It’s not a topic that is talked about all that much in society today, however, the idea of men taking their wife’s last name shouldn’t be so taboo. In this day and age, many women feel as if they don’t have a choice in the matter. Once they decide to get married, it means they will be giving up their last name. Some women may even feel like they are giving up a part of themselves in the process.
Society tries to make tradition always appear positive. They create mugs with cute sayings like, “He stole my heart, so I’m stealing his last name.” It’s just assumed that girls have to change their name, even if they don’t want to.
I fully understand that some women cannot wait to take their husband’s last name. They view it as a privilege and a symbol of joining his family. However, others can’t stand the idea of giving up the name they’ve had their entire life. Maybe they are invested in their career, or their kids, or simply attached to their family heritage. Whatever the case may be, it’s interesting to think about and challenge tradition. Often times the solution would be for the wife just to keep her last name, but some couples wanted to take it a step further. Often times couples want to share the same name as their kids and that couldn’t happen if they both kept their own last names. A solution to this is for the guy to take his wife’s last name, and here are 15 confessions of men who did just that.
15 Mr. And Mrs. Ramsbottom
People can be mean and bullying usually starts extremely young these days. If someone has a last name that sounds weird or has an embarrassing word like "bottom" in it, it’s almost guaranteed that they will get made fun of. If a guy has lived his entire life hating his name because it caused bullies to tease and make fun of him, why on earth would he want to pass that on to his children?
Even my extremely traditional and conservative friends would consider keeping their own last name if their husband had a super terrible one. It just doesn’t make sense to take an ugly and embarrassing last name when you don’t have to. That’s the thing about tradition, it usually goes without a challenge, but there are times where challenging tradition is actually really practical. Like, when it comes to saving your future children from the inevitable bullying they would receive with the guy's last name.
14 Down With Tradition
While tradition can be nice and comforting at times, it can also be very controlling. People can feel confined by the bounds of tradition and strive for freedom. When a man decides to take his wife’s last name, that is one step towards the change in tradition that he wants to see. It’s always nice to see men who are not afraid or intimidated by strong women, and one of the biggest signs of that is when he is not only willing but excited to take her last name.
In order to break tradition, the social norm of the time has to change. When it comes to marriage and family values and last names, it’s always been expected for the woman to take her husband’s last name. However, the more men that begin taking their wife’s last name, the more common the practice will seem. Pretty soon we will be on our way to a society where names being passed along matriarchal lines won’t be weird at all.
13 Still A Man
Deciding who has a cooler last name is usually up to personal preference, however, it’s hard to argue with a name like Champion. In my opinion, you have people with really bad last names, people with very average last names, and then the lucky few who have really cool or pretty last names. Still, this judging is mostly just preference, but if a guy prefers his wife’s name over his, he should have every right to take hers.
It’s very doubtful that anyone would think Hamilton is a terrible last name. It’s very average, but this guy may have gone his whole life thinking he had a really boring last name. Champion, on the other hand, is a name for winners. So if he had the opportunity to switch, he should go for it. Tradition, like Hamilton, can also be boring. So he decided to go against the social norms and be a Champion.
12 Deadbeat Dad
Traditionally, children are given the last name of their father. Even if their parents are not married or even together, the dad usually wants his last name on the birth certificate. However, many children, unfortunately, suffer from their fathers walking out on the family. Some boys never know what it’s like to have a father in their life. They may feel abandoned by this person who never did a single thing for them.
When it comes to getting married and passing on your family name, it should be something you are proud of: a name you are excited to give to your wife and kids. If this isn’t the case, and all you want is to cut ties with your last name, then taking your wife’s may be the perfect solution for you guys. There is something very refreshing when you let go of baggage that feels like it has been weighing you down for too long.
11 Foreign Is Better
There is a certain je ne sais quoi that foreigners have that others don’t. Foreign things are a little more sophisticated, a little more intriguing, and usually way cooler. When it comes to names, ones that sound foreign to us seem to roll off the tongue better. It sounds different and reminds us of things we aren’t used to.
Compared to foreign names, generic ones can appear to be extremely boring, and why would you want a boring name, when it would mean you would be giving up a super cool one? When the option of taking your wife’s last name becomes more prevalent in society, more people will realize the freedom they have to choose what they want, instead of what they feel like they have to. As long as your wife likes her last name and doesn’t mind keeping it, a man’s generic name does not need to be passed down anymore.
10 Did It For The Kids
Kids always seem to make things just a little more complicated, especially when there are three of them. Once children start school and are fully aware their name, it does become difficult to tell them they need to change their name. They might not want to or even understand why they are changing their name. For a couple who wants to have the same last name as their children, it could pose extreme difficulties.
Some may not have even thought of allowing the husband to take his wife’s last name, but when you have a blended family, last names are usually a little random. Children either have their mom’s last name or their dad’s last name or their step dad’s last name. The options seem to become endless and when you are joining lives with someone, it might be nice to have one thing simple like a common last name.
9 Her Family Line Lives On
I think a lot of times people and husbands, in general, overlook the gravity of a woman giving up her last name. It is always viewed as a privilege and something she should want to do and be so grateful for. However, often times nobody asks the woman if she wants to give up her name. They never ask if she likes her last name or feels super attached to it. Even when couples are having children they always say they want a son to carry on the family name. It’s a little sexist when you think about it.
