Kids say the darndest things- literally! It truly seems like children have no filter and we love them for it. They’re not afraid to talk about taboo subjects, like cringe-worthy bodily functions and death. They’re also not too shy to point out what they think is wrong or weird about a person. And, of course, they’re not afraid to say all of these inappropriate things to total strangers!
These parents took to Twitter to share the crazy things their little ones have said and done. Most of these kids started talking about topics that they probably shouldn’t be. For the most part, we’re sure these kids didn’t know how inappropriate their comments were, which makes it all the more hilarious. We’re just thankful the parents chose to share their children’s funny moments with the entire Internet.
At the same time, some of the things these kids said were just rude or wrong. Hopefully their parents let me know what isn’t the best thing to say or corrected any wrong behaviour. Otherwise they’ll be running up to strangers saying the most mortifying things! Let us know what crazy things your kids have said or done in the comments!
20 You're Free When You're Dead
Well, this kid isn’t exactly wrong. When shown a picture of herself, this little girl declared that she looked free in it! But then her mom told her that she looked dead- so quite the opposite of being free and alive. Yet the little girl corrected her mom, saying that you are technically free when you’re dead.
Talking about death- especially in reference to yourself- is a pretty taboo thing to do. If this were an adult saying they’d be free if dead, we’d most likely be worried about their mental health. But most kids don’t seem to mind talking about this morbid subject, probably because they don’t really understand the subject. At least it makes for entertaining Tweets!
19 I'm Feeling High
Any parent would be concerned if their kid started talking about getting high. They’d want to know exactly what their little one means. Not all kids are referring to substance abuse when they say things like this! In this case, we have a feeling the kid meant something else other than feeling intoxicated. But it sure didn’t make what they said any less hilarious.
We wonder what this kid meant when they said they’re feeling high. Were they swinging high on a swing? Feeling high on life? And, where did they even hear that saying? We bet this mom is going to remember her child’s funny phrase rather than their artistic masterpiece come ten years. Oh, the weird things kids say!
18 He's Gonna Die Soon, Right?
Um, this would have been awkward! Kids tend to have no filter when it comes to pointing out things. They’ll tell you whether they think you look good (or not so good). They’ll let you know what they find weird or if they think you should change anything. And they’ll also let you know if they think you’re pretty old. That’s what happened in this case- except the kid said it to a total stranger!
While doing some grocery shopping with his mom, this kid saw an older gentleman using a walking stick. Perhaps they never saw someone using a cane before, because it made them think this man was on his deathbed. The embarrassing part came when the little one began shouting about how old the man looked and that he was probably going to die soon. This momma probably pushed her cart straight to the exit!
17 You Just Wanna Make Money
Well this kid knows what’s up! We all know that professionals in a people-based job might be extra nice if they think it will help them make money. Plus, being nice is also the right thing to do! Most people wouldn’t point out if they think someone is only being polite because of their job. Actually, that’s kind of what we’ve come to expect. But this kid wasn’t afraid to call out their Doctor’s B.S.
While visiting the doctor, this Aunt must have been horrified when her niece said that the Doctor was being funny, but probably only because he wants to make money. Granted, no one would want to have a rude or unfriendly family doctor, so Docs probably do amp up the friendliness to keep their patients. But this is still an awkward thing for a kid to say out loud!
16 I'm Just Helping Myself
Most parents teach their kids from a young age right from wrong. They’ll teach them that lying is bad, stealing is bad, being mean is bad, and, well, you get the picture! Most moms and dads also mention that cheating is bad, but this little girl seems to disagree. Instead, she had a completely different answer that seems to justify cheating. Of course, her mom probably didn’t agree!
This 5-year old told her mom that whatever she was doing wasn’t really cheating. Instead, she was “helping” herself. We’re sure most people who cheat do it because it’s beneficial for them, but that doesn’t make it fair or right. We bet this mom sat her little one down to explain again the difference between right and wrong. But boy is this little girl cute!
15 Truth About The Tummy
Here’s another kid who wasn’t afraid to point out the physical differences between people! Weight is often a touchy subject, particularly if the person in question is carrying a bit of extra chub. We’re sure this kid didn’t mean their comment in a hurtful way. But if it was anyone other than a 5-year old pointing this out, then it could definitely be taken this way.
