Social media etiquette is deeply complicated, a little neurotic, and well above my pay grade to explain. That’s the kind of stuff that could fill an entire Miss Manners book, even if some generations don’t agree that there’s any method to the madness. Commenting and making sure to heart a best friend’s latest post before some acquaintance does or the concerns of leaving a footprint after stalking an ex online — it’s all deeply intuitive and probably contradicts itself. It’s now a huge part of our society.
But it goes without question that there’s some generational confusion surrounding behavior on social media. Combine that with a healthy dose of parents actually trying to embarrass their kids, and there are some really weird family interactions that have been immortalized on the Internet. When scientists dreamt about a big collection of all of humanity’s information, they didn’t think it’d be used to see the awkwardness of a self-serious kid and goofy parent, but here we are. What else is technology for? Yeah, saving lives and reaching outer space but mostly seeing the moments in which parents went out of the way to embarrass their kid to the largest audience possible, and just relishing it.
20 Don't Call Out Every Gift Your Daughter Doesn't Wear
When a mother complained that she had spent $50 on, "a stylish necklace- bought it for my daughter and never seen her wear it,” it’s very likely (and definitely the case) that this poor mom didn’t realize she had just invested in a very specific type of accessory, normally used by, ahem, adventurous couples... Yup, she was just trying to support her daughter’s edgy, probably a little goth, look and make her offspring feel seen outside of applying a ton of eyeliner. And what happened? She immediately went astray, and now everyone that daughter’s ever met knows exactly what the girl received in the mail a few weeks ago and has been hiding.
19 Moms Aren't Always Careful With Words
When one mother posted a picture of her beautiful son (it’s subjective but most likely that she thinks that), she didn’t mean to provide all the fodder in the world for bullies to go in on him. In the picture, he’s sipping from what appears to be some kind of piña-colada-related tropical drink.
That’s not the problem — the problem was her saying, "this is a virgin” as the caption.
Sure, she later clarified that she meant the drink, but obviously, no one cares. The damage was done, and it was so well intentioned. No one thinks she meant the drink, so much as she meant the boy.
18 When Online Friends Are Informed Of A Time Out
A mother hijacked her kid’s account to post, "I wanted to let all of you know that he is no longer allowed on [this platform] due to the choices he made today. He posted on [this site] personal information about someone, that regardless if it was true or not, it was rude. Because he chose to try and make her mad by spreading personal information, I thought he should know how it feels when the tables are turned. He wet the bed until he was 8." Point made — lesson learned. Well, I seriously hope he’s learned his lesson because this isn’t the kind of parent that messes around.
17 The Girl's On A Great Track
It’s low-key fascinating that people can be stuffed into a subway like stinky human sardines and have no idea what kind of secrets their neighbor has hidden in a backpack or an oversized purse. And finally, for once in our lives, we get to see inside that secret and all the way into a mastermind’s brain. The caption to this image was, "MY BABY SISTER'S BAG.” In this case, not embarrassment — honor and everlasting respect. This little girl is nowhere near womanhood and yet so much wiser than some people who are firmly in adulthood. She’s a grown up in knowing how to achieve what she wants, and that’s what matters.
16 This Shouldn't Be A PSA
Every embarrassing parent has a complex and very personal relationship with puns, but only a select few of the most embarrassing kind make those puns in public. And then make those puns… really gross. Take one status by a parent that a kid was tagged in — "Just wanted to let you know grandma is out of the hospital. She is feeling much better, just a lot of diarrhea. When she will be fully recovered? Well, that all depends. LOL get it?" That parent move of making a really out-there, gross joke and then asking, “Get it?” is some old-school activity, to be sure.
15 Some Secrets Can Be Smelled
Do you see what’s in the drawer? No, it’s what you think. Exactly what you don’t want to think but know. You were right on first thought so you can stop looking. This was a Snapchat that obviously became infamous with the (very much cleaned up) caption of, "mum has just found a drawer full of p*ss... and my 3-year-old brother blamed the dog”. Not only is this gross in a way only a child would gravitate towards, but it’s also the kind of lie that only a child would make. A lie that’s so unreal that it’s obvious no one has ever lied to them.
14 Most Areas Aren't For Snorkeling
You don’t have to know the child in question to embarrass them over social media. If their actions are the thing sentencing them to being super embarrassed, it’s up to whoever is closest. So for instance, this picture went viral on Snapchat with the caption, "THERE'S A KID SNORKELING IN THE FOUNTAINS AT NOTTS MARKET SQUARE, I'm done.” It’s so funny for that to be someone’s day. What kind of chemicals are in that not-pond? Has there ever been a body of water more manmade? I love how the parent is a few feet away like supervision is the liability with this activity.
13 Everyone Has A Special Talent
If this picture isn’t the best thing you’ve seen in a full calendar month, you’re not looking closely enough. But here’s a hint — the caption to this picture is, "Look how excited and proud of where he put all the carrots”! This is someone’s nephew who spent however long it takes for a recent toddler to balance anything on top of anything else, and now he’s enjoying that delicious moment of victory and completion. In his defense, it really seems like carrots go on top of rectangular cabinet handles. They’re at the right height and they’re the right shape — why not?
12 Some Burns Hit Too Close To Home
Maybe this dad had been barraged by a news stream full of his son’s muscular, no-facial-expression selfies. Or maybe this was the first one he saw and he couldn’t stand by that level of ridiculousness for even a moment. Sometimes the straw that breaks the camel’s back is just the first straw. Well, either way, the dad figured out his own little photoshoot. Is that a sweater they both own for matching dad-and-son days? No clue, but that would make this even sweeter than it already was. The dad definitely got the hat angle down, among other factors.
