Everyone has different beliefs about how life should be lived. Things like religion, parenting styles, or even relationships can vary based off of what a person believes. When it comes to relationships, marriage, and dating, not everyone believes that a monogamous relationship is the only way to go. Some people believe in having more than one partner. Just look at shows like Sister Wives as an example. Some people really believe that a person shouldn’t have to choose between two people that one wants to be with. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and their own views about how they want to live their life; keywords: their life.
Who is one person to say what’s wrong and what’s wrong when everyone believes in different things? Everyone is unique in their own way. Polyamorous people believe in multiple partners, just like monogamous people believe in only one partner.
People use the social app Whisper to make anonymous confessions about anything their heart desires. They can confess their biggest relationship hopes or fears. They can even confess things that they usually keep hidden from others out of fear of being judged. That’s the great thing about Whisper; no one knows who you are unless you tell them. Here are some Whisper confessions that polyamorous people want everyone to see.
15The Middle Spoon
If a person is going to choose to live a certain way, they should be proud of it! This Whisper user said that they love falling asleep in between their boyfriend, and their girlfriend at night. I hope they have a king-sized bed. They also go on to say that they are poly and proud. Hopefully, this person is willing to continue to be proud of themselves outside of the safety and comfort that Whisper offers.
I believe that if a person if living the way that they choose to live, that they should be proud of that and not hide that from people. Yes, I do understand that there are simply some people that one cannot confide in for multiple reasons, such as it being a coworker because a person does not want to jeopardize their careers. But to everyone else, if a person's living how they want, flaunt that stuff!
14Her Biggest Mistake
In some cases, people will push for things that they later end up regretting. Like this Whisper user who confessed that she pushed for her husband to be polyamorous with her. Now, she is regretting it because he no longer seems interested in her. He only seems interested in the other girls that he meets. This can definitely put a lot of strain on any relationship, and sometimes trying new things is not always the solution to relationship problems.
If this woman’s marriage had no problems, to begin with, and they weren’t polyamorous, to begin with; this woman may have really destroyed her marriage over wanting to try something different. It’s kind of like one those, if it isn’t broken don’t try to fix it situations. For people that started off monogamous, adding new people to the relationship just does not always work because someone usually ends up getting jealous in the end.
13It's Not So Easy
Another assumption about people who are in polyamorous relationships tends to be the fact that people assume they are easy to get. This Whisper user said that they love how people assume that he or she is easy just because she is in a poly relationship. When, in fact, people in a polyamorous relationship still believe in things like being committed. When there are two or three partners, they are still with those people and only those people.
If they want to bring another person into that relationship, they usually tend to discuss it with their partners. It’s not like they are going on and are trying to be with every person that they come into contact with. If that were the case, they wouldn’t want to be in a relationship to being with. They still choose to be in relationships; they just tend to have more than one partner.
This Whisper user seems fed up with the assumptions that monogamous people make about polyamorous people because they start off by saying that the number one stupid assumption that monogamous people make about polyamorous people is that their partner’s do not satisfy them. They said that monogamous people are ‘wrong, so wrong’ when it comes to that assumption.
A lot of people tend to react badly to things that are not considered normal within our society. Most people are brought up to think that we should only be with one person and that if we want more than one person that something is seriously wrong within that relationship. But everyone is different, and we all believe different things. One person should not be able to judge another person's choices if what they are doing isn’t illegal in the eyes of the law. Sometimes people fall for more than one person and don’t believe that they should have to choose.
11Both Or None At All
One Whisper user confessed that they are in a polyamorous relationship, and that they have fallen out of love with one of their partners, but that they are afraid to leave one of them out of fear that he or she may lose both partners. That is a tough spot for this person to be in. Not only are they in a relationship that society still sees as being wrong, but what is a person supposed to do when the love just isn’t there anymore?
This person should probably come right out and tell his or her partner how they are feeling because otherwise, they are just leading one of them on. This person’s partner may not even realize that anything is wrong in their relationship in the first place. Sometimes people who stay in a relationship when the love is no longer there, tend to end up resenting their partner. I believe that this person has a lot of thinking to do.
If a person is going to talk about their love life, and they are talking about having a boyfriend, then in another sentence talk about having a girlfriend, people are bound to get confused. This is especially true if the person leaves out the fact that they are polyamorous. This Whisper user confessed that the people they work with probably think they are cheating on their partner because they will talk about their boyfriend and their girlfriend.
Most people won’t catch on that someone is polyamorous, they will usually come to the conclusion that this person is a massive cheater. This Whisper user seems to be kind of out about the fact that they are polyamorous without technically saying it. Maybe this Whisper user should just fully come out admit that they are polyamorous.
For some people, not letting one’s friends know about a polyamorous relationship that one is in, could sometimes lead to some pretty awkward moments. Which is what happened to this Whisper user. He confessed that while he was at a bar to meet some friends, the polyamorous girl that he is dating shows up and then invites him to join her on her date. If no one else knows that a person is in a polyamorous relationship, how would one explain this to their friends?
It is understandable that a lot of people don’t tell a single soul when they are in a non-monogamous relationship because it’s not commonly accepted. So, sometimes instead of trying to explain something that others might not understand anyway, they hide that fact about their relationship. It’s probably not easy to explain to people, to begin with, and this Whisper user would probably have a hard time introducing his girlfriend and his girlfriend’s date.
