In today’s society, it seems like more and more families are relying on two incomes in order to make ends meet. There is nothing wrong with both parents working if that is what needs to be done, but often times one of the parents would rather stay home and watch their kids, instead of paying for someone else to watch them in daycare.
Historically speaking, the parent that has usually stayed home and cared for the kids has been the mom. We have all heard of stay-at-home moms, and usually, nobody flinches or thinks twice about that title. However, it is practically unheard of for a father to say that he is a stay-at-home dad. Many people still think that it is part of the man’s job to work and provide for his family.
You would think that by 2018 most of us could move past the gender stereotypes that have followed us through history, but many people are still stuck in their old mindsets. It is weird to think that society views a woman staying at home with her kids as totally normal, but if a guy does it, then he’s being lazy.
There are so many amazing and incredible dads out there that contribute so much to their family by staying home with the kids. However, it is not all sunshine and roses, and the dads let us know the hard way. Here are 15 messed up Whisper confessions from stay-at-home dads.
15 Always At Home
It is not as easy as it looks. Even if you can handle the constant diaper changes and feedings, there is something to be said about being stuck in your house all day long. Eventually, you might even lose the motivation to shower and get dressed up for the day. After all, what is the point if you are only going to stay inside?
This is why it is important to get creative if you are a parent who stays at home with the kids. Think of new recipes to bake with them, take them on bike rides or to the park. You can organize play dates or do outdoor activities. Even with babies, many parents often times put them in a stroller and go for a walk. There are plenty of ways to get outside with your kids if the house is making you stir crazy.
14 Do They Really Have It Easy?
As sad as it is, people seem to get jealous when others are happy. It might be because they aren’t happy in their own life, or it could just be the ignorance talking. However, from what we can gather about this father’s whisper confession is that the people around him don’t understand. They probably don’t even see that they are contradicting themselves.
They make it very clear that they would not want to be a stay-at-home dad. They complain after watching the kids by themselves for only a couple of hours. So how is it so easy to watch the kids all day long without any help? Anything can sound appealing at first. Like the idea of not having to get up and get ready for work every day, or deal with annoying coworkers. However, children wake up early and are very exhausting, so those who think it is an easy job really don’t know what they are talking about.
13 People Think It's Strange
One really important thing to remember in life is that when you love the decisions you make, you don’t need others to love them. If being a stay-at-home dad is what makes you incredibly happy in life, then that is great, and you should do it. With so many kids out there who don’t have great parents, people really have no right to judge a dad for being a hands-on parent. He is investing all the time he has into his kids, instead of letting a babysitter or daycare worker do it.
Of course, many people like tradition and gender role stereotypes. They may not be used to having a father stay at home with his kids, but that does not mean it is strange. Just because it is different than what has normally occurs definitely does not make it wrong either. This dad clearly loves his kids more than anything and that should be what really matters at the end of the day.
12 You Can Do This!
Is it just me, or is this whisper confession really hilarious? Nobody said parenting was easy, and most people know how hard it is. Taking care of another life is exhausting and has its challenges. Sometimes parents don’t know how they are going to get through the day. However, they always do. And one day the work might become a little easier and then you might even look back and miss those long days and exhausting nights.
However, anyone who says that stay-at-home parents don’t work or have it easy are sadly mistaken. They work hard and clearly, this guy gets to the end of his rope just about every day. It's amazing how much energy can come out of a little toddler. It takes a lot to keep up with them and keep them occupied all day, but most would agree that it is a job well worth all the work.
11 Do Gender Roles Matter?
Gender roles may not matter to this guy, but to a lot of people they are still very important. It is a little ridiculous to think that many families still force their opinions onto others. You would think that people would have more respect than that but often times people are so stuck in their own mindset that they don’t even understand that what they are saying would be considered rude.
This guy and his family appear to be living the life. His wife works an amazing full-time job, which most likely comes with benefits, and her husband gets to keep the house clean for when she comes home. Of course, it may be less common for families to do this, but if it works then that is great. No man is the same and no woman is the same. Some women hate cooking and keeping up with the chores of a household. And some men can’t stand the idea of working a 9-5 job every day. So this guy seems to be right, gender roles really don’t matter at all.
10 Put Yourself First
The only way you can be the best parent and father to your kids is if you are the best version of yourself. This father clearly does not seem to be happy in where he’s at in life. He doesn’t take up any issues with being a full-time stay-at-home dad, but watching the kids all day long may be why he hasn’t gone to the gym or worked out lately. He might be in a funk and feels stuck in this situation.
The great thing about it is that he has so much flexibility with his life that he can definitely make some changes for the better. A lot of gym memberships come with free daycare, so he could start working out again. He also could look into cooking healthier meals for his kids and family. He seems to be the one driving most of the family stuff, which gives him the freedom to gear their lifestyle towards what he needs in order to be happier and healthier.
9 He's Not The Babysitter
This is not the first time I have heard of people calling stay-at-home dads “babysitters.” Do people not see or understand how offensive that statement is? You don’t babysit your own child. You parent them. As a father, most people assume that you are apart of a 50/50 team. Whether someone works more or stays home with the kids more is one thing, but that does not make either one of the parents less of a parent.