Evidently this kid told his babysitter (when his mom was right there) that his momma didn’t have as big a tummy as her. It sounds like the babysitter had a curvy belly, but she probably didn’t want that pointed out. It was also probably embarrassing for the mom with the big-mouthed kid, who sounds like she was a lot slimmer than the other lady. Hopefully everyone was able to laugh this awkward moment off!
14 I'll Be Cross If You Kill Me
Yikes this kid sounds fierce! No one likes they’re driving skills criticized and their life threatened in the same sentence. To be honest, no one would like either of these things on their own, either. But that’s what this mom got when she was about to hop in the car with her 8-year old.
When they were about to leave the house, the 8-year old told their mom they didn’t think she should be driving. After the mom asked why that was, her kid said because they would be upset if their mom’s poor driving skills killed them. Yep, you read that right! We’re curious to know if this mom’s driving was that bad. And we’re even more curious to know if this kid grew up to become a good drive- or else, that’d be ironic.
13 Call The Doctor!
It sounds like this little girl needs an attitude check- and she’ll happily call the doctor to schedule an appointment! Most kids are offended when their parents tell them they have an attitude problem. Teenage angst wouldn’t be the same if they didn’t. But this adorable little girl had a different response when her mom told her to check her attitude, and it couldn’t be any funnier.
Maybe this mom scared her daughter by saying she needed to get her attitude check. It sounds like the little girl took it literally and though it’s something she needed to consult a professional about. At least this girl is serious about her health! We wouldn’t be worried about our kid’s attitude problem if this is how she responded. How sweet!
12 I Hate People
This kid already sounds like an adult! It’s mostly grown-ups who complain about stress and other grown-ups, but this child sounds like they’re maturing quickly. We’re betting this parent was in for a surprise when their kid came, sat himself down on the couch, and with a big sigh said this hilarious line:
We wonder what this kid was up to that made them so tired! Or at least what person peeved them off so much that they had to declare they hate the human race. This kid has many more years ahead where they’ll be feeling the same way. They should enjoy their childhood before they have to go into the big world filled with stress and disagreeable people.
11 Drink It From The Bottle
Most parents would be horrified if their child gave them instructions on how to drink wine, but we’re sure this mom was too busy holding back her laughter. It’s usually the parent who will complain about having to do dishes (and their kids making a mess!). But the opposite happened in this household when the 9-year old told his mom not to use a glass to drink her wine.
This kid sure has attitude- but in the best way possible! They literally just wanted less work, so who are we to judge this kid’s request. The child probably didn’t know that drinking wine out of a bottle isn’t the best sign of classiness. But at least this kid is thinking about the most efficient way to keep the household clean!
10 Not Without Some Beer
It’s not what this kid said that’s the problem, it’s what they did! It sounds like this mom and son were about to have some fun building Lego. So when the 5-year old was ready to get down to business, he did what anyone would do to prepare.
He took his shirt off and grabbed a beer from the fridge. Okay, the only people who would (or, at least should) be doing that is an adult who is legally allowed to drink. A 5-year old doesn’t fit into that category.
We’re sure this little one was just copying the behaviour of the adults around him. Maybe this is what his mom or dad does when they’re about to get serious. While this may have been cute, maybe it’s a sign to cut down on the beer drinking in front of the kids!
9 What's With The Wrinkles?
No one likes when someone points out they have wrinkles! But this kid didn’t get the memo when he said this hilarious yet awkward comment to his Grandma. It looks like the kid didn’t understand how the concept of wrinkles and old age work, but he sure wanted some answers!
We guess this kid was perplexed by his Grandma’s many wrinkles. We wouldn’t be able to contain our laughter if we heard someone asking why an old person’s skin wasn’t touching their body. That’s sure a creative way to put it! We only wish we knew how this Grandma explained the answer to her grandchild. Maybe she scared them and said this is what will happen when they get older! Hey, it’s the truth!
8 Boys Can Do It, But Girls Can't
So there are two problems here. Firstly, this little boy thinks saying bad words is okay. We’re sure his mother would disagree! But, more importantly, he thinks there are certain things that boys can do that girls can’t. Someone needs to give this little boy a lesson in feminism because all genders have the ability to say bad words!
