Entering motherhood can be a bit of a minefield. There is a lot to learn, a lot of adjustments that will need to be made and a kind of pressure that most women haven’t faced before. It can be a lot to handle.
Thank goodness for the internet and the tribe of moms that feel comfortable enough to share their highs and lows with the world. From kids talking back and kids ignoring you to unpredictable dinners out and the trials of just keeping the kids alive, these moms are ready to make the rest of us feel a little more human.
So don’t let a messy house or a missed date night feel like a failure. Take it for what it is: just another part of motherhood that all moms experience at one time or another. Instead, take a look a few moms that feel the exact same way. It's incredible how insightful these are, and so many moms find that they aren't the only ones who do these things.
We’ve rounded up 20 of the most hilariously relatable parenting posts from around the internet. Read on to have a laugh and to commiserate with a few funny moms.
20 When It’s All About NOT Waking The Sleeping Baby
When you wake up in the morning after a wonderful, restful night’s sleep, there’s a common saying that might pop into your ming—”gosh, I slept like a baby last night”. This may be one of the biggest misnomers in the history of the universe. There aren’t a lot of parents out there that would refer to their baby’s sleep habits as wonderful or restful.
Odds are, most parents would do just about anything to keep their baby asleep once they’ve gone down for a nap or for the night.
From putting tin foil over the windows to sneaking out of the room as quietly as possible, there are no lengths parents won’t go to when it comes to preserving their kid's sleep.
When it comes to the outside world, there is a golden rule of parenting. Once the baby is asleep, do not, under any circumstances, wake up a sleeping baby. Help us all if the phone rings or the dog barks or if someone knocks on the door.
On Halloween night 2017, one mom took matters into her own hands. She put a sign up on her door to keep those pesky trick-or-treaters in line. “This will automatically become the haunted house that will give you nightmares if you knock and wake the baby,” she wrote. “Happy Halloween and take some candy!”
As the poster said, there really is no room for subtlety when dealing with a sleeping baby,
19 The Case Of The Disappearing Appetite
It can be a war to get your kids to eat what you put in front of them. Whether you’re trying to sneak in a few healthy vegetables or just want to get your kid to eat something other than pizza and hotdogs, parents come up with a million different creative ways to get their kids to eat. From trying to get the kids to eat their carrots to explaining yet again that no, chicken and fish aren’t the same, for some parents, it is a daily battle.
But when it comes to the holy grail of food groups, the beloved snack, kids have no problem tucking into whatever you give them. Case in point, this tweet from Stephanie Ortiz, who’s hungry five-year-old was all about a snack but had no room at all for the upcoming meal her mom had prepared.
5-year-old: "I'm starving! Can I have a snack?"
Me: "Dinner's almost ready."
5-year-old: "What's dinner?"
5-year-old: "Ew! I'm not hungry."
If you’ve never experienced an exchange like the above with your kids, then please, give me a call and let me know your secret. Better yet, write a book. Parents would pay for that kind of information.
18 When You Hit Baby #3 And It All Becomes A Blur
When you have your first child, it is an experience that can’t be matched. Everything is new, exciting and slightly terrifying. By the time baby #2 comes along, things seem a little more standard. You’ve been there, done that before—you know what to do when baby #2 runs a fever, you’ve been through the diaper changes and the teething and even the sleep regression before.
You’re a pro.
And when baby #3 comes along, well, been there, done that, you’ve even already bought the souvenir t-shirt. And sometimes even the most mundane aspects of motherhood become muddled. Bunmi Laditan aka @HonestToddler on Twitter knows how hard it can be to keep things straight once you’re dealing with 3 or more kids.
“Receptionist at pediatrician’s office: Child’s birth date and year?
Me, mother of 3: Wow ok I didn’t know there was going to be maths *nervous laughter* let’s see he’s four, it was late April or May, rainy I think, he’s a classic Gemini if that helps, this isn’t in his file?”
And Jill Vander Ziel completely gets it. When responding to Laditan’s original tweet, she could commiserate: “I once told daycare my child's birthday was April 31st. About 6 months later, someone pointed out there are only 30 days in April.”
17 Because Bedtime Is Mom’s Time
After a long day at work, followed by school and daycare pick-ups, getting dinner ready, helping with homework, getting the kids ready for bed and doing whatever small amount of cleaning you can manage, moms, are exhausted.
