When hitting the big 3-0 birthday, it’s virtually impossible to scroll Facebook without seeing countless pictures of childhood and school friends with their marriage, baby shower and newborn pics.
At some point in everyone’s news feeds, the pics shared over social media take a seeming turn for the “better”. Tequila shots and impossible-to-walk-in high heels are traded for a messy bun, poopy diapers, and no makeup selfies.
As great as that may be for some, not every 30-year-old’s biological clock immediately starts ticking resoundingly upon nearing the roaring 40s. What’s the best age to have a baby? The answer is drastically different depending on who is asked, but for these 30-year-olds, the time still isn’t now. They don’t even all necessarily list their careers as the primary reason. For many, finances are a big reason, but for others, the thought of having children simply isn’t an enticing one.
Kids aren’t for everyone, but it’s clear from reading many of these that if they don’t have kids soon, they are going to regret their decision for the rest of their lives. Even worse are the ones stuck in a relationship where the other partner isn’t ready to officially settle down yet.
18 Finances Or Commitment Issues?
As Heidi pointed out: "Do it, you'll find a way to grow that bank account. Necessity is the key to success."
It’s very true that having kids is a great motivator to grow your monthly income. Suddenly, your financial situation becomes less about after hour cocktails or having the latest iPhone and more about making sure that you can provide the best for your little ones. But at the end of the day, no one can ever be ready enough for kids. As much as it helps to have more money in the bank “just in case”, at some point, the issue becomes more about commitment than financial security. Since they’re already in their late 30s, it would probably be a good idea to have a baby already as everything will fall into place on its own.
17 A New Normal
Everyone talks about their biological clocks when referring to kids, but the fact of the matter is that not everyone actually has one. An increasing number of women and men are perfectly content either living childless lives, whether single or as a couple with someone else. Having kids simply isn’t for everyone.
Anything can still happen though and 40, 41, or even 42, she might just decide that she is ready. At the same time, that moment might never even come. A tremendous amount of factors comes into play in such a monumental decision and we simply don’t have all the details with this one. It’s possible that she simply hasn’t met the person that she would like to have kids with yet or like many out there, she is perfectly content with her job and doesn’t want to give up her career. She may never be ready and unlike the olden times, she might never be and that's perfectly normal too.
16 120% Not Ready
Without a doubt, this guy won’t be ready to have kids any time soon. Vanity has a price and he will likely pay it once he pushes 40. At the same time though, this is exactly the kind of confession that many men and women alike can relate to. After working hard to get a career established, the thought of having kids can seem too daunting.
It’s no secret that having kids isn’t exactly easy on the wallet and it becomes significantly less about indulging yourself and more about spending money on them. If he’s not ready for kids yet, then him taking time to have fun is definitely for the best. It’s way better to wait until you’re ready, then feel trapped by having kids too soon.
15 Like Father, Like Son - Or Not
With five replies, this confession definitely hit home for some. Kristen replied with some insightful advice: "Being self-aware puts you one huge step in the right direction."
Meanwhile, Jack related: "My father and step-father were terrible. I'm married and a father. Basically I do the opposite of what my male role models would have done. You need to think before you act."
It can be easy (and terrifying) to potentially resort to being the exact same way that our parents would have been with us. After all, kids are the perfect little parrots, who love to copy and repeat all of their parents’ mannerisms. Anyone who has dealt with kids blurting out swear words out of nowhere will be able to relate. But at the end of the day, it unquestionably is all about self-awareness and making an effort to be better than the way he may have been treated.
14 A Loaded Confession
Surely, understanding why anyone would want a baby wouldn’t be that hard. The bigger and more relevant question is why doesn’t she want to have a baby? We’re not obligated to all reproduce, but it’s clear that the baby topic is on her mind. Since she is married, there is a good chance that her husband might be pressuring her to have a baby.
But if he was, she would have probably mentioned it in her confession from the standpoint of feeling pressured to have kids when she doesn’t want to. Having babies isn’t for everybody and that’s totally normal, but there is still the chance that her unsympathetic feelings may be due to her experiencing cold feet within her marriage. There is the very real possibility that she simply isn’t happy in her marriage and doesn’t want to have kids with that person as a result.
