So much changes when we find out that we are pregnant. We start thinking about what the gender of our child will be. We start envisioning what they will look like and pondering what their interests will include. We think about all of the things that we want to do differently with our own children than our parents did with us.
We want the best for our children. We make sure they get into the daycares and preschools where we believe they will be most successful. We spend all of our extra cash on a multitude of extracurricular activities to make sure we encourage our children to cultivate their passions. I know this isn’t true for all parents out there but it is for me. One of the things that my parents got right was that they had my back no matter what. They didn’t always like my choices but they were always there.
It’s shocking to read these Whisper confessions and see just how many parents choose to turn their backs on their own children when they get pregnant as teenagers. No parent is hoping that their daughter will become a pregnant teenager. It seems that teenage pregnancy stifles the personal development and education of some, not all, teenage mothers.
One thing is for sure. Having a baby makes everything more challenging. If we are one of the lucky ones, we have parents who will stand beside us in the midst of turmoil. If we have parents who kick us to the curb or want nothing to do with us, then it is their loss, not ours. Our babies deserve to be born into an atmosphere of love.
15 The Bad Parent
Seems to me like this Mom is fairly reasonable. Hey, most of us have disagreed with our parents’ decisions and told them they were bad parents or that we hated them. We may have believed it in the moment but deep down we know it wasn’t true. By the time this baby is born the Mother will be 18-years-old, or close to it.
She will legally be an adult. She should get a job. She should pay bills. She should take responsibility for her child. Sounds like this teenage Mama is in for a rude awakening when he baby is born and she sees just how many new responsibilities she will need to take on whether she likes it or not.
14 Wishful Thinking
Sure, finding out that our fifteen-year-old daughter is pregnant would be shocking to say the least. What I like about this confession is that the mother is still leaving the choice up to her daughter and is not trying to force her in either direction. This mother hopes her teenage daughter will choose abortion. She is entitled to her opinion even though ultimately the 15-year-old will make the final choice.
At least this mom isn’t calling her daughter stupid or kicking her out of the house. Sounds like this Mama will make her opinion known but ultimately the teenager will be supported no matter what decision she makes. That’s a tough decision for a 15-year-old so hopefully she is being educated on all of her options so that she can make the best, most informed decision, for herself.
13 Raging On The Inside
I can see how some people would be sad to find out the news that their child is pregnant. The Baby Daddy may be a drug addict or woman beater, who knows? What we all know is that children are forever. If our child had big dreams these dreams may need to be put on hold for a while until the baby is born and the Mama is financially and emotionally stable.
If this 14-year-old wanted to be a world traveler, that may need to be put on hold. If she wants to live on campus at college she will need to hand her baby over for adoption or to her family or the Baby Daddy. As far as I know, there aren’t any colleges where young women can live on campus with their children. That would be cool though. Talk about supporting our young Mothers!
Why wait and shock her? This parenting thing is new to this young lady. Up until now her parents probably were financially supporting her. Use this as a teachable moment. This teenager has had to deal with the shock that she is pregnant. She will need to deal with the shock of being a teenager Mom.
How about we take the time to help to prepare her for what things will be like once her baby is born. If this teenagers’ Mother has made up her mind that she will not be financially supporting her daughter and grandchild, then it would be a good idea to let her daughter know. If she does this, she can help her daughter plan for the upcoming changes instead of shocking her. This honest conversation could motivate the daughter to step up, get a job, and prepare for the upcoming changes.
11 A Change Of Heart
That is how I would expect a loving, caring mother to act. She is admitting and dealing with her own feelings of being upset. Those feelings are understandable considering the circumstances. Sounds like this grandma is accepting the fact that her daughter is not perfect and like it or not, there is a new family member on the way. She can turn her back on her daughter and granddaughter or she can embrace the change.
Once she saw the ultrasound she received the extra push to let go of her disappointment and focus on all of the good that comes along with having a new baby in the family. Sounds like this newborn will have a family waiting there for her who will have her back when she needs them the most.
10 Unfortunate Circumstances
There is no need for this Mom to tell her 15-year-old that she had an abortion 8 weeks ago. The mother’s choice for her pregnancy is none of her daughter’s business. However, it would have been interesting if the Mother and daughter were pregnant at the same time. What a crazy family dynamic.
The financial aspect to this confession seems irrelevant because if the daughter has the baby, the young Mom will need to be the one who provides for her new child. At 15-years-old, she is old enough to work and to contribute to the wellbeing of her child. There is also the child support that she could receive if she chooses to do so. Babies are not cheap but where there is a will there is a way.
9 Burning Bridges
How does the Father get to make the decision to kick his pregnant daughter out of the house? Didn’t this Mother have a say in whether or not her daughter could stay or had to go? I would be mad at my Mom too if she let my Dad kick me out of the house. No wonder she isn’t talking to her.
This is most likely the biggest event that has happened in this young woman’s life. Her Mama should have had her back and let her stay in her home. Hopefully this teen has found a loving, supportive environment to live in and raise her baby in. Maybe in the meantime, her parents will take a good look at their actions and have a change of heart. The teenager is their daughter after all.