According to a study conducted by Welch’s, the average working week for Americans is between 40-50 hours a week.
But the study found that the average working mom works a whopping 98 hours per week. “The average working mom’s day typically begins at 6:23 am, and the average working mom doesn’t stop until 8:31 pm.”
So when bedtime rolls around, at 8:30 pm or 9:00 pm or more likely around 10:00 pm when the kids are all finally in bed and settled, that’s mom’s time. I think every parent can agree that even if it’s only for 30 kids-free minutes before your head hits the pillow, bedtime is the best time. Twitter user Walking Outside gets it. She tweeted, “I love my kids more than life itself, and also please for the love of God say it's their bedtime.”
It’s not about loving your kids less, it’s all about keeping your sanity and stealing whatever “me time” you possibly can. Even if it's only a few minutes a day.
16 When You’re Kids Just Aren’t Listening
There are many ways to get your kids attention, right? Just give them a call and they will come running with their ears perked up ready to hear what you have to say. Oh, what a world that would be!
But for most parents, this really isn’t the case. It’s more like the ideal outcome that they dream of when they sleep at night. More often than not, you call for your kids and all you hear is crickets. Well, Twitter user ThisOneSays has cracked the secret code to get your kids to listen. And all you need is a bag of chips you don’t feel like sharing.
“Save your voice calling for your kids. Just open a bag of chips and they'll materialize out of nowhere,” she wrote.
Might I also suggest trying to eat a piece of cake or chocolate, use the bathroom alone and make a personal phone call?
Those are surefire ways to get your kids to come running, even if you’d rather have the moment (and the chocolate) to yourself. Since we know that alone time is hard for moms to find, as soon as you need the kids just start to enjoy yourself.
15 Sometimes Honesty Just Isn’t The Best Policy
Kids can be brutally honest. Every parent has experienced one of those cringe-worthy moments when their kid decided to share their most uncensored thoughts with those around them. It can be mortifying. From a child asking out loud why a woman in the grocery store is so big (oh gosh) to a kid trying to figure out why some people look different than others (in public of course), it can be enough to make you want to hide under a rock for the next six years.
More often than not, these honesty outbursts are directed towards their own parents. Facebook user Dude Mom had just such an experience when she went makeup shopping with her son.
“At Ulta, looking for foundation...
Dude 3: We're here because of that horrible pimple on your face aren't we.
Me: buys all of the makeup.”
Ouch. Thanks, kid!
In response to Dude Mom’s post, DeShawnda Johnson felt her pain.
“Reminds me of the time I was in the "feminine products" aisle at the grocery store and my son say "Mom, don't you have enough of these lady things under your sink? I'm going to wait for you in the next aisle!"
LOL!!! Just can't take boys anywhere!!!”
14 When You Just Want To Keep Them Alive
There are so many things to consider when you’re a parent of a newborn and a toddler. You have to deal with their competing interests and try to keep them both happy and content, day in day out.
You want to ensure that both kids get enough time and attention with mom and dad. You want to ensure that they are fed, clean and well-rested. It can be quite a juggling act. And you want to ensure that they both have time to bond with one another.
One thing you might not have thought of is the need to keep the two of them apart. Why might you ask? Facebook user Mommy Owl gets it.
“When you want your toddler to bond with your newborn and also want you're newborn to survive your toddler,” she captioned a photo of a newborn surrounded by baby gates, with a toddler looking in. “Shout out to baby gates,” she captioned the image.
Just remember that it is all temporary and eventually, the baby gates will be able to come down. Your newborn will become your toddler and two will hopefully become best friends, or at the very least you won’t have to worry about a one-sided fight.
13 Kids Can Be So Sensitive
As adults, most of us like to think we are pretty politically correct. We know how to act around others to make sure that they feel comfortable. We’ve moved past the time in our lives when we unknowingly insult others. We do our best to do no harm.
But once kids are introduced into the scene, all of sudden we become monsters again. The littlest, smallest things can result in a full-blown meltdown that can last for hours.
And discovering these triggers almost feels like a game of Russian roulette.
Asking your kid to brush their hair can spawn a tantrum for the ages. Requesting that they finish dinner could be the biggest mistake of your life. And, as Twitter user Sarcastic Mommy wrote, asking your kids to put clothes on may just be the end of the world.
