Talking about breastfeeding is all the rage right now. Questions pop up in every day conversations about breastfed or bottle fed. While there is no right or wrong answer, there are some moms who seem to think there is only one correct answer — that breastfeeding is the only way. Those moms believe that breastfeeding is superior and that formula is poison, and they can be very outspoken about their opinions.
Because of those opinions, moms who hate breastfeeding are being forced to be quiet or cover up their hate of breastfeeding. Moms are hating breastfeeding but continuing to breastfeed because they think there are magical health benefits. Moms are resenting the whole act of breastfeeding while secretly wishing their milk would dry up. If their milk dried up on it’s own, they would suddenly have an excuse. It’s not like they were being selfish and just chose not to breastfeed.
Instead of speaking out about how breastfeeding is wonderful and amazing, maybe moms should start speaking the truth — that breastfeeding isn’t all rainbows and butterflies. Breastfeeding can hurt. Breastfeeding puts pressure on the mom as the sole provider of food. Breastfeeding makes mom feel like their sole purpose is making milk. Maybe then women wouldn’t have to hide the fact that they absolutely hate breastfeeding.
Well this one is a little surprising. Usually you expect that when someone hates doing something, that they will stop doing it. But motherhood makes us do funny things. This mom clearly thinks breastfeeding sucks, but she is continuing to nurse her baby. Who knows the real reason why she is continuing to breastfeed even when she hates it.
If I were to guess, I would say that it might have to do with the crazy amount of pressure that is placed on moms to breastfeed. There are some people who are very judgmental when other moms don’t breastfeed and I think it has placed pressure on moms to breastfeed so they don’t get judged. Maybe that’s why, maybe not. But kudos for this mom for sticking to it, I guess?
14It's So Expensive
To be honest, this Whisper sounds a lot like me. I don’t like saying that I hated breastfeeding because I know there are some women who can’t, but I definitely won’t lie and say I loved it. When I was breastfeeding and trying to convince myself to just switch to formula already, the cost of formula was definitely a factor for us.
I’m sure this mom doesn’t have a ton of extra money to switch to formula even if she hates it. But at what point does the stress start to turn you into a resentful mother? Is it worth it to keep breastfeeding even when you hate it? If a mother is unhappy and miserable, should she still have to continue to breastfeed? If someone can’t afford it, they may not have another choice!
13Are They Bad Parents?
I have been a working mom with a newborn, and I have been a stay at home mom with a newborn. When it comes to breastfeeding, those are very two different experiences. Believe it or not, being able to stay home with your baby helps tremendously with being able to breastfeed. My work had a ton of young mothers and a dedicated pumping room which was wonderful. But I still had to stop working every 3 hours to pump for 30 minutes. Pumping is awful and it was impossible to get all my work done when I have to stop and pump. And I didn’t even work 100 hours like this mom!
Should moms instead be proud of this mom for being willing to work 100 hours a week to support her child? Or is working so much overboard? Is she neglecting her baby and her motherly duty to breastfeed her baby?
12Will The Milk Dry Up?
Here we are again with another mom talking about being judged. I’m starting to see a trend here. Who are the people judging moms for not breastfeeding and what is the reasoning? Breastfeeding can be hard and every mom has her own experience. This mom is hoping her milk drys up just so she has an excuse to stop breastfeeding in case any of the mom judgers come after her.
One on hand, should this mom be grateful that she has the ability to breastfeed her baby? There are a lot of moms who wish they could breastfeed their baby but cannot for one reason or another. Do some moms have a right to judge? Either way, not enjoying breastfeeding is completely okay, and this mom should know that she doesn’t have to love it.
11Going On One Hour Of Sleep
Oh the joys of breastfeeding. I remember it so clearly. My daughter hated sleeping, or she loved nursing — not sure which one it was. In the early days she would eat every 2 hours, including throughout the night. Although it would take her at least an hour to nurse, so I was lucky to get an hour of uninterrupted sleep.
And when you are exclusively nursing, no one else can feed the baby. It can sometimes feel like you are doing it all by yourself. Sometimes it’s so easy to hate breastfeeding — to resent breastfeeding. You begin to think that if only you could formula feed, you could get extra sleep and then someone else could actually feed the baby. No one said motherhood was easy, whether you’re breastfeeding or not.
10The Hate Is Ridiculous
I can probably count on one hand the amount of women I knew who didn’t even try breastfeeding, and instead went straight to formula feeding. Whether it’s because they don’t want to be judged or because there aren’t very many moms who do that, I will never know. But it does seem like most moms have intentions of breastfeeding when their baby is born. There are a variety of reasons why breastfeeding doesn’t always work out. Some moms go back to work early and can’t keep up. Some moms dry up. Other moms just realize how hard it really is.
Breastfeeding is said to help the weight slide right off, although I never noticed a difference. There are also said to be many health benefits. So why would a mom not even attempt to try breastfeed?
9The Interest Isn't There
So here is another mom who had no intention of breastfeeding — maybe it’s more common than I thought. Do most moms have some inner calling to want to breastfeed? Apparently not all moms, if any. More and more women are choosing formula every day for their babies. Yet why are moms still being judged for choosing to formula feed their baby? And are women really being judged or do they just feel bad about not breastfeeding so they think they’re being judged?
Breastfeeding is a personal choice and it’s different for each family. Someone’s choice to breastfeed or not to breastfeed shouldn’t be discussed by other people. It doesn’t affect them at all, and therefore shouldn’t be their concern. Hopefully soon moms will stop being judged for all their choices!
