Pregnant again? Congratulations! There is nothing like adding a new little one to the family! However, things might look a little different the second time around.
The first pregnancy is full of unsolicited tips, over-researching, constant worry and anxiety, and perpetual self doubt. The second pregnancy comes with slightly more of a lack of mental preparation and stress. The joys of pregnancy may be a little simpler this time.
When I found out I was pregnant with our second baby, it was a completely different experience. From the moment I told my husband to the second I delivered, everything was different. That's not to say it was better or worse, just different.
For instance, researching came at the moment that stick read positive with my first baby. Google was my best friend! With my second, re-researching came at the very end of it. If I remembered I was pregnant while chasing my first babe around, it was only because of morning sickness or back pain. That was, of course, until about 35 weeks when the back and hip pain were so intense that I could hardly walk.
A second labor and delivery comes with way less stress, though equally as terrifying and multiplied with responsibilities. Confidence in having carried a baby for 9 months and welcoming them into the world gives second time mamas a little more leeway to relax in the event of a second pregnancy.
We've put together a list of things that can be expected when having a second child. Without further ado, 18 things no one ever reveals about having a second baby.
18 It's A Pain In The Back... And Hip
Remember how during your first pregnancy nothing seemed to be a big deal because of how elated you were to be pregnant? The second time around, things might be slightly more inconvenient.
Pain, especially around your hips and back, will be way worse! After your body being stretched out from one pregnancy, your muscles aren't as strong as they once were. I am feeling this 100x more with my second pregnancy and it is no joke!
Sure, you may be older and aging bodies add extra pain. But you are also chasing around kid number one, who, if he's anything like mine, keeps you going going going. Bending over, running around, bath time - all of these daily tasks will be way more difficult! By the time bedtime comes around, you will fall over with exhaustion, aches and pains.
As difficult as it may be, try to find a little bit of time to rest and relax your tired body!
17 It Won't Feel Like Pregnancy
Until you're about 37 weeks along, you will constantly be reminding yourself you're pregnant! With your first baby everything is so intense! With your second, you won't spend as much time worrying or stressing over every single thing. Your late night Google searches won't be so excessive.
This may be because you are already experienced, or because you are too busy chasing another one around to remember. Either way, despite the aches and pains, you will constantly have to remind yourself that you are growing another baby. The constant cleaning and chasing after your firstborn will give you way less time to think about the joys of being pregnant.
Your hospital bags won't be packed months ahead of time and forget about a second nursery! Just get that bassinet set up so the baby has somewhere to sleep. The luxuries of the first pregnancy are things of the past! No more prenatal yoga classes, pedicures, massages, or baby showers.
Eventually, toward the end of your pregnancy when you start experiencing a ton of late night runs to the bathroom, you won't be able to forget you're pregnant. So enjoy it while you can. You will be so ready to meet your new little one soon enough!
16 There's No Bladder Control
As if it wasn't bad enough waking up several times a night while you were pregnant with your first, now you have even less bladder control, so prepare to double your toilet time! Thanks to hormonal changes, your growing uterus, and an increase in your blood volume, you will feel the need to pee even more.
After everything has been stretched out down there, you'll notice the need to hit the restroom all the time will not only come more frequently, but it will start earlier in your pregnancy! The worst part is that chasing your other little one makes it worse and more difficult to go all the time.
This is one of those inevitable effects of pregnancy. After giving birth once you'll notice it every time you sneeze, laugh and cough! The second time isn't any better, unfortunately. The only thing you can do to prevent it and repair it are kegels, kegels, kegels!
15 The Bump Will Pop Earlier
That adorable little bump that came around mid-second trimester your first pregnancy will be here sooner than you know it this time! Remember those days of trying to hide your pregnancy until you announced it? It may come a little quicker the second pregnancy.
Unfortunately, your belly and your boobs have already been stretched out. Both of which will grow a few weeks earlier with your second pregnancy, making it a little harder to conceal if you're trying to! The first pregnancy you may have bloating a little earlier on, but the second one you can expect a cute little bump that isn't just bloating.
That little bump is known to show earlier after you've already had a baby. Save all of your maternity clothes, because they will be needed sooner than you'd think when you find out you're pregnant again!
14 Baby #1 Will Do The Impossible
Remember that long list of things you always said you would never let your kids do? Well, it just got a little shorter! It won't matter once you are pregnant with your second child. If there are things that will entertain and make your first kid happy and let you relax for a minute, you will let them do them!
Screen time will soon become a necessity, just as long as you can put your feet up for two seconds. Unhealthy pregnancy cravings won't just appease a pregnant lady, they will satisfy a cranky kid too. All of the things you tried to steer clear of may be your very best friend now!
