The medical profession is a tough profession. There is a lot of education and experience that goes into the field, and, on top of that, dealing with human beings is not always easy. To be a little more specific, dealing with an expecting mama who is about to deliver a baby or a mom who is impatiently recovering from delivery is not always easy.
On the other side of things, sometimes that relationship between the labor and delivery nurse or doctor and their patient isn't present — or genuine. Like all human beings, doctors and nurses have lives outside of their job. The thing is, when it comes to the field they are in, it is crucial to be 100% focused and personable the entire time. Though that can be tough, it is very important — especially when in the labor and delivery field.
When an expecting mom is in labor or she is recovering after delivery, it is important she feels as comfortable and safe as possible. When her specialists are not providing her with the warm, cozy, and safe environment she and her little one need, additional stress can happen.
And no one wants a stressed mama — or a stressed nurse. That's for sure.
20 “The Nurse Kept Telling Me I Wasn’t Contracting”
"The nurse kept telling me I wasn’t contracting on the monitor," explains mom of one Erin Dhaveloose. "I was contracted every three-to-five minutes."
A mother knows her body and even if she has never experienced labor before, she often knows what contractions are when they are full-force. Erin knew she was having contractions and obviously was keeping track of them. For some reason, the nurse thought otherwise. Stick to your gut when you have a feeling your body is making some very important changes. Speak up, ask for another opinion, and do all you can to be heard.
Especially when you feel as if you aren't.
19 The Doctor Fell Asleep
Even though doctors and nurses are human, a pregnant mama who is under a lot of pressure wants her specialists to be wide awake and alert. They are about to be involved in some very intense, intricate work. When a professional is not as prepared as a mom may have expected, that mom may become distressed at a time when stress should not be at the forefront.
"I was having constant, heavy contractions but not dilating, like, all night," says Becca Benham, mom of three. "The doctor came in in the morning and said, 'Sorry, I fell asleep. If it were up to me, you would have had this baby last night.'"
Badly timed jokes are not the way to welcome an obviously frustrated patient.
18 “The Nurses Could Not Wait A Minute Longer”
"I was in the middle of pushing my child out when shift change happened. Like the nurses could not wait for a ... minute longer," Mom of two Megan Theresa explains. "Seven new nurses all came into the room opening and slamming cupboards while I was trying to focus on pushing a baby out."
When a medical professional is not focused on the task at hand, it can be very irritating — especially when the task is the birth of a child. When a shift change happens in the middle of a very important moment and even more chaos begins occurring, it can definitely be an issue.
17 “No One Checked On Me For Over An Hour”
"After my first child was born, all of the staff left me pretty quickly and no one checked on me for over an hour. When the nurse finally came back, I told her I wasn't feeling well and she said I just need to use the bathroom," says Cari Roraback, mom of two. "She helped me sit up and I told her something is wrong. She said I was fine and helped me stand up. I took a few steps and collapsed and passed out. After that whole [thing], she was trying to untangle the cords around me and was yanking on the port in my hand really hard and it hurt. I told her it hurt and she ignored me so I had to hold my port with the other hand so she couldn't pull it. She walked out of the room and I never saw her again and no one else came in until I got tired of waiting and called for someone."
16 Surgery Started Without The Significant Other
When I found out I would be having a c-section due to one of my twins being breech, I made it very clear I wanted my boyfriend to be in the room with me at all times. I was not very excited about having surgery, and I needed his emotional support during the experience.
So when the doctors told me surgery had started and he was not yet in the room, I was livid.
About ten minutes into the c-section, my boyfriend finally arrived in the operating room. Luckily, he made it in time to watch most of the surgery, see both girls be delivered, and hear their little cries. Him being there was important, and I was so thankful he made it — even though it was last minute.
15 “Her Facial Expression Was Like She Was Watching A [Frightening] Movie”
Childbirth and delivery is not a, well, attractive time for a woman. She is either pushing a human being out of a very private area or being operated on in surgery. An expecting woman may be a little insecure about the appearance of her body and her bodily functions during this time — and it is understandable she would be. If a medical professional is obviously not being professional with their expressions during this experience, it can be embarrassing to the mother.
"I had an intern who was experiencing her first labor and delivery. She was at the bottom of my feet, and every time I pushed, her facial expression was like she was watching a [frightening] movie," says Becca Benham. "I wanted to kick her, and I’m pretty sure she will experience her occupation elsewhere."