8It's Taking Everything Away
When you’re spending so much time breastfeeding your baby, it can make you feel like your only purpose is to provide milk for them. Maybe you enjoyed going out with friends, playing sports, or taking an art class before you got pregnant. And now you’re just committed to breastfeeding your baby. It can definitely make you feel like you’re not the same person you used to be.
And if someone else is expecting you to breastfeed, such as a husband or boyfriend, it can put pressure on you. If a mother is not on board to breastfeed and if she doesn’t have the desire to breastfeed, there shouldn’t be anyone else who forces her to breastfeed. Hopefully she won’t resent her boyfriend for making her breastfeed when she doesn’t enjoy it at all.
This mom is right, breastfeeding hurts. Then you have those people who love breastfeeding who say that breastfeeding shouldn’t hurt and it means you are doing it wrong. I definitely don’t know everything about breastfeeding, but I don’t know a single person who breastfed that said it didn’t hurt at all. I mean, getting used to a tiny mouth sucking on you isn’t going to feel like rainbows and butterflies.
Maybe this mom was hoping to work past the pain because she heard that it will help her bond with the baby. Some moms never feel that bond from breastfeeding, and there is nothing wrong with that. There shouldn’t be pressure on moms to breastfeed because they need to feel a bond with their baby. Even if a mom doesn’t breastfeed, she can bond with their baby just the same.
Moms have been breastfeeding for forever. It’s just something that moms do — it’s basically an expectation now. But what happens when a mom can’t breastfeed? Or maybe she doesn’t want to? Well most of the time, she is meant to feel like a failure. This is what moms do and if you can’t do it, you should feel bad.
I have heard from mom after mom how bad they feel that they hate breastfeeding or that they aren’t producing enough milk. This is what they’re supposed to do and they can’t even do that right. Well how about the fact that they’re still caring for a new baby. They’re sacrificing their sleep. They’re skipping meals. And if they can’t breastfeed, or if they hate breastfeeding, they definitely shouldn’t feel like a bad mom.
5I Hate Breastfeeding
Well we don’t really have to wonder what this mom is thinking. She hates breastfeeding. I get it. Maybe she’s just going through a hard time right now and doesn’t feel like breastfeeding. Or maybe she just doesn’t like it and never has. Maybe she wishes she could stop but can’t for one reason or another.
Her body probably feels like it belongs to her baby right now. If you are a new mom who is exclusively breastfeeding, you are basically at your baby’s beck and call. And if you aren’t pumping, you are the only person that baby needs. They need you to feed them. So unless you pump or give them formula, they need you. It’s no wonder why this mom is feeling like she just wants her body back and hates breastfeeding so much.
4It's Happy News
Most of the time, moms are sad when their milk dries up. There are even moms who dread the thought of having to wean their baby from breastfeeding. But when you hate breastfeeding, not being able to breastfeed can be good news! You no longer have to continue breastfeeding, but you have an excuse for stopping. You don’t have to tell people that you stopped breastfeeding because you hated it. That would make you seem like a selfish mother and you would probably get judged.
Maybe this mother was hoping and praying that her breastmilk would dry up. And I guess it’s lucky for her that it did. But I wonder if mothers should have to hope their breastmilk dries up so they have an excuse to stop breastfeeding? Shouldn’t they be able to stop simply because they hate it?
3Stressed And Tired
Breastfeeding is extremely stressful whether you are a first time mom or not. But it can be even more so if it’s your first time breastfeeding. First of all, it doesn’t feel the greatest. It also put an extremely high amount of pressure on you as a new mom. You just grew a baby in you and gave birth to them, and now it’s basically your sole responsibility to keep them fed!
While there are a couple tricks for knowing if your baby is getting enough milk, a mom is still going to worry. It’s just in our nature. We are breastfeeding because it’s supposedly the best thing for our baby, yet we don’t even know if were doing it right or if they’re getting enough! Breastfeeding is definitely hard.
2Don't Be Jealous
It seems as though it’s obvious that every mom will breastfeed or that every mom wants to. But that’s not always the case. If a mom does want to breastfeed, that is her choice. And if she doesn’t want to breastfeed, that is also her choice. I mean of course I think it should be discussed with a significant other or boyfriend, but ultimately I don’t think anyone should be pressuring a mom into breastfeeding.
Maybe some moms truly believe that it’s the best choice for their baby and some moms might even bond with their baby more because of breastfeeding. But if a mom hates breastfeeding, she definitely isn’t going to bond with her baby while breastfeeding. In fact, it might even cause her to resent the whole situation completely.
1It's Not Magical Or Amazing
It’s hard to deny the health benefits of breastmilk. But formula is a great choice for moms who can’t — or don’t want to breastfeed. It can sometimes be a superior choice based on the situation. Maybe the health benefits alone are a good reason to breastfeed, and maybe it’s not. If a mom hates breastfeeding, is it enough to keep her happy? Is it enough to keep her from resenting it all?
This mom has obviously come to resent the act of breastfeeding altogether. “Breastfeeding is not magical or amazing. There’s no special bond. It hurst like hell and I hate it.” While this mom clearly hates breastfeeding, hopefully she can get through all that resentment eventually. As long as she is not turning that resentment toward her baby, maybe the health benefits are enough to keep breastfeeding in her situation.
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