We live in a world where we have to be very careful what we say. We all make mistakes and misspeak, but with the presence of social media, the pressure to be careful has gotten much worse. Of course, no one wants to offend anyone, and many do not do it on purpose.
This applies to pregnant women as well. Not many people get so much unwanted advice and opinions as does a pregnant woman. Everyone who has had kids, babysat kids or thought about having kids wants to voice their opinion on how she looks, what she does and even how her baby is born. This is not okay.
As women near the end of their pregnancy, they are dealing with a lot. They are uncomfortable, they are nervous, and they can not sleep for the life of them. The last thing they need is comments that are very rude. Even comments meant to be supportive can come across as passively aggressively rude. We want to highlight 20 rude things people should never say to a pregnant woman who is about to go into labour. Good luck to any pregnant moms about to go to Thanksgiving dinner with the whole family, because they will for sure be saying some of these lines.
20 “How Many?”
This is nothing new for women who are expecting, and some people don’t even wait until a woman is further along to ask. The dreaded question of how many babies are in there. When people say this, they are usually not genuinely curious, they are making a remark as to how big your belly is. This is never OK.
A comment about how a woman looks during pregnancy is rarely going to be received well so it is better to not mention it. Every woman carries every pregnancy different and we are pretty sure if a woman had more than one in there she would know.
19 “You’re Ready To Pop”
This saying is one that you will see a lot when attending baby showers and events like that. It is a great and cute theme for events such as those, which may have led people to be confused on whether they can actually say this to a pregnant woman. The verdict is that it is better to leave these sayings to the baby shower and never say them to a woman during a normal conversation.
A lot of women can get self-conscious about their bodies when they are pregnant, and it doesn’t help when other people begin making comments about how they look.
18 “You’ve Been Pregnant Forever”
Pregnancy may only be 9-months on paper, but it feels like a lot longer than that when you are actually the one who is pregnant. Sometimes, women run into someone they don’t see very often, and the other person mentions that she has been pregnant for what feels like forever. Don’t be that person. Chances are a woman knows just how long she has been pregnant.
We must also remember that women who are pregnant are also dealing with pregnancy hormones, and you don’t want to be on the receiving end of a complete meltdown. It sometimes really is best to not say anything at all, it is better to be safe than sorry.
17 “How Are You Sleeping”
You will soon see that there is very little you can actually say to a pregnant woman that won’t offend her, so sometimes it really is best to just let her lead the conversation. Please do not ask a pregnant woman how she is sleeping, or assume she is sleeping fine/badly. Chances are, if a woman is near the end of her pregnancy she is not sleeping well. She knows it.
We never want to risk reminding a woman of how uncomfortable she is when we can avoid it. It is better to just let her enjoy her day when she can. It may not seem like you are being rude, and you probably are not trying to be rude, but you would never ask anyone else if they were sleeping well if they are not pregnant.
16 “Wait Until What Comes Next”
No one will have more advice and opinions to give you than someone who has already given birth and has children of their own. They will be waiting on the edges to offer some of their advice and what they have learned. If you are one of those women who are just waiting until the next pregnant woman comes along to spill it, maybe try working out instead.
Even if this is the first baby, most women know what they are in for when it comes to having children. They know how hard a newborn is and while they may not completely understand they know it is difficult and there is no reason to scare them even more.
15 “What Is On Your Birth Plan”
While we are on the topic of sharing advice when it is no wanted, another area that needs to be completely avoided when talking to a woman about to go into labour is childbirth. There is no need to ask them what is on their birth plan and if they plan on having an epidural because that is frankly, none of your business.
While we here, we should mention that now is also not the time to tell them about your birth story, especially if you had a difficult labour. She has probably already read everything that could possibly go wrong, and she is a ball of nerves as it is.
14 “Don’t Eat That”
Let’s face it, a woman has just followed every rule given to her for the last 9-months. She has stayed away from alcohol; soft cheeses and her steaks have always been cooked well done. When she is near the end she deserves a little bit of leeway. Now is not the time to start telling her what she can and can not eat. That is a good way to get hit.
Don’t tell her she can’t eat a certain food because it will put her into labour. On a side note, all of those labour-inducing foods are not really proven anyways. Let her eat the spicy food and the pineapple, she deserves it.
13 “I Think You Missed A Spot”
Pregnancy can happen at anytime of the year and there are certain pros and cons that come with each season. A pregnancy in the winter means trying to get swollen feet into boots and fitting a warm winter jacket over the belly. Summer would seem to be preferable, but it can get pretty hot and uncomfortable then too.
The other problem in summer is a woman being able to shave her legs. This is pretty difficult when you have a big pregnant belly in the way. A woman still wants to shave but it can take a lot of effort and she may let it go for a bit, do NOT point it out, that is very rude.
You would think we wouldn’t even need to mention this one, but we do. It is never OK to make farm sounds at a pregnant woman, actually it is never OK to do this to any woman but especially hormonal pregnant woman. When a woman chooses to dress up as a cow for Halloween it is OK, but it does not give you a free pass to ‘moo’ at her.
If you are sitting there thinking that no one would ever be this rude and hurtful, you are wrong. There are mean people in this world and this specific example came from an article where women expressed the rudest things ever said to them when they were pregnant.
11 “Can You See Your Feet?”
