It’s no secret that parenting is tough. There's the lack of sleep, constant decision making, and being pulled in 80 different directions at one time. However, of all of the things that make parenting tough, the regrets that many parents experience are one of the hardest things to deal with.
They say that you shouldn’t have any regrets, but when it comes to raising another human being, regrets are pretty much par for the course. Some of the regrets are minor, like feeling guilty for snapping at the kids, or giving them a bad haircut; however, some of the regrets parents experience are more severe, such as the name that was chosen for the child, or wishing they had waited longer to have children. Some parents may wish that they had waited until they were older or younger to have children. Of all the regrets that parents may be faced with, perhaps the worst is regretting the person they had children with.
Having kids changes everything, including relationships and how mom and dad view each other. Unfortunately, the way partners feel about each other can change for the worse, which may make them wish that they had had children with someone else.
Here’s a look at whisper confessions from 15 parents who wish their baby’s mama or daddy was someone else.
16 The Brutal Truth
Children are the hope for a better, brighter, more loving future for the world, and their parents are largely responsible for what type of people they will be. This dad clearly thinks that the mother of his children are influencing them, and not in a good way. Perhaps she yells at them, spanks them, talks down to them, or disrespects other people. Whatever it is that this mom does, her children are watching her and taking notes. Dad has obviously taken notice and either is worried that his children will mimic her behavior, or he already sees that his children are emulating their mother’s negativity. While he can’t change the mother of his children, I do hope that he uses her as an example to teach his children how they shouldn’t be.
Well, alright… There may be a lot of reasons why a woman wishes she had children with someone else, but wondering if her son would have been “cuter” if he had a different father? Now, that’s just vain and, to be blunt, utterly selfish. I mean, let’s be honest, there was a 50-50 chance that her baby was going to look like his father. If she thinks her son isn’t cute, what does she think about his father’s looks? And, if she is so concerned with the way her son looks and thinks that he would have been cuter if his father were someone else, than why did she even hook up with the father, let alone have a baby with him! This is just terrible! There are way more important things in a child's life than the fact that they inherited their dad's big nose or bushy eyebrows. Sounds like this might be a mom who should be replaced, and not the dad.
14 Taking After Dad
A father is a huge influence on his children. If he acts inappropriately, is disrespectful, doesn’t put his children or his partner first, is neglectful, or is an unsuitable father in any other way, his kids are definitely going to be affected. Often, the way a child behaves is a direct reflection of parenting. Children with behavioral issues often have these problems as a result of the way they are treated by their parents. This mother certainly thinks that her son’s father is the cause of his behavioral problems. Whether he’s lashing out, acting inappropriately, is disrespectful, or he is violent, I’m not sure, but it’s safe to say that this mother believes her son would be much better off if he had a different father. Because clearly, his father is negatively affecting him.
13 Put The Phone Down
OMG! I can only imagine how this mom feels! I see this at the park all the time, and it drives me absolutely insane! Parents are sitting there, scrolling through their phones or worrying about themselves, instead of paying attention to and worrying about their kids. I just want to say to them, “Wake up! Your kid is right in front of you, and you aren’t even looking at him!” If I feel that way about parents that I don’t even know, I can only imagine how it would feel to have a child with someone who acted like this. It’s utterly ridiculous! I get that parents need to focus on themselves sometimes and that they definitely have to look at their phones (I am certainly not saying that I don’t do either of these things). But the kids need to come first. Case closed.
12 Raising A Child With A “Child”
Parenting children is hard enough; having to parent a parent, well, that makes the job even more difficult.
It’s cool for parents to act like “kids” with their children, in terms of playing and being silly; however, there’s a time and a place for that. When it comes to actually raising their kids, making big decisions, or modeling behavior, parents have to be mature, responsible adults. I’m not sure what the mother of this guy’s baby is doing, but clearly, she’s acting childish in regards to parenting, so much so that he wishes his baby had a different mom. Trying to juggle an actual child with an adult who acts like one must be so hard… Hopefully this mom matures quickly so their child can have two parents to rely on, instead of one parent and one fellow-kid.
11 The Better Role Model
Sure, nature plays a big part in child rearing. Genetics can predispose kids to certain conditions and affect their looks, brains and behavior. However, when it comes to attitudes and actions, it’s more about nurture than nature. Just because a child’s biological father may not be the best role model, it doesn’t mean that the child will have to suffer horrible consequences. In the case of this whisper confession, this kid is lucky to have a great role model in his future stepfather. While sure, I can understand why this mom wishes her child were biologically her fiancé’s, I hope that she realizes that she – and her son – are blessed to have a great man in their lives. This amazing stepfather will likely have much more influence over the child than his biological father will.
10 Growing Up
People tend to adopt the attitudes and perceptions of the people they spend a lot of time with. Have you ever hung out with someone really negative, and felt that you, too, were starting to be really negative? Well, the same is true for children; actually, it’s even truer. Children follow in the footsteps of their parents. Their views and actions are influenced and largely shaped by them. If a parent is full of hate and is constantly tense, well, chances are pretty good that their children are going to be the same way. This father fears that because his son’s mother is so tense and negative, his son’s childhood – and ultimately, his adulthood – are going to be seriously damaged. He's not wrong to be worried. We can only hope that dad can introduce more calm and positivity to his son's life.
