It's hard to make it through life without any regrets. These men are living proof. These guys have so many issues with their wives, girlfriends, or exes pregnancies. In many cases, they also have issues with themselves. These dudes are carrying a ton of emotional baggage.
Whisper is a place where people can vent in a private way. Men go there to let others know how they are feeling on the inside while their partners are pregnant, or shortly after they become dads. They may also be looking for support and a chat with other anonymous posters on Whisper.
Some of the guys who have regrets never got to become fathers at all, even though their significant others were expecting babies.
The problem with these guys is that they don't really express their feelings to the women who need to hear the truth the most. In other words, they keep their angst inside, except for their desperate, unsigned Whisper confessions.
They don't tell their pregnant partners what's going on inside of them.
In some cases, these guys may be smart to stay quiet, because their thoughts are so dark and negative. However, most of these men would benefit from getting the truth out there. When people bottle up their regrets, they come out somehow, someday. When will these guys finally let loose and tell their ladies everything they are thinking?
17 At Least He's Sorry
This guy didn't seem to have a conscience while his wife was pregnant. Now, he seems to have grown a conscience. I'm pretty skeptical about the sincerity of this confession. What this guy did was really bad and yet, he did it over and over again. While he may have changed, in my experience, guys like this always go back to being bad.
Should he tell his wife what he did? Not sure. This is a tricky one, because, by now, there is surely a baby involved who is innocent and needs a mother and father. The fallout from telling the truth could be extremely nasty. On the other hand, staying married to someone and carrying around this type of a secret is really nasty, too.
Did the stress of the prospect of becoming a dad make this guy freak out and chase after other women? It might have. He didn't handle the stress in a mature way. Imagine what his wife would think if she knew everything.
16 She's Playing Him
This guy is regretting his relationship with his pregnant GF, because she's pregnant and he had a vasectomy. He's wondering if she's carrying another guy's baby. It's possible, although improbable, that his vasectomy failed somehow and the baby is his. However, it's just as possible that his GF got with another man and then got pregnant.
It's a bit shady that he never told his partner he had a vasectomy. What's up with that?
This is a serious issue. His trust level is extremely low and he does have a good reason to be suspicious. Trouble ahead for this pair! Maybe when the baby is born, he'll decide to get a DNA test. He might also go to the doctor before his girlfriend gives birth and find out whether his vasectomy didn't quite "take".
If the vasectomy is deemed to be successful by a physician, and this may have already happened, there's going to be some drama for this doomed couple in the near future. Few men can forgive this type of stuff, and this man doesn't seem like someone who will.
15 A Bad Situation
This one is really bad. He got married to her because she was pregnant. He tried to do the right thing, but his heart belongs to another woman and has belonged to another woman for ten long years. What a disaster. Sometimes, we try to do what's right, but we really make things worse. How long can this guy live a lie? How long can he "do his duty" by playing the family man, when, deep down inside, he's wishing that he was with someone else.
Life is full of pain and it's safe to say that this guy and his pregnant wife are going to have a very uncomfortable conversation at some point in the future, whether it's during the pregnancy or afterward. Things have a way of coming out. It's possible that his wife already knows that there is something very wrong with the relationship.
14 It's Not Love
This is a rough one, too. She didn't tell the truth about using birth control and now she's pregnant. She's going to have his baby. He feels like a terrible person because he can't stand her anymore.
These two are married. You'd think he'd anticipate having babies with her during the marriage, but it seems like this definitely wasn't a part of his master plan. Maybe the couple had a "no babies" agreement and then she had a change of heart. Maybe she's not lying like he thinks? It's possible that her birth control failed. This does happen.
Once again, trust issues are becoming weapons of mass destruction in this relationship. If you can't trust your spouse, who can you trust? When trust dies, the ability to forgive, which is so essential in loving another person, tends to die too.
13 She's In Jail
His pregnant wife is in the slammer and he's regretting the fact that she had to go through labor in prison. He wasn't there because they didn't let him know she was giving birth.
This is terrible, but I guess the jail staff isn't legally forced to notify fathers-to-be. He's living out an Orange Is the New Black-style of marriage and that is depressing. It must be pretty weird having a partner who's in lock-up, but I guess a lot of people do have partners in prison. When the partners are pregnant, it's all pretty complicated.
