There is one guilty pleasure that many a mom and dad might resort to when raising a little one. And that guilty pleasure they enjoy indulging so often is passing the buck when it comes to the blame game.
Mom is not always blaming dad, and dad isn’t always blaming mom. And the baby is of course too young to understand the fine points of pitting their parents against one another to get their way, as cute as they are.
The reason that so many unforeseen catastrophes take place for mom, dad, and within the home, which usually had some warning signs clearly showing themselves before disaster struck, is all to be blamed on none other than… the baby.
Yes, that angelic little cherub of a tiny human, with the most powerful of lungs, when hungry, tired, or is in need of a nappy change is the reason that homes look like tornadoes have passed through. If mom is running late to a meeting, or the baby is showing some bad habits much to the chagrin of whoever points it out, it’s always blamed on the baby.
It can be tough owning up to making mistakes and having accountability, even if it involves one's own offspring. Parents will and do make mistakes, and too often the baby is blamed. However, realizing how parenting mistakes impact the baby can be corrected if only parents are willing to embrace humility.
17 Running Late Because Of Poor Planning
Let’s face it, babies and children require that mom add at a minimum of at least 2 to 3 hours to their preparation time to leave for an event.
Whether it is running off to a playdate, or having to drop the little ones off somewhere before heading to a meeting for work, if a mom is not careful, she can quickly find herself running late.
Of course, mom and dad can both pass the blame on the kids keeping them up last night, so everyone woke up late. Mom might have to double back and grab a must-have item to keep a tot quiet unless they are willing to put up with screaming in the car or stroller.
When it comes to doing anything outside of the house with a child, be it going to the grocery store, visiting grandparents, or having a day at the park, there must be planning.
Moms who fail to plan out enough time to adequately get both baby and themselves ready before heading out the door may be subject to walking back home in soiled clothes because there wasn’t an extra set to change into, running out of diapers, wet wipes, and snacks, or forgetting that toy that the little one can’t stop asking about no matter what.
16 Parents Drifting Apart
As cute as the idea of starting a family is, it can really put a serious dent on a relationship. Babies require a lot of attention during the first years of their life. Raising a little one takes a lot of patience, effort, resources, and planning.
Rushing into parenthood, thinking of only the positives of having a baby, and not being prepared for the onslaught of stress, exhaustion, lack of sleep, and having to multi-task and share responsibilities around the home can put a strain on couples.
Mom doesn’t have to consider rushing out to a couple’s counselor as soon as problems come up, but having clear and effective communication, empathy, and patience is key to keeping the relationship going strong.
Babies will throw up, make explosive diapers, and keep mom or dad up so long that no one might be interested in intimacy time later. Some mothers can be so into their children, that they forget that their significant others need some personal time and attention too.
Mom and her significant other should make time to schedule date nights, plan times to communicate their feelings, and try not to go to sleep angry at night. Yes, the baby will need attention and resources, but the baby should not learn to be the center of attention all the time.
If mom ignore their significant other, and no one talks about any emerging issues regarding physical interaction, a lack of conversation, or other issues, it can lead to relationship issues quickly.
15 Not Getting Enough Sleep Or Personal Time
It’s time for mothers to give themselves a much-deserved break, instead of forcing themselves to accept a life of motherhood that revolves around the needs of the baby, the significant other, and work.
Mothers are human beings too, and they need time to get away from the baby, catch up on sleep, and dive into a personal vocation or hobby that brings them a moment of zen.
And moms, when you give yourself permission to take a break for some personal time, you have to check any and all sense of guilt at the door.
A mom’s personal time is a must-have for any mom’s schedule, whether she is a stay-at-home-mom, working mom, or a Jill-of-all-trades.
Contrary to society’s pressure on mother’s to emulate some type of superwoman that lives on little sleep, always has perfect coifed hair, and juggles work, her significant other, and the baby like magic is an illusion.
Mom’s need their sleep to function as much as their tots need naptime to thrive. Moms should be allowed, or give themselves permission, to get away for a spa day, get a massage, break out a book, soak in a bubble bath, or fashion some type of retreat to recharge their batteries. A break now and then is needed for a mom to regroup parenting ideas and enjoy a different type of mental space for a few hours, or more than a day when possible.
14 The House Looks A Wreck
Motherhood is heck of a lot of work. Even a mother wants to be a supermom, conqeuering work life, balancing home life, and raising their child to the best of their ability, something is going to have to give.
Moms must realize that they are human, and the people who choose to judge other mothers should be more empathetic and employ some common sense and tact. No one person should be held liable to take on so much work, and still manage to keep their sanity, energy levels, and sense of well-being intact.
Little ones are adorable, but they can certainly test a mom’s patience from time to time. Living on little sleep, worrying to make sure that the baby is fed, bathed, clothed, and comfortable enough can leave a mother ignoring her own personal needs.
