During pregnancy, the woman has the role of carrying the baby in her womb for nine months, and soon after, to nurse the newborn for a few months at least. During this time, a man's role is not so clearly defined, because he can only be as involved as his woman needs him, and can at times feel as if his contribution is little to none.
The above is a feeling that a man should never entertain because he is very important through every stage of his woman's pregnancy, through to the day the baby has grown up and is an independent adult. For a woman to be a successful mom and wife, she needs her man to be there for her every step of the way, because raising up a child and taking care of the family is a team effort.
However, even when children are growing up, girls start picking up information and advice concerning pregnancy, childbirth, and taking care of children even before they are ready to have a family. Boys, on the other hand, hardly ever come across such deliberate teaching and would more often than not, feel less prepared to become fathers compared to their female counterparts who are ready and willing to become mothers.
Since every man is unique, here are 20 signs a woman can look for to determine whether her man is ready to be a dad or not.
20 He's Not Bothered By His Woman’s Ticking Biological Clock
A couple in a long-term relationship should plan for important milestones such as moving in together, getting married, or having children. Although most women get married when they're between 25 and 40 years of age, the best age for a woman to have a healthy baby is when she's between 20 and 35 years old.
The men who seem not to be alarmed by their women’s ticking biological clocks are more often than not the ones who feel as if they're not ready to be dads. This can be detrimental to the woman especially if she is looking forward to having children sooner rather than later. Women concerned about this should engage their spouses in a serious conversation to avoid future regrets.
19 He Panics At The Possibility Of Having Children
Some men are very keen on taking extra precaution when it comes to having relations with their women. While protection is always a great idea, some men do it for one specific reason; they do not want their women to get pregnant.
One of their main reasons for this is feeling as if they're not ready to join fatherhood or they do not think their partners are the right ones for them. Any woman in such a situation must see this as a red flag, and she needs to take care. In the event that a woman tells her man that she thinks she could be pregnant and he freaks out, then he’s surely not ready to be a dad.
18 He’s Not Responsible
A man who is ready to have children will definitely appear to be responsible in every way. Such a man knows he can’t afford to stay at home the whole day because he needs to make a decent income for his family. Furthermore, he will have goals and do everything he can to achieve them because he would want to be a great husband as well as a wonderful father to his future kids.
On the other hand, a man who might not see the importance of having his life together might not be ready to be a dad. A woman can tell whether her man is ready to be a dad just by considering his level of responsibility on all matters, as well as looking at how he's living his life now.
17 He Never Talks About Having Kids
A couple that has been in a steady relationship for a while should definitely be thinking of having a family because the next logical step for a beautiful and committed relationship is having children. However, if a man in such a relationship hardly ever talks about having children and is always brushing off any discussion along those lines, it's very likely that he's not ready to have children.
In the event that such a man is looking forward to achieving a goal in his life, which having children might hinder, the woman can remain calm. However, if such a man provides no reasonable explanation for never wanting to talk about kids, then this is a serious red flag.
16 He Is Not Nurturing
A man does not need to be a dad for a woman to discover whether he's nurturing or not, because such a quality develops in someone from a tender age. A man who is helpful and caring, who is keen on noticing when his partner is stressed, and steps in to help people around him will surely make a great dad.
A nurturing man will always encourage his woman to achieve her goals and dreams and will even assist her in every way. Such a man knows that he should always put other people's needs ahead of his, because that's the secret to a great life and becoming a great dad. However, if a man is anything but nurturing, then he might not be ready to be a dad.
15 He Does Not See The Importance Of Saving
Saving is a basic financial discipline and a clear indicator that someone is thinking about his or her future. A man, who not only understands the importance of saving but also actually does it, is responsible and is probably ready to take great care of a family.
A woman should be very wary of having kids with a man who spends all his income on things that he can forego, and leaves nothing to keep for future use. A man who does not see the need to save and believes in living in the moment might not be ready to be a dad. Regardless of just how awesome it is to have a baby, raising even one up is not cheap.
14 His Response To Kids Is Not What You Expect
A man who enjoys spending time with kids and even playing with them would make a great dad because children value the time they spend with their parents doing what they love. Watching how a man responds to kids can tell you a lot about his attitude towards children, and this, of course, will tell you whether he's ready to be a dad or not.
If a man always appears to not be very excited about spending time with kids, then he might not be ready for one of his own. Furthermore, if he gets annoyed with parents whose kids throw tantrums in public and even claim how lucky he was not to have such kids, then clearly this man is not ready for fatherhood.
13 He Stopped Hanging Out With His Friends Who Have Kids
Most couples who don’t have children eventually find themselves surrounded by couple friends who have kids. When a couple realizes that all its friends have kids and it appears as if they're the only ones without, then this is an indication that they need to at least think about having kids.
However, if the man not only avoids talking about the issue but goes ahead to stop hanging out with his friends who have kids, then he's clearly not open to having one or even a few of his own. It's always difficult for a couple that has been trying to have kids with no success, but the man in such a situation is very different from one who does not even want to try to have kids.
12 He’s Not Ready To Give Up His Social Life
Some of the men who shy away from having kids usually think about the impact that such a huge responsibility will have on their lives. They imagine a situation where they will not be able to see their friends anytime they want, not eating out as they wish, or not being able to attend any of the social events, they enjoy attending so much.
Many of these men do not understand that it's possible to have a lot of fun as a dad since having children opens up a whole new world of exciting adventures and experiences they will surely enjoy. However, if a man is not willing to adjust his social life, then he might not be ready to be a dad.
