Everything changes after having kids. Even having just one kid is enough to disrupt the entire relationship and make it hit further than rock-bottom if that’s at all possible.
The vast majority of men clench their jaws every day and grunt “I’m sorry” at the latest complaint that their wives throw their way. They will still continue to pick up the kids and take out the trash, but as evidenced by these 18 confessions, it doesn’t mean that their heart is still in the relationship.
All of them are enough to make anyone wonder why these husbands would choose to stay trapped in a family life that they despise, all the while cheating on the side and hating their wives. Among some of the worst ones are definitely the confessions from the dads who cheated with the babysitter, lied every day to their families about finishing work later than they actually do, slept with their daughter’s best friend and not to mention the one who, 20 years and two kids later, has kept the secret that he’s gay. All of these are offensive and will make you want to swear off marriage and kids. Unfortunately, you just can’t ever know what your partner truly thinks deep down inside.
18 Boy, Bye
Arnold Schwarzenegger, Ethan Hawke, Jude Law and although it happened after he and Jennifer Garner broke up, even Ben Affleck... we hear it all the time of celebrity dads banging the babysitter, but why? It’s not a universal truth that all dads are attracted to the nanny and vice versa or that the nanny is trying to get with him too, and yet we hear of such unfaithfulness often enough. It’s hard enough to find a trustworthy babysitter to keep your kids safe, but then to also have to wonder about the husband cheating?
With this confession, it’s clear that his wife hasn’t found out yet, but she undoubtedly will. Most eventually do. The fact that he doesn’t walk around shirtless around her also points towards the possibility that they likely aren’t even romantic with each other anymore, so it probably won’t be long until the end anyways.
17 Not A Good Enough Reason
Actually, there is no good enough reason to cheat. Why stay with someone if you’re just going to sneak around, lie and cheat? Shedding the baby weight is a process and it can take years to do it! Even if she would have gained double that amount, it still wouldn’t be a good enough reason for him to cheat. All too many stay “for the kids”, but if he can’t be bothered to accept her for the way she is, then he should just walk.
If he’s that unhappy about her appearance, then what’s the point of staying with her and cheating? It’s not by cheating or putting her down about her weight that he’s going to motivate her to hit the gym. Interestingly, there are lots of stories about women losing a ton of weight after they have left their cheating spouses.
16 Keeping Her In The Closet With Him
Coming out is complicated but lying to your partner for 20 years is completely unacceptable. If he didn’t want to come out to anyone about his true orientation, that’s completely within his right. But to lie to another person for that long and going so far as having two kids is beyond selfish and wrong. Too many would be quick to sympathize with him, but fact of the matter is that he clearly states that he is “secretly gay with no attraction to women”.
Despite knowing with certainty that he feels absolutely nothing towards women in that way, he still trapped a woman in a relationship with him, loading her with lies. We can only imagine the heartache that she has gone through with him already through all these years. If he doesn’t want to tell her the truth, then he could at least divorce her and give her a chance to find her own happiness.
15 American Beauty
Just like in the 1999 movie American Beauty, here’s a dad who fell for his daughter’s best friend. Will he also come out later as gay (as Kevin Spacey did)? ?
It makes a world of a difference if she is 13 or going on 18 but in either case, this one is beyond wrong. Making this one even worse is the fact that his daughter is undoubtedly privy to his inappropriateness. As an adult and a dad, he should be setting a good example and not having relations with an underage girl, who is his daughter’s age. He may be convinced that he loves the best friend, but she’s obviously being manipulated and groomed. Let’s hope that he either stepped up and told his wife, or his daughter did. It would have been incredibly unfair to ask his daughter to keep the secret, although we have no doubt that he would have.
14 There's A Major Difference
Sounds like she’s lucky that he doesn’t kiss her anymore. Who would want to kiss under those circumstances? The assumption with this one is that his wife probably isn’t at the same weight as she was pre-babies. There are lots of articles online aimed at helping women look more attractive for their husband after a couple of pregnancies, but ultimately having kids is a major game-changer that some men simply are unable to accept.
For him to complain about her curves is actually ironic given how many men complain about the complete opposite, wishing that their wives had more curves. The bigger issue with this one is that he’s comparing his wife to a younger babysitter who hasn’t pushed out any kids yet. For many couples, the relationship hits rock bottom after having kids, but it’s not by writing derogatory confessions on Whisper that they’re going to make anything better.