8Two At Once
Sometimes people who claim to be polyamorous cannot wrap themselves around the whole lifestyle fully. This Whisper user confessed that he is polyamorous, but that still feels frustrated and confused at the fact that he is in love with two people. If this person wants to be with multiple partners, then he has to be able to accept the fact that sometimes the heart truly wants more than one person.
Even monogamous people, who are unfaithful, can run into issues of frustration and confusion when they fall for the other person. Humans sometimes seem to crave monogamous and polyamorous characteristics at the same time. In that case, what are they supposed to do? Even polyamorous people tend to hair their primary partner sometimes that they feel more love towards than their other partner.
Okay, so this one is pretty funny. We all know that when we are watching TV and the character has to choose between the person that they have loved for five years or the new person that came into their life; we are always rooting for one person or the other. This Whisper user admitted that they are polyamorous and that they find themselves yelling at the TV that the person on the screen does not have to choose.
I guess not everyone that is watching the Bachelor is rooting for one person or the other; sometimes they are just yelling for the Bachelor to choose all of them. To some people, they might think that this Whisper user is so wrong for saying that, but it is kind of funny when you take how one person views something and compare it to how a majority of society views that same thing. There would be more shows like the Bachelor if everyone were polyamorous.
6The Hidden Truth
Sometimes people find the perfect combination of people that they connect to, but what is a person supposed to do when they have to hide that relationship from the rest of the world. Again, this goes with the whole judgment thing. People should not judge just because they don’t understand. Everyone is different and unique in their own way.
This Whisper user confessed that she is in a committed quad, polyamorous relationship with her husband and another couple. She said they have to hide their relationship from 99-percent of people because they don’t understand. She also said that she wishes they could just be out. It’s a shame that sometimes people have to hide the most important fact about themselves out of fear of being judged. What’s even worse, is that she is right. This happens to be one of those things that most people would not understand.
5Mom Can't Know
One Whisper user confessed that they are in a polyamorous relationship, but that they probably cannot tell their family about it. This person believes that their family may be too bigoted to understand. From what I understand, that tends to happen a lot unless a person grew up in that kind of environment or have other family members that also happen to be in a polyamorous relationship. People tend to judge what they do not understand, and that happens with almost everything in life.
Throughout history, people have been known to judge or treat someone poorly, when they don’t understand something. People also tend to judge others when someone is a little different from what is typically considered normal. We are all brought up different ways, so sometimes that factors in a bit too.
Sometimes the heart wants what it wants, as this Whisper user found out. They said that they are in a polyamorous relationship and that they fell in love with both partners when they were only supposed to love one. If a person is going to try to be in a polyamorous relationship, they should try to be open to loving more than one person, since they are with more than one person. Sometimes we don’t mean to fall in love, but when a person is around someone a lot, sometimes these things just happen.
If a person is worried about loving more than one person, maybe polyamory was not the way to go. This person’s statement tends to seem like it leans more towards an unfaithful monogamous relation if they were only supposed to love one person. But, as I mentioned early, sometimes the heart wants what it wants, and there is nothing we can do about that either.
3It's Not About The Numbers
Sometimes a person can be in a room filled with people, but still feel lonely. This Whisper user confessed that she is polyamorous, has multiple boyfriends, and even lives with one of them. Even with all that, and all those men, she still feels lonely. A person can surround themselves with so many different people, but without a true connection, a person may not be able to get rid of that lonely feeling that grips so much of the world.
Loneliness can sometimes be a hard thing to shake. That’s why there are so many people out there that say the either come from huge families, or they can be lying right next to someone, and still feel lonely. I think this Whisper user should try finding someone that she truly connects with instead of just surrounding herself with multiple people. She can still have multiple boyfriends, but she needs a primary that she connects with fully, otherwise she may never truly be happy.
2Only Time Will Tell
This is another case where a couple decides to try to be polyamorous after starting off as monogamous. It just does not work out usually. People who are monogamous tend to get jealous very easily, so going from being in a relationship where one’s partner is all theirs, to something else can be devastating for any person.
This Whisper user confessed that he is a one-person monogamous man, but that his girlfriend talked him into being in a polyamorous relationship. In this case, it kind of sounds like his girlfriend just wants to be able to see and date whoever she wants without consequences. Again, if it’s not broken don’t try to fix it. This Whisper user also confessed that he is worried that this decision is going to tear him and his girlfriend apart. I think I may have to agree with him on this one.
1Two Places At Once
Sometimes being in a polyamorous relationship is not as great as people think it is. Sometimes one of the people within that polyamorous relationship get jealous of their girlfriends or boyfriends primary partner; the person that they are with the most. In that case, maybe the jealous person should consider being in a monogamous relationship where they do not have to worry about primary partners because they are the only one.
This Whisper user confessed that she wishes her boyfriend would understand that she has her own house and her own space; which happens to include her primary partner since they live together. She explains that she’s polyamorous and that she hates when her boyfriend gets upset because of this. Some people only get into polyamorous relationships with people because they would rather have that person in their life, even if they are with other people too, instead of not having that person in their life at all. It seems this may be one of those cases.
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