When a woman gets pregnant, it seems like everyone seems to have an opinion on what she should do. Anything, from clothing to how often she should sleep, is fair game for those who have an opinion. These same people might also be the ones suggesting pregnancy items that are designed to help but, in reality, are only a hindrance or an annoyance.
Similar to an orange peeler or soap on a rope, there are just some inventions that are utterly useless. While many things have been invented to make a pregnancy go a bit smoother, there aren't too many modern ones out there worth noting.
That's why a list such as this one simply had to be made. There are way too many things out there that masquerade under the pretense of 'helpful' when they're really not. Therefore, it's our job to eliminate the contenders from the things that actually count and, well, this list is the former. Many moms have discovered the hard way that a razor extender and wipe warmers really don't make much of a difference, and it's our hope to spread the word before other moms fall prey to the pregnancy 'must haves.' Trust us, some of these speak for themselves.
20 Very Specific Maternity Wear
So many moms will tell you that maternity wear simply isn't worth it. Not only is it more expensive simply because it's stretchy, but it's also a big investment for clothes you'll likely only wear once or twice (maybe three times) in your life. Chances are that by the time any mom has reached the point where she needs maternity clothes, she won't likely want to wear anything fancy, anywhere. Therefore, the need for specific maternity clothes is somewhat eliminated right off the bat. A cheap alternative is to invest in yoga pants, stretchy jeans, or wait it out in comfortable dresses until nine months is up.
19 The Infamous Morning Sickness Bags
It's common knowledge that pregnancy can cause some rather unpleasant side effects, morning sickness included. However, that doesn't mean that a mom-to-be needs bedazzled morning sickness bags or any bags, for that matter. They're an unnecessary expense for something that lasts for such a short period of time and, what's even more, not every mom actually gets morning sickness while she's pregnant. It might be a once-in-a-blue-moon type of thing, or it could be a regular thing. Regardless, spending tons of money on bags that you're just going to, well, ruin anyway, just doesn't really make sense. A plastic bag does the job just as well, as gross as it sounds.
18 Radios That Play Music For Your Baby
For some reason, people think that pressing some kind of speaker or headphone up to their womb is the only way that a baby can hear anything. While, yes, things are a bit muffled in there, it doesn't mean a mom-to-be's baby can't hear anything from a reasonable distance. After all, studies have shown that a baby will recognize his or her mother's voice, right? Playing music near a growing baby is just as effective as forcing headphones over their nine-month home. In fact, it probably pays off a bit more to speak to your baby than to play music for him or her.
17 Can A Blanket Really Protect Against Technology 'Radiation'?
Chances are, using the microwave or texting on a cell phone is not going to do much in the way of affecting an unborn baby. When we think of 'radiation,' many of us forget that the significant amounts of it come from two places: air travel and getting x-rays. Unless a mom is doing one of those two things, it's not really an issue for her to be using common household appliances. For first time parents, it's totally understandable that things such as potential radiation can cause concern, but fear not — your home is perfectly safe, and you're totally fine to use a microfiber blanket over one made of kryptonite.
16 Forget About Sleep Aids, There's No Getting Comfortable
Some moms struggle with sleep when it comes to later pregnancy months and the good news is this: they're not alone. Rather than resort to holistic methods such as massage, essential oils, etc., some moms will turn to sleep aids.
This is bad news for two reasons. One, there's no telling what's really safe and what's not when there's another tiny life growing inside you. And two, there's no saying whether or not they'll actually work because most of the time, the problem lies in trying to get comfortable. If heartburn or indigestion is the culprit, it's far safer to try antacids than turn to sleep aids.
