Giving a child up for adoption is one of the most selfless acts a person can do. The majority of people who do decide to give up a baby for adoption usually do so because they know that it is the best decision for themselves, and for the child. They may not have been in a position to raise a child, or perhaps they feared that they were not going to be good parents. Whatever the reason, giving up a baby for adoption is never an easy decision to make. Even though moms know that it is the best option, they can still have a difficult time coming to grips with their decision after the fact. They may regret giving their baby up for the rest of their lives, and constantly wonder what type of life their child has.
The following confessions from moms who regret giving up their child for adoption prove how hard it is to live with the decision that they made. They reveal the sadness, regret, guilt and fear that many parents experience when they allow their baby to be adopted. They also highlight that a child is never far from the hearts and minds of their biological mother.
15 A Painful Decision
We all do things that we regret, and sometimes, the decisions that we make can haunt us. Giving up a baby for adoption has to be the most haunting choice that a person can ever make. Imagine carrying a baby for nine months, giving birth to him, and then never having the chance to get to know him? When I was pregnant with both of my children, I couldn’t wait to meet them. With every movement I felt, I wondered about what they looked like, what their personalities would be like… I will never forget looking into their eyes when they were born and feeling this overwhelming sense of pride and unconditional love sweeping over me. I can’t imagine what a mother who gives a child up for adoption feels knowing that she never had, or will have, the opportunity to know the child she created.
14 The Last One
So, this mom had two different children with two different men, and she gave both of her babies up for adoption. The kicker here, though, is that she only regrets giving up the last child. Why? How could she only regret giving up one and not the other? Is it because she really didn’t like the father of the first child? Does that make her care less about that child? Or, is she really in love with the father of her last child, and she wonders if keeping the baby would make things different for them? I really don’t understand how she could only regret giving up one and not the other. I would think that she would feel as much remorse for giving up the first child as she does for giving up the second one. Don’t you agree?
13 Could She Win?
This is another confession that baffles me. This mother gave her baby over to her boyfriend as soon as he was born. Given the fact that she keeps getting arrested now, one has to assume that the reason she gave her child up for adoption is because she was not able to provide a decent life for him. Now that she has allowed her boyfriend to adopt the baby, she regrets it, but she says she can’t do anything about it because she keeps getting arrested? Hmm… You would think that if she regretted her decision and she really wanted to try to get her son back that maybe she would clean up her act and try to get her life in order. This one makes me literally shake my head. Hopefully she can fix her own life first and then worry about spending more time with her son.
12 Three Traumas, One Regret
This I don’t get at all. I was actually dumfounded when I read this confession. I totally understand that a miscarriage and giving a baby up for adoption have to be incredibly painful, but my question is this: How can this mother not feel any remorse about having an abortion? I mean, she says that she still cries about the miscarriage and the adoption, so why wouldn’t she still cry about the abortion? How could it possibly not affect her negatively? It just doesn’t make any sense. I am trying to really get into her head and understand her logic, but her confession just baffles me. Losing a baby, no matter how it is lost, has got to be painful. I just can’t fathom how a miscarriage and an adoption have her so upset, but an abortion doesn’t. Am I the only one who is perplexed?
11 The Daily Reminder
Getting a positive pregnancy result is scary for any woman, even those who are trying to get pregnant. There are so many things that rush through her head as she realizes that she is going to be responsible for another person’s life. If a woman wasn’t trying to get pregnant, or is not in the situation to have a baby, the fear she feels is even greater. This mother’s confession proves just that. Not only were her and her boyfriend afraid of having a child, but she also wanted to please her parents. After giving her baby up for adoption, she is now working with children, which only compounds the regret that she feels. Every day she is reminded of the child she gave up. I can’t even imagine how her decision has affected her life.
10 A Painful Past
I can’t even begin to imagine the horrors that this woman has been through. She was repeatedly raped, and she ended up getting pregnant twice, as a result. She chose to abort one of the pregnancies, but decided to have her other baby adopted. She says that she regrets the adoption more than the abortion. Now, I have never been in this situation, or anything even remotely close to it, so it’s hard for me to understand how she was and is feeling. However, I still have to wonder how she regrets the adoption more than the abortion. Maybe it’s because she actually carried the baby she allowed to be adopted to full-term, and gave birth? And now the baby is with her aunt, so maybe she gets to see him or her? Whatever the case may be, I do not envy this woman in the slightest.
9 Too Young, Too Soon
A lot of moms are under the assumption that bonding with their baby is something that happens immediately. In truth, however, it isn’t always that simple. Upon becoming a mother, there’s a lot of adjustments that need to be made. As such, bonding can be difficult and take some time, even for women who have more life experience. Is fear of not bonding a reason to give a child up for adoption? This mother’s whisper confession clearly showcases that it may not be. She allowed her baby to be adopted for fear that she wouldn’t bond with him or her, but in retrospect, she realizes that she should have tried harder and regrets the decision that she made. At her young age, it was likely very difficult to make such a big decision. She must live in anguish.
