No one ever said being a parent was easy. And if they did, they totally lied.
Those early months with a newborn baby can be extremely trying for a new mom. The sleep deprivation and crying can easily get to anyone. In the middle of the night when you’re going on two hours of sleep and trying to get the baby back to sleep, not so nice thoughts can slip into your mind. Sometimes it has to do with just leaving the baby crying and going back to sleep. Other times moms think about how they wish they didn’t have a baby right now. Although when morning comes and that mom gets a little more sleep, they totally take back what they thought when they were sleep deprived.
Well, there are some moms who wake up in the morning and don’t take back what thought the night before. They have actually had the thought for a while and still think those same thoughts. Although who are they going to tell? Sometimes you need to get it off your chest, and a whisper confession is one way that some women have gone about confessing why they don’t want their kids anymore.
15 Single Mom Life
Being a parent is a lot of hard work. But being a single parent takes even more sacrifice and commitment. Being a single mom isn’t necessarily something many women plan, but it happens all the time. Sometimes you don’t know who the father is and sometimes the father decides he doesn’t want to be involved. Whatever the case, it’s never easy.
Trying to be a mom and dad for your child is difficult. There is something that a dad can give their child that a mom can’t. This mom understands that she can’t give him all that he deserves. But even if you can’t give him everything he needs, make sure you are just doing the best you can do.
14 Misses Old Life
Depending on your old lifestyle, there is no way that you can keep up with your old life after you have a baby. While this whisper still obsesses over her old life, at least she knows that it’s best not to get your baby involved in your old life. I mean you probably shouldn’t have your kids at wild parties or keep them out until all hours of the morning.
Babies will change your life. And you definitely need to think about whether or not you’re ready to give up your old life before you decide to have kids. It’s okay to think about your old life even if you’re a mom as long as you are still doing what’s best for your kids.
13 I Hate It
A lot of people say that as soon as you see your baby that you will immediately bond with them. I’ve heard that it’s love at first sight. But that’s not true for everyone. We need to stop spreading lies that mothers will automatically bond with their baby because we don’t need moms to feel bad if that doesn’t happen for them.
Being a mom is also completely different than anything else you will ever do. If you aren’t prepared and you aren’t ready, there’s a very real possibility that you will hate being a mom. This is why it’s okay for some women to not want children. Being a mom is not a job for everyone.
12 Missing The Simple Life
No argument here about life being more complicated with kids. When you have a baby, you are not the most important person anymore. You now have another life that you have to put before yours. Their need will come first and their wants are more important. They don’t usually sleep which makes you sacrifice your precious sleep hours. They are messy and require lots of extra clothes changes and loads of laundry. There is no longer a quick trip to the grocery store when you have a baby.
Yes, life without kids is much more simple. But just imagine all the joy and meaning your kids bring to your life!
11 Skin Deep
Oh you and me both girl! And probably millions of other mothers around the world. You literally make a baby inside of you. Your hormones go crazy. Your organs move around to make way for your growing baby. As you start to get bigger, you might get stretch marks or many other scars. You will probably put on weight that you will want to try and lose once you deliver the baby.
Yes, kids definitely do a number on their mom’s body. And sometimes it will kind of go back to what it was before, and sometimes it will not resemble your old body a little bit. Instead of focusing on what your child took from you, try to think of all the things they gave you.
10 Goodbye Social Life
When kids come into your life, a lot of things change. Most of the time you won’t be able to continue doing the same things you were doing before. But I must argue that having kids doesn’t mean you have to give up your social life — but it might look a little different. If you want to party every night and sleep in late, then yes, you probably do need to give that up.
If you blame your kids for giving up your social life then you will become like this woman and come to resent your kids and your marriage. Instead of blaming them for having to give up your social life, think about everything they have given you?
9 Too Much Pressure
Not all mother’s feel love for their child as soon as they’re born, and that’s okay. One of the main reasons that moms don’t feel immediate love for their child is due to postpartum depression. Postpartum depression is very real and it can cause real problems. Especially if you were pressured into a choice that you didn’t want to make in the first place.
