugar baby for sticking with rule #2 and protcting your heart from being broken by a man old enough to be your real daddy.
9 What I'd Do To Keep Him
Sorry, girls, we’re just prone to feelings after rolling around in the sheets. From love to jealousy, and even fear, we’re more likely to get emotional compared to our male counterparts, even if it’s only a one-night stand… or a sugar-relationship. According to the Journal of Sex Research (we bet you didn’t even know that existed), there is a huge difference in the behaviors of men and women after intimacy. Their study showed that while women prefer to kiss and cuddle after the act, a man’s mind would go to urinating, eating, or sleeping.
Also, women are more bothered by emotional cheating while for men it’s physical cheating they’re more bothered by. Insecurity, obsessive thinking, and a paranoid personality are the three reasons that we feel jealous in a romantic relationship. We’re going to say that this sugar baby probably felt all three if she’s that desperate to keep her sugar daddy all to herself.
8 Cushy Lifestyle. Paid.
‘The house I live in/ I bought it / The car I’m driving / I bought it / I depend on me." If you were around at the turn of the century, you might remember Beyonce before she was Sasha Fierce and part of the all-girls-band, Destiny’s Child that celebrated working women. And, working this girl is.
You must be working hard if you’re able to afford a $150,000 balance bank account when you’re only 19 years old! But, we’re sure that if you asked this Whsiperer, she’d reject the term working girl, because accepting money for being in a relationship is perfectly legal, because it’s not prostitution. I guess if a date offered to buy either a house or the next round of drinks, we’d probably take the house too.
7 It's Just Business
Here’s the scenario. His name is Jim. You glance at the unfamiliar faces crowding the café. You sigh with relief when you see that he looks just like his online picture. He comments on how beautiful you look and hands you an envelope with a wad of cash. If you go on some threads revolving around the sugaring lifestyle you might find comments such as ‘I got into sugaring to pay for rent’ or ‘Nowadays you don’t need a pimp, you just need a computer’.
So, as much as these sugar babies might love to say it’s a ‘relationship’, at the end of the day it’s a relationship that revolves around a business deal. And, when a man hands you wad of cash for your time, yeah we can see how it’s hard to get attached.
6 One Or The Other
Relationships can be a pain in the butt, and to be honest, not every woman wants to be married and start a family. For some, they last thing they want on their table are the obligations of a standard relationship. They don’t have the time outside of school and careers. Or, they don’t have the emotional fervor to want to grow close to someone. After coming out of a long-term relationship, sometimes the only thing you want is physical interaction, and why not do it with perks? Tickets to Hamilton? Rent paid? Designer duds? A successful and cultured man who continuously gushes about how beautiful you are?
A sugar daddy has the potential to offer it all. If you’re a woman who is already attracted to older men and financial stability, it’s easy to see why the thought of a sugar daddy would be preferred to the traditional boyfriend-your-same-age scenario.
5 Can't Beat The Pay
Yep, it’s true. A girl can earn way more than her entry-level salary just by meeting with her sugar daddy a few times per week (or even month). GQ even sat down with a man they dubbed Thurston Von Moneybags to verify that generally, sugar babies ‘settle’ for a $3,000 or $5,000 monthly allowance. That allowance can also be on top of the money he might also shell out for her rent, car, expensive dinners, and college tuition.
Now, imagine if a baby has multiple daddies she meets with each month! She could earn way more than the average entry-level salary that the National Associate of Colleges and Employers projected to be $50,556 in 2016. But, according to websites such as Glassdoor.com, the average entry-level salary in New York is $28,000 with the max only reaching to $50,000.
4 Laid Back Kind Of Work
‘How To tell Your Parents Where The Sugar Is Coming From’ is a real post on the LetsTalkSugar.com blog. And, no it’s not detailing how a girl can be honest to her parents. It’s all about the lie. The article goes into detail about how a sugar baby can lie to her parents about where the extra $10,000 is coming from that she’s dropping into her bank account.
It gives helpful hints such as say, ‘I have a rich boyfriend’, ‘I’ve been saving’, and ‘I have a part time job’. This sugar baby might have read this article and taken the latter advice. We assume that she’s not working, but enjoying the sugaring lifestyle full-time. And, when she accidentally bumps into someone she knows with her sugar daddy, she’ll probably introduce him as her ‘boss’.
3 So Cringy
We wonder if this whisper confession is actually coming from the Playboy Mansion. There have been numerous books written by the playboy bunnies detailing their lack of enthusiasm for sleeping with the 90-year old Hugh Hefner. (Sorry, he was probably only in his 70s at the time.) One such bunny, named Izabella St. James detailed the ritualistic nights when the ‘girlfriends’ would pray for the night to end soon.
Holly Madison, Hugh Hefner’s most famous #1 girlfriend, described Hef as ‘a spoiled kid trapped in the body of an old man.’ And, to think that’s the nicest thing she probably had to say about Hef in her tell-all book, ‘Down the Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny’. I guess sleeping with a man 50 years your senior is not something that every woman enjoys.
2 A Double Life
Maybe, it would just be better if the guy picked her up from her parents’ house. The sugar daddy sat down on the family’s couch and bonded with her dad about their mutual love of golf. Then, he made promises that he’d have her back before 10pm with $500 in her pocket. Or, maybe when the girl tells her parents that she’s dating guys old enough to be her dad (or grandpa) to be able to pay off her college tuition - they’re okay with it, because you know they didn’t sign the lease for her new car, so some random guy she met on the internet may as well.
Now, at least their daughter has them and friends to check in with her throughout the date, just to make sure she doesn’t land in a river somewhere.
1 Grandma's Support
Most likely this grandma didn’t like her granddaughter’s boyfriends to begin with. That’s understandable as it takes awhile for guys to mature into men. There is also the idea that it’s an easy way to pay for college and avoid paying off college debt and interest rates for the next 30 years. Some sugar babies have admitted to earning $12,000 per month just from sugaring.
One sugar baby even admitted to Refinery29 that after she complained of wanting to leave her retail job for her sugar daddy; he replied with, “I’ll take care of you until you find out what you want to do with your life. How about I give you $25,000? Would that be okay for you to take a couple of months off?” She later found out through Google that he was a millionaire. Yep, grandma might prefer a settled billionaire to penniless frat boy.
Sources: PsychologyToday.com, TheRedandBlack.com, Cosmopolitan.com, USAToday.com, StudentLoanHero.com, MarieClaire.com, BrainBlogger.com, ScienficNordic.com, Time.com, Glassdoor.com, HuffingtonPost.com, LetsTalkSugar.com, Therichest.com, PsychologyToday.com