13 Anything To Delay
This confession is the perfect example of a man simply delaying to avoid commitment. As great as it is to want to save money for the PlayStation 5, the fact of the matter is that the console doesn’t even have an official release date, with some fans speculating that it might only hit the shelves in 2020. By then, the wife is sure to be 38 or possibly 39 and with her biological clocking ticking even longer, it probably won’t be long until she dumps his cheapskate butt.
Bottom line is that a baby is incomparable to a PS5 that is nowhere near to be going on sale any time soon. The bigger issue is undoubtedly the fact that he would much rather keep playing games and having fun, instead of changing diapers and taking care of a little human.
12 Age Difference Drawback
When it comes to falling in love, many (especially celebrities) tend to follow their hearts instead of considering all the factors. This confession is the prime example of how big age gaps don’t always work out. As much as the romance might be there, it doesn’t work if one partner is already past their 40s and ready to have kids, while the other just entered their 30s and doesn’t have kids on their mind at all.
Out of four replies, Gracie had the soundest advice: "There's never a good time to have a baby. Nobody is ever really ready. Maybe under the illusion that you're ready until the baby comes and you realize you aren't...! Just have a baby. It's amazing."
Meanwhile, Janis simply asked: "If you married her, why wait?"
11 All Fun & Games... Or Is It?
As much as this confession might sound fun and light-hearted on the surface, the implication of the “dirty 30s” statement is a lot deeper than it might appear. It might be easy to assume that she is merely saying that since she didn’t party too much in her 20s, she’s exploring the nightlife scene now. However, the reference to “dirty 30s” points this one into a different direction.
As it turns out, the “dirty thirties” is the age at which a woman might lower her standards and have lots of hookups, with some arguing that this is as a direct result of the biological clock ticking louder than ever. Many more would also argue that her goal might actually be to get pregnant, but that logic is definitely debatable. So with that being said, is this Whisper user merely having fun and isn’t ready for kids yet, or is she actively trying to have one? Up to you to decide.
10 Time To Swipe Right
At some point, something is going to have to give. If she wants kids, then as she says it herself, she is going to need to put herself out there.
Rachel had the best advice to this one: "You sound like you need to just meet some new people or get involved in some new hobbies/ activities."
But ultimately, as much as she might sound ready, she positively isn’t. Life isn’t the way it’s portrayed in the movies and if she wants kids, she is going to have to make an effort to get out of her bubble and find someone to have them with. There’s always the technologically-advanced option of having them alone or perhaps even adopting, but since she mentions putting herself out there, it definitely sounds like she wants to meet someone.
9 Not On The Same Page
Opinions on this one were utterly divided. Other users were either vociferous about her being selfish or didn't see her as being selfish in the least bit.
Christine commented: "Yes, you are selfish. Make one when both of you are ready for it. It will be worth it and he will be way more happy."
For her part, Susan replied: "Your biological clock is ticking. You only have a few years left if you want a baby.”
At the end of the day, we can’t help it if we want kids or not, but being in a couple also means having to accept that the other person just might not be ready yet. Since he’s in med school and already 39, it would be good to know how much longer he has left, especially since even when he’s done, he might want to wait even longer until he’s more established in his position.
8 Double The Pressure
Pressure from the family is never easy to deal with and she’s actually dealing with it on two fronts! Since she’s already in her mid-30s and still single as well as childless, it’s easy to easy why her grandmother would be pressuring her as she’s obviously not getting any younger! The old school mentality of having kids early would undoubtedly be a strong motivator as well.
In a way, it’s good that she isn’t giving into the pressure. Despite still being single, there is a good chance that she simply isn’t ready to have kids yet and that perfectly fine as well. It’s just hard when coupled with pressure from both the mother and the grandmother, but as we all know, it will happen when it happens – hopefully, sooner, rather than later for grandma’s sake!
