Being a stepparent is no easy task. There are many hurdles to overcome and become one big happy family. For some, it never happens. There are many step parents who hate being one. They all have their reasons, and some are similar, but uniquely their own. It is very difficult to be a step parent. There is almost a stigma against them.
It is hard for kids to come to terms with the fact that their parents will not be together and a new person will be involved as a parental unit. This can lead to resentment towards the stepparent, making the relationship difficult.
At times the stepparent is the one with the issues. They can't get over the fact that their spouse has kids with someone else. dealing with the ex can be trying, especially if the ex is crazy, or angry and tries to make the kids hate the new stepparent. Which happens all too often.
There are many people who have great stepparent/stepkid relationships, but for many, they have to work at it. Sometimes the stepparent hates being one because they simply wish the kids were their own and that they would be seen as more than just a stepparent.
15The Spoiled Step Daughter
It is hard to like a spoiled kid who acts the part. The stepmom says she does not like her stepdaughter because she is spoiled, and it's not the stepdaughter's fault. It is not the kid's fault she is spoiled, it is her parent's fault. It is a common occurrence for parents to want to give their kids everything. The things they never had as a child. I know I buy my daughter way more toys than I ever got as a child, but she is a pretty appreciative kid.
It is hard to be around someone, even a kid, who is unaware that their behavior is bad. And the parents feeding into such behavior will only make things worse for the kid and stepparent.
14The Ripple Effect
This stepdad is obviously having a hard time with his position. Not only is being a stepdad hard... but the strain of it is causing relationship issues with his own child. That is definitely a sad situation all the way around. And as parents, it is our instinct to put our children first. This is not to say that stepparents don't love their stepkids, but I can see his frustration. These kids that aren't even his, are coming between his relationship with his OWN child. It is hard to say what is right or wrong with situations like this. He can't help his feelings, but the fact is, he married a woman with kids. He needs to figure it out, or get out of the marriage before any more damage happens.
13Taking Dad's Spot
Being left on the outside or in the shadows is how many stepdads feel. They do their best, are there for their stepkids, but no matter what the biological dad is always number 1. This confession states that the bio dad was nowhere to be found for 6 months, yet he gets all the glory and takes the kids to do fun stuff now that he is back. The stepdad is left feeling sad and neglected. Of course, he should never try and get in the way of the kids and their real dad's relationship, the feelings of jealousy he is experiencing are normal. He is only human after all. And he is obviously dedicated to being a good father figure to his step kids, or else he wouldn't care.
12The Ugly Truth
The stepmom confessing here has quite the confession. She hates being a stepmom, but the world thinks she is a great stepmom. Her husband knows she hates it, but he keeps her secret hidden from the world. I would not stay in a relationship with someone who did not love my child, and love being a stepparent to my kid. This woman says she wishes her husband never had a kid. Well, then she should have never married him. She sounds incredibly selfish and immature, and her husband should divorce her. Hopefully, because the world thinks she is a good stepmom, that the kid thinks so too. However, are intuitive and pick up on animosity towards them from others. Maybe the dad will come to his senses and get a divorce.
Well, if someone out there wants to be treated like a doormat, then become a stepdad. So sayeth this whisper confessor. And everyone will beg for money too! Fun times! Nope, wait a minute, that is the opposite of fun times. That sounds like a real drag and a sad life. And he probably gives in and lets them treat him like a doormat because he wants to be nice and have his stepkids love him. However, he should man up and say no. Put his foot down and have them treat him with respect. If they can't be respectful and not walk all over him, then they don't get any money. At least that is how I would handle things if I were in that situation.
10The Permanent Third Wheel
Being the third wheel is never fun. And having that role for the rest of one's life does not sound very inticing. Apparently, this stepmom feels under appreciated and her role is that of the third wheel. She says she was unaware that being a stepparent meant this would be her life. I am a firm believer that if someone is unhappy with their life, it is up to them to change it. She needs to tell her husband and stepchild how she feels and they should correct the situation as a family. And if they don't care enough to do so, then she should hightail it out of there and start a life that makes her happy. Life is much too short to live unhappily.
9Always The Bad Guy
Stepparents tend to try really hard to please their stepkids. That's what good adults/stepparents do, but sometimes it doesn't matter how good they are to their stepchildren. The stepkids will not be kind or even act grateful towards their stepmom or stepdad. This woman writing the confession says she tries her hardest for stepkids but she is always considered to be the bad guy. It is simply a tough position to be in. Hopefully, with time the children will see how hard she tries for them and that she loves them. Kids can feel that if they are kind or accepting of a new stepparent that they are betraying their bio parent. Or they may just be jealous if their parent's relationship with someone that is not their bio mom or dad.
