So this is it. You’re finally pregnant, and about to give your mother the grandchildren she’s always dreamed of. Except, your mother hasn’t always dreamed of being a grandma. Of course, she’ll be happy for the grandchildren and visits and spoiling them but your mother is not the type to get excited over these things.
On the other hand, some grandmas overly indulge in your life; they might get a bit overboard and try to dictate what you should and should not do. Most times, you think to yourself, can’t she give me a break? Don’t let it get on your nerves because she is only concerned and happy to be a grandma as much as you are to be a mom.
So, how do you help your mom take that step and become a grandmother? All you need to do is approach the situation with moderation, know what to expect, learn how to deal with it and how to prepare for everything.
Use these 15 awesome ways to help her feel comfortable with the idea, and get her and her home ready before the baby comes.
19 Break It to Her Gently
Don’t throw a big raucous announcement in your mother's face that she’s going to be a grandmother. Instead of letting the whole world know all at once, meet with her with either yourself or a small portion of your family and let her know that you will be expecting a baby soon and that she will be a grandmother in due time! Keeping it simple and small will help make the announcement easier to take.
18 Make Her Feel Included
Let your mother know that she’s still part of your life and will always be part of your child’s life. She may feel like you’re pushing her out and that you don’t respect her own parenting skills. Promise to invite her over for family dinners and to take her to the park or the zoo as your baby gets a little older. Letting her know she will still be included in activities will make the relationship easier.
17 Babysitting Is Great!
Just as you’re letting her know she has a life and that you won’t be calling on her for every little thing, your mom may be worried that she will be called upon to be your babysitter at all times. While she may enjoy babysitting ever so often, she won’t appreciate if you take advantage, and make her feel like she's raising your children. Let her know this won't happen in your household, and she’s only expected to love your child.
16 Take a Class
Maybe your mom is nervous because so much has changed since she had kids. Heck, even the way you administer CPR has changed! Take your mom with you to a baby and/or child first aid class to educate both of you on the new rules in first aid and what to do in a crisis. This will make both of you rest easy at night.
If she finds it difficult to travel regularly to the classes, bring home the classes to her via either Skype or online classes!
15 Understand Your Mom
It might get annoying when your mom keeps on calling you to check up on you. You might even think that she is becoming a nuisance.
If mom keeps on telling you what to do, it gets in her head that she is still responsible for you. Don’t get it wrong; she is still your mom but you call the shots for your baby. No matter how hard you try to set boundaries, moms can be difficult to control. So, whenever she tries to tell you what you should do, smile, politely take the advice but you do not have to follow what she says.
Seeing the big picture, she is just concerned for you, and you shouldn’t let her overly concerned attitude ruffle your feathers. This will save you some drama.
14 Learn to Brush off Annoying Remarks
Your mom will make minor comments like, “she should be in bed by now,” obvious statements like, “don’t forget to wipe him with warm water,” and personal opinions like, “she does not need all that milk.”
Don’t make a fuss out of such remarks because you do not need the drama. Take it that grandma is only concerned.
13 Take Her Shopping
Do you need to pick up some baby related items? Take your mother shopping with you so she can get used to the idea of having baby clothes around. You may be excited but you also may be feeling a bit anxious about your impending child, too. You and your mother can lean on each other to make things easier on both of you!
12 Buy Her Something New
No, don’t buy your mom a new dress or a watch. Instead, buy her something that is baby related. It can be something she can have when her new grandchild comes over to visit, like a toy or a blanket or a bassinet. This will make her feel more included, letting her know you care about her and want her to be there to share memories with you and your child.
11 Let Her Rest Easy
Let her know you won’t be ignoring her once the baby comes. Even though you’re asking for some advice and wisdom now, you may not want her thoughts and concerns once the baby comes. Your mom may have an opinion on everything, and you may not want to hear it. Let her know you won’t be ignoring her advice but you may be cranky due to a lack of sleep and being overwhelmed with your newborn.
10 Don’t Judge Her
Sure, you’re getting ready for your own newborn and thinking of all the wonderful things you two will be doing together. But, you’re also thinking about all the annoying and hurtful things that may have happened during your own childhood. Instead of bringing this up with your mother and getting into a classic mother-daughter argument, let her know you understand parenting is hard. She did the best she could, and so will you.
9 Reassure Your Mom
You'll probably hear your mom say, “I am too young to be grandma” or “I am not ready to be a grandma yet.” As much as you can't believe you're a mother, you must understand the same thing hits your mom. It is called being human. Take it lightly because the baby will lighten the situation.
8 Stop Blaming
Modern parenting has changed, and how your mom was raised is not necessarily how you will raise your kids.
Occasionally, you might disagree on how long you should breastfeed, or how you might spoil your baby with exposure to technology at an early age. Her thinking may be old school but it is what it is. Understand that and stop blaming her for being "old fashioned."
7 Educate Grandma
Don’t just tell her, educate her on the current trends and she will appreciate it. Is your mother one of those people who can barely get a handle on texting? Although your baby hasn’t even been born yet, and won’t be using technology for years, get her started on how to follow you on your social media, gaining insights into your pregnancy and your newborn's world in real time. She can see how you two are doing, even if she’s off on a cruise or on a golfing trip for the weekend. If she doesn’t already, introduce her to Facetime or Skype, letting her see you in person, and later on, your baby.
6 Throw Her a Grandmother Shower
Grandmother showers are all the rage! This may be because a lot of grandparents have to take on bigger responsibilities than ever before when it comes to their grandchildren. But, this one doesn’t have to be for that reason. You can just invite your mother and a couple of her friends and/or family over for some drinks, food, and fun. You can even buy her some necessities that she will need if you ever have to leave your child in her care, or if she will be babysitting in the future.
5 Head to the Spa
Okay, so this doesn’t seem like it’s very baby related, however, getting one-on-one time with your mother is a great idea to show her you care and want to spend as much time together, just the two of you. Before your baby comes and you’re haggard and busy and leaning on her for more than just mother-daughter time, take advantage of this time. You’ll most likely ask your mother all sorts of questions once the baby arrives, and spending a little quality time together is a great way to show her you still appreciate her.
4 Ask Her for Advice
Asking your mother for advice is one of the best things you can do as a child. They can impart their wisdom on you and get to feel highly superior. You’ll be delighted at the rush of excitement you’ll get when your child asks for your own advice. Your mother is a fountain of information; after all, she raised you and already knows what it’s like to raise a baby.
3 Make Her a Grandma Only Box
Fill this box with cutesy things such as crochet or knitting supplies, slippers, a ‘grandma knows best’ sweater, Werther's Originals candies, cheap eyeglasses, and a framed picture of you and her. Make it funny and adorable, letting this be light-hearted and fun instead of something serious like that expensive crib you’re going to ask her to buy you for your baby shower.
2 Understand She Has a Life, Too
Some people live for the day when they get to be called grandma but others live for the day when they don’t have to answer to work and go about their lives. Let your mom know that you understand that she has a life and that you’re not expecting her to drop everything to help you 24/7. Be gentle with your approach as she may think you don’t want her helping.
Celebrate that she’s becoming a grandmother. Besides showers and gifts and everything, celebrate being with your mother, talking about all the good things that come with being a grandma. Spoiling the kids, hopping them up on sugar and sending them home, getting to make up grandma’s rules, and taking a shine to knitting are the other fun aspects of being a grandma.