Even after the birth of your second child, you will need time to rest, so things like games on an iPad and movie time might be your best bet. Don't stress though, most mamas have had to do it.
13 Finding Out The Gender Might Be Disappointing
Were you hoping for a specific gender for your first baby? Well, those hopes may be set even higher for your second. If your older one is a certain gender you might want the other, or you might prefer the same. It's totally normal to envision a certain gender fitting into your family or thinking you're a better mom to boys than girls or vice versa.
Either way, you might be disappointed if you find out what you're having and it's not what you had hoped for. That's okay! It's okay to feel a little disappointment when you find out, just know it all works out and you will love your child either way!
Either gender will fit right into your little family just perfectly. So be disappointed for a second and then think of how much cuteness this new addition will add!
12 Mommy Brain Is Worse The Second Time Around
Remember not being able to remember anything when you were pregnant with your first kid? Well, it's about to get way worse!
Not only will you have pregnancy brain again, it'll be worse, and that's if you ever got your smarts back from the first time. I know I didn't. It was like my first baby ate half of my brain and my second ate the rest. Your memory will be so much worse and simple things that you know you know, you won't be able to remember.
Mom brain is the real deal! Okay, maybe it's not scientifically proven just yet, but I think most moms agree that we don't feel quite as sharp as we were pre-conception. Don't lose hope though! You will be able to perform daily tasks that don't require that much thinking.
11 The Body Will Look Different
With both my boys, people could guess right away that I was having a boy. I carried super low, which is supposedly a sign of having a boy. There are different characteristics that you can sometimes see when carrying a certain gender, though some may just be old wives tales.
As folklore has it, there are certain things that supposedly help you tell what you're having even before you know. For instance, if you're experiencing skin like your teenage years again, you may be carrying a girl. Are you carrying more weight around your booty? You might be able to thank a little boy for that. Perhaps you're just carrying really high, that is usually a sign that you're having a baby girl too.
Though these signs may not be true for everyone, your pregnancies might look completely different if you're having the opposite gender this time. So don't be surprised when you look in the mirror and don't see the same pregnant body!
10 There's Overwhelming Guilt
The guilt you will feel while you are pregnant with your second baby is almost unbearable. You will feel so guilty for completely rocking your first baby's world. Their space is about to totally be invaded and they won't have mommy and daddy all to themselves anymore. While doing the sweet ordinary day to day activities with your first child, you will feel overwhelming guilt that you are going to change his life by bringing another child into it!
You will spend so much of your second pregnancy thinking about how bad you feel for your first baby. You'll worry about having to spend so much time with your newborn or you'll feel bad for possibly neglecting your newborn to spend time with your first. You'll want all of your time to be spread out equally for everyone! Meanwhile, you really want 20 minutes to yourself to take a shower!
The guilt will pass and everything will soon balance itself out. Unfortunately, guilt comes along with being a mother. So don't be too hard on yourself! You're doing great!
9 Parenting Will Go Out The Window
Remember those days of over researching and preparing for your first baby? Somehow, it will all be forgotten! Prepare to have to figure everything out all over again, only in a way calmer manner.
Most of the things that you thought were a huge deal the first time around, won't seem as traumatic the second. You will probably find yourself Googling fewer things and laughing at some of the advice you came across with your first newborn. However, there will be so many of those basic things you do with newborns that you think you should know, but somehow can't remember!
How many diapers a newborn actually goes through in a day, that mustard colored poop that comes after the tar like diapers, how painful breastfeeding is, how tedious your own recovery is, the umbillical cord falling off, and so much more. All of the things that you knew everything about the first time, you will somehow forget about the second time.
Don't worry though, you'll remember soon enough! It's nothing a quick call to mom won't fix. When it's go time, you will adjust and be super mom once again!
8 Everything Feels 10 Times Worse
Though this may not be true for every pregnancy, it will seem like every single pregnancy symptom is magnified the second time around!
Yes, you may be a little older carrying your second babe, and gravity is not our friend. But now you also have another little person to chase around. Unfortunately, you will find way less time to put your feet up and rest throughout the day. And you can totally forget sleeping in anymore!
Your feet, your back, basically your entire body, will ache way more, all of the time! Bending over to pick up toys, chase your firstborn, cook, clean, do the laundry...well you get it, it all makes your weary body even more exhausted. You will most likely feel worse even though it's your second pregnancy. Which is why by 37 weeks, you will be ready for this pregnancy to be over sooner rather than later!
7 Labor is Still Terrifying
There is nothing more terrifying than when you realize you are in labor. So many thoughts run through your mind and you feel totally unprepared even though you spent the last nine months preparing.