15 Pregnancy 'Stretch Oil' Is No Substitute For Good 'Ol Shea Butter
Many women have tried and many have conceded when it comes to what works for stretch marks. Each woman is different as is her skin type, but do you know what works well for everyone? A Shea and cacao oil or butter blend. While there exists an endless list of lotions, oils, and balms that claim to reduce the appearance of stretch marks, the truth is that none of these are pure magic. There's no better substitute for something that has worked for decades and, not to mention, is far cheaper than the alternative. Get yourself a good 'ol tub of the blend and use it every day. We can't promise stretch marks will disappear, but they'll certainly fade in time.
14 Maternity Bands Don't Really Work That Well
The number one complaint about tummy bands is that they never seem to remain in place. Think about it; there's this huge elastic band that's designed to fit every woman's body type with zero movements; sounds crazy, right? That's because it is. There's nothing that's 'one size fits all' when it comes to pregnant bellies and if it's really bothersome, you'll have better chances purchasing something customizable. The last few months of pregnancy are uncomfortable and yes, you will feel as though you've reached max density. The good news is it's worth it, maternity band or not, and trust us, you're glowing.
13 A Razor Extender Is As Silly As It Looks
The number one question here is this: Who really cares if a woman has shaved her legs before going into labor? This is important to some moms, though, and we can't fault them for craving a sense of normalcy when it comes to their maintenance routine. We've got no advice on this other than razor extenders are likely more dangerous and silly-looking than they are helpful. The best thing a pregnant mom-to-be can do is to ask for help from someone she trusts. A partner, sibling, friend, whoever — and let them do the deed for her. This might sound even less glamorous but hey, you've gotta do what you've gotta do.
12 A Special Outfit For Delivery Day
Occasionally, new moms get a bit crazy and decide that giving birth can't happen in just any old hospital gown. This is totally fine, however, don't expect to want to wear that gown or bathrobe again. It's an incredibly nice gesture and a sentimental response to a tremendous experience, but it's also one that's messy, sweaty, and definitely not G-rated. What a mom gives birth in is her own choice but keep in mind, the gown she's given is what she's given for a reason. They're comfortable, breathable, and, most importantly, able to be thrown away at the end of the day with no money lost from her.
11 Additionally, A Postpartum Bathrobe Is Equally Useless
Eh, this is a little more understandable than a specific gown or bathrobe to give birth in, but it's still not the best place for your money. To commemorate being a new mom, women often go out of the way to find a chic 'live-in' bathrobe that they can wear 24/7. The problem for new moms is this: They don't anticipate how easily it is to become overheated in one of those things. Additionally, babies will pull on anything, including bathrobe ties. A pair of yoga pants and a tee will do perfectly well when changing a diaper, trust us.
10 A Neck Supporter For Infants?
It's true, there is such a thing as a neck supporter for your infant. While things like this obviously shouldn't be trusted 100%, they do exist and they do claim to make life easier. There's no denying that it can be tiring to constantly put your arm at work supporting the head of another but hey, that's all part of being a parent. While these neck supports claim to give an infant adequate support, there's no surefire way to know if they're actually doing their job. The only for-sure thing is doing the holding yourself, which is likely something you'll want to do as a new mom.
9 A Hip Band That Claims To "Shrink" Hip Width...
Yeah yeah, we've heard the testimonials, too. There are all kinds of gimmicks out there including shaking bands that promise to shrink tire tummies just by the sheer vibration of the mechanism inside. There's no definitive way for a woman to change her shape after pregnancy unless she commits the time and effort to it, just as anyone would who's trying to get back in shape. Hip-hugging bands will only conceal what someone is trying to lose and honestly? They're not even comfortable. Don't believe the hype and instead, invest in healthy exercise and eating habits... They're better for you, anyway!
8 A Personal Baby Movement Monitor Should Never Replace A Professional Sonogram
Any type of baby technology is a bit fishy when it comes to claiming it's just like the real thing. When it comes down to it, there is absolutely no substitute for getting a professional sonogram done by a medical professional. While some technology does offer a glimpse into what's going on inside the womb, all of that is for nothing if there's no professional around to let you know what you're actually seeing or hearing. Similar to the baby-kick devices that send notifications out every time an infant kicks, it's something that's a lot of money for really no significant reason.