Could you imagine a working mom taking her kids somewhere during the week and having someone accuse her of being a babysitter for the day? Of course, you can’t imagine that because it would never happen. People are still very biased against gender roles and they don’t even care or notice. However, hopefully, with the rise of families challenging the traditional ways of life, more people will be accepting of change.
8 He Just Wants Friends
First of all, I could not imagine anything cuter than a dad walking with his two little girls to the park to play. There is just something about father-daughter dates that is too adorable. However, fathers need friends too, and just because they are a guy, does not mean that other moms need to judge him for trying to be a hands-on dad.
It is understandable that other moms would not want to be spending all their time with some guy when they are most likely already married themselves. However, you can still be friendly and nice to people without things getting weird. Sitting in the park watching your kids play together does not mean that anything inappropriate is going to happen. The sad part is that this dad said he was new to the area, so he already doesn’t know anyone, which makes making friends even harder.
7 It's A Lonely Road
Talking to children can be nice, but it often times does not provide any sort of substantial social interaction. Children are very sporadic and usually don’t have the attention spans that are capable of holding longer conversations. When you are a stay-at-home dad, you might not anticipate every challenge that will come along with that job.
For the parents that are super social, it may be easy to plan play dates and get together with other kids and parents, but if you are shy or more reserved, it can definitely be a lonely job. You are pretty much on your own all day long. You are stuck in your own head, with your own thoughts. There is only so much social interaction that your kids can provide before you start feeling lonely again. This is one aspect of working from home that most people don’t see. They think it is such an easy job, but it does have its challenges.
6 Life Is Boring
It is a little unclear as to what this dad thought being a stay-at-home dad would be like. If playing with his kids was not something on his to-do list, it just seems odd that he would choose to stay home instead of going to work. There are some parents that love every second of playing with their kids, but then there are others who do get bored sitting around playing with stuffed animals all day.
This is precisely why not everyone is cut out to be a stay-at-home mom or dad. There are tons of moms who would rather work a full-time job than play with stuffed animals all day. And then there are others who would rather spend their time with their kids, no matter what they are doing. It doesn’t matter your gender, it all comes down to preference. But this dad seems to be having a rough time with it.
5 People Are So Judgemental
This dad makes a really good point. If we as a society can make progress when it comes to gay rights, women’s rights, and sexual harassment claims not being taboo, then why is it still so hard for so many people to accept the idea of a dad staying home and watching his kids. There are a lot of misogynistic people still out there in the world who think that the woman’s place is at home with her kids, and the man’s place is at work.
It can be hard for people who cling to tradition to move past these ideas and be more progressive. However, it is very important that we keep pressing these issues because it is wrong to make men feel judged or unaccepted for simply wanting to take care of his family. There are much bigger issues that we should be worrying about.
4 Nobody To Talk To
This is not the first time that we have heard dads complain about being lonely or wanting someone besides their kids to talk to when they are home all day long. It is hard to tell if the stay-at-home moms are just better and making friends with other moms, or if they get lonely too. There are a lot of groups, such as the moms club, that moms can take their little ones to, but there don’t seem to be very many groups for stay-at-home dads yet.
It could be because being a stay-at-home dad is still slightly taboo in society today and so it is not as popular. But, as more and more dads choose to stay home with their kids, there can be more groups like this to help prevent loneliness for parents. This dad clearly loves staying at home with his kid, so if he wasn’t lonely it would be the perfect situation.
3 That Is A Lot Of Money
This dad’s whisper confession truly shows that money doesn't buy happiness. There are a ton of people who would kill to be making almost a three-digit salary every year. That is no small amount of money and it can pay for a pretty lavish lifestyle. Often times, parents are forced into keeping jobs like this, even if they don’t like them because it helps them afford things for their children.
However, if you are not happy, and are not able to spend a lot of time with your kids, then the job really isn’t worth it. A lot of parents are realizing that they would rather live a simpler lifestyle if it means that they can spend more time with friends, family, and the people that actually matter. The fact that this dad is so happy with his decision to leave his job and stay home is great. His happiness will definitely rub off on his kids too.
2 You're Not Less Of A Man
This dad is clearly fed up, and for a good reason. Why society constantly feels the need to demean men who want to take care of children really makes no sense to me. With the number of deadbeat dads, there are in the world, we should be more focused on preventing that from happening again and spending less energy on crushing the spirits of stay-at-home dads who enjoy taking care of their kids.
You are not less of a man because you don’t put on a suit and walk into an office every single day. Just in the same way that a woman is not less than for wanting to be a mom. If women can be moms, but also feel empowered to make it in the business world than men should feel just as empowered to do both as well. Obviously, men have dominated the workforce for a long time, but that doesn't mean they are incapable of holding a household together too.
1 No Time To Love Me
This dad makes me really sad. He is feeling neglected, overworked, and unloved. It is clear that this man feels like his wife loves her job more than she loves him. Of course, this is hopefully not true, but it is hard to feel differently when they don’t make enough time for you. This stay-at-home dad really needs to talk to his wife and explain how he is feeling.
He claims that he finally understands how so many women who stay at home feel. It is actually refreshing to see someone else relate to women and feel the way many of them have felt for so many years. However, this also brings up another issue completely which is this idea of work-life balance. While jobs are important and they help pay the bills, and you are very lucky if you actually like your job, it doesn’t mean that your job should be prioritized over your family.