My mother-in-law once told me that raising a family is one of the hardest things we'd do in our lives. As a young mom to an amazing little boy I didn't quite believe her. Everything was great! Then my son began to grow from a baby to a little boy. And our daughter came into the world when he was eight. And hell broke loose. It wasn't an easy transition. And our daughter had some difficulties which required a lot of doctors appointments, traveling and a strict schedule. Now that my son is a teenager and my daughter a preschooler I understand what my mother-in-law meant.
Parenting is constant and never ending. The responsibility, the worry, stress. Kids never stop eating, growing. There is never enough money to cover all the expenses so it becomes a balancing act. Doctors appointments and every virus seems to find its way to our home. Are we disciplining enough? Are we even doing any of this right?
Some parents cannot take the stress so they pack up and leave. Others know they cannot raise their child so they place their baby to be adopted with a family who can give them everything they deserve. Other parents are addicted and unable to make the choice, the drugs make it for them. Sometimes they choose adoption as their option, which can be used as a legal form of abandonment, but at least the child is well cared for.
For the child involved it doesn't matter the reason behind the abandonment. It hurts. Makes them feel unlovable, and it effects every relationship they will ever have.
We don't hear of many situations of parental abandonment in the older generations. For the most part parents dug deep and did what they had to do. This confession looks at the idea that the Millennial generation has experienced parental alienation and abandonment more than the past and I don't think they are wrong.
The heartache of Vietnam and the loss that war led to the time of disco, which glamorized partying and drug use. People lost themselves in their vices, which lead to unwanted pregnancies, which lead to fathers ditching the responsibility. Decades later the men grew up and realize all they've lost out on. I pray it isn't too late for them to get to know their children and grandchildren.
14He Deserves Better
This homeless mom is placing her son for adoption with her friend. She is homeless and knows he deserves better than living on the streets. She claims that she is looking for a job and a place to live at the moment. I feel like there is way more to this story.
Even a private adoption would include terminating parental rights, a home study, background checks and multiple court dates. A year minimum to complete the process. Is adoption the right way to go in this temporary situation of homelessness? Can this mom stay in a shelter or with her friend until she is able to get back on her feet? It looks like shes abandoning her son, and continuing in victim mode instead. Sad.
13"I Abandoned My Baby."
Mom walked out on this baby two years ago, why is his father allowing her to waltz in now? We don't know the circumstances surrounding why mom abandoned her family. Did she have postpartum depression? Was motherhood more than she could take?
In any case she is getting another chance.
She gets to meet the stranger she birthed. Gets to see his face, hear him speak, recognize her own mannerisms in his. Maybe this meeting will change her life perspective and she embraces this second chance at motherhood.
12Alienation Or Abandonment?
Sometimes it is for the child's best interest to be kept from their mother or father. They could be unsafe, make horrible decisions, put the baby in harms way. Sometimes they don't understand how to take care of the child no matter who tries to support them and teach them. Sometimes the parent can't fight the battles in their own head, or their addictions long enough to take care of their child. It does happen and it is heartbreaking.
But maybe this parents family are controlling and just don't like what she's doing even though she loves her child and wants nothing but the best for him. What she should do is contact law enforcement and social services immediately so she can once again have her child in her arms. Also, please get yourself into therapy and classes to help you cope with this traumatic experience.
First of all, even if your child has a genetic disorder, he is not "messed up". He's wonderful, lovable and capable of giving love just as every child is. You abandoned your child before you were able to learn just how amazing he is.
You deceived your wife by not telling her the truth on your past. She will likely lose all respect for you once she finds the truth. And if you don't come clean and she becomes pregnant with a child that also has a genetic disorder, you took away her decision to chose to take that chance herself. Don't you dare screw her over like you did your first family. If you do, sir, you will be even more cowardly than I had originally imagined. Man up!
10They Are Better Off...
If you can't take care of your children, the best place for them to be is with family. Family knows you, knows your heart. They know your history and share your family tree. Your kids can be raised in their true family, even if you have to sacrifice your family in order for that to happen.
Still though, Auntie can't replace Mommy. I hope that these babies are now happy and healthy 10 years later. It cannot be easy to live this reality.
This whisper confession is truly heartbreaking. She gave up her nephew who is severely autistic because she just couldn't take care of him anymore. Not only did his biological parents give up on him, but so did his aunt. Now she feels like he can be "somebody elses problem." How heartless can a person get?