What if a family has all girls? Is that family just destined for their family line to die off? If a woman wants to keep her family line alive, she 100 percent can. She simply needs to find a husband who would be willing to take her last name. Since it’s not a normal tradition yet, the gesture would be super meaningful and could be a beautiful start to a marriage.
8 He Was Not A Fan
Of course, there are many women who never become super attached to their last name. Maybe they personally got made fun of for it, or maybe they just weren’t a fan of how it sounded. For them, it’s probably not a big deal at all when they are expected to take their husband’s last name. It might be a fun little tradition that seems cool and excites them. However, what happens when the roles are reversed and the guy hates his last name?
In this case, he needs to find a girl that is not super stuck in tradition. If he hates his last name and never liked the way it sounded, it would make sense to see how his wife would feel about giving him hers. It’s all about creating a dialogue where anti-traditional options are available for couples and not some taboo that society will look down upon.
7 Doctor Wife
If you get married a little later in life, after both of you are working and established in your careers, it becomes a bigger challenge to change last names. Let’s say the woman was an author and has a ton of books published in her last name, or maybe she is a journalist and is known for her work reporting. Either way, it would be a major setback in her career to try to change her last name because she would no longer be recognized or given the credit she deserves.
This is simply a practical example of why changing a woman’s last should not always be the set in stone mindset. Other factors come into play that might make it a difficult transition. And, if her husband has no issues or setbacks when it comes to changing his last name, it could be the perfect solution for some couples.
6 Family Issues?
It’s really sad to understand, but there are some families that disown their children. Either they don’t approve of their lifestyle, their life choices, or they simply don’t want you around anymore. I personally could never imagine a family being so heartless and cruel, but the tough reality of the matter is that it happens, and more often than we like to think.
Why on earth would a man want to keep the last name that came from a family that betrayed him? If his last name is tied to so much pain and hurt, it seems like it would just be more painful to give that name to your wife and keep it alive through your family. His family doesn’t really deserve that recognition. However, if her family is loving and kind and welcomes you with open arms, that appears to be a family worth being apart of, and taking her last name would be an outward representation of that.
5 Everybody Wants To Be A Hero
Some guys don’t have this massive aversion to their name, but the idea of taking their wife’s last name is exciting. Some guys are super into superheroes and television shows. The idea of being a superhero would be like a childhood dream come true. What if taking your wife’s last name would give you that chance? Wouldn’t you go for it?
I know what you're thinking, does this guy really want to be named after a superhero for his entire life? Perhaps his name is Clark and he is marrying a girl who has the last name of Kent. Taking her last name would make him Clark Kent, arguably one of the coolest superheroes of all time. However, with a superhero name comes a superhero level of responsibility. Everywhere he goes, and everyone he introduces himself to will have a preconceived idea about him because he is a reminder of a superhero. He might not live up to the hype.
4 She Didn't Even Need To Ask
Although she didn’t have to ask him, there’s a good chance that she wanted him to take her last name if they were having a discussion about it. Often times, the woman who doesn't care about changing their last name never think twice about it. They simply get married, do the legal paperwork, and officially have a legally changed name. However, other girls think about changing their last name all of the time. Some people, I’m sure, feel stronger about it than others, but usually, if it’s a topic of discussion it’s already bordering anti-traditional.
If her husband decided to take her last name after they got married, it probably means that she didn’t want to give up her last name and take his when they got married. They were most likely both keeping their own names for a while until her husband decided to take hers. Maybe she was fine having separate names, and he decided otherwise.
3 Mine Was Better!
It must be nice to know you have an awesome last name that other people are jealous of. I wish I could say my name was desired like that but for most of us, our last names are pretty average. However, even with average last names, some can be better than others. When a girl starts dating a guy, and they become serious, the idea of marriage and starting a life together become real possibilities.
If a guy you are dating or engaged to makes it known from the beginning that he loves your last name and thinks it’s awesome, it is going to plant the seed in the women's head about keeping her last name. Afterall, why would you change a name that everyone is saying is so awesome? The great thing is that you don’t have to. This couple realized that the woman’s last name was awesome, they both loved it, and so they decided to go with her last name as the start of their new little family.
2 Parents Don't Approve
Unfortunately, some parents are extremely traditional, and simply don’t like the idea of change. No matter what the reason is, even if it was a really good one, some people are under the impression that the wife takes the husband’s last name no matter what. It actually comes off as offensive to some people if the girl refuses to take her husband’s last name. It’s viewed as disrespectful and rejecting his family in a way.
If a guy comes from a family who thinks this way, it would be difficult enough for them to accept the fact that his wife was keeping her last name and not taking theirs, but the idea of their son taking his wife’s last name is probably much worse. Unfortunately, it is going to take a while for families to become progressive about these non-traditional ideas, and in the meantime family members will be hurt and disowned. Not being accepted by your family is a terrible feeling, especially when you don’t think you did anything wrong.
1 A Fresh Start
It’s interesting when a guy knows he doesn’t want to keep his last name but is willing to take his wife’s last name. The idea of picking out a new name together and starting fresh with their own little family is a beautiful idea, but it seems like he might not want to keep his last name because he wants a fresh start in life. Maybe he was never attached to it, or maybe it reminds him of bad childhood memories, but being so open and flexible when it comes to the traditions of marriage is a really unique worldview.
Hopefully, he finds a girl that appreciates his progressive nature and is excited to either give her name to him or pick out a new one together. As hard as it can be to go against what societal traditions tell us to do, it can also be a truly freeing experience.
Sources: TheBerry.com, Whisper.sh