“Before I had kids, I didn't know I could ruin someone's day by saying, ‘Get dressed, please,’" she tweeted.
It isn’t easy finding these triggers and, just to make things a bit more complicated, they change literally every day. So if hit a trigger, ride it out and know that tomorrow, your id will probably eat their broccoli without issue.
12 When Their Future Seems Oh-So-Bright
As a parent, it’s a given that you want what is best for your kids. You want them to have everything they could ever hope for in life—a family, a great job, a nice house and above all else, happiness.
But sometimes, your kids might give you a little peek into their future that fills you with something closer to dread. Facebook user Tipsy Tiaras gets this and has already issued a formal apology to whichever lucky lady becomes her future daughter-in-law.
“Convo with 9 yr old:
Me: Will you have a dog of your own when you grow up?
9: Yeah. (then total change of track) But I really need to find a girl who is into Pokemon to be my wife.
Me: Well, maybe you just let her like what she likes, and you like Pokemon. Then you're both happy.
9: Nah. I have pretty mad skills, so I'm sure I can convince her to like Pokemon.
Future daughter-in-law - I'm sorry.”
Here’s hoping that Tipsy Tiaras’ son takes his mad skills and puts them to better use than convincing people to join him in a Pokemon hunt. You know what they say: there's someone out there for everyone!
11 Privacy Is A Thing Of The Past When You Become A Mom
One thing’s for sure—when you become a parent you give up a lot of the things you might have taken for granted before kids.
Date nights become a bigger ordeal than ever before. If you and your partner want to catch dinner and a movie, you need to find and vet a babysitter and be sure to be home before midnight so the babysitter can get home on time.
Eating out at restaurants means bringing along enough activities to keep the kids busy and finding a restaurant that is kid-friendly.
Maybe one of the most simple things that you may start to miss once you become a mom, is the freedom to use the bathroom in peace.
An uninterrupted bathroom break might not seem like much at the moment, but once you become a mom, it is like the holy grail.
Nothing brings the kids to you quite like sitting down on the toilet. Twitter user Jennifer S. White found the perfect image to embody the psychic bond she shared with her kids when she uses the bathroom. “The signal I apparently send my kids when I try to use the bathroom alone.” It's the perfect picture for it, even if we're not sure what cartoon it's from.
10 When You Succumb To Temptation
Moms and dads willingly give up a lot for their kids. Their time and energy go into providing as best they can to for their kids and they don’t think twice about it. So every once in a while, when parents slip and succumb to temptation, it really is understandable.
Emily Spence aka Sweet n’ Sour Mom on Facebook had one such slip-up one Easter.
“I'm just a mom...standing in front of the pantry, helping the 3yo look for her chocolate eggs, from preschool, that I ate last night (along with the peeps I planned on using in a centrepiece). #notevenguilty #sorrykidihavepms #youllunderstandoneday”
We should all take a page out of Spence’s book. Let go of the guilt we feel when we take our kids Easter, Christmas or Halloween candy.
Think back to all the chocolate bars you unwillingly shared, all the cookies you didn’t get to eat and take comfort in the fact that your snack tally will always be in deficit compared to your kids. So take that last KitKat, indulge in a mini bag of chips, eat those Skittles and leave the guilt at the door! If you bought it, it's yours anyway. So why shouldn't you enjoy it?
9 Living Up To Mociety’s Mommy Standards
In this day and age, moms are faced with incredibly high standards. Set by society and other moms, we are expected to be perfect. Run the house, keep the kids dressed, clean and fed, hold down a full-time job and of course have time to throw a few Pinterest-worthy parties every now and again.
The reality for a lot of moms is much different than this rose-coloured projection that society expects. Valerie on Twitter gets it: “Just dry shampoo'd and Febreze'd my kid on his way out the door so no I'm not really interested in your family's morning chore chart, Laura.”
The comment feed on Valerie’s original post shows that there are a lot of moms out there who are “falling short” by society’s standards.
“My neighbour woke up at 5 am to pick oranges off her tree to make her kid freshly squeezed OJ. I gave mine a pack of gum I found in my purse…” Penya replied.
“Every day I learn valuable parenting advice. With 6 boys it's usually ‘why do you only fart on your brother's head?’" David Sachs replied.