7 Apps To Keep Track Of How Much Your Baby Eats
The last thing any mom wants to do is keep track of how much her baby is eating while she's breastfeeding. But, of course, there is an app for that, just like there's an app for everything nowadays. We're not really sure why anyone would need to keep track of how much their (growing) baby is eating as long as they're going to routine doctor checkups, but hey, to each their own. Regardless, this is an app with the best of intentions, but really no significant purpose. A baby is going to eat when he or she is hungry and there's simply no getting around that or scheduling it.
6 Why Buy Books When We Have The Internet?
We may have chuckled just a little bit at the thought of pregnancy books. They are very much still in existence but whether or not they're used, well, that's another story. The scene at the end of Knocked Up when the two main characters finally come together and bond over having read 'the pregnancy books' is sweet and sentimental, but somewhat unrealistic. Not only does everyone have access to an unlimited source of information online nowadays, but there are also virtual groups and communities that share exactly what's written in these books. Additionally, every mom-to-be should have a doctor or midwife on-call, who will have all the answers.
5 A Pregnancy Pillow Is Overpriced And Underused
As pictured, sometimes a pregnancy pillow starts out with the best of intentions and then just kind of falls short. Whether it's used by a woman's partner or her dog, chances are, it won't often be used by her. It's tough enough to find a comfortable sleeping position without having an enormous pillow in the way. Some women do swear by these things but if you're the type who needs significant space in the bed, this probably isn't your cup of tea. Not to mention, one pillow does not fit all — the size of your bed as well as how far along you are will change the outcome of this pillow's use significantly.
4 Wipe Warmers Are Nice In Theory But Useless IRL
Not only is a wipe warmer a fancy way to say "hey, buy this!" but it's also completely useless. While it may seem like a pleasant option to use a warm wipe rather than a room temperature one for a baby's bottom, it really makes zero difference. In reality, babies will still cry when they have their diapers changed simply because they're babies. A warm wipe will not likely change that and, in fact, will only make you realize how silly it is. A warm wipe might feel nice for us as adults but for babies? They couldn't really care less.
3 Fancy Crib Bedding Might Be Part Of 'Nesting' But Is Unnecessary
Not only is extra bedding proven dangerous for infants who aren't yet used to sleeping in cribs, but it's also (very) extra. When a baby is first born, their eyesight isn't fully developed so—to be brutally honest—the only person seeing this gorgeous sleepytime decor are the adults in the room. It's a sad fact but it's true. Being a baby is far simpler than some people realize and to them, it's really all the same. In fact, kids don't really begin caring about their bedrooms until they're old enough to decorate and hang out in them, themselves. RIP cute bedding.
2 Babies Don't Need Shoes If They're Not Walking
This one, by far, gets the most eye rolls from experienced moms. Yes, it's absolutely adorable to buy baby shoes for your baby as a 'welcome to the world, baby!' gift. Unfortunately, this is now one pair of shoes that they will likely never wear. Babies are notorious for being barefooted 98% of the time or simply wearing socks. Shoes only get in the way and will eventually hinder the process when they begin crawling and walking. So while those shoes look adorable and are a really cute keepsake, they won't really serve any purpose other than as a sentimental keepsake later on.
1 New Shoes For Mama
Whoops! So you're pregnant and have decided to treat yourself and go shoe shopping, right? There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with that, except for the fact that there is.
Moms who have been around the block once or twice are all too familiar with the fact that yes, your feet will likely grow in size once you're about to deliver a baby. Due to joints expanding and muscles getting ready for labor, everything gets a bit more wobbly and loose. As a result of this, women often notice that they'll temporarily go up a shoe size.
It's far better to wait until after your ankle stop swelling than to have a gorgeous pair of kicks that you can do nothing but stare at, right?