It is universally accepted amongst parents that children say the darndest things, and it can be very difficult for mothers and fathers to keep a straight face when they hear some of the things that spring from their little one’s mouth.
Back in the day, moms and dads used to submit hilarious home videos to popular television shows in the hopes that theirs would be picked and they could tell all their friends about how the host recapped the video with commentary that made them breathless with laughter.
In the age of modern technology, parents no longer have to rely on submissions to television shows in order to share their child’s funny faux-pas moments with the world because they can simply recap the amusing statement on a public social media page or post the video online for everyone else on the Internet to get a good chuckle over. Heck, there are countless Internet forums dedicated to posting funny stories about all the weird and wacky things that little kids have said over the years.
For mothers that do not have a good poker face and can’t help but laugh at something their child said or did, don't worry. The following hilarious tales are proof that this occurrence is more common than one would think.
20 The Awkward Moment When Your Kid Is Secretly An Animorph
B.Cardigan also recounts a funny tale on Reddit that stems from the time when her daughter was five years old. One day at the park, her little one decided that she wanted to pretend to be a kangaroo and started jumping up and down like a pogo all around the playground. There was a group of children nearby and she pogo’d her way over to them to see if they wanted to play.
One girl thought she was oh-so-mature by asking B.Cardigan’s daughter why she was hopping around like that and she told them she was practicing to be a kangaroo. Needless to say, the high-and-mighty kid wasn’t impressed and told B.Cardigan’s child that “you can’t be a kangaroo.” Still jumping up and down, the little girl retorted with “Maybe not. But all you'll ever be is human” and hopped away.
19 Future Spider-Man In Training
Reddit user Chickaboomba writes that one day they heard their son talking to himself when he was in the bathroom and decided to peek in to see what he was up to. They thought maybe he was playing with some action figures or speaking to his reflection—boy, were they wrong.
The little boy was actually using a small piece of cardboard to push a spider into the direction of the bathtub and kept talking to the little critter the entire time. He kept saying things like “Excuse me, sir. Pardon me, sir, can I invite you to perhaps travel this way? Oh, no, not that way, sir. Over here, sir. Pardon me, sir, I don’t feel you’re listening…” Spider-man gives this kid two thumbs up!
18 The Girl Who Confused Cranes For Dinosaurs
Reddit user AgnesofthePunk writes that when she was in the car with her three-year-old niece and her mother, the little girl gave a sigh of acceptance when they drove past a construction site and said that “she always knew that the dinosaurs would get her.”
Much to the amusement of her aunt and her mother, the little girl erroneously thought that she was living in a real-life version of Jurassic Park and that the cranes that were working on the construction site were actual dinosaurs. If they were, Alan Grant and Ellie Saddler would’ve been there gawking at them.
17 Somewhere, Elsa Is Facepalming Right Now
The Disney animated film Frozen was a huge hit with children when it was originally released in theaters, and Reddit user Mr.Bismarck and his wife took their then four-year-old daughter to see the film.
After the movie was over, the little girl turns to her parents and breaks the silence in the crowd by asking them if it starts to snow when Elsa passes gas. How the other moviegoers didn’t roll around on the floor laughing hysterically when they heard that is beyond me, although I guess for a toddler, it’s a valid question. At least she just asked her parents in a movie theater and didn’t ask one of the actresses playing Elsa that question while visiting Disney World.
16 Everyone Knows Mom Is Always The Boss In The Family
Children say the darnedest things, usually at the most inopportune moment ever, and that’s a lesson Reddit user Anglerfishtacos’ family knows all too well.
Anglerfishtacos' aunt and uncle decided to go out to eat one night at a restaurant and take their four-year-old son with them. During their night out, they run into the Uncle’s boss and the little tyke gets introduced to him. He made the introduction very memorable by screeching for the entire world to hear,
“You're not my Daddy's boss! My Mommy's my Daddy's boss!"
Anyone else want to take a bet that this situation wound up becoming a meme at the uncle’s office?
