Nowadays, it’s becoming more and more acceptable for a couple to have a baby together before getting married, or simply have their wedding after they have already found out that they will be adding a new little member to the family in the coming months.
It’s no longer a big deal—as a society, some of the ideas around marriage, parenting, and relationships are changing. After all, if a couple has already been together for several years, lives together, and wanted to start a family anyway, is it really such a big deal if they end up starting a family before they technically tie the know? Today, many people do not seem to think so, and the most important thing is whether or not both people can be good parents to their child.
Now, from a woman’s perspective, this also puts the question first and foremost in her mind: is this the right man for her? After all, nothing will show you a man’s true character like parenthood! Seriously, everything a woman has ever wondered about her man’s character will come to light once the baby is born. Here are 20 signs that the baby daddy is actually marriage material.
20 He Always Puts The Baby First
This is one of the key questions a woman needs to ask before marrying a man that she has a child with (or has a child on the way with): does he put the baby first? According to Your Tango, the first few months of parenthood will ultimately reveal whether or not a man is up for the task of being both a husband and a father. And once the child has arrived into the world, his job is to not only shower you with love and appreciation, but to do the same for your new little bundle of joy.
19 He Was 100% Supportive Throughout Your Pregnancy
While it’s definitely true that parenthood is pretty much the ultimate test of a man’s personality and dedication, the way a man acts when his girlfriend is pregnant is also a major test! According to Elle, women say that if a man does not respect everything a woman is going through in order to bring a child into this world, he is not the right man for her. Seriously, creating a tiny human is hard work, and the physical burden is all on the mother. Therefore, it’s important for women to pay close attention to a man’s behavior during pregnancy.
18 He Always Talks About Your Future Together
Here’s another important question to ask for a woman who is considering marrying the father of her child: is the idea of marriage even on his mind? Or is he not even thinking about it? According to Cosmopolitan, women are more likely than men to want to get married in the first place. Before a woman gets her heart set on marriage, she needs to have a series of conversations with her man to make sure that he is on the same page! Don’t start planning that wedding just yet unless he says that he definitely wants the same future.
17 He Never Acts Like Taking Care Of The Baby Is A "Chore"
Unfortunately, this is a more widespread problem than many women would like to think. According to Marie Claire, lots of women feel that after giving birth, the fathers of their children think they can simply take on the role of “babysitter” rather than dad. They may not step up to the plate to really take care of the baby—instead, they will act like they are doing the mother a favor when they watch the kid for a night or two. If a man is acting this way, he is simply not marriage material—he needs to be a dedicated father.
16 He Fully Embraces The Role Of Fatherhood
While it’s true that some men don’t really lean in to the role of fatherhood, there are others who just love being dads. According to Your Tango, women should marry men who don’t just begrudgingly accept the role of fatherhood—they truly embrace it and learn to love being a father. A man who seems to be thinking that fatherhood isn’t for him after the baby has already been born is not going to suddenly change his mind about it a few years down the road. A woman should be with a man who genuinely loves being a caring father.
15 He's Good With His Money
Obviously, there are many emotional factors that play into a couple’s decision of whether or not to get married. However, there are some other things that they need to consider, too. According to Cosmopolitan, many women have married guys who aren’t great with money, and they come to regret it later on! Now, this does not mean that he has to make a lot of money—if a man only brings in a small salary but understands how to budget and invest a bit, that’s totally fine! Be careful about being with a man who spends like there’s no tomorrow.
14 He Works Hard Outside The Home
Now, there is certainly no rule that a man has to be sole the breadwinner for the household anymore! However, according to Marie Claire, no matter who is really bringing home the bacon, a woman shouldn’t marry a man who doesn’t have a strong work ethic—especially if he can never seem to keep a job for very long! Look, the truth is that raising a healthy, happy child costs a lot of money, and both the man and woman should be prepared to contribute in some way. A man with a bad work ethic may not make a great husband.
13 Your Family Just Adores Him
Sure, everyone jokes about their crazy in-laws, but when a husband or wife has to deal with in-laws who don’t approve of them in real life, suddenly it’s not so funny anymore! According to GQ, couples should definitely take their family’s opinions into consideration before tying the knot. Does that mean the families get to totally decide? No way! But if your parents and siblings have never liked your man, there could be a good reason—they may be genuinely worried about your relationship. And if they just adore the baby daddy? Well, that’s a much better sign!
12 You Know He Sees You As His Equal
Yes, it’s 2018, and yes, the vast majority of us do see men and women as equals—but women should know that sadly, there are still some guys out there who don’t really view things that way. According to Allure, some women say that once they move in with a guy or have a child with him, suddenly it seems like he expects her to fill a more traditional role instead of being her own person. If a woman notices that her man is acting like this, it’s really never a good sign—in fact, it’s a warning sign to reconsider.