Some mothers do believe that being a mom is about self-sacrifice, but with all due respect, mothers deserve a lot of respect and help if they really make an earnest effort to do all that they can for their child, home, and even bending a bit for society.
If the house is a wreck, it is easy to blame the baby. However, mom should take help whenever offered, or whenever possible.
Most people understand that it is nearly impossible to have an immaculate home if you have kids. So moms should give themselves a break, but not let things get too out of control, too often.
13 Baby Has Bad Sleeping Habits
Babies may have been able to have free reign with their sleeping habits while in the womb, but once the baby is out in the real world, mom is going to have to make sure she stays consistent with a sleep schedule.
If a baby is allowed to skip out on taking naps, or frequently stays up too late repeatedly, the baby might have really bad habits about going to bed.
Some babies fare better if they co-sleep with mom in a safe manner because if the baby is closer to mom they will feel more at ease to go to sleep. Some babies do well going to sleep in the baby bouncer, a swing, or with a cuddly item to soothe them to dreamland.
Caution should be taken if the baby goes to sleep in containers, rather than being put to bed in a more proper space like a crib or bassinet. Honestly, babies and older children both do much better with sleep and life if they have consistency with their schedules, and some firm boundaries set in place by their parents.
Even if mom and baby are both night owls burning the midnight oil, the baby needs their sleep at the appropriate hours to meet milestones, stay healthy, and not be so cranky. Plus, mom can catch up on whatever she likes when the baby is fast asleep napping or in bed for the night.
12 Super Clingy Baby
Babies are not accessories. And babies should not be created solely to fulfill a believed requirement to be a woman, or an adult by others. Babies need attention and love to thrive.
Babies need enough positive interaction physically, emotionally, and socially from a loving parent to develop specific life skills.
If a baby is frequently left to their own devices to cry themselves to sleep, are only to be entertained with toys or television, and don’t get to experience meaningful conversation time, tummy time, or touch with mom and others, it can lead to disaster.
Not only can a baby have challenges with achieving milestones with developing language and using gestures, the baby might end up more cranky, lashing out in frustration and crying, or be withdrawn.
Babies can also become super clingy to anyone or anything that shows them affection, attention, and gives genuine good vibes. Super clingy behavior can blossom into other detrimental things, such as a lack of coping skills for disappointments, behavioral problems, and failure to meet social and motor skill milestones.
A television show, film, smartphone app, and toys are not a replacement for mom’s attention. Even though babies can’t physically say it, they fully understand the need for nurturing, affection, and physical interaction to learn, grow, and develop into more well-adjusted children.
11 Attached To The Bottle As A Comfort Item
Moms don’t just have to look out for a baby comforting themselves with thumb sucking, latching onto a binkie, or dragging around a blanket. The baby can also turn to the baby bottle in times of need for comfort, especially if mom is distant, never around, or too busy to make time for baby.
Shockingly enough, babies can be thrust too often and too long into the hands of caregivers, daycares, or the television as a babysitter. Although babies need food to live and grow, they also need time for personal one-on-one interaction with mom.
Playtime is not just a time to goof off with silly songs, dance moves, and storytime. Playtime is critical to a baby’s development of social and motor skills. It’s one thing if a baby is hungry, or has an increase in feedings because of a growth spurt. And some babies get attached to falling asleep with their baby bottle.
But even if a baby has put on a healthy amount of weight, and has a regular amount of wet and soiled diapers, a lack of loving attention from mom can encourage baby to use suckling on a baby bottle as a replacement.
Some things just cannot replace the nurturing and attention time spent on the baby from their mom.
10 Baby's Too Small
Life doesn’t get any easier as we get older, and when a lady becomes a mom, things become even more real when it involves children.
Making sure that a baby gets enough nutritious food to eat is a matter of healthy brain development, supporting a baby’s immune system, and encouraging adequate growth and milestone achievements.
Some babies might be picky eaters or go through phases where they don’t want to eat certain things for a few months. As long as a baby is making their weight requirements, and make enough wet and soiled diapers, mom shouldn’t panic too much.
However, if a baby is underweight, mom might be at fault.
Moms should get help with keeping track of how often their baby nurses or takes a bottle. If the baby is not ready for solid foods, they might not be getting enough nourishment if mom tries to coerce baby to eat them.
If mom thinks that the baby is overweight and needs to be on a diet, she should consult the pediatrician first. Babies do lose a bit of weight shortly after birth, but they soon pick it back up and more, if mom continues to consistently breastfeed, or bottle-feed her babe.
A mom ignoring a baby’s habits and needs is not an excuse and can endanger a little one.