7 Perhaps In Another Decade
Or maybe in a different lifetime altogether? This confession is another example of simply not having all the details. It would be insightful to know the reason for which she doesn’t feel ready to settle down yet. She says that she loves him so much and they have already been together for a decade, so it doesn’t sound like it’s from a relationship or romantic standpoint. Is it because of the commitment or the feeling of being tied down?
Perhaps it’s because she has a lot of unfulfilled points on her bucket list and still wants to travel or pursue a career. Whichever the case, the pressure from the boyfriend likely won’t stop any time soon as it’s clear that his biological clock is ticking. One thing is for sure: she needs to decide if she even wants kids at all.
6 Never Perfect
There is no magical formula or age for having kids. Despite what science might tell us, we’re not all forced to have kids in our 20s, but at the same time, it’s also impossible to wait until the situation is just right. The fact of the matter is that the situation is simply never right. Planning for a baby is great and all, but at some point, you need to stop and decide that there is enough money in the bank.
Every person in their 30s isn’t broken either. Sure, there might be some bad apples, but many of those who don’t have a child yet were likely simply focusing on their careers. It’s impossible to wait “to get it right” because even if it might not end up being right with that wife, he definitely won’t regret having his kids.
5 Between A Rock & Hard Place
The clock is definitely ticking for her and at some point, she might need to choose. An increasing number of women are having kids in their 40s, but the question with this one is when might her husband feel ready? She’s already pushing 40, they don’t live in the same country and he isn’t currently ready. His age would undeniably play a huge factor as well. If he’s older, it’s possible that he won’t ever be ready and if he’s younger, then she might feel too old by the time that he’s ready! There is absolutely no perfect solution to this one, except for the fact that they need to decide as a couple what’s more important to them. When one partner isn’t willing to settle down yet, it’s sometimes best to just move on.
4 Probably Not
They may be pushing 40, but it’s clear that they aren’t ready yet. With the image of the man in the background, it definitely sounds like this confession might be coming from a man, but it could very well be from a woman as well. In either case, if they are truly ready to start a family, then it’s still going to be a couple of years. Meeting someone doesn’t happen overnight and pregnancy still take nine long months! There is a very good possibility that they will be well into their 40s by the time that they have their first kid.
But the “or is it?” question at the end undeniably shifts everything into uncertainty. Then again, no one is ever truly ready to have kids. No matter how much planning goes into having kids, no one can ever be ready 100%.
3 40 Is The New 30
Technically speaking, an increasing number of women are having kids in their 40s and although risks may be higher, it’s not entirely impossible. However, she does specifically say that the risks would be too high for her, which makes us wonder if there might a looming medical condition. It’s possible that the risks being too high in the future might not be entirely related to her being 40 and more to do with a medical condition.
More importantly, no one is truly ever ready to have kids. It’s hard to know exactly how much money or stuff you might need because everyone’s situation is drastically different. Then again, the reference to stability may not even be related to finances and may instead be related to the relationship.
2 The Ticking Has Started
Many would hesitate to argue that since she is in her early 30s, there is still plenty of time. Lorraine replied: “It's ok that you're not having babies. Just make sure that you're in a stable mindset before you take care of other human beings."
Although she says that she thinks that she wants to have kids, it sounds like her dilemma is more related to the fact that she is still single. As much as some others on this list have yet to feel the pressure of the biological clock despite pushing 40, it also sounds as though she might be beginning to hear the ticking. It may be a conflicting situation now, but if she truly wants to make kids happen soon-ish, then she is going to need to put herself out there. Time to get swipin’ on Tinder.
1 Impossibly High Standards
Given his impossibly high standards, we’re inclined to believe that he is indeed afraid of commitment. No one is perfect, but it’s especially by the last statement that it’s clear that despite being 38 and never married, this guy isn’t looking to settle down any time soon. Despite pushing 40, he obviously just wants to have fun. Technically, there isn’t anything wrong with that, but this Whisper does perfectly showcase how not everyone in their late 30s is necessarily ready to have kids. The process is different for everyone and there is no set number that works for everyone. It might never even happen to this man.
One thing is for certain: he won’t be getting any wifey applications by asking for them over Whisper, especially not with an image of troubled seas.