Nothing about autism is easy. This baby deserves someone to love him unconditionally. He deserves someone to be there for him, to fight for him, to get him the therapies and services he needs in order to live his best life. I hope he finds that warrior, and I wish him nothing but the best.
8You Don't Always Get What You Want...
As kids we dream of what life will be like when we grow up. We make plans and daydream and life is just magical. The possibilities far out of reach, but so exciting. As we grow, those ideals and dreams change. We learn what we truly want in life through experience.
It is important to be truthful with yourself, and honest with your partner in life. Tell them exactly what you think about getting married, having kids, your philosophy on raising children. Because if your ideals do not match, one of you will end up resentful of the situation you find yourself in. and it will be no ones fault but your own.
This whisper confession makes me incredibly angry and sad. Postpartum depression still carries stigma. Women who suffer are unfairly judged and ridiculed and it isn't right. Postpartum depression needs to be taken seriously and new moms supported in their role. Their mental health is so important, and they are equally important to their new child. Instead we make these mothers feel like they are not valued at all.
Maybe we don't have the full story though. Maybe there was more going on in this mom's life and it is for the better that the babies are with different forever families. This confession raises valid questions though. It is time to step up support for postpartum depression and those suffering.
6Time To Step Up To The Plate
Women often lose themselves in mothering. Their wants and desires take the back burner, often forgotten about completely. Their needs are no longer a priority, as they have another human being relying upon them completely. It can be overwhelming.
Often times the feelings of needing to run away come from an underlying mental health situation. Postpartum depression is common and treatable. If you recognize symptoms in a friend or loved one, please reach out to them, give them a break. Take care of the baby while they shower. Bring them a meal. You just may be helping more than you realize.
When my oldest child was born 13 years ago he slept in a bassinet next to my bed. I was amazed at how I'd wake up only a few minutes before he'd wake wanting to eat. My kids would always have a smell about them whenever they were about to get sick, and of course no one else was able to smell it. Maternal instinct is one of the strongest forces in nature.
This whisper confession doesn't surprise me one bit. The motherly instinct to know that our babies are okay, healthy, happy, cared for is incredibly strong, and it surpasses distance, time, and adoption. This mother loved her child enough to give him to parents who could provide for him. I commend you!
4Can't We All Just Get Along?
This reminds me of the old saying "damned if you do, damned if you don't." On one hand Dad has to work to earn a living so he can support his child. On the other hand, that job takes him over the road and away for long periods of time. Is financial security more important than physical presence?
These decisions are made on a daily basis by parents all over the world. Hopefully the at home parent can support and appreciate the sacrifices the other parent has had to make. Sometimes the past can prevent co-parents from doing an effective job at that and the only one to truly suffer is the child.
3It Isn't Always A Bad Thing
When you find yourself unexpectedly pregnant you have a lot of obstacles to work though. Pros and cons lists, internal debates, decisions to make. When you decide to place your child with an adoptive family there are more obstacles to face. Who should be my child's parents? What kind of life do I want for him? Open adoption or closed? What will be my role in this child's life?
One question that you shouldn't ever have is "Was this a bad thing?" Because that means you doubt yourself and the decision you made. Please weigh your options carefully. And by all means seek all the counseling and support you need so that you make the best decision possible for yourself and that precious baby you are carrying.
I feel like there is a fine line between placing your child for adoption and abandoning them. In the parents heart they know they've done the best they could and made the best decision for their child that was available and possible. But could they feel like they've abandoned their child for the rest of their life? Very likely.
This mom has thought about her son every day for the last 18 years. She wonders and hopes that he is happy. In the end that is all we can do as parents is hope our child is happy and healthy. Different decisions could have meant that she'd know today how her son was feeling, but that wasn't possible at the time. Maybe someday they will meet and get to know each other. Until then this mom wonders about the person who would have been her son.
This poster confession judges men who abandon their wife and kids and they are not wrong. When you get married you make a commitment, through better or worse. Having kids is hard. Very hard. The transition from only having to take care of yourselves to being 100% responsible for another persons life can be brutal.
What is even more brutal is when you can't handle your responsibilities and commitments and just leave. Maybe they are better off without your immature attitude. You're gonna be the one to wake up with regrets years down the road and by then it may be too late, and you will be left with picking up the pieces of a person who was absolutely shattered without your presence.
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