9 Baby Doesn’t Try Babbling, Just Cries For Communication
You know the ear-splitting piercing cry of an upset baby in a heartbeat. There isn’t a mother alive who doesn’t immediately pause and then jump into action to soothe a hurt, scared, or angry baby. It’s hardwired by Mother Nature.
However, at some point, the baby should be trying to make oohs, ahhs, and cooing noises in responses to mom, dad, siblings, and others who talk to the baby. If a baby never tries babbling, even if it is incoherent but full of energy, it might be worth checking out.
By the time a baby reaches 9 months, they should be able to use at least a few words.
According to Babble, mom should let the baby keep the conversation going to encourage the baby to work on language skills. Mom and dad should pause between speaking to their little one so that the baby learns the importance of call-and-response, and coo, giggle and make noises in return to their parent’s words.
As silly as it might seem for some adults, it is essential that the baby gets adequate conversation time with mom and others. Babies do learn by watching, listening, and mimicking what they see. If the baby never has a heart-to-heart conversation with mom, they are less likely to try to test out their verbal skills.
8 Baby Left With Screens Too Often And Doesn’t Want To Be Social
Although there are plenty of television channels dedicated to children, touting the benefits of their educational programming, it is not a substitute for adult interaction. Even interaction with other young children and babies is good for a little one’s development, versus being sat in front of the tube. Educational shows for toddlers and little ones do have their benefits, but there are even greater benefits reaped when parents sit down and read to their kids.
According to an article on NPR, when a child is read a story that includes the use of pictures, their brain begins to make connections to the story, the pictures, and the words to understand the meaning.
If a child is simply exposed to audio and video via films, television shows, and apps, it might be too much for a little one to process.
If the baby is often left to fend for themselves with the television, smartphone, or tablet to occupy their time, they are less likely to be verbal or interact socially with others.
Babies may be withdrawn, slow to react to certain situations, and may develop language skills at a slower pace than peers who were not babysat by the television. Babies are better able to develop their social skills and language skills if they can display call-and-response to mom and dad’s speech, or have to interact physically with others.
7 Baby Never Gets Opportunity To Move On Their Own
The thought of a little one tumbling off of the couch, hurting themselves on the sharp edge of a table, or wandering into a space they shouldn’t cause a mom to panic.
However, if a mom takes the precautions to baby-proof the house, and makes time to supervise their child, there is no reason the baby shouldn’t be allowed to crawl around and explore.
A baby actually needs time to explore, pick up items, and scoot around to strengthen their muscles, learn about the world around them, and thrive.
Helicopter moms may have good intentions of protecting their children from danger, but they can actually do a huge disservice to their little one if they never let their child do some things for themselves.
According to She Knows, Kayte Lagner says that tummy time aids in the development of a baby’s muscle and bone strength in the head, neck, and core. If baby never gets to challenge their body, they can’t develop properly.
In order for a tot to learn how to hold their head up unassisted, or attempt to stand up on their own two feet, they are going to have to struggle a bit physically. If mom doesn’t let baby get enough tummy time, because of some unfounded fear of sudden danger for baby, the baby might have a hard time meeting physical milestones like crawling, scooting, and eventually walking.
6 Too Many Sweet Bribes Lead To Bad Teeth, Spoiled, Big Baby
You don’t ever really hear a mom talking about their baby saying how much they would love if they were spoiled.
However, some moms can’t help but give in to the whims of their little one, whether to hush them up at an inopportune moment or because they worry they are being too strict with their child.
A little sugar might not be too detrimental on a child, but if mom is always caving to an outburst of tears, grabbing hands, or use sweets as a reward for good behavior, they could be sending their little one mixed messages.
Sugar is a highly addictive substance. And sugar also contributes to destroying tooth enamel, causes blood sugar levels to spike and quickly drop, and can lead to poor health.
Mom doesn’t have to restrict their little one to only eating bland snack crackers, or veggies without condiments as a snack if they are eating solid foods. However, mom should remember moderation is key.
Children thrive on routines and quickly learn what to expect from their parents by observing their behaviors, and responses to their actions. Moms who quickly run for the nearest convenience snack, dole out generous portions of cakes, ice cream, and bites of candy bars might be visiting the pediatrician and dentist for their child’s future health problems if they aren’t careful.
5 Co-Sleeping Goes On Too Long
Co-sleeping has its benefits when it comes to rearing a child. Children who co-sleep often have better sleep quality, and it reduces nighttime separation anxiety, according to Mom Junction. According to Romper, children who co-sleep have higher levels of self-esteem, are better behaved in school and are quick to become independent sooner.
However, as awesome as it is that children can reap so many helpful things from co-sleeping, at some point, mom is going to want her space back. Seriously. How many times should a mom have to put up with waking up to a foot in her face, or a baby curled up on top of a pillow above her head?
