Some of them accept it with a quiet sadness. Others seem angry and resentful. Some of them even seem to understand. And just a few are quite happy about it, after all!
We’re talking about women who were left in the dust by their boyfriends, fiancés, and even husbands once they found out that they couldn’t have biological children.
There are so many of these Whisper confessions out there! To me, it’s insane.
I’m from a place I suppose many people would consider quite “liberal.” There’s not some standard expectation that we all must marry and reproduce. When we do end up doing so, it’s quite often because we’ve found a loving partner and made the decision to start families for whatever personal reasons we have.
But I don’t mean to generalize, here, and apparently, it’s important enough to some men to reproduce that they will leave their partners if this option, they discover, is suddenly off the table.
Or maybe they’re just looking for a reason to get out? Who knows.
But these women think they have it figured out. They confess that their guys said sayonara because making babies was a no-go.
Here are 16 heartbreaking Whisper confessions about men leaving their barren wives, GFs, or significant others.
Eight years is a long time to be together. But even after so much time spent as boyfriend and girlfriend, the bond was not strong enough, apparently, to withstand the news that she was not able to reproduce.
Before we get too far into this piece, I just have to point something out. Is it just me, or does it seem like with most of the couples you know, it’s the female pushing for children, and the male sort of postponing it or being unsure if he even wants to! Is that just unique to where I live? Anyway, it makes it kind of crazy to me that so many dudes up and left because they couldn’t make babies with a gal.
The crazy part of this particular confession is that they “just” found out. Not a lot of time or thought needed, just, “It’s over.”
Apparently if you attend a catholic wedding, the ceremony may include some words to the effect that the couple’s duty as part of their faith is to, well, spawn offspring.
This is very, very foreign to me personally. So many people in my neck of the woods make decisions based on their own ideas and feelings and wherever life happens to take them.
But perhaps some readers out there can identify. Is this standard practice? If a gal can’t have kids, is it normal for her partner to leave her within the guidelines of this religion??
Therefore, are infertile catholic women considered not to be marriage material??
I could have sworn there was something in the guidelines of many religions about being kind to others, practicing and sometimes spreading love and peace… Up and leaving your committed partner because of something outside of her control doesn’t quite seem to fit in with this to me…
It seems that 18 is just a rather young age to discover that someone is infertile. Usually, don’t people try to have kids or have sex without using birth control for quite some time before they realize that something must be up?
So when did this particular person start doing all that – before she was even legally considered to be an adult?
Because she did find out ON HER BIRTHDAY. That’s a pretty harsh day to hear some pretty terrible news, especially terrible for her because she says that it’s all she ever wanted in life, along with her partner.
This gal says she doesn’t blame her ex for leaving. I guess she knew that it was something that was really, really important to him.
I guess I still just don’t believe that a love could have been so true if this one factor means it’s time to call it quits…
13Blamed And Shamed
Did the hubs actually tell her all of this, or is she sort of just assuming or reading between the lines?
Gosh, I mean, if the person you love is depressed, isn’t it part of your duty as their spouse or committed partner to help them to get through it? You might urge them to get the professional help they need, help them refocus on something else that brings them joy… The sky’s the limit!
But instead of being there for her, he strayed… And not only did he cheat – he actually ended up leaving her for that other woman.
Raise your hand if you’re kind of grossed out by this guy.
But really, what he’s done is proved that he would not be there for her through thick and thin, in sickness and in health, so he’s not really husband material for her, is he?
Three days! That’s it. He didn’t even need any more time than that to think about it. Was there maybe something more going on if the hope of future reproduction was the only glue holding the relationship together?
I mean, they were together for FIVE YEARS!
It seems like maybe some people are sort of done with that stage, looking for something else such as having children to try to repair things or make the bond stronger somehow, and then find an easy reason to call it quits. (This is all completely speculation.)
Here’s the weirdest part: She says that he thinks she was hiding her infertility from him the whole time! Just, what?
How exactly would she have known that? Was she sleeping with dudes without using birth control before they were together? So many questions.
11Father Of The Year, Right Here
The order of events summarized in this confession gets a little confusing. But the facts are there, and they kind of suck.
This woman can’t have kids, or at least that’s what she’s for some reason come to understand. Her ex knew this. He slept around WITH HER BEST FRIEND. The best friend became pregnant. Out of the blue, seemingly, the dude is talking about how much he loves the idea of being a father.
So was it sleeping around that was truly important to this guy, or was it the desire to become a parent?
It seems that a good parent is first and foremost a good role model, right? And is it good behavior to treat people this way – to cheat on them with someone else important in their life? Food for thought.
10Not Down With Disease
To be fair, it does sound a little sketchy, perhaps, to say “a medical disease,” right? Maybe just “because I have a disease” or “because I’m sick”? What type of disease is there besides that?
But anyway, why would someone lie about something like that? And if the issue is that he doesn’t believe her, why doesn’t he go to a doctor’s appointment with her?
Hmm… Maybe this is something to do with a sexually transmitted disease? Is she being vague about it for this reason? And was she so vague about it to her guy that he thought it was a bunch of BS? We will never know.
And again, is it just me, or with a lot of couples you’ve encountered, wouldn’t the guy often utter a huge sigh of relief upon finding that there was no pressure whatsoever to have children? To each his own, though.
9Dumb As Dirt?
