20 Mother's Day Gifts Moms Had To Pretend They Were Impressed By

It’s debatable how much of a real holiday Mother’s Day even is. Was it invented to sell more cards, which is an industry that wouldn’t even exist if we all just wrote letters? Sure, probably. Is it still a nice opportunity to show caregivers appreciation for all they do? Of course! Be anti-establishment and kind to mothers! Show appreciation while also questioning the system! It’s a totally doable multitask.

Now, if someone is that kind of person who’s so nice it’s just annoying, they’ll probably remind all of us that every day should be Mother’s Day. That’s a nice sentiment, but also, like, calm down. Anyway, every day isn’t Mother’s Day — only one day is, and oh boy, is that holiday known for not delivering.

Any gift from a child is, at best, endearing but of probably no value. And on the other end of it… well, that’s a long rabbit hole of DIY creations and strange crafts with seemingly no point. All we can say is that when a homemade gift made by a child goes wrong, it can go very wrong. What once would have merely accumulated dust on some overlooked shelf now gets to relive its weird glory on the Internet, and we’re all better for it.

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20 Breakfast In Bed Involves A Lot Of Variables

Children shouldn’t necessarily be cooking, although it’s super charming when they’re good at it. Cooking is all sharp, pointy knives (and the dull ones are less safe anyway) and open flames. That said, it makes no sense at all that this little kid wants their mother to eat their toys. Is it the general concept that if I like this, she must also like this? Or does the little one really assume their toys are edible? It’s those bright colors. They make you want to eat even plastic, at least up to a certain age. And then you turn that age when there’s no excuse for loading your parent’s omelette with Legos.

19 Honesty Is Overrated

Those three little words are so sweet to hear from the ones you care about. Throw in a chance to explain that love and won’t the sentiment only become sweeter? Well, maybe. An adult might wax poetic about all the care and patience lavished on them by an affectionate mother. But there are few kids out there who will write any kind of poem at all. Most of them just get to the point, and sometimes that point sounds like it’s coming from a very unsubtle employer. Case in point - this card, but at least the stars drawn on are nice.

18 A Customized Work Of Art

If this image wasn’t already recognizable enough, here’s a little backstory. One mother recalled her most recent Mother’s Day, including all the bumps in the road (think a teenage son actually giving his mother flowers, but they were taken from a neighbor’s bush). One of those bumps was that her, ”almost-three-year-old twins made me a lovely picture, on my office wall, in Sharpie.” Everyone knows Sharpie is the most fun writing utensil to scrawl on walls with and that pencil is by far the least fun. Sure, the permanence and everlasting-ness of the mess are taken into consideration, but mostly Sharpies feel great to draw with. Especially on office walls.

17 Treated Like A Queen... The Queen Of Somewhere, Maybe

This deeply confusing breakfast was a nice gesture and a sweet thought — but ultimately fodder for a great picture. The mother explained, “Manu… [made] me breakfast in bed, but it consists of a raw potato and a can of prune juice on a cookie tray. My present is a finger trap.” If anything could cause some build-up in the digestive system, it’s definitely eating a raw potato. As for the finger trap, maybe it’s a Mother’s Day gift because you two will always be together, but especially when you’re fighting? That’s a stretch but pretty adorable, if I may say so.

16 Yeah, There's Nothing Good In There

There are some fans of very girly aesthetics that might argue that pink and hearts make everything better. I’d implore them to look at this picture. If anything, the pink and hearts only make a fairly normal composting bin much sadder. It goes from a pretty mundane piece of infrastructure to some weird existential comment on… a failed relationship between mother and child? The idea that a gift is hiding inside? Is that gift an upset raccoon? This may be the first scratch 'n’ sniff Mother’s Day card that requires absolutely no scratching to sniff. That’s definitely not a plus in this whole debacle.

