In the storybook version, it goes one way.
In real life, it sometimes goes another.
Sure, there are some of us out there who get married or settle down with a committed partner, decide on the right time to start a family, and begin to make babies together. Sometimes all of this is even accompanied by white weddings, picket fences, and beautiful baby showers. And then, sometimes… it’s not.
Look around in your own life, and surely not every child came into this world out of such picture-perfect circumstances.
There are one-night stands that lead to unexpected children. There are unfaithful partners who stray and end up reproducing by accident. There are couples who are broken up and yet expecting a baby together. There are times when one partner wants a child and the other doesn’t. There are instances of birth control failing – or not being used correctly, or, yep, even being intentionally sabotaged.
All this goes to show that of course — of course — sometimes one half of a pair who has, ahem, coupled wants to have the baby while the other, quite simply, does not.
Some people use the Whisper app to divulge a little bit of everything, and here are 18 confessions from men who just didn’t want the baby.
18 Clueless Chap
So this guy has a committed partner. He refers to her as his significant other. And now, she is pregnant.
What he admits is that when he looks down deep inside, he realizes that he really just wishes that he wasn’t about to become a dad. He doesn’t have any idea what he’s doing, and the prospect of being forced to figure it all out is just a bit too much for this bloke.
Side note: He appears to be rather clueless with punctuation, as well.
What anyone out there who has ever become a parent may be thinking here, though, is that no new parent really knows exactly what they’re doing on the road that leads to parenthood.
You can take classes. You can read books. Maybe you’ve gotten to hang out around a couple other babies, such as those belonging to siblings or friends. But really, it’s actually doing it that allows you to learn, right?
17 Where’s The Proud Papa?
This confession is a simple one. Its most interesting qualities come, perhaps, from how few words are included to really drive the point home.
This father is with someone – a woman who is pregnant.
Although no one else may know it, he confesses that sometimes he quite simply wishes that she was not.
On the surface, we rarely speak negative or disappointed words about such things, right? It’s all supposed to be excitement and happy anticipation when the news that a baby is on the way is revealed, it seems.
He probably doesn’t feel like he can voice his true opinion to her – especially if she is happy about the whole situation.
And so he turns to the Whisper app to voice the confession that he can’t share anywhere else.
16 Got More Than Girlfriend Problems
Okay, so there may be a few problems with the language here, as in the fact that this dude says sometimes he wishes he “wasn’t” dead …
But this isn’t to make fun of the poor guy. He has a lot going on, it seems.
He doesn’t have a job, and he can’t even support himself. He has to move back in with his mother, in fact.
And now, he hears that his girlfriend is pregnant. Ayayay. But that’s not all — oh, no, that is not all.
He also has a strong suspicion that the gal has been cheating on him, too.
Hopefully he can address one problem at a time and get to a better place in his life – am I right?
For example, the first step seems to be to somehow secure employment. Then, maybe he’ll want to somehow confirm that the baby is actually his?
15 A Husband, Not A Father
So some of the confessions here are from men who feel that they are not capable enough, employed enough, or old enough to become fathers. Sometimes the relationship is falling apart already or already has. There is generally a bad situation developing, quite the opposite of two committed partners ready to raise a child together.
But here, we have something that is just a little bit different. This man is married. He has committed to being with this woman, who is now carrying his child.
But he wishes that she wasn’t about to make him a father.
He doesn’t include why he thinks that he feels this way. Is it that he just doesn’t really like the idea of having a child? Does he wish that it could just stay the two of them for a bit longer, or maybe even forever? Maybe he wants to be able to use their money for other things, rather than diapers, childcare, and a college fund.
14 All The Anger
So the thing is, it’s a little unclear if any of these kids are actually the offspring of the speaker sharing his, um, thoughts here…
What is not at all interesting or entertaining or okay in any way is that this is a man saying he would have intentions of what sounds like physically abusing a woman — if she wasn’t pregnant. What in the world is he thinking, and who in the world is this guy, that this is his rationale?
Is he actually the father of one or more of these kids that the woman is having, quite regularly, from the sounds of things? Or is he just a friend with benefits whom she turns to when she is already carrying another man’s child?
