17Tanya - My Life Disappeared

Shortly into her life, Tanya’s daughter had earned herself diagnoses ranging from chairi malformation and brain lesions to central apnea and Sensory Processing Disorder. Tanya said something to me that really resonated and that I think all special needs parents can relate to.

She said, “As life has done on with

all of her therapies and appointments (most weeks 8 or more) I feel like my life has slowly disappeared.”

Isn’t that the truth? Kids of any kind take up a lot of time, but to a special needs child, parents are the oxygen tank. Our work never stops. She resents that she has no time for friends and feels like those she has tried to maintain never really understood what she was going through.

There’s a reason most special needs parents end up congregating with others who have like issues. She hates her messy house and how she never has time to shower. It struck a chord with me when she remarked about how it can be hard to even find time to cook dinner some nights, much less eat it.

This is the reality of a house with a special needs child in it. Most people who see Tanya, would probably never know she got two hours of sleep last night and has endured two doctor’s appointments, therapy and three meltdowns all before lunch. It might’ve taken six clothing changes for her daughter to get out the door because nothing felt right.

She wishes she had some quiet time and normalcy.

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