15 Bees Have Feelings Too
No one likes bugs, not even children. When I was a little girl, we used to get moths in my bedroom and I’d kick up one heck of a fuss until either my mother or my father would come charging into my room with a towel in hand and took care of the problem for me.
Pineapple-Princess notes on Reddit that one time when she was hanging out with her three-year-old niece and her sister, a gnat started to fly around the kitchen when the little girl was painting. She responded by shooing it away and screeching, “Go home bee, your mommy misses you. Why are you in my home? Go to your home!"
14 Toddler Ponders The Meaning Of Life
Shinyrox notes on Reddit that her little girl made both her and her husband laugh uproariously one time during the car ride. All was silent until Shinyrox’s daughter piped up with this thought,
“Do you guys ever think that we’re not really here?”
Needless to say, Mr. Shinyrox was surprised at his young daughter’s level of introspection, especially when she added on to her original statement by saying, “Maybe we're just part of the story that someone is reading to their baby at bedtime. And then what will happen to us when the story ends?" Sounds like they have a future science-fiction writer on their hands.
13 Cheese Is Life
Turkeyworm recounts a hysterical family story that went down in their personal history about the time that they were on what should have been an uneventful vacation with their mom, dad and little sister.
During dinner, the waiter came over to the little girl and asked her if she’d like some fresh parmesan cheese for her pasta. She says yes, and the waiter replies that she should “say when.” With all the indignity that a three year old could muster, she stares at him with a dumbfounded look and yells out “Right now!”—much to the amusement of her parents and her older sibling.
12 Son Is Baffled By His Parents' Choice To be Surprised During The Birth Of His Sibling
It’s always entertaining when parents make the decision to tell their eldest child that they are about to become a big brother or big sister. When my mom told me I was going to be a big sister, I made her laugh by asking if we could just get a pet dog instead because I didn’t want a sibling.
On Reddit, Plaid1 recounts the tale of when she told her 9 year old son that he was going to have a sibling but mentioned that she wasn’t planning on finding out if it was a baby girl or a baby boy. He paused in what he was doing, scrunched his face up and shouted “What? Won’t we find out when we look in the diaper?” In his mind, he seriously believed his parents would never find out the child’s gender.
11 Daughter 1, Rudolph 0
Christmas time is usually a fun occasion for children whose families celebrate the holiday; I know that I always had a great time helping my mom and dad set up and decorate the Christmas tree when I was a little girl.
Not StayTayTay’s daughter, who writes on Reddit that on Christmas eve, they heard their three year old singing the time-honored lyrics to Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer. They poked their head into the room to see what she was doing and saw her standing in front of her play kitchen and stirring a frying pan with the head of her Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer toy in it.
10 Ursula Wants Her Singing Voice
Salvadorrrrrr notes on Reddit that they have a hilarious childhood memory of being in a car with their BFF and their friend’s mom. At some point, their buddy started to sing a song; in the middle of serenading Salvadorrrrr and her mother, the little girl suddenly starts in with the waterworks for what appears like no reason whatsoever.
Of course, her mother asks what’s the matter and the little girl matter of factly responds by saying she started in with the waterworks because of “how beautiful her voice is”—much to the amusement of everyone that was in the car with her at the time.
9 Being A Flower Girl Is Too Mundane
CootieM0nster relates a funny story about her young daughter on Reddit that takes place when she was recruited to be the flower girl for her aunt’s wedding a few years ago.
After the ceremony, one random elderly aunt walked up to CootieM0nster’s daughter and praised her for looking as pretty as a princess. The little girl looked back at her elderly relation and said, “No, I’m a drama queen!” Anyone else have a sneaking suspicion that this little girl is a future Hollywood leading lady in training and we’ll see her accepting an Academy Award one day in the future?
8 The Confused Kid Who Sang Happy Birthday When It Was Time To Say Goodbye
Reddit user Whalemango gleefully recalls a hilarious moment when her five-year-old brother started to sing in the middle of a moment of respectful silence for their grandpa at the memorial service “Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you” because some of the people there were lighting candles in his honor.