11 Some Levels Of Embarrassment Are Special
This story is so gorgeous- I’ll let it do the talking. "I know dads are meant to be embarrassing but mine just takes the cake. When in Hollister please do not complain about how dark it is and then retrieve a head torch from your pocket and continue to shop amongst the Christmas crowd as if completely normal”. There truly is nothing as sweet or pure in this world as a father who prepared for a day at the mall by packing his pocket-sized head torch. Unless that’s something he always has on him because he knows raising children means he might find himself in any sort of dim situation. It doesn’t matter- it’s already perfection.
10 If You Can't Correct Them, Join Them
This online exchange between a kid and their parent (you’ll figure out who the parent is by the level of obliviousness) is absolute gold. It’s the experience of being annoyed and confused without any of the trouble of actually knowing this parent or being anywhere near there. Buckle up:
"where to buy chicken casserole supplies"
"Dad, this is [a social media site], not google. Try again"
"where to buy chicken casserole supplies"
"where to buy supplies for chicken casserole"
"WTF! are you serious?"
"chicken casserole supply store"
"Fiesta Mart, 8130 Kirby Drive”
What else is there to do? Especially if you’re the one eating the casserole.
9 You Are The Company You Keep
A lot of adults aren’t even intending on embarrassing the kids in question. They’re just so awed and surprised to even be in the veritable splash zone of childhood weirdness that they have to share it with the world, in part so they can prove it happened. It’s all joy when this loving aunt or uncle posts that, "Most kids have a stuffed animal or a blankie. My niece has one of those plastic owls u put outside to scare away birds”. Sure- get attached to a weird object. Sleep with it? That’s a new level and this will make a great story a decade from now.
8 Yes, A Kid Can Use A Couch Wrong
If this picture is a little too close to that moment of a parent waking up in the middle of the night and seeing the silhouette of a ghost kid where they shouldn’t be, you’re not alone. The caption to this little gem was, "Walked in on my son watching TV like this. Freaked me out for a second.” Yeah, I’m freaked out for more than a second. I guess I can believe watching television like that could be comfortable (and let’s be totally clear — plunging your body into a couch, well beyond where you should be laying), but who would ever think of doing that?
7 Some Kids Have Simple Dreams
We’ve all met unique adults, and that’s its own experience, but there’s something so unfiltered and pure about meeting a little kid who will clearly grow up to be a weird grown-up. The caption to this picture (if you were wondering about the kid’s face paint and had a hunch what it was but couldn’t quite be sure) is, "my son didn't want to be a tiger or a superhero, he wanted to be a traffic light.” Not all heroes wear capes, and not all heroes are even heroes. Some are just traffic lights, and oh man, does that make this world even sweeter.
6 The Clap Back Comes Quick
What does a parent do when their teenage child posts the kind of self-serious status that’s so clearly untrue it barely takes a second to realize? Hopefully, they contribute their efforts for the kid to come back down to Earth. And to clarify, that status is, "I didn't choose the thug life, the thug life chose me" coupled with a deeply innocuous selfie that doesn’t require a geotag for it to be obvious it was taken in the suburbs. And the parent’s response? Golden. ”You can't be a thug and scared of the dark... Or scared of taking a shower when no one else is home."
5 When Bedtime Stories Make Everyone Conk Out
Not even the best produce-based pun can make an incredibly boring bedtime story any easier. Oh, does that seem overly specific? Well, I promise that I’m right. Bedtime is being done when the book is so monotonous that the parent falls asleep before the kid. In this case, it was one parent who tweeted, "I Told my 2-year-old to pick out a bedtime story. She chose a 240-page seed catalog. Lettuce get started." Well, first and last time she gets that liberty until ten years down the road when she gets to control the music and chooses an album of white noise.
4 First Thought Isn't Always Best Thought
When a girl posted the kind of contemplative status that only a pre-teen can manage, her parent had a quick clap-back. Look, it’s beautiful how self-absorbed and emo a kid can be, and that’s all the more reason to puncture their self-seriousness with a jab. Fine — it’s annoying, but man, it feels great when you’re the teen in question. This is the way it went: The status was, "Maybe it's not always about trying to fix something... Maybe it's about starting over and making something better," and the first comment, before any like or love, was, "And that's why you have a younger brother."
3 Trying Not To TMI Isn't Enough
If moms get excited when their children grow up to look a certain way, that’s fine. Maybe they were low-key worried, not everything would work out or they’re just proud that their baby is about to be a woman. But there are some things that just don’t need to be bragged about, especially not without a daughter’s permission. I thought it was just that your mom tells her siblings — nope. As included at compositecode.blog: "My 13 yr old daughter went to the bathroom and is scared about what she saw. She is all grown up now! Trying not to TMI!" and if you didn’t pick up on the subtext, one commenter asked "Period?" Yes.
2 All Relationships Have Highs And Lows
A kid tried to celebrate her parent’s long and happy marriage but messed up right out of that gate. Her post, "My parents have been married for 27 years today. No big deal.” immediately caught her parent’s attention, to which they responded, ”27 years of marital bliss. 19 years of disappointment with a daughter who can't spell "Parents". Wow, tell everyone your daughter went to pre-school with and met during one or two group hangs how you really feel. Hey, don’t mind us and our popcorn- we’re just watching some kind of very awkward family drama go down over a social media update.
1 The Truth Will Find You, Publicly
Oh boy, nothing like tough love in front of everyone. When a girl posted online, "Why is it so impossible to find a co-signer? :(" the harshest comment came from her mother: “I'm not sure how Dad explained it to you... it's not that we can't... but it was made perfectly clear when you chose to goof-off in high school, then drop out of college and not join the military, that your choices would be limited.” Yup, that’s pretty clear, so no idea how the daughter didn’t get it. All the other comments were about how co-signer looks like co-singer but… they weren’t nearly as useful or rough as this one.