Some mothers believe in toughing things out for the long-haul, until their little one is an older toddler, before putting co-sleeping to an end. Some tots actually do manage to wean themselves off of co-sleeping, and actively seek out their own bed for naptimes and at night, without mom having to intervene.
If the baby doesn’t learn how to self-soothe and go to sleep without having mom close by, it can be more than a pain training a child to sleep soundly in their own bed.
When co-sleeping has to come to an end, mom will need an action plan and patience to help their child adjust. Unless mom doesn’t mind sleeping on a bed with a rubber sheet underneath.
4 Comparing The Baby To Others Leads To Unnecessary Stress
Nobody’s baby is that perfect, amazing, or awesome as your baby as a mother. And mothers need to check themselves and others before they get sucked into a vortex of comparing, gossiping, and questioning their mothering skills and their baby’s development.
All babies deserve the chance to develop at their own pace, and are subject to varying parenting styles based on a mother’s ideas about what they think is healthy, proper, or fitting for their child. Some babies will learn how to walk as young as 7 to 9 months, while other babies will struggle to get the hang of things until they are closer to 12 months.
Moms should avoid making the mistake of blaming the baby for any perceived shortcomings. And moms should not necessarily put all the blame on themselves, or the child’s father either.
Yes, some health conditions, defects, and delays may be a result of genetics or influences during a pregnancy. But, sometimes life and its unpredictabilities just happen, without a clear answer.
Comparison and competition to one-up other mother’s about the baby is detrimental to happiness and isn’t doing the baby any favors. Focusing on the baby’s health, creating a healthy and productive life, and maintaining a level head uses a mom’s energy in a better way.
3 Baby Is A Biter
Some babies will give in to the urge to scream and throw things for attention, while others will break out into a pouty face with the saddest puppy dog eyes ever seen.
But some babies manage to go through a phase during transitioning between an infant to a toddler that can leave moms, and others reeling. I’m talking about biting.
Some babies bite because they have a short temper. Other babies might bite fingers, toes, arms, and noses because they are simply curious, or want to get a point across that they are still present in the room and need attention right now. Whatever the case, a baby biter needs to get a behavior adjustment, because biting is unsanitary, hurts and can leave more than just red marks.
Teething babies should be given appropriate teething toys. And sometimes a cold carrot or celery stick can prove helpful in place of more conventional teething toys.
According to Parents.com, babies do typically go through a phase of biting. However, if the baby is smiling when knowingly being aggressive, and repeatedly hearing “No!” this could be a sign of expressing emotions, personality, or an impulsive behavior. If a child is older than 12 months and is continually biting, assessment by a behavioral psychologist may be helpful.
2 Staying Inside All The Time
Being a stay-at-home-mom, or just coming home with a newborn can contribute to a mother spending a lot of time indoors with the baby. However, at some point, mom really needs to do a self-assessment to make sure she gets enough time outdoors too.
After the baby turns about 2 to 3 months, they should be given daily time outdoors for some fresh air. Mom can enjoy jogging or light walking with the baby in a stroller, or even get comfortable taking the baby out for a short drive or make a trip to the local grocery store.
It can be easy for mom to become frumpy, live for days on end wearing the same crusty pajamas, living on coffee, and finding entertainment via daytime soap operas and celebrity gossip.
Seriously, if motherhood was all about becoming some strange style of hermit with a hungry, bawling, tiny human attached, I’d like to think most would agree that is some sick sort of punishment or torture.
Moms should feel free to get out, embrace the perks of being a mom, and enjoy time out with other mothers, friends, or just with herself and her baby.
Plus, indoor air can have more contaminants from cleaning agents, dust bunnies, and become staler than outdoor air pretty quickly. Occasionally getting outside of the house is good for both mom and baby’s health, especially if mom doesn’t have an air purifier.
1 Letting Baby Make Too Many Decisions
It is understandable that many adults may occasionally deal with hurt feelings about their parents’ parenting styles that may surface, and thus want to have a good relationship with their kids.
However, being a parent doesn’t mean trying to do anything and everything to get their kid to like them, and to give into a little one’s whims and temper tantrums out of fear that they will end up being scarred for life if mom says no.
Depending on how the age and development of a little one, some moms do feel comfortable allowing their kids to take part in the decision making process about the choice of snacks, clothes, toys, and tv time.
Giving a child too many choices too soon, or always giving control over to a little one is more harmful than good.
Children lack the specific skills and life experiences to discern what is necessary, healthy, or right for their lives. In the meantime, it’s up to mom to make the best decisions for their little ones to develop into well-adjusted children and adults.
Spoiling and caving into a child, and never giving a child the structure and consistency they need to succeed can have seriously negative effects later in life.