Either way, what is it that makes him so mad? Is it that he doesn’t get to play the dad role? Goodness, hopefully that’s not this angry person’s intent. Is it that he doesn’t get any once the woman isn’t pregnant anymore? Just… what?
13 Of Produce And Reproduction
Well this term is new to me. Look at that! You learn something every day. Apparently, “wet lettuce” can be used to describe someone who is emotionally weak. When used to describe a male, it might sometimes mean that the speaker thinks he is not acting man enough or something.
So, unless this guy means something physical, which may also be possible, we think what he’s trying to say is that his lady is all emotional because she’s pregnant, and this makes him wish that she wasn’t in this way.
He can’t be too excited about the actual baby that’s soon to be born if he’s not even willing to put up with his wife being a bit hormonal or more emotional than usual. Or maybe he’s just letting the current situation overwhelm him rather than focusing on where the pregnancy is leading him – to fatherhood.
12 Get Yo’ Money, Baby!
Sometimes a guy confesses that he doesn’t feel like he knows what he’s doing, so he’s scared of becoming a father. Maybe he doesn’t feel he has the know-how or resources to provide for himself, let alone a family of his own.
That’s not the case here.
This guy seems to think he’s got it all going on. He has a job, he driven, and generally thinks he has his life together.
But wait – has he been trapped into a situation in which he’ll forever be annoyed that his girlfriend doesn’t seem to be willing to do any work at all?
Rather than eagerly jump into his expected role of playing the provider, he feels like there’s nothing he can do about the fact that his lady sits at home wasting time while he’s out making that money. And that’s not going to change once the baby comes along.
11 Not Wild About A Child
Although the message may be a bit, um, jumbled, it’s clear that this guy is not stoked that he’s going to be a father, and not exactly suited to be one either.
On one hand, he’s like, so what? I do what I want. He smokes and drinks. He thinks that’s perfectly okay.
Although he does seem to realize that, oh, shoot, I am not at all capable of being a dad while living this lifestyle. Oops.
Clearly, he is not exactly super stoked that his girlfriend is now expecting, and that he is going to become a dad.
I guess maybe part of the problem here could be that things like drinking and smoking can lead to poor judgment and decisions… Too late now!
10 The Wrong Woman
He had it so good, and he didn’t even know it. He dumped his girlfriend, and now, he sure wishes that he hadn’t. He should have just stayed with that one, whom he now misses terribly.
As it turns out, he now has some quite strong opinions about his new lady – who is now pregnant.
He thinks she’s straight up crazy. She won’t let him go, though, and he can’t just dump her now that she’s, ya know, carrying his baby and all. Yikes.
Perhaps waiting to get to know her better before getting her pregnant might have been a better course of action. And if it was an unplanned pregnancy, perhaps it would have been wise to use contraception…
We don’t know the details of how this pregnancy happened, but we do know that the baby on the way has this guy dreaming of the days that he was with his earlier love.
9 Not With Her
Sometimes it’s the simplest confessions that hit the hardest.
This guy, very simply, wishes that he didn’t have a baby with whoever it is that the baby will come to call “Mom.”
He doesn’t explain whether he doesn’t want to have the baby that they are now parents to or if it’s just the fact that the child is with her that he doesn’t like, but either way, he is clearly not happy about the situation.
The implication here, perhaps, is that if they weren’t parents to this child, he could leave. When a man isn’t happy about having a child with a woman, it can sometimes have quite large implications for what he truly thinks of the woman, their relationship, and their future (or lack thereof), right?
He keeps it simple. The baby is already born – and he’s not happy about it.
8 16 And Got Her Pregnant
Thinking back, how much of a kid do you think you were still at the age of 16? I actually just happened to be thinking about this today. Although you may have a strong sense of your own identity, your preferences, and your goals, you usually aren’t exactly ready to go out on your own in life – to commit to a long-term relationship, have a full-time job, or live on your own. That stuff comes later.
But people are sometimes beginning to have intimate relationships at around this age.
This young man certainly was. In fact, he made the choice to be physical with someone – and to not use protection. He was told by the female he was with that she was on the pill. (The pill does not protect against things like STDs, by the way…)
7 The Worst Of Times
It’s not that this man despises the idea of fatherhood. He doesn’t say that he’s too young or specify any of the exact details as some other confessors here have.