With that being said, we’re sure no parent wants their kid saying potty words, regardless if they’re a boy or a girl! If we were this child’s parent, we’d sit him down and tell him that 1) cuss words are a no-no, 2) both girls and boys shouldn’t be saying these words and 3) girls can do the same things as boys! Hopefully his parents would agree with this!
7 Why You Gotta Do This To Me?
It’s pretty cringe-worthy hearing a kid talk about menstruation! For some reason, periods (and many other bodily functions) are taboo subjects in society. We don’t think they should be, after all they’re all normal things. But it’s still a bit weird and awkward when a kid wants to have a conversation in public about one of these topics.
However, it didn’t stop this little girl from asking her question! The girl was shocked to learn that women get their periods on weekends, too. Believe us, we wish it wasn’t true. When she got her “yes” answer, the little girl then adorably muttered “Jesus Christ.” We would have the same reaction if we were learning this for the first time- we just might keep it to ourselves, however!
6 Playing With Balls
Oh boy does this sound sexual! When you take this kid’s comment out of context, it sure sounds like they’re talking about something else. We’re sure their parent felt the same way when their child uttered this cringe-worthy phrase, but it sure does make for a good Tweet.
It turns out the kid was only talking about his homework, though we’re not sure what type of schoolwork would lead them to say this hilarious sentence. Maybe they meant they’re really good at juggling their homework? Or they had to do some sort of homework with balls? Whatever is the case, we’re sure this kid will have a good laugh when they’re old enough to understand what this actually sounds like.
5 Blood Is My Favourite Colour
At least this kid knows what colours are?! A child by the name of Fiona got slightly creepy when she revealed what her favourite colour was. We’re sure her mom was taken aback by her strange comment, but it’s not like the kid was telling a lie. She just seems extremely observant for a kid her age, though slightly morbid…
So yeah, this kid really likes the colour red because it’s the same colour as blood. We’re not sure if this means this kid as some sort of strange fascination or she’s just being weird as kids do, but this is hella creepy! We wouldn’t be surprised to hear little Fiona grew up to love horror movies. We wonder if red will always be her favourite colour!
4 The Sniffing Dog
Hey, the kid wanted an answer! We’re sure this little boy’s mom was embarrassed when he asked a total stranger this question. Dogs are known for sniffing each other’s behinds, but this kid thought they also do that to humans as well. So, they went ahead and asked an employee if the dog they just saw had smelled them. However, they used some very direct language!
There’s technically nothing wrong with what this kid said- he just seemed to be curious! But it would still be mortifying for your child to ask a person something about their private parts. We bet this mom had to sit her son down when they got home and have a discussion what’s appropriate to ask a stranger and what isn’t.
3 The Hungry Humanitarian
This 6-year old thought they had the answer when their old sibling wanted an answer to what “humanitarian” meant. We love the confidence of this kid, since that’s a pretty big word to know! However, their answer wasn’t exactly correct. What it was, though, was extremely hilarious.
The kid explained it this way. They think a humanitarian is similar to a vegetarian- after all, they sound similar, right? If a vegetarian eats only vegetables, then this kid assumed that a humanitarian must eat humans. We’re sure someone told them the right word for that is a cannibal, and that humanitarians are actually pretty good people.
2 Are They A Man Or Woman?
This kid had some harsh words to say about Queen’s lead singer Freddie Mercury. It sounds like the child was curious about how flamboyant Freddie was. Not every guy prances around in androgynous outfits singing at the top of their lungs, but that’s what made Freddie so cool!
If our kid said this, we’d sternly remind them that it’s rude to say such things. We’re sure the kid was just curious, but it’s important to remember that people come in all shapes and sizes. There are some women who look more masculine than others, and some men who look more feminine than others. Freddie Mercury definitely had a distinct look to him, but that was one of the things that made him great!
1 TMI About Bowel Movements
Kids really have no filters, including this kid who decided to get TMI with his mom about his bowl movements. We’re sure this little one’s mom cringed and then laughed when she heard what her mini-me had to say. Honestly, we’d probably just nod our head while holding back our laughter if a kid came up and said this to us.
It’s (kind of) great that kids aren’t afraid to get down and dirty when it comes to conversation. After all, sometimes parents need to ask their kids about their bodily functions. But it’s only great if it’s necessary to know the answer, not if your child just wants to have a casual conversation about their bathroom habits. Hopefully this kid learned the meaning of TMI sooner rather than later!