9 A Wish To Start Over
Sadly, marriage doesn’t always work out the way that couples hope it will. Even if a guy seems like he would be the perfect husband and father, reality can be a rude awakening. Unfortunately, many women realize that the men they married are quite the opposite of who they hoped they would be. This mom has clearly learned that her husband’s top priority is work, not his family. While yes, money is important, it isn’t the most important thing in the world - family is. And though he may be so focused on work because he wants to support his family, wives and children need more than just financial support; they also need emotional support, and clearly, this mom feels like her husband isn’t providing that for her or their daughter.
8 The Mommy Trap
Too many people assume that because they have a child with someone, they have to stick it out, even if the relationship is bad. They think that it’s better to stay with their partner than break things off because it’s better for the kids if mommy and daddy are “together.” In truth, however, it’s actually worse for parents to stay together for the sake of the children. If mom and dad are constantly fighting and don’t respect each other, the kids are going to pick up on it. They may end up developing animosity toward one parent, or they may think that relationships are “supposed” to be that way, which means that they could end up in volatile relationships themselves. This mom feels stuck, but ending the relationship with her partner would probably be better for her – and her child.
7 Two Faces
It’s totally true that being in a bad relationship can directly affect who you are, as a person. Even the nicest, sweetest, kindest and most patient person can become full of animosity and rage if she is in a bad relationship. Whether the father of this mother’s child is disrespectful, rude, doesn’t put her first, or is verbally, emotionally, or physically abusive, whatever the case may be, she feels like he makes her a bad person, and that it’s affecting who she is as a mother. She is likely so consumed with the issues in her relationship and how the father of her child makes her feel, which prevents her from being able to give her son the best of her. She must have a lot of regrets. It's awful to feel like you're failing as a parent because of personal problems in your relationship.
6 Like Mother Like Daughter
Children are a reflection of their parents; this is especially true for mothers and daughters. If a mom feels like she is worthless and is constantly putting herself down, there’s a pretty good chance that her daughter is going to feel the same way about herself. I’m not sure what the situation is here, but I’d venture to guess that mom points out her flaws and perhaps even body shames herself. If that’s the case, then chances are that her daughter is doing the same thing. This dad has noticed that the mother’s self-loathing is rubbing off on his daughter, and he feels like it’s impossible to stop. I hope he realizes that he can step in and build his daughter up instead of letting her succumb to the actions and attitudes of her mother. Moms need to be more careful about how their negative self-talk is affecting not only themselves, but their families.
5 Kids Don’t Fix Relationships
Sadly, a lot of people who are in bad relationships assume that having a child will mend things. They believe that a child will magically correct any underlying issues that exist within the relationship; but nothing could be further from the truth. While sure, both parents may love the child unconditionally, parenting is super hard. It’s so hard, in fact, that it can actually strain relationships that were strong and healthy before the baby arrived. If mom and dad have problems, they often get worse when a baby is in the picture. And, to add insult to injury, those existing issues are further compounded by the challenges that come along with raising a child. Kids aren’t band-aids for a relationship, and unfortunately, this mom realized that after her and her partner had a child.
4 When The Game Comes First
When a man becomes a father, his child should automatically become his first priority. Nobody is saying that he should give up the things that he loves, but his child should certainly come before them. That doesn’t seem to be the case with the father that this mom is talking about. Judging from this whisper confession, he is more interested in his hobbies than he is in his children. I can only imagine how that must make her – and her children – feel. She probably has so much on her plate because she’s likely trying to pick up the father’s slack, and she surely feels terrible for her kids because their father doesn’t put them first. Maybe it’s time for her to tell him to buck up or get packing… It's not fair that she has to be both mom and dad so that this slacker can beat his top score on Zelda.
3 His Reflection
It’s hard enough to look into the face of someone that you don’t like, but to look into the face of someone that you love unconditionally, only to see the face of someone that you despise looking back at you must be horrible! A mother is supposed to look into the face of her children and be filled with so much joy and love, not feel hostility. Unfortunately, when she looks at the faces of her sweet twins, no matter how cute they may be, and how much she may love them, she still can’t help but see their father looking back at her, which must enrage her. It must make her so infuriated, in fact, that she wishes that someone else was their father. It's tough when you have children with someone you despise because you become tied to that person for life - in more ways than one.
Parents are their children’s biggest role models. The decisions that mom and dad make and the way that they act majorly influence their children, not only while they are young, but for the rest of their lives. One of the most dramatic ways that parents can influence their children is how they view themselves, and how they view others.
This mom wishes the father of her daughter were someone else because of the way dad makes mom feel – worthless. Perhaps he is disrespectful to her, or maybe he doesn’t consider her at all; whatever the case may be, this mom’s whisper confession highlights how children are influenced by their parents actions. She is afraid that her daughter will grow up and choose men that make her feel worthless, like dad makes mom feel.
They say it takes a village to raise a child. And while it might not actually take an entire village, extended family often plays a huge part in raising a child. They can offer a tremendous amount of help, and they provide a firm foundation for children. However, if mom or dad doesn’t get along with their other half’s family, well, it could be disastrous. This mom hates her boyfriend’s family, so much so that she wishes she had had her child with someone else. That’s a pretty good indication of how bad her relationship is with them. The relationship is likely volatile, which could very well mean that it is affecting her parenting, and even sadder, it is very likely affecting the child! Finding yourself as a mom in the midst of messy relationships is a tough job. Hopefully this mom finds a way to deal with her extended family before it ends up impacting her life or her child's in a serious way.