Colleen Arnold took Valerie’s dry shampoo tip to the next level. “Unfortunately, I ran out of the dry shampoo a few weeks ago and haven't replaced it, so we're still a little greasy over here.”
8 There's A Lot Of #1, So There's A Lot Of Cleaning Too
When you’re a new mom, there is a lot of chaos in your home that may never have been there before. Your laundry needs will double, you’ll feel as though you are tidying up 24/7, and diaper blowouts will mean you’re constantly cleaning up messes, day in day out.
So it’s no wonder that you might find yourself faced with an internal monologue much like the one that Facebook user Mom Babble by Mary Katherine Backstrom posted online.
"Do I reeeeally have to clean the crib sheets again? It's only a little bit..."
"Wash them NOW."
-Me, talking to myself every week.
Rissa Vasile couldn’t agree more and she has a cheeky workaround that can save you time and your sanity.
“Nothing a little rub with a wipie can't fix! I'm debating with myself over changing my sheet after the baby leaked on it last night. #shouldhavechangedthediaper.”
And they weren’t the only moms that related to the tyranny of laundry time. Caelee Beatty also posted on Backstrom’s original post sharing that sometimes she just lets it slide. “Oh, I've slept with baby... stains on the bed for like 4 days. I'm like ‘eh.... It's at the foot of the bed and on hubby's side.’”
7 Old Habits Persist
When you become a mom, something happens to your brain. You start to think in baby talk. You become more comfortable speaking to children than adults. Your go-to function mode becomes “mom”.
It’s almost like a survival skill. When your day is spent with tiny people, you need to be able to manage and communicate with those tiny people. Problems only begin to arise when you try to go out into the real world and interact with other adults.
Twitter user SpacedMom shared a perfectly embarrassing example of this phenomenon.
“*Starts cutting the chicken of the person next to me at a dinner party out of habit*
[Person gets up when they're done]
Did you ask to be excused??”
Yikes! That would be an incredibly uncomfortable situation for both parties. But it’s really not that uncommon for moms. Twitter user KittytoYou shared her own experience with a coworker that left her feeling very #momlife.
“I once wiped one of my co-worker's faces and then fixed his tie. To be fair and maybe less (or more)weird he was 21 and I was 36 so it seemed like he was a baby.”
If you’re a new mom, just embrace it. These moments will come and go, but it shouldn’t be any sweat off your back.
6 The Joys Of Eating Out With Kids
Going out to dinner with kids is a whole new experience. You need to ensure that you choose a restaurant that is kid-friendly, stroller-friendly and can provide you with a high chair if you need it. You also need a place that isn’t going to full of people that turn their noses up at a little screaming or food throwing.
You need to make sure that you bring enough toys and activities to keep your kids busy during the ordering and waiting for the food times.
On top of that, you need to find a restaurant that serves something you can actually get your kids to eat. Because otherwise, you’re in for a fun guessing game.
Twitter user Lurkin’ Mom knows how it goes. “The fun part about taking three kids out to eat is guessing whether you're going to end up eating 4 meals or zero.”
You can do your best to plan. Go online, research menus, and find a place that your kids will like. But let’s be honest, your kids might change their minds on what foods are good and what foods are gross within a matter of minutes. So do what you can, and always remember, they made doggie bags for exactly this reason.
5 The Lack Of Sleep Is Real
Whether you are a new or seasoned parent, sleep deprivation is a real and ever-present danger. According to the National Sleep Foundation, “Some parents find it hard to be ‘on’ all day, managing kids and work demands, and then disconnect completely enough to rest well at night. Instead, lying down in bed brings spinning thoughts of to-do lists and worries about family matters, both small and large.”
If you’re a parent, this information is not news to you. You’re living it every day. Much like Twitter user Meredith aka Perfect Pending who acknowledged that not only is she exhausted as a mother, she also doesn’t necessarily have anything to show for it each day.
“Kidless friend: what do you do all day?
Me: *Looks around at mess
Honestly, I'm not sure. But, it makes me really really tired.”
True, it may seem like you aren’t doing much, especially to your friends who don’t have kids. But moms across the world know the truth.
You are keeping your kid alive! You are keeping yourself alive! And that, my mom friends, is a lot. Even if it doesn't exactly look like it. Hopefully whoever sees your messy home will understand that.