Wait, wait… Let us get this straight. This guy thinks the chick did “something wrong” and that’s why she can’t have children?
And this wasn’t just her boyfriend. It was the man to whom she was engaged to marry. At this point, shouldn’t there be a certain level of trust and understanding and openness with the other person in the partnership? I guess there’s “should” and then there’s the reality of it, though.
It must be hard to not be able to have children and to not completely understand why. But can’t the doctors she mentions give the couple some insight into the matter? It seems there must be some way to clear up for this dude -- who may not exactly be the sharpest tool in the shed – that the inability to conceive is not this lady’s fault.
Or does he mean that she contracted some STD that’s caused the problem?
8Fun With Flip-Flopping
One minute, he’s completely against having children, and the next, not being able to is unacceptable and the relationship must end. Hmmm. Maybe there were some larger issues going on here?
I guess if he was going to have a vasectomy, it’s like, why didn’t he have one already if he was so sure he didn’t want to have any biological children? Maybe he wasn’t really 100 percent sure or something. Or maybe he just wasn’t ready to admit to himself that it was something he might want to do.
It’s all speculation, and your guess is as good as mine.
She seems to think it’s because he found her less feminine due to her inability to have children.
So, like, he needs to know she could even though he claims he doesn’t want to?
7Action And Reaction
The way she presents this makes it sound like he dumped her right there on the spot. Man, four years is a pretty long time.
And I guess for some people, 23 is sort of an age at which you want to be in relationships that might “go somewhere,” as in take you closer to fulfilling certain dreams that you have, such as getting married and having children.
We have to wonder if it had come up before how important it was to this guy to have biological kids. Like, did she see this coming? Did she wonder how he would react? Or did it take her completely by surprise?
I guess no matter what, maybe it’s better for both parties that it’s out in the open before they’ve both invested more time and energy into the relationship and gotten a bit older, then to realize they couldn’t ever have kids.
6Can’t Un-See It
Ah, looking up exes on the Internet. This is probably not a great road to go down for many, many reasons. Is it better to always wonder where they ended up or to find out and (likely) be super bummed?
Well in any case, this woman decided to search away, and the news she found was probably rather emotional for her to discover.
What’s almost more powerful about this confession to me is that she doesn’t make any mention of how she’s feeling about the whole thing. It’s all sort of just implied – that it must be quite heartbreaking to first of all be left by the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with and second of all discover that they’ve moved on and fulfilled their dream without you.
5Bigger And Better Things?
Here’s what I hope after reading so many of these, in particular a couple that involve the guy going on to have the kids he apparently really wanted: I hope that some of these women ended up finding true love and being able to have kids, after all, as well – if that’s what they wanted, too.
And if not, you’ve gotta hope that they eventually realized that maybe there was a much better path for them and that it all worked out better that way in the end.
But it doesn’t mean going through something like this would be easy!
And there’s no such hopeful sentiments included in this confession. It’s just the news that her ex has moved on and successfully reproduced with someone else.
Is anyone else getting sort of a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach?
4Can’t Blame Her
If someone you were in a loving, committed relationship with left you because of something that was out of your control, I can imagine that it would probably be super hard to let yourself get close to someone again, and probably rather easy to develop trust issues.
Here’s hoping that as with so many painful things in life, time will heal all. Although we never forget the hard things we’ve been through, with some care and patience, it’s sometimes possible to see things in a different light. We might learn from the more challenging events we’ve experienced. We might grow as people. We might even be able to appreciate the tough stuff we’ve gone through for making us into the uniquely beautiful people we are today!
In realizing that she’s having a hard time letting anyone close, hopefully she can begin to heal and find a way to move on.
3Wheel Keeps On Turnin’
Wait a minute. So did she take him back after he dumped her for not being able to have kids? Or was it like they’d broken up, she’d taken him back, and then he dumped her again after he found out she couldn’t have children?
My best guess is that it’s the first of these two options. The couple was together, they found out she couldn’t have a baby, and he broke up with her… Then she “took him back.”
My question is, does she still consider what they have to be a real relationship, or does taking him back mean, um, being with him physically…?
Either way, how could someone break up with a person (if they really loved this person) after discovering such sad news? And then how could they rekindle whatever it was that they had again after the fact?
2Pumped On Life
Well, she certainly seems to have a positive take on things, at this point anyway!
And we’re wondering if some of these other confessors might eventually see things in a similar light. Do you really want to be with a man who would leave you right after you found out such heartbreaking news? Like, was the only reason he was with you to reproduce? That seems unlikely and odd. If something like that made him hit the trail, perhaps he really wasn’t capable of being the loving and committed partner you deserve.
As this lady says, it’s probably a blessing in disguise.
Isn’t that how many hard things in life feel after either a little bit or a lot of time? One story ending is another one beginning. What may seem at first like a huge loss can quite soon become the opportunity of a lifetime.
Let’s end it on a happy note! That’s always fun
Like the last confessor, at least we have one more gathered here to share with you who sees things positively. Instead of sadness or anger, she’s moving right on, and seeming to think things are really looking up.
Yes, she found out she probably can’t naturally have children. Yes, her boyfriend took off on her. But this doesn’t mean life is over. There are many other things to look forward to, and many other places for happiness and fulfillment to be found. How about that callback on the dream job? Way to go!
And she’s even found a great way to still be in touch with her caring and nurturing side. That puppy has found itself a mom! Here’s to new beginnings.
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