13 Not So Clean
If all he was truly interested in was "clean and fun chat", then surely he wouldn't mind having a chat with a fellow stay at home dad instead? The worst part about this Whisper is that it’s not even the only one of its kind. The popular site is actually littered with stay at home dads looking for a chat with other stay at home moms, but as anyone can guess, it’s definitely not for a “clean” chat.
A fun one for sure, but not a clean one. There are loads more from dads who don’t stay at home with the kids either, but who are still looking for someone else to talk to. Staying at home with kids can be lonely and isolating, but cheating is obviously not the way to go about it.
12 Not Legal Yet
It's just a fantasy... for now. This one is sure to infuriate any mom reading it. It’s hard enough to hire a babysitter but then to also have to worry about the husband going after her? Ugh, beyond horrible! Even worst is the fact that this Whisper author writes that she’s “barely legal”.
If that wasn’t enough, he even has the audacity to ask others their opinion on the matter. The obvious responses would be to condemn his “barely legal” desires but he probably posted his confession with the hope of getting some sympathy, perhaps for a fellow dad to write back that it’s totally normal and it happens to all of them. But it’s not very normal and is in fact illegal. They may be just fantasies for now but the teen in question would undoubtedly not appreciate him thinking of her in this way.
11 It Took Three Times
While Tamra offered words of encouragement: “Well it happened and you can only move forward," Jenny wasn’t as supportive: "Either you're an attention seeking liar or the worst person alive."
While it might be possible that he’s liar, we’re actually inclined to believe him because of how often situations like these really happen. We usually hear of them from the mom’s point of view though, but at least in this one, the dad is showing some remorse. He wishes he didn’t cheat on his wife while she was pregnant, but it’s virtually impossible to see any silver linings with his confession given that it wasn’t just the one time. After three times, it’s clear that he just couldn’t be bothered to care. He doesn’t call her his “ex” wife, but here’s to hoping she dumped him.
10 Bad Work Ethic
There’s a fine line when it comes to thinking about other people when making love to a spouse, partner or girlfriend/boyfriend. More than half of people surveyed in different studies have admitted to thinking about a former flame, a stranger or someone else in general. Despite being a regular occurrence for many, it’s still something that wouldn’t sit well with most.
To each their own, but it’s almost for certain that the wife in this situation wouldn’t take it too well to find out that her husband has been fantasizing about his employee with they made love. It doesn’t mean that she wouldn’t be open to the idea of spicing up their love life if given the chance to discuss the matter with her husband, but in this case, she has no idea that she isn’t the only one on his mind during their private moments.
9 Keeping It Online
As terrible as this confession is, it’s even more shocking that it actually received a couple of likes. But for any woman who has even been faced with finding out that her husband has been cheating with other men or who has come out of the closet later in life, this confession would be far from deserving any likes.
Did he make his confession with the purpose of getting the guilt off his chest or to gloat? Unlike some other Whispers where the husband has shown remorse for his actions, this one starts off first and foremost by saying that he lies to his wife in order to have hook-ups with random guys on his way home from work. At no point does he mention that he feels bad, so we’re inclined to think that he doesn’t plan on ever telling her.
8 Still Two-Faced
So if he loves the “thrill or flirting” and texting someone else, then why not break up with her and have the freedom to do what he wants? All things considered, there is no sense staying in a loveless marriage, which this one clearly is. He doesn’t say a word about loving his wife, despite saying that she’s neither “bad or neglecting”.
So their relationship and situation at home is merely mediocre, but that’s also not a reason to stay. It sounds like he has settled with her. It’s probably for the kids’ sake, but it’s clear that they could either benefit from some counseling or a break from each other. Even flirting and s*xting is considered cheating, especially if the wife has no idea that he’s chatting in that way with other women.
7 Time For A Talk
This one is definitely touchy. On the one hand, he clearly has been living in denial and he might benefit from talking to someone as perhaps either a relationship with a woman isn’t for him, or perhaps even a life as a man. Whichever way he feels best is completely fine and up to him to decide, but what makes this one offensive is the fact that he clearly hasn’t been honest with his wife.