4 When You Try To Grab Just A Bit Of Time For Yourself
Picture the perfect day for a mom often revolves around enough time to take a shower, dry and style your hair and pick out a perfect outfit. It’s all about looking like a normal human, even if it only lasts for 20 minutes before the baby spits up on you again.
Here’s the thing, for a lot of moms that isn’t always a reality. Getting that time to jump in the shower, let alone get your hair done, no longer exists. So when Facebook user The Son and The Moon posted the above pic with the caption: “Me to husband: ‘Watch the baby, I will be 5 minutes doing my makeup.’”
Five minutes. Five minutes for a chance to throw on a little foundation and mascara. Five minutes for your toddler to get into the tissues and make a huge mess of the house. It’s a reality that moms are used to. It doesn’t take a lot of time or resources for a toddler to turn your home upside down.
Here’s the thing, tissues can be cleaned up. And that five minutes to yourself and feeling great about yourself is priceless. So don’t sweat the small messes and take the time for yourself when you can.
3 Your Kids Know You So Well
Have you ever wanted a built-in buddy? A best friend for life? While you still have to be a parent, your kids can become your friends as well. You get to know so much about them and vice versa that it’s no surprise that you become close as a family and even as friends.
Lauren Mullen aka Dragging Feeties on Twitter shared a story of bonding with her son and daughter while baking cookies.
“Me: Don't forget the most important part of baking cookies-
Son: Having fun!
Daughter: Putting some of the dough aside for when Mommy gets sad!”
They really do get to know you so well, don’t they? Even those habits that you maybe wish wouldn’t be so public. But Mullen did want to clarify things for the Twitterverse. It seems that sadness isn’t the only emotion that calls for a dose of cookie dough.
“Other acceptable emotions include: happiness, boredom, anger, embarrassment, fear, anxiety, disgust, confusion"
So next time you’re sad, feeling anxious, your kids embarrass you or you’re just plain bored, grab some cookie dough and indulge! Your kids are okay with it and it's your cookie dough to begin with, so why not?
2 You Start To Detest Specific Television Characters More Than You Thought Possible
Once you become a parent your television viewing habits are bound to change drastically. Say goodbye to Game of Thrones, House of Cards, Westworld and How To Get Away With Murder. And say hello to Paw Patrol, Little Einstein, Dora The Explorer and Peppa The Pig.
Odds are, you’re going to find a few kids television programs that you hate. And I really mean HATE. From the ever annoying and whiny Caillou to the absolutely insane Teletubbies, there are some kids shows that are going to make you want to pull your hair out.
Case-in-point, the UK show In The Night Garden. Dad blogger The DADventurer took to Facebook to let the world know what he really feels about In The Night Garden and one of the starring characters, Iggle Piggle.
“Why won't Iggle Piggle just go to bed on time? He's a bad influence. It won't be long before he's stealing from shops to fund his habit. Do you want your kids growing up thinking that's normal? Won't somebody please think of the children!”
Your kids are bound to like a show that you can't stand, it’s part of being a parent. So do your best to get them hooked on something that doesn’t drive you nuts and just remember, this too shall pass.
1 One Day, They’ll Know More Than You
When your kids are young, you are the centre of their universe. You hold all the answers to all the hundreds of questions they have to ask you. And you are the only person whose answers they trust. It’s a wonderful feeling, even if it does put a little pressure on you (thank goodness for Google).
Enjoy it while it lasts. The time while your kids think you are the knower of all is limited. Just ask Wendy S. on Twitter who posted a lovely picture of her child’s drawing of overcoming a challenge in their life. She captioned it: “My 6-year-old's assignment was to draw a challenge she thinks she can overcome. So she drew herself teaching me how to use the tv remote.”
And just like that, your kids are going to know more than you, or at the very least think they know more than you. So take advantage of this time and be the omniscient presence in their lives that they think you are.
Answer their questions as best you can and take the time without their extreme sass because that will be coming your way soon, and it won't be fun for anyone. Good luck!
References: facebook.com, scarymommy.com, twitter.com, twitter.com, twitter.com, facebook.com, facebook.com, twitter.com, facebook.com, twitter.com, facebook.com, twitter.com, facebook.com, twitter.com, twitter.com, twitter.com, sleepfoundation.org, facebook.com, facebook.com, twitter.com, twitter.com.