His hysterical faux pas made both his older sibling and his mother—both of whom were feeling sad over their relative’s passing—burst out laughing because it was one of the funniest things they had ever seen. Pretty sure even grandpa’s spirit was probably laughing when he saw that!
7 Chatting With Me, Myself And I
Reddit user 186282_4 shares a funny story about a time when they were on a road trip with their friend and their friend’s son. The mother in question noticed that her little one was in the backseat talking quietly to himself and decided to ask him who he was talking too—since she clearly expected him to name an imaginary friend or something like that.
The little boy proudly announces that he’s talking to himself and his mom plays along by asking what he was talking to himself about. He responds in a matter of fact way with “I don’t know, I wasn’t listening.”
6 Watch Out, He's Saruman In Disguise
One Reddit poster PotsyWife adds that she and her buddy were laughing so hard that their faces turned red when her friend’s son (who was four years old at the time) looked out the window during her birthday party and announced to everyone in the room, “Dark clouds are gathering.”
I can’t blame them for cracking up, it sounds as if the little guy might grow up to be a great actor in drama flicks that could give the late Christopher Lee a run for his money. Maybe he’ll grow up to play Saruman the White in the inevitable Lord of the Rings re-make.
5 Pancakes Are Tricky To Eat
CheshireSwift writes on a Reddit post that they were laughing hysterically when their little girl suddenly says “I can’t cut my pancakes. Why is life so hard?” As if that statement in and of itself wasn’t funny enough, she emphasizes her woe by dejectedly leaving the cutlery on the table and walked away with her head hanging low.
What kind of pancakes are these? Were they made out of Teflon? Pancakes should be the easiest thing in the world to use cutlery on; sounds like someone goofed up really bad in the kitchen when they were mixing up the batter.
4 Thunderstorms Are Created By Robots
According to Reddit user Bumbledaisy, when her son was little he blurted out the most hilarious explanation for why thunderstorms happen. Sorry Marvel fans, but he didn’t blame it on Thor using Mjolnir to ward off Frost Giants or save Asgard from Hela.
Instead, Bumbledaisy’s son turns to his mother after he heard a clap of thunder and asks “Did you hear that giant robot?” Quick, someone call the Sy-Fy channel so they can make some sort of Sharknado film about shark tornados and robots that control the weather and can create thunderstorms in the blink of an eye.
3 Salads Have A Pot Of Gold Inside
Bringing children out to eat with you at places such as Olive Garden is always funny, as Reddit poster Pinheadmaximus learned to their chagrin after the waitress gave their family the usual bowl of salad—complete with their very own salad tongs.
As Pinheadmaximus starts using the tongs to mix up the salad, his daughter sits up in her chair, turns to his wife, looks at her father and then starts looking into the salad bowl while asking “What are you two looking for?” Perhaps she thought as with the cereal Lucky Charms, there would be a pot of gold underneath all that salad.
2 Everyone Needs Hand Jackets In The Cold Weather
Let’s face it, it’s always entertaining when toddlers attempt to properly label items and it doesn’t work out as intended—although most moms manage to keep a straight face when this occurs.
Not FusRo_Duh. They write on Reddit that when their daughter was on her way to preschool, she announces that her hands are freezing cold and she needs “hand jackets” to keep her warm. Of course, FusRo_Duh has no idea what she’s talking about and attempts to figure out what a hand jacket is. Her little girl explains that they’re gloves because like many jackets, her current pair of gloves were waterproof and keep her warm, just like her jacket. Ahh, the logic of children!
1 Moms Are Truly Magical Creatures
In a way, I’m glad that I didn’t grow up with all this modern technology like video websites and streaming sites because I barely had the patience to deal with our VCR when it ate one of my favorite movies; I would have been flipping out whenever the Internet crashed or the video I wanted to watch started to buffer.
Reddit user Sharpam notes that they were with their sister and their nephew. The latter was attempting to watch a video online but it kept buffering so after it finally quit, he exclaimed “Mom! You're ruining the TV with your weird mom powers that I don't want to talk about!”
Sources: Ask Reddit