You will notice that most of these entries are around a woman’s body when she is pregnant and for good reason. A lot of people like to comment on a woman’s body, especially when she is pregnant. Chances are if a woman is near her due date she knows exactly how big and uncomfortable she is, and she doesn’t need anyone pointing it out to her.
Another thing you want to avoid saying to someone expecting is asking her if she can see her feet. Chances are she can’t, so you don’t really need to ask her. Making any kind of comment in regard to how big a woman has gotten will always be rude and put you in a tough spot.
10 “You've gotten bigger”
It is an age-old lesson that we don’t really seem to be learning. That is to never mention anything to do with weight to a woman, and not even a pregnant woman, any woman. It will always come off as rude and something that is not your place to say. Some may say this to a pregnant woman when they don’t know they are pregnant, and just seeing.
Others say it as some sort of weird joke that no one really understands. They may be trying to make someone laugh but they may end up getting assaulted instead. It should just be common knowledge by now that all weight comments are off limits.
9 “Another Baby, Really?”
Here is another topic that a lot of people like to comment on and that is the size of a woman’s family. If they do not have kids they will constantly ask them when they are going to have children, as if it is a mandatory route of life. If they have children and are pregnant again, the comments about “another baby” will sure follow.
This is rude because it is frankly none of anyone’s business how many children a person decides to have and how close they have them together. It is always better to stay out of other people’s business when it comes to family planning.
8 “That Must Be A Big Baby!”
Not only do people like to comment on your body when you are pregnant, but they also love to comment about your baby before it is even born. If mom is about ready to pop, she probably has a large belly, and some like to assume that it must be a big baby in there. This is pretty rude because belly shape can have very little to do with the size of the baby.
It is not just the baby in there, there is the placenta and fluid, and if mom has had a size scan she may now how big (or small) her baby is so you are going to make her self confident about the size of her stomach.
7 “You Don’t Look Very Good”
This is the face you are bound to be met with if you ever say this to a pregnant woman. This would never be OK to say to someone who is not pregnant unless (maybe) they tell you first that they don’t feel too good. We all know you are supposed to say nice things to pregnant women, things like ‘you’re glowing’ or ‘you look so good.’ However, some people don’t like to lie.
They would rather be brutally honest, even if that means they are being rude and hurting someone’s feelings. This comment is bound to hurt a woman’s feelings and if you have nothing nice to say just say nothing.
6 “I’m Finally smaller Than You!”
It must be a biological thing that we love to compete with each other. Humans love it and women do especially. If you are friends with someone who is expecting, and they reach that stage where they have a big belly and you finally feel like the ‘skinny friend’ just keep it to yourself. Chances are she is going through a lot of struggles with her appearance and this is one way to end a friendship.
Not all women enjoy being pregnant. They don’t see it as a miracle and something beautiful. They can really struggle with their body image and these comments do not help.
5 “Where Do You Find Clothes?”
It is not easy to dress yourself when you are pregnant. It can be a struggle to find clothes that fit and that are comfortable. Maternity fashions are great, and they have come a long way, but they can be expensive, and a lot of women don’t want to spend a lot of money on clothes that they won’t wear forever.
Don’t ask a woman where she finds clothes that fit because this is another way of commenting on how big she has gotten. Chances are she has raided her husbands closet or is wearing sweat pants that have a drawstring.
4 “You’re Glowing!” – Some Are Sneaky!
I know what you are all thinking, that this is a good one and why the heck this would be considered rude. The truth is, we all know what this one really means. We have been told to always tell a pregnant woman that she is absolutely glowing, when really, she is hot and sweaty from carrying around a baby all day. Pregnant women know this, and they know what you really mean when you say they are glowing.
When it comes to appearances, you can’t lie to a pregnant woman, or any woman really. They know when they don’t look their best, so they know when you are lying to them. It is best to just not say anything at all.
3 “I Bet You wet Yourself A Lot”
You would really think we wouldn’t have to say that any mention or discussion of bodily fluids should be avoided at all costs, but we do. Never assume what is going on with a pregnant woman and better yet never mention it to them. It is normal for a woman who is about to pop to have some continence issues, but when did it ever become OK to talk about it.
This is a hard thing for a lot of women to come to terms with, and she will probably deal with it on some level for the rest of her life. She does not want to talk to you about it or have you question her about it. She would much rather just pretend it doesn’t exist.
2 “Nice Cankles”
Again, this one is just obviously rude, so it hardly needs its own section. When women are pregnant, and especially at the end of their pregnancy they can start to retain a lot of water. Especially if they are pregnant in the summer or they are on their feet a lot. They gain this fluid and then gravity does its thing and it all ends up in their feet and ankles.
Never, and I mean NEVER, compliment them on their nice cankles. It will never go over well for you, as you are very likely to be assaulted by a tired and hormonal pregnant woman.
1 “It’ll Be Over Soon” – Another Sneaky One!
Here is another one that is meant with the best intentions, but it should be avoided at all costs. When you see a woman, who is about to pop, never remind her that it is almost over. It is said with the intention of letting her know that her days of being uncomfortable are almost over, but it has the opposite effect.
When a woman is close to her due date (or past it) she knows she is almost done. However, what comes next is something even scarier. She is about to face childbirth and becoming a new mom to a tiny little baby. These are very scary things and she has spent a lot of time pretending they aren’t coming, so don’t remind her.