It's horrible that he couldn't be there to meet his baby and give his wife support. He'll regret this forever and that's understandable. Let's hope his wife doesn't re-offend after she gets out of the slammer.
12 All Downhill
Men value their intimate lives greatly. When women are pregnant and they aren't as interested in getting busy, men may store up some regrets.
Sure, it's only nine months, but that feels like an eternity for most guys, who are loaded up with testosterone that makes them frisky.
Some pregnant women love getting close to their partners in bed, while others are just trying to cope with the changes that are happening to their bodies. Every pregnant woman is different. Some have morning sickness and some feel great. Some gain just a little weight and others blow up like crazy.
This guy's pregnant wife lost her libido and he's not happy. It would be nice if he was a bit more understanding, but maybe he's sweet to his pregnant partner in real life.
11 A Tough Choice
An adoption is an act of love in many cases. For example, when parents-to-be can't handle the financial or emotional responsibility of parenting, and they decide to put their baby up for adoption once it's born, they are usually making a mature choice. It's far from a cop-out. Giving up a baby hurts. The parents do it because they want the best life for their baby and they don't think that they can provide that kind of life.
This guy gave his daughter up for adoption. Now, he's tormented by regret. He's probably wishing that he could be there for his little girl every day and night. There's really no going back from adoption. Hopefully, it's an open adoption and he'll be able to have contact with his daughter.
This is a sad Whisper. His heartbreak comes through loud and clear.
10 An Autistic Baby
Autism is strongly genetic. This guy is diagnosed with autism. He told his wife that he was worried about passing on autism to their baby, but she went ahead with the pregnancy anyway. Now, their child has been diagnosed with autism.
The best thing that this guy can do is to stop considering autism to be bad. He needs to stop hating God because God makes no mistakes. People with autism have their own gifts and they are worthy of respect, love, and success. It's true that they may have more challenges, but they are special and valuable all the same.
In time, this guy will probably let go of his regrets and just focus on giving his son as much love and support as he can. That will be the path to happiness for the whole family. As for his wife, who didn't give any weight to his concerns, she's probably paying the price now, because her husband is angry and she's got a lot on her plate. But, it's safe to say that she adores her autistic child. Why wouldn't she? It's her little baby.
9 Another Woman
If this guy really was on a break with his wife and then got another lady pregnant, he's not the Antichrist. It was a one night stand which resulted in unplanned fatherhood. It happens every day of the week, but it's probably quite a shock when it happens.
This guy is feeling regret because he's unsure about how to tell his wife. He's probably wondering if his marriage is destined to die because he spent just one night (and probably a drunken night) with another woman and then impregnated her.
His concerns and fears are valid. Gwen Stefani found out that her then-husband, Gavin Rossdale, got another woman pregnant years before they met. Gavin claims he didn't know he was the father until his daughter was much older. But does Gwen believe him? Even though he wasn't married to Gwen when this happened, the fact that it was secret and all came out in the press was alleged to make Gwen very upset and uneasy. Gwen and Gavin are now kaput.
8 It Happened Too Soon
This couple just got married and now she's pregnant, just a couple of weeks after tying the knot. The couple wasn't planning this and their whole life together is now going to change. It's sad that neither of them is happy about it. It's just a bad situation. Hopefully, they love each other enough to recognize that the baby is a gift and a part of both of them. They have options and they'll have to choose what's best for them.
We tend to think of marriage as a wife and husband and a child or children. In other words, babies follow weddings. However, some couples don't want the white picket fence and 2.5 kids. There are as many different styles of marriages as there are couples. No two marriages are exactly alike.
7 She Lied About It
Wow, this one is extremely disturbing. His wife got pregnant and then probably panicked or something. She decided to get an abortion without telling her husband, even though her husband knew that she was expecting. Then, she passed off the abortion as a miscarriage, but later told him the truth.
This guy is filled with regret because he clearly wanted the baby. He likely also feels extremely betrayed by his partner, who was, according to him, very dishonest about the chain of events.