8 Left Or Right?
This mother’s confession really puts it in the face of those who pass judgment on people who give a child up for adoption. It is never, ever an easy decision to make. Moms out there, just imagine how heartbroken you would be if you admitted that someone else would be a better mother to your child than you? Imagine another woman comforting your baby, tucking her in at night, experiencing all of those milestone events, and making all of those wonderful, lifelong memories with your child. And, the reason that someone else is having all of those experiences with your child is because YOU admitted that you were not fit to be a mother. I know that if it were me, I would be absolutely devastated. Adoption has to be one of the hardest decisions to make.
7 Regret Cuts Deep
Being a mother means being selfless. Moms put their children above themselves, no matter what. On top of that, the only person’s opinion of them that really matters is their child’s. This mom decided to give up her baby for adoption because she was selfish and worried about what other people would think of her. Now, because of her concern of selfishness and her concern of what other people would think of her, she lives with constant regret. Two years after giving up her baby, she still feels remorse, and now she loathes herself for the decision that she made. That has to be the hardest thing to deal with. This biological mother will likely feel regret and guilt for the rest of her life. Hopefully she is able to come to terms with her decision.
6 With Arms Wide Open
I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for a mother to know that her child is calling someone else "mom;" that her child has no idea who she is, or what his background is. It has to be absolutely heartbreaking, and something that weighs on her mind constantly. This mother says that she would do anything to have her baby back in her arms, but I can’t help but wonder what she was thinking when she did have him in her arms… Did she put the baby up for adoption because she was being selfish, or was she selfless and allowed him to be adopted because it’s what she thought was best for him? It’s hard to tell, but one thing is for certain: if she had to do it over again, she would have kept the baby. Living with a regret like this is the hardest burden to carry.
5 Empty Space
A lot of mothers who decide to proceed with giving up their babies for adoption end up feeling a lot of regret, and for many different reasons. For some moms, one of their biggest regrets is giving up the privilege of becoming a mother. This mom’s confession clearly illustrates this regret. Despite the fact that she had a baby and had the opportunity to become a mother, she gave that opportunity up when she gave her baby up for adoption. Now, she feels a constant emptiness. She must wonder what could have been, and really regret missing out on all of the experiences that come along with being a mom. One can’t help but wonder if she is going to try to have another baby in the future… Hopefully when she is ready, she will be blessed with another child and the chance to be a mother.
4 Open, Closed
When it comes to adoption, there are two options: closed or open. In the case of the former, the birth mother has no further connections with the child; she does not have any contact with her. With an open adoption, even though the baby legally belongs to the adoptive parents, the mother and child still have contact with one another. I’m not sure which would be more difficult. While yes, it may seem like having a connection with a child that you put up for adoption would be easier than losing all contact, in reality, it might actually be harder. It has to be so difficult to see the child that you grew and birthed being raised by someone else, and not really having a say in her life. I think an open adoption would be harder for me.
A lot of mothers who give children up for adoption do so because they think it’s in the best interest of the child. Perhaps they were very young and immature, maybe they were in a bad financial situation, or they might have been in a bad place mentally. Whatever the reason, when mothers decide to give their baby up for adoption so that the he or she can have a better life, it doesn’t mean that it’s an easy decision to make. This woman’s confession clearly illustrates how selfless giving a child up for adoption is, and how all moms – even those who don’t raise their children – always want what is best for their babies. I commend this mom for putting her child first, even though it probably broke her heart to do so.
2 Rights No More
They say that you shouldn’t regret anything in life, but when you give a baby up for adoption, I don’t think there is any possible way to avoid having regrets. I have two children, and if I gave either one up for adoption, I know that I would regret it for the rest of my life; even if they were adopted as soon as they were born. It has to be one of the most harrowing experiences. Not being able to hold the baby you grew and gave birth to? Not being the one who tucks him in at night? Knowing that someone else is reaping all of the rewards of the life that you created? I can totally understand why this mom is so full of regret. Hopefully she knows that she made the right decision to better the lives of her sons. Hopefully she finds peace in the fact that they are getting the childhood and life they deserve.
1 No Explanation Needed
This confession is so simple, yet so raw and devastating. One can only imagine what must be going through the mind of this mom who gave her child up for adoption. She must wonder what the child is like now and constantly feel remorse for allowing someone else to raise him. As a mother, it’s heartbreaking to picture the child you carried for nine months and gave birth to – your flesh and blood – call someone else “mommy.” My heart aches with sadness for this parent. Her confession truly exemplifies how difficult it is for her to deal with the decision that she made, and how much it has changed her life. Even if the child has the best possible life, she will always wonder about what could have been.