15 Are Snails A Gift? No, Right?

Kids and their forgetfulness are those secret ingredients that make Mother’s Day gifts so exceptionally bad. Whether it’s forgetting something very perishable in the bottom of a backpack or just forgetting the holiday until the last minute, the beauty of these bad gifts comes from the lack of preparation. So even though the mom in the picture clarified that “Disclaimer: no snails or mommies were harmed in the making of this photo...it was just a bag of dirty, stinky shells…” It’s still super gross. Still, one of the least awesome gifts if your mom can’t even pretend to smile and has to make the most grossed-out frown of all.

14 Jewelry Isn't Always A Gift

There’s a dated association between ugly homemade crafts and macaroni jewelry (or any number of home goods made with dry pasta - does anyone really want to look at that rather than eating cooked noodles?). The thing about the macaroni-jewelry trope is that plenty of things can be ugly, even jewelry made out of the things that jewelry is supposed to be made of - like beads and cords. All it needs to be a mess is to be ugly, and you can skip the noodles to achieve that look. But including dried pasta is a full-proof way to ensure no one ever wants this gift.

13 When A Kid Is Still Figuring Out What Mother's Day Is

If this little trinket looks, to you, nothing like what anyone would receive for Mother's Day, you’re not wrong. But the story that goes with it is so hilarious. One adult remembers that their mother told them, "When you were three, you learned what Mother's Day was. After I explained the traditions, you went into the backyard, found a rotting doll head, and gave it to me in bed. I'll be honest, I was scared and slapped it out of your hands. Thank god you were a quiet child, otherwise, I'm sure you would've cried all day.” Oh boy, that’s just so concerning.

12 You Can Totally, Definitely Go Wrong With A Card

Wow. Look, this card speaks for itself, and I might even argue it says more than enough. This kid definitely gets the significance of red as a color of passion and humanity, and it’s honestly a little intimidating. How metal is this kid? It’s entirely possible that none of us are intense enough to be critiquing their art. How do you respond to having this card handed to you during breakfast in bed? It’s just such a very real start to the day. How do you move on to brunch or a matinee after being handed what kind of amounts to a vow? Is anyone else reminded of Vikings?

11 Facts Are Facts

This picture was posted by a friend of the now-adult who made this mug. Honestly, that just backs up my theory that the Internet is the happiest retirement for bits of weird trash and homemade waste that would otherwise fade away, ignored and unremembered. Take this mug, for instance. It’s objectively bananas. It’s hilarious, from the slightly startling, weirdly shadowed picture to the most straight-forward inscription on any gift. This child seems so pragmatic or just down to earth. They’re the child who pretends to be the HR representative during imagination play. If any small child wears pleated khakis, it's this one. 

10 Most Kids Can't Cook, And They Know It

These bed in breakfast meals are straight up lunacy. They tell a story no one can follow. Most stories have a beginning, middle, and end. This one has a string cheese with a bite taken out of it (but the wrapping still impressively intact), a croissant so standard and correct looking it had to be store-bought and then… poppers? How did we get to fireworks from grocery store croissants? What’s happening? How does a mother even remember her own name when she wakes up to this? It really feels like we’re looking inside the psyche of this child, and I’m so not comfortable with the view.

9 A History Of Bad Days

Mother’s Day has an infamous reputation of being fairly cursed for some mothers who just can’t catch a break. Bad gifts are just the start - things can go really, really wrong. One regretful adult child outlined a decade-long timeline of the many ailments they caught or caused on Mother's Day. From waking up sick in second grade to making the obviously ill-fated choice in third grade when they, “Rode a bike in sandals, sandal fell off.” Okay, that’s all we need to hear about that story. The point is, everything kept going downhill - and not just the unmanned bike that kid clearly fell off.