11 Family Is His Top Priority
When a couple has a baby, their priorities have to change. According to Glamour, there is a period of time after having a child when a couple basically has to put everything else on the back burner—that usually means taking time off work, letting go of the expectation to be social and go out on the weekends, and staying home and not traveling anywhere for a while, except to see family. If a man can reorganize his priorities and put family first, that’s the kind of guy a woman should want to be with. He knows what’s truly important.
10 He Does His Fair Share Of Housework
This is so important! According to Refinery 29, some studies show that even when a man and woman both work full time after having a child, the woman still ends up doing more housework when she gets home from her job. But the good news is that there are plenty of guys out there that don’t fall into this mindset—they understand that running a happy household takes two people who both contribute equally. Don’t settle for a man who needs to be asked to do his laundry or wash the dishes—women can definitely do better than that.
9 He Supports Your Goals Outside Of Motherhood
The way a man acts after the baby is born can tell a woman pretty much everything she could ever want to know about his true personality. According to Women’s Health, some men expect that women will give up their other hobbies and interests after having a child and simply settle into the sole identity of “mother” instead—but the truth is that mothers need to have their own lives and identities outside of motherhood, no matter how much they love being mothers! A good father will respect that the mother of his child has her own independent side, too.
8 You Know You Can Trust Him With Anything
Trust issues are a big problem for many couples, but many of them are able to work things out in the early stages of their relationship. According to Elle, continuing to have trust issues after the baby is born can indicate some serious problems down the road. Trust us, this definitely needs to be discussed before the topic of having a child or getting married ever comes up. A woman who still feels like she can’t trust her man after she has already had a baby with him could have some regrets. But a man you can trust is a good father.
7 He's A Great Role Model For Your Baby
When a woman has a child with a man, both people need to ask themselves whether or not they can really set a good example for the kid. According to GQ, this is one of the most important things that a man can do for his child. You want to marry a man who your child can look up to—the kind of man who makes a kid say, “Daddy, you’re my hero!” There are some men out there who don’t quite have what it takes—but there are plenty who do, and those are the men who are worth marrying.
6 He Will Always Listen To You Vent
Let’s just face it—while many women say that motherhood is the best thing to ever happen to them, there’s no doubt that it can also be the most challenging thing they’ve ever done. Look, at the end of the day, every mother needs to be with a man who can listen to her vent when she’s woken up five times overnight. According to Refinery 29, this type of emotional support is just as important as any other kind of support—a man needs to be your shoulder to cry on sometimes, especially when you are raising a child together.
5 Nothing Makes You Happier Than Your Little Family Together
Many people with kids say that family is the most important thing in their lives—and once kids are in the picture, this is how it should be! When a man and woman have a child together, it’s only natural that they feel happiest when their little family is together. According to Women’s Health, this is basically just the logical conclusions of a couple having their priorities in order: once a child has been born, “family first” needs to be the motto for their sake! If a guy is putting other things above the child and family, that’s a red flag.
4 He's Become A Better Man Since Becoming A Father
Parenthood changes people—there is simply no avoiding that. And according to Marie Claire, couples who are the happiest together after having children agree that the best kind of parents are the ones who actively want to change for the better, especially after the baby has arrived. The father should want to become a better man so that he can set a great example for his kid as they grow up. If it doesn’t seem like a man is truly invested in changing for the better, it might be a sign that he is not up to the task of fatherhood.
3 He Would Do Anything For Your Baby
Once again, it all comes down to that very important motto: “family first.” According to Your Tango, a man who puts family first will pretty much do anything for his kid. The truth is that any good parent knows that once the child has arrived, putting them first is pretty much just part of the job description, and for the first few years, your own interests kind of have to take a backseat for a while. When a woman knows that she can trust a man to always put their child first, it’s a sign that he will be a good husband.
2 Nothing Is Better Than A Night In With Him
There are so many things that parents have to give up during the baby’s first few months of life—from quality sleep to nights out with friends, it can feel like nothing but one sacrifice after another for a while. But according to Huffington Post, women who say that nothing makes them happier than a quiet night in with their baby and the man they’re with seem to be the happiest mothers overall. When you can truly just appreciate the little things, like staying in and cuddling up with a good movie, everything else seems to matter so much less.
1 He's There For Every Good And Bad Moment
According to Allure, one of the major mistakes that parents-to-be make is fixating too much on the Kodak moments that they assume parenthood will bring. They think that parenthood will be all sunshine and rainbows, and they just aren’t prepared for all of the challenges! A woman needs to marry a man who is honestly prepared for those challenges, and who doesn’t just want to be a parent because of the Kodak moments. And once the baby is born, it is pretty easy to tell which men truly understand the difficult aspects of parenthood and still stick around.