But he seems to have his mind made up that this is not the woman he should be having a family with. On top of this, he’s just plain not ready to become a father yet.
Instead of being super stoked to start a family, he’s beyond regretful. He’s beyond upset. He’s so depressed, in fact, that he describes it as “crippling.”
Here’s hoping that he gets the professional help he needs to find a better path forward in his life.
He did, in fact, make the choice to have intercourse with this woman, and so it was his choice that led to the baby that is very soon to be on the way.
6 20 Once, A Father Forever
Well, this young man has received the news that he’s probably going to be a dad. He is not at all ready to have his own baby. Heck, he can’t even legally drink yet.
Some people at this age are midway through college, perhaps dating some or finding themselves in increasingly serious or adult relationships – if not choosing to put all that off until later on in life.
Some are beginning careers or learning a trade in order to support themselves down the road.
We don’t know, in this case, what the mother in the situation thinks about the whole thing, but we do know that this guy is not pleased by the idea of a baby of his own on the way.
When it comes down to it, he’s just too young!
5 Ready To Bail
It’s not like he was in a serious and committed relationship. He had only been seeing this person for like a month – and yet they had decided to be together physically already (maybe the problem with this situation lies therein?).
But guess what’s happened? After just one short month of dating – and casually, he says, at that – the woman has become pregnant.
First of all, he does not feel like he is ready to have a baby AT ALL. Heck, he doesn’t even know if he savors the notion of being a father at all.
The woman tells him that she doesn’t care if he sticks around to help raise the child or not. His response is to take to the Whisper app to ask the people of the Internet what they think he should do.
4 Emphasis On ‘NOT’ Ready
Do you enjoy the uppercasing of the word “Not” here?
Although it can be interesting and educating, both, to read people’s detailed descriptions of what happened in their lives that led to babies that they don’t want and aren’t ready to raise, it’s really these short and simple ones that can be quite powerful, isn’t it?
We don’t know with whom this man has accidentally (presumably) reproduced. We don’t know if the baby will be born in the coming months or coming hours. But we do know that he is not ready for it.
Alas, it seems he was ready to have intercourse with someone, as it’s implied that the reason he is stating that he is NOT ready for fatherhood is that he finds himself in the situation of being the father to an expected child.
3 So Many Wishes
Seemingly attempting to be somewhat poetic with his use of repetition, as far as anonymous Internet confessions go, this man spins the yarn of the sad situation that he now finds himself quite hopelessly in.
Through a serious of simply stated wishes, he reveals all.
He is a certain very specific kind of, well, buddy to this woman. They have what he describes as meaningless intercourse together. This has led to them having a baby together. He is not pleased with the situation.
She is in love not with him but with his friend.
If only they had never met, he dreams. Then he wouldn’t find himself in this predicament.
And it’s not that he’s against having a baby – he just wishes it wasn’t this baby with this partner.
We wonder if he used to think it was love – like when he made the choice to be with this woman.
2 Looking To Leave
Here is yet another Whisper confession from a young man still just a teenager – a young man who has made the decision to have intercourse with his girlfriend. This led to the creation of a baby, and clearly, he is not interested in that happening.
But happening it is.
His reaction is to want to head for the hills.
He thinks he’s going to just break up with her.
This might not exactly be where his responsibilities as the father end, but he doesn’t seem to think of that, or at least he makes no mention of it here.
I wonder how much else is actually taking place in this teen’s head. Is he trying to seem so callous, like some sort of badass or something?
Or is his thought process really this simple?
1 Where Is The Love?
Here’s the thing. If he didn’t love his girlfriend, maybe he shouldn’t have been intimate with her. Just sayin’.
But of course, we know that in real life, people make the decision to be together, well, physically sometimes even when they don’t think they’ve found their soulmate or the person they want to spend the rest of their life with.
He has stayed with this woman long enough to call her his girlfriend, though. They are now expecting a baby, but the problem for him is that this is not the one he loves.
He wonders what in the world he is supposed to do now.
He turns to the Whisper app to seek advice.
Will he pretend that he does love the mother of his baby, and make an attempt to stay with her and raise the child together? Do you see that scenario ending well?
Is it better to end things cleanly now?
Sources: UrbanDictionary.com, Peevish.co.uk