8 The Supportive Mom
Yay Grandma! We need more supportive Mom’s like you in this world. Isn’t that what we all want? We need to be accepted as we are no matter how many times we mess up. Grandpa is already viewing the baby as a negative presence in the life of the family. He wants to let her live with “it.” Being referred to as an “it” is not a loving way to enter into this world.
This Mom truly wants what’s best for her daughter by supporting her choice. No child wants to be an unwanted child. No woman wants to be forced to keep a baby or forced into an abortion. This teenager may have found herself in a sticky situation but it looks like she is being given the opportunity to make her own choice. Every choice we make effects our lives forever.
7 Failed Expectations
Becoming pregnant as a teenager has nothing to do with how smart someone is. It could have to do with not having impulse control. It could have to do with failed forms of contraception. It could have to do with not truly understanding the consequences of our actions. Sure, physical intimacy is everywhere these days but how many parents actually talk to their kids about doing it.
Hopefully more and more parents are stepping up and speaking up about baby making. The first place we want our children learning about the birds and the bees is in the home. If we open the doors of communication with our own children hopefully they will feel comfortable speaking with us when they have questions or concerns in the future. This young woman may have felt pressured or could have been misinformed about contraception.
6 Dreaming Of The Devil
For those of us who have never heard of a succubus before, it is a lady demon who has sex with men in their sleep. Either this parent is misusing this word or is having wet dreams. I can’t imagine that anyone finding out that their child is pregnant would get them hot and bothered. What is more likely going on here is that this teenager’s parent is refusing to deal with reality and spending her days in bed avoiding her daughter and anyone else whom she may encounter.
We need to be strong for our children. This Mom has her way of dealing with things and that is fine but she also has a responsibility to love and support her daughter. We can choose to sleep our days away but the world still does on around us whether we like it or not.
5 16 Years Later
This picture of the cracked open peanut is priceless. Let me count the ways in which having a baby negatively affects the appearance of the female body. It is true, we are pushing a watermelon out of a hole that is nowhere near that big. Sure, we stretch, but many of us tear. If we don’t deliver vaginally we are left with the C section scar. Let’s not forget the stretch marks.
Not everyone is prone to stretch marks, Hallelujah, but so many women are. Maybe if this Mom would have sat down and showed her daughter all of her pregnancy battle scars this daughter would have thought twice before getting down and dirty while she was still a teenager. I’m not saying that a baby bump isn’t sexy, but some of the after effects of pregnancy aren’t the sexiest.
4 No Anger Here
She is so happy! I wonder how her daughter feels. I wonder how the teenage girl’s father feels. I wonder how the Baby Daddy feels. I wonder how the Baby Daddy’s family feels. So many people’s lives are changed when babies are brought into this world. One thing is for sure, this teenage Mom has a great support system and a cheerleader when it comes to her own Mother.
Having the support from Mom will help to make things less stressful for the baby if this young lady decides to have the child. Mother’s shock you sometimes. We don’t really know all that there is to know about them and how they think and feel. Our Mothers show us part of themselves, hopefully their best selves. Thank goodness this Grandma-to-be surprised her daughter and offered her support rather than criticism.
3 Stupid Choices
Parents, please, please, please, let’s not call our children stupid. We are the ones who help to shape their opinions of themselves. Our children want our approval. They don’t not want to disappoint us. Calling anyone stupid isn’t nice but it’s especially harsh when it is our own child. So, we are entitled for feel disappointed. We are entitled to want more for them than they want for themselves. We are entitled to impart our knowledge upon them so that they can learn from our mistakes.
Becoming pregnant at 17-years-old is not the end of the world. It will be the end of the world as she knows it now but the Mama and her baby will create a new world together. Things seem to work themselves out in mysterious ways. This teenager isn’t stupid, she made a mistake. We have all made mistakes. They help us to learn right from wrong and to grow as humans.
2 The Adult Life
That’s just so cold. How we react to unplanned and stressful situations says a lot about who we are. Sure this girl made a mistake and has an unplanned pregnancy. This situation isn’t ideal but it is what it is. This teenager is making an adult decision by planning on keeping the baby. Is the Mom punishing her daughter for the premarital sex or the fact that she chose to keep the baby instead of abort?
At least this Mom is helping her daughter find a place and move. At least she’s not just kicking her out with no place to go. No matter where this teenage Mom is living she will be living like an adult once she becomes a Mother. She will have no other choice. Sounds like this Mom is offering what she thinks is tough love. To me, it looks like a b*itch move. She is kicking her daughter out of the home when she needs her own Mother the most.
1 A New Family
Talk about a cluster f*ck at the OBGYN. Sounds like that examination room was full. If the baby is being given up for adoption why are the two grandma’s there? This sounds like one of those situations where someone is going to decide at the last minute that she is going to want to keep the baby. It could be the teenager, the Baby Daddy, or either one of the grandma’s. I’m a huge fan of adoption and if this situation works out for everyone involved then I am happy for them.
Maybe they will have an open adoption and all of these people will be able to remain in the child’s life. If that’s the case, I’m sure at some point the adoptive Mama will be thinking, what did I get myself into? Anyone ever feel overwhelmed by all of the unsolicited parenting advice by family members? Imagine being in the middle of this mess.