8He Should Just Leave
This poor stepdad sounds like he has it pretty rough. His wife criticizes him, his stepkids father causes issues, and his mother in law considers him and tells him, he is nothing. I would be out of there in a hurry. Ain't nobody got no time for living a miserable life with ungrateful people who are mean. He needs to re-evaluate his life. I'm sure he loves his wife and everything, but she should at least stand up for him, and not be critical of his stepparenting. It is difficult to marry a person with kids, and becoming a stepparent is no easy feat. It should be given a lot of thought and people should remember that it can bring about a lot of issues for the spouses and kids.
7No Thank You
It is really difficult to deal with an ungrateful child, and it is even harder when the child is not even your own. The stepmom writing her can't stand her stepdaughter so much, it makes her hate being a stepmom. Some kids are just way too entitled and selfish. If I were this stepmom I would try my hardest to straighten this little brat out. Or I would simply stop doing things that make her life easier. Sometimes, a few simple changes in the stepparents or bio parents behaviors can be enough to change the kid for the better.
We live in a time where it is more common for kids to act ungrateful and self-entitled, and it is incredibly frustrating. I feel this stepmoms pain.
Being a stepparent is not hard just because of the kids, sometimes the kids aren't even a problem. The problem often times lies with the spouse's ex. Some exes are absolute nightmares to deal with. They do their best to make the kid(s) hate the new stepparent, interfere with the relationship and make things difficult for everyone involved. Usually due to the fact that they are not over their ex, or can't stand the thought of someone else helping to raise their kids. Whatever their excuse is, it's not valid. There is a time for immaturity and it is not when it comes to raising kids. This woman states her husband's ex makes her wish she never married him and she hates being a stepparent because of her. The ex needs to grow up.
This particular stepmom says it is so hard being one, and sometimes she just wants to pack and leave in the middle of the night. It is hard. And it can be a thankless and at times lonely position to be in. The dad has to do his best at balancing out kids and wife, and ex baby mama, and sometimes the wife is made to feel like she is in last place. In addition to being treated not so nice from her stepkids, or having the ex cause issues with her relationship with her husband and stepkids. Her feelings of wanting to runaway in the middle of the night may sound extreme, but some of the stepfamily situations can make a person feel a little crazy.
4The Hidden Fear
This stepdad married his wife with her believing he wanted to be a stepdad. Apparently, he did not and hates being one. He can't tell her for fear she would divorce him, and he says she would not have married him had she known the truth. Well Duh! No woman is going to want to marry someone that doesn't care for her children. It's a package deal.
He should not have gotten married to her if he didn't want to be a stepdad, and starting a marriage off under a lie does not seem like a good idea. He really bit off more than he chew, and now is stuck in his web of lies.I don't feel bad for him though, he knew what he was doing when he got married.
3Alone In The Family
This stepmom said that being a stepmom is the most heartbreaking, hardest and under appreciated thing she has ever done. That is absolutely heartbreaking to hear. But I know it is the case for many stepparents. She says she feels so alone too. Stepparents in this position should seek out other stepparents or find a group where they can go to talk and vent about their frustrations of stepparent-hood. It is often times more difficult than people anticipate. The relationship and wedding are fun times, but when it is back to reality, and the blending of families occurs, things can get a little hectic. And the stepparents are usually left to feel somewhat out of place in their new family. It can be awkward for all parties involved.
23 Years Harder
The general consensus from these whisper confessions is that stepparenting is hard. The hardest thing many of them have ever done. And for this stepmom, it hasn't gotten any easier, even after three years. It makes her break down and cry some days. It is definitely a lousy situation to be in. Loving someone, and their kids, but for whatever reason, being made to feel inadequate, or even hated by the stepchild. It can also be difficult because the stepparent does love their stepkid so much, but the bio parent makes things difficult.
Whatever the reasons, these stepparents should get together and form a support group of some sort. I'm sure confessing on whisper brings them some form of relief, just to be able to get their feelings out there.
1The Bad Guy
Being a stepparent is much like being a bio parent. There is usually a "good guy" "bad guy" situation, so to speak. There is one parent that is fun and will let the kid slide with things and one that tends to be stricter. It is tough enough being a stepparent. But being labeled as the bad guy stepdad can exasperate the situation. And not being listened to is frustrating in any relationship, and just makes the stepparenting thing even more difficult than it already is. People should really do some research on what it entails to become a stepparent, and if it is what they want for their life. Because there are many people out there who seem to regret making the dive into stepparenthood.
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