Any mom who has suffered from PPD knows that it can make it even harder to bond with her newborn. But even if she didn’t want to abort her baby and didn’t want to be a mother yet, there is always the option of adoption. Not everyone is cut out to be a mom, and that's okay too.
8 Sacrifice Other Relationships
Babies are a big responsibility. They take a lot of extra time and you have to give up so much to have a child. Some people are ready for that and welcome giving up anything just to have a baby. It’s worth it to give up certain things in order to have the love of your own baby.
But if you don’t think you are ready for that sacrifice, it’s okay to opt for adoption. There are so many people who want to adopt a child and who will give them a great home. If you do decide to keep your baby, make sure you are doing it for you and not because someone talked you into it or you might end up resenting your child.
7 He's Too Good
This is definitely one I can understand. Babies are so amazing and innocent. They are born to love and to be compassionate. To watch them grow up and interact when they are babies and toddlers is such a site to see. They don’t know evil and hate. They have no idea about war. As parents, we want to protect them from everything — especially from the awful things in this world.
Regardless of how hard we try, we will never be able to fully protect them from it all. Instead, we need to teach them how to overcome all the hate and to keep on loving in the midst of all the chaos in the world.
6 Wanted A Different Life
A lot of Whispers about women regretting having children are due to the fact that they miss their social life or wish their life was different. No one is denying that life with kids is going to be different than your former life. As much as you try, I don’t think many women are able to keep up their old social life and party schedule and still be an attentive parent.
Having kids is a decision that shouldn’t be taken lightly. Yes kids are cute and fun. They can bring so much joy to your life. But there is so much more to motherhood once you are really in it. It's a full time job; a complete dedication of everything we women have to offer.
5 No More Sleep
Sleep is a funny thing. When we’re younger we fight naps and do anything to stay awake. When we’re teenagers we sleep as much as we can, even when we don’t need it. And then we willingly decide to become parents and sacrifice our sleep to take care of a baby. Some people do good with little sleep. But that is not me.
Sleep deprivation can make a parent think really bad thoughts. It can also contribute to postpartum depression. I can’t lie and say that you won’t be sleep deprived, because you will. I guess the only thing I can say is that it does get better, and that little life is so worth it.
4 I Feel So Trapped
I don’t think trapped is the emotion any mother wants to be feeling toward her child. Having a child is an adjustment for any mother. But it definitely takes it’s toll on a young mother. Having a child means making big adjustments to your life. You will change your sleeping habits, your social life, and even your eating habits.
A new mom often gets some sort of maternity leave from her work. If this Whisper was young enough to be in college or even high school, that means they really had to make some changes to their life. Regardless of the situation, there is room to learn and to make adjustments. Having a baby young is not the end of the world.
3 So Many Sacrifices
Dropping out of school in order to take care of your child is definitely a huge sacrifice to make. Even if you knew it would be worth it, I’m sure you’ll never stop wondering what you could have done if you would have been able to finish school. There is bound to be some resentment.
Feeling guilty for having those thoughts is a good sign, though. Most importantly, this Whisper needs to remember that this isn’t the end of her life, it’s only the beginning; there is so much more she has left to accomplish if she really puts her mind to it. And many women end up going back to school with young children. No one would say it's easy, but it has been done time and time again.
2 Babies Are Hard Work
All moms make a ton of sacrifices for their children. Not just carrying them and giving birth to them, but also everything they do to care for them to the best of their abilities. Having a special needs child is even harder. They’re different and they usually require more work. Sometimes they even require extra money for their medical bills or therapy.
All moms go through rough patches, and it’s okay to have doubts about your ability to be a good mom. But never forget that you have what it takes to be everything that your child needs. Move past the bad thoughts and feelings, and be there to support your child in whatever they need.
1 Oh No! A Boy...
There are a lot of women who hope to have a specific gender. Some want a boy so they can go hunting or fishing with them. Others want a girl so they can dress them up with bows and sparkles. As a mom of a boy and a girl I want to say that you don’t know what your child’s personality is going to be. You very well might get a girl who enjoys doing “boyish” things and vice versa.
Hating your baby just because they are the wrong gender is not really a great way to start off your relationship with your child. My hope for this mother is that they are able to get over their feelings and have a great relationship.