8 The Gift That's Really For The Gift Giver

One of the secrets of not giving mom a blatantly bad gift is to avoid presents that are obviously for the gift giver. Here’s an easy rule of thumb: if the gift is something you intend on borrowing within forty-eight hours of giving, it’s not a good gift. That’s a roundabout way of buying yourself something. The point of all that is that this artisan, (tiny, most likely grubby) small-batch slime was definitely not actually meant for mom. This is a gift from the kids to the kids. And it’s making a mess before mom can even pretend to be excited about it.

7 Prevention Is Pretty Easy

It’s not just homemade cards that fall flat. Notice anything wrong on the card above? Well, the kids who bought it sure didn’t. They explain where they went wrong: "We accidentally got my mom a card this year that was not only a birthday card but was for a daughter. It was in the Mother's Day section and it said "daughter from us" so my sister grabbed it... I guess she didn't read it.” Yeah, “daughter from us” has almost all the right words to label what niche this card is. Except “Mothers’ Day” and that "from" is in the wrong place.

6 Not Everything Could, Or Should, Be Worn

Not that it was ever meant to be worn anywhere but… well, now, in the age of irony, there are ugly sweater parties. Otherwise, this would be worn… when it’s given? Even then, a fairly subtle mother could worm her way out of trying it on and instead, fold it nicely. All that said and totally keeping in mind this would never be washed because it can’t even be worn - can you imagine what this thing could do to a washer or drier? It would wreak havoc on machinery that cost thousands, just through the wrath of tinsel. It’s ugly, but it’s also impressive.

5 Okay. What Is That?

I can’t get over these deeply confusing breakfasts. If we’re going to be way too generous, let’s call this a deconstructed peanut butter wrap with whole bananas and a Fruit Loop garnish. If we’re a little more honest, this is on its way to being a soggy mess. If anything can soak the lacquer straight out of cereal and transform it into predigested mush, it’s absolutely a banana. Those things are agents of chaos. And it’s not sliced? The little brown bit on top is still there? It’s so much food that’s so not going to be eaten, unless it was given to a truly selfless mother who actually attempted it. That poor soul.

4 It's Hard To Forget This Bookmark

Is that a vulture or a turkey? Look, I guess it doesn’t matter, but it does matter to me. Just because one of those birds makes some sense for a little kid to draw (and we all know that famous Thanksgiving tradition of giving your parent a bookmark) and the other bird… is a vulture. And is not exactly the bird any of us want to see. The fastest track for a seemingly normal kid to become something out of a movie about ghosts and old, shuttered buildings is to pick up a habit of drawing vultures. That’s just not a good sign.

3 There's A Competition Going On, And We Want Nothing To Do With It

Oy, this is the beginning of the end. If anyone wonders why in twenty years these sisters are competing for everything… it started here. And ya know what? We will just… see ourselves out. What? No, both of those pictures are good. Sure, equally good. Look, how can you really measure art? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and all I see here is beauty! Sure, these are two pictures of the same subject. I don’t look at all like that sad, fronting Jack O’Lantern! I don’t know what you’re talking about! Okay, bye forever - please don’t try and find me!

2 It's Cute, Just Worthless

Some parents may be very enchanted by their little one bringing them a leaf they thought was pretty. And some parents have a more finely tuned nonsense detector than that. A few parents may even offer some constructive criticism about what counts as a gift! That said, this is thoughtful that a little one wanted to share something they found beautiful with their mother. It’s possibly the sweetest gift that took absolutely no preparation. That’s one great reason to avoid any crafts held together with glue when you’re out of time - not enough time for that stuff to dry. Go with a rock you found or something!

1 Definitely, Don't Use These

Hopefully, any parents that cherish these wooden spoons also have the common sense not to use them. Or they’re so cherished that it would be sacrilegious to do so. There’s no food that this ink should leech into - not even squid ink pasta. That’s just a different thing. If the point of kids' gifts is to be seen and not actually used, this one just passes. But keep those out of the kitchen, unless it’s a purely decorative kind of display. Even then, keep it high up so a kid doesn’t try to use this while preparing a confounding breakfast in bed.

Sources: reddit.com

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