Continuing to live a life of denial isn’t fair to anybody involved, but especially not the wife. There’s also the bigger issue that she probably wouldn’t appreciate him trying on her clothes, especially her underwear, without her knowledge. Underwear especially are extremely intimate pieces of clothing that shouldn’t be tried on without the other person’s permission!
6 Secret Desires
Not only is this confession completely inappropriate, but there is also the bottom line that if he had the chance, he would 100% cheat on his wife with the sister-in-law. He just can’t because “she is too good a Mormon” and for the bigger issue that his wife would find out. If she wasn’t “too good” and he knew for a fact that his wife would never find out, then it’s clear that he would definitely take the chance just for one moment with her.
What is even the point of being worried that his wife would divorce him if he wouldn’t hesitate to cheat on her if given the secretive opportunity? Feeling an attraction to someone else is almost inevitable, but the bigger issue at hand is if he has ever cheated on her without her knowledge.
5 Trying To Avoid The Inevitable
This one’s simple. Rather than asking on Whisper what he should be doing, he should obviously be telling his wife ASAP that he hasn’t been faithful to her and that there might be a kid on the way. It’s certainly not the time to ruminate on his actions. Unfortunately, it’s clear that he is actually on the fence about telling her, otherwise he wouldn’t be asking for advice on “what to do”.
The only silver lining is that the other woman might not even be pregnant. But if she isn’t, does he still plan on telling his wife about his affair? Something tells us that he probably isn’t, especially since he’s already unsure about telling her as it is. As with most Whispers, we unfortunately have no idea if she did end up being pregnant of if they kept the baby.
4 Appalling Or Justifiable?
On the surface, this confession is possibly one of the most offensive on this list. It’s hard not to take it as him actually being interested in his daughter in that way. It’s certainly possible and he should be in jail if it’s the case. But maybe it’s not actually the case?
Assuming the worst is the easiest route, especially given the prevalence of shocking confessions on the popular site, but we’re going to give this one the benefit of the doubt because it’s possible that he’s merely saying that his daughter meets all of his needs emotionally in that cute father-daughter way. In the grander scheme of things, he’s probably just terribly unhappy in his marriage and rather than putting on his big boy pants and separating, he’s tolerating the situation instead.
3 Everything Is Grey To Him
All things considered, every parent wishes they could run away… some on a daily basis! Making this one offensive is the fact that he isn’t doing anything about it. There is zero sense living a life of misery. If he isn’t happy with his wife, he doesn’t have to stay just because he has kids and a family. With regards to the job, he could probably look into taking courses or switching altogether.
It’s not easy after being at the same job for a while, but when there’s a will, there’s a way. The same goes for his relationship with his family. If he’s just grumpy and unhappy every day, then that wouldn’t be contributing towards a healthy family dynamic. Truthfully, it sounds like he could definitely benefit from some counseling as it sounds like he might also be suffering from depression.
2 Whose Fault Is That?
Husbands have this uncanny ability to complain for years on end that their life in the sack is non-existent. As true as that may be, why aren’t they doing anything about it? It takes two to tango and it’s unfair to just take to Whisper after eight months of inactivity to complain about it. The thing is that he would have probably nagged her about it and turned her away from him even more as a result.
So yes, this Whisper is offensive in that he’s just whining and complaining about it instead of being proactive about the situation. Rather than complaining, he could try to set the mood instead. Get a babysitter for the kids, make supper, run a hot bubble bath complete with several glasses of wine… anything to help them rekindle their obviously forgotten romance.
1 Too Lazy
Having kids is a total and lifelong commitment and for many, parenthood comes sooner than they would have liked. There’s no knowing at what age he had his daughter, but wishing he could be carefree is normal and most parents go through periods of having such thoughts, especially when their kids are misbehaving and not listening. Sarah sympathizes: "Nope. It's natural. I love my kids very much, but also sometimes wish I could have a time out and not have the responsibility."
As much as the thoughts articulated in this Whisper are normal and understandable, it is still offensive. Rather than trying to make his situation better, he’s merely lamenting it and regretting the birth of his daughter. Changing the routine, talking to someone and having more “me time” could all help to make him feel more carefree. But it's not by complaining that he's going to feel happier.