11 He Doesn’t Have Strong Family Ties
Many men are often more open to having children if they had a positive support system around them when they were growing up. If they grew up in a family, where members hardly cared for each other, or if they had a difficult childhood, then their thoughts and feelings about having their own children might not be so positive.
Such men might not want to have kids that would end up going through what they went through, and could, therefore, feel as if they're not ready to have kids. This issue might call for the intervention of a professional counselor, because some of these men need to heal before they start their own families.
10 He’s Not Ready To Give Up His Sleep
Although babies are a huge blessing, soon-to-be parents should prepare adequately for the lifelong responsibility that awaits them the moment their babies are born. Newborn babies have no regard for their parents' daily routines since regardless of whether it's day or night, they will keep waking up every few hours crying to get their parents' attention. Of course, this means that the parents will not be able to sleep like the used to.
Not sleeping enough is one of the biggest changes couples go through when they get a baby for the first time. In order for both mom and dad to get some decent sleep, they might need to take turns taking care of their baby especially at night. Therefore, if a man is very particular about his sleeping patterns, then he might not be ready to be a dad.
9 He's Not What You'd Call Patient
It will be very frustrating for any man to have a baby if patience is not one of his qualities. Babies require their caregivers to be very patient with them because they are totally dependent on their caregivers and they're not old enough to be considerate of anyone else's feelings.
Some people claim that being a parent is the ultimate test of one’s ability to stay in control of his or her feelings and frustrations. This is because a baby will just do what he or she wants, regardless of what a parent thinks or feels about it. If a man is rigid, impatient, and always has to have things go his way, then he might not be ready to be a dad.
8 He’s Comfortable With His Achievements
It's possible for a woman to be in a steady relationship with a man who is comfortable with what he has already achieved in life and does not want to change a thing. For example, if such a man was living in a bachelor pad when they met and even after getting married, he still doesn't want to move, then she should see this as a red flag.
Her man might be afraid to embrace any form of change, and this might lead him to be comfortable with his life just as it is. Therefore, since getting a baby would definitely change his life significantly, such a man might not be ready to be a father.
7 He Is Afraid Of Being Trapped
Some men out there find it hard to commit to one woman for long, and this leads them to get in and out of numerous relationships within a very short period. Such men often believe that having a baby will definitely tie them down to a woman for a very long time, if not for life, and would, therefore, do anything to make sure their woman does not get pregnant.
First, if a woman is in a relationship with such a man, she should really consider looking for someone who is serious about commitment, because this man will eventually break her heart and move on to the next girl. In addition, such a man would not make a good father, because it's highly likely he might leave the woman to take care of the baby all on her own.
6 He Does Not Notice The Little Things
Men who are good at remembering even the tiniest of details in their women usually end up becoming great dads. A man who always remembers his woman's birthday, her favorite flowers, and even notices when she has changed her hair, has a shot at becoming the best dad out there.
Soon-to-be Parents have to remember a lot of important things when they get a baby like doctor’s appointments, administering medication when their baby is sick, any allergic reactions they might have, changing diapers, and so many other things. Therefore, since there's so much a couple has to remember and look out for in their kids, a man who does not notice the little things might not be ready to become a dad.
5 He Has Not Fulfilled His Own Expectations
Most men set goals for things they expect to achieve before having kids. Not all men will meet such expectations because life does not always happen as we expect. However, the men who are always serious about meeting their expectations usually end up becoming very reliable. Therefore, if such men have an expectation of becoming great dads, chances are they will want to have children and work towards becoming the best dads ever.
However, a man who is still struggling to meet the expectations he had set out for himself before getting a baby might not be willing to think about getting children. Furthermore, unless he achieves his expectations, he might not be willing to go down that road.
4 He May Be Struggling Financially
Having a baby and taking good care of him or her can be very expensive and couples need to save for a while before getting to a comfortable financial position. Some of the things a couple will keep spending money on, for the sake of their baby, will include baby essentials such as food, diapers, childcare, clothing, furniture, and many more.
Therefore, if a man is not in a position to provide all these, he might not be too eager to start a family. Almost all men out there know that they have a duty to provide for their family, whether their women are working or not. If such men cannot provide, they end up having a low self-esteem.
3 He Says He’s Not Ready To Have Kids
If a woman is in a relationship where her man always says he’s not ready to have kids, then she needs to take his words seriously. Saying it himself is evidence enough that he’s obviously not ready, and even if he does not have a good explanation why he feels as if he's not ready, it's best to take him at his word.
He might be feeling this way because he's really not ready, or just because he’s anxious about being a dad. Pressuring him to change his views or to get over his fears might not be the best course of action in this case. A woman might need to engage the assistance of a professional counselor because there could be serious underlying issues that the man needs to deal with before becoming a father.
2 He’s Comfortable With His Relationship As It Is
In some instances, some men don't want to become dads because they love their relationship with their women as they are, and probably adding children might complicate issues. Some of these men might feel as if a baby will take their woman's attention from them, which might very well be the case, and therefore hold back on the whole topic.
This is a legitimate concern because, more often than not, the arrival of a baby is a sure indication that a couple's relationship will change. Of course, a couple can decide to embrace the change and use it to their advantage because children can also make a couple to draw closer to each other and love each other even more.
1 He Doesn’t Feel like He'd Make a Great Dad
Unlike men, women learn so much about taking care of children from their moms and older friends that many of them hardly ever think that they'd make a bad mom. Men, on the other hand, hardly ever have people around them to guide them on what is expected of them as a dad, and this might cause them to feel as if they're inadequate.
The best thing about this situation is that a man can always learn what he is expected to do when his baby arrives. With a lot of assistance from his woman and other family members, a man should be comfortable to change his mind and take up his role.