He's hiring a divorce lawyer, so he's definitely done. Most people don't phone divorce lawyers unless they've already checked out of their marriages one hundred percent. His wife's actions are going to have consequences. However, this couple probably wasn't meant to be anyway. They were not on the same page about very important things.
6 She Doesn't Want His Baby
This guy believes that his pregnant wife doesn't want to have his baby. He feels sadness and regret because she's so different from other pregnant wives, who are joyful about having their husband's babies. It does kind of suck that he has to be with someone who isn't happy about having his baby. He probably wants more of a fairy tale experience and he is not getting it.
Maybe his wife is just suffering in pregnancy and her discomfort is making her feel negative about everything? Maybe she's scared of childbirth and the pain that it will bring. Maybe she's worried about money, or losing her freedom, or a million other things.
This couple needs to talk. It's possible that she'll change as she gets closer to her due date, but this guy needs some love and support too, and he's not getting what he needs.
5 It's Not Making Him Happy
This dude is just generally not happy that his wife is pregnant. He doesn't go into any specifics, so we have to use our imaginations in order to figure out why he's unhappy.
Maybe the relationship wasn't going too well when she got pregnant. Maybe he feels like he's never going to be free again. Maybe he's thinking about all of the money that he'll need to earn and spend in order to care for the family.
So many worried thoughts may be going through his mind. Nonetheless, his baby is on the way. He needs to find a way to make peace with it.
The other possibility is that he's just a selfish guy who doesn't want the responsibility of being a parent. Only time will tell if this man comes to terms with what's happening and steps up to become a wonderful dad.
4 A Tinder "Friend"
This guy used Tinder to form a lightning-fast connection. He probably didn't expect it to be a lifetime connection, but now it is, because his Tinder "friend" is now expecting his baby! Talk about a big surprise!
He doesn't sound irate. He's not dissing the girl. He's just mulling over things in his mind. She sent him a text to tell him what's happening and he is just at a loss for words. It's obvious that he's feeling regret, but he's also trying to figure out what the right thing to say is. The longer he waits, the worse it will be for everyone.
We're programmed to feel lust and desire for the purpose of reproduction. However, many people don't want to reproduce...especially with brand-new Tinder "buddies". This is why birth control is so important.
3 Another Guy's Baby
Maybe this guy tried to be the ultimate sweetheart by proposing to a woman who was carrying another guy's baby. It's pretty unusual for a man to marry a woman who's carrying another man's child, but it's not unheard of. I think there's a romantic comedy where this happened, but I can't remember the title.
If there isn't a rom-com about this, there should be.
Unfortunately, this guy isn't living out the romantic comedy happy ending. He's feeling regret and the baby isn't here yet. My hope is that he'll fall in love with the baby (babies are adorable) once it's born and this will heal his pain and help him be a good husband and father. There could be a bad outcome, but maybe things will be ok in the end.
2 This Should Have Been Consensual
This sounds dubious. How did she force him? Was she holding him at gunpoint? Sometimes, men do sound like idiots and I think this guy does sound a bit ridiculous. Maybe by, "forced", he means that his ex begged him to get her pregnant, or seduced him, or something.
It's kind of hard to force a guy, so I think he has to take some responsibility here. He says she not only forced him, but kept the baby later. Men do have rights, so, if this is true, he needs to get a good lawyer. If it's his baby, he has a right to see the infant. Does he want to see the infant? If so, he should get off of Whisper.sh and get on the phone to an attorney.
1 Doesn't Deserve Any Sympathy
Is this really true? I have to say, I don't believe everything that I read on Whisper and neither should you. Let's assume this guy is on that level. His wife is pregnant and he's in bed with not just one, but two, women. He gets a call while he's frolicking with these ladies in a hotel room. His wife has gone into labor. He says he "feels guilty". Um. ok.
He may have felt some guilt, but really, he's not a guy who is guilt-ridden as a rule, or he wouldn't have been cheating on his pregnant wife so aggressively. Hopefully, he managed to pull on some pants on and made it to the hospital before his child was born. Hopefully, his baby will never need to hear about what Dad was doing while he or she was getting ready to enter the world for the first time.