The second time around will be no different. Except that you now have the added thoughts of your firstborn and how they are going to manage without you, which, by the way, they will! You have the extra burden of figuring out their care while you are in the hospital as well. This, plus the nerves of being in labor, are a scary combination!
When I went into labor with my second boy, I felt completely terrified and unprepared. You just never know what to expect. Each labor is different. Each has its risks. Each also has its beauty.
You can never be totally prepared for every situation. So when you realize you're in labor, this can be a terrifying thought, and of course you want everyone to be happy and healthy.
6 There's No Such Thing As Modesty
You pretty much lose your sense of modesty or caring about who sees what when you are delivering your first baby. With the second, it's even worse because you know everyone is going to see everything anyway.
Consider modesty out the door when you have two babies. Everyone has seen all of your goods....twice. The first time you are at least aware of the immodesty that comes with childbirth, the second time, it won't even cross your mind!
Not only is childbirth immodest, but the discomforts from pregnancy can make you not care who sees what when you're pregnant too. Sometimes it's just too difficult to cover your growing body parts!
Remember trying to nurse your first in private and trying to be at least slightly discreet? Well, that won't be happening this time. You will be far too busy to worry about nursing schedules. Finding a hidden secluded spot to nurse won't be quite so feasible. You might want to consider it a freeing experience to have to nurse in public anytime anywhere, because that's what you just might find yourself doing.
5 There's Way Less Things To Buy
The baby market is insane! There are so many things that you feel like you need when you first find out you're pregnant. Whether you truly needed any of it or not the first time, you definitely won't succumb to it the second time around.
After having one baby, you will be smarter about what you actually need. You'll know more about diapers, wipes, and the whole lot! Hopefully, you will have some supplies left over from your first, but if not, you will know what you need this time.
You won't go as all out with your second kid as you did with your first. Those trendy baby items may seem a little sillier this time and you'll be a much smarter shopper! You might find yourself not even caring about a nursery either. You'll be more savvy about necessities.
4 The Season Will Dictate The Pregnancy
Unfortunately for me, my first child was due in August in Florida. Not ideal! If you have ever had a baby in the summer you know what it entails: swelling mostly, but a lot of other discomfort too.
No two pregnancies are completely alike. If you were due in the summer with your first and the winter with your second, you know how completely different the two pregnancies can look. And you know which you prefer. All seasons have their pros and cons, even in maternity style!
Not only can the pregnancies look different, but when your little ones are born their first years will look a little different too. Babies born in warmer months may give you more chances to get out of the house, whereas winter babies may keep you indoors for a while.
3 The Second Time Will Be Less Stressful
Do you remember all of things that totally freaked you out when you were pregnant with your first born? Well they won't be as daunting the second time. I remember being on edge and curious about everything concerning my pregnancy and my newborn. Everything was scary, especially labor and delivery! Those over-zealous anxious first time parents that you used to be will all of a sudden drive you crazy!
Parenting is terrifying, but hopefully with your second kid, you won't be so uptight. You will have a little more confidence in your abilities as a mom, and things you stressed about will only make you laugh now. You will understand what is happening to your pregnant body and newborn, making you less nervous about things.
Though you may not actually have the time to relax your body, luckily, your mind will at least be calmer! You will be way more chilled out about everything! You haven't bathed yourself or your kids in a week, you dropped the pacifier on the floor five times, your oldest child is eating ice cream for breakfast, but you don't care! Everyone is alive!
2 And Everything Will Feel Less Intense
The entire experience of your first pregnancy through to your first labor and delivery is the most amazing and terrifying experience of your life! Though the second experience may not be as incredible and scary, it is still an extremely special time.
The whole experience is completely life changing every time, but witnessing the miracle of growing and giving birth to a child for the first time will always hold a special place in your heart. The second time, since you've had experience, might be more enjoyable, but not quite as shocking.
Even your pregnancy, though more painful and exhausting, won't be as heightened as the first time around. Your hormones won't seem as nuts, or at least you will know how to control them a little better. You know what's coming, what to look forward to and what to dread. Though there are different struggles with each pregnancy, most likely there will be fewer surprises and fewer questions this time.
1 The Second Child Will Mean Just As Much As The First
When you finally hold your baby in your arms after nine months of carrying them, your heart explodes with love! It's the most unbelievable thing in the world! If you've done it once, you wonder how you can have room in your heart to love another little one as much.
Well you do! Your heart just grows bigger, kind of like the Grinch! Somehow there is enough room in your heart to love two little humans more than anything, and equally. Your love is doubled, your worry is doubled, your anxiety is doubled, everything is doubled!
There is nothing like growing your family. Your second child is no different from your first. Even though you may not think it's possible, there is enough love to go around. So don't stress about not being capable of that kind of love, because you are!