14 They Did Not Lift The Babies Up For Mom To See
A new mom always looks forward to seeing her little ones the second they officially arrive in the world. Of course, due to medical issues, sometimes this is not able to happen. However, I was lucky to have a successful c-section for my twin girls and their weights were very healthy for delivery at 37 weeks. The moment I heard them cry, I expected to see their faces lifted over the sheet separating us.
However, this did not happen.
I asked over and over again to see their faces, and they did not bring them to me until long after the surgery had ended. My boyfriend was allowed to go back and see the girls as they were cleaned and neatly getting bundled up. Even after I continuously asked to just see their faces, I did not get this request granted until long after I had hoped.
13 “They Just Kept Pushing Some Meds Into Me”
"After I had my daughter, they wouldn't let me hold my daughter or breastfeed her, and nobody would tell me why," explains mom of two Cherie Bealer. "They just kept pushing some meds into me and wouldn't even talk to me until finally, a nurse saw me crying and answered me when I asked what are they doing to me (it took an hour for them to stitch me)."
Thank goodness for those nurses out there who genuinely care for their patients. Of course, there are many nurses who do care about their job. However, when others will not listen to their patient or at least respond to them, it definitely doesn't make the experience an enjoyable one.
12 Becoming A “Human Puppet”
No mother wants to deal with a medical issue after the delivery of her baby. She wants to do her best to recover and fully focus on the new addition to her family. So when a medical concern does arise, and doctors do not inform the mother of the issue right away, of course, she is going to be upset.
Not only upset — angry.
"I heavily bled for 14 hours after delivery and became a 'human puppet,' as I like to call it (when they remove clots by hand in your bed)," explains Cari Roraback of her traumatic experience. "I also ended up in the OR twice."
11 "They Got Me In The Push Position"
"One of the residency doctors came in and told me I was fully dilated. They got me in the push position, and then my doctor came in checked me out. He told me I was still 3 cm from pushing... this was hour 25 of labor," explains Meghan Moran, mom of one. "Then I drove them nuts by trying to take out all the tubes and wires connected to me to get up and leave because I was so upset! Five hours later, I had Mason."
When a very pregnant mama is told to start pushing, she gets ready. When she is told the exact opposite of what she was just planning to do, frustration doesn't even begin to explain it.
10 “She Disregarded My Birth Plan”
"My nurse was so rude anytime I asked a question as if I should know everything about labor and the machinery attached to me," explains Megan Guevara, mom of one. "She also completely disregarded my birth plan I had typed out and brought to them. She never gave it to anyone else, so no one knew any of it."
Many moms have very specific thoughts and hopes when it comes to how their delivery is to go. Of course, no delivery goes exactly as planned, but it is always important to respect the wishes of the mama as best you can. When that respect does not happen, it makes sense for a person to get irritated.
9 The Nurse Told The Family Too Much
Keeping the gender of a baby a secret can often be tougher for family and friends than for the mom. When a family decides how they want to break the exciting news to their loved ones, they want to make sure that plan goes as expected.
They do not want someone to get in the way and interrupt a very important moment.
"I never found out what the [gender] of the baby was and, with my last baby, the plan was to have my older two tell everyone. The way my room was set up, we could see the waiting room from my room," says Becca Benham. "One of the nurses, through the window, told my whole family it was a boy. She even asked me if she could see the baby MINUTES after he was born to hold up to show them. I, of course, said no — but I was livid!"
8 All She Cared About Was Leaving In Ten Minutes
The day of my c-section, saying I was incredibly anxious would be an understatement. As I was getting prepped for surgery, the nurse continued to sigh and look at the clock. After a few minutes of her quietly sanitizing and cleaning me up, she said she would be leaving soon.
She then continued to say the exact same thing several more times.
For someone who is naturally anxious, throwing a negative person into the mix right before major surgery is not smart. She continued to make subtle comments showing her annoyance with being there, and her sighs and phone-checks did not help the anxiety from growing.
7 “She Was 100% Sure My Water Didn’t Break”
"I was one day past my due date, a Saturday morning. They sent [me] to the hospital for a non-stress test and an ultrasound because I was a repeat c-section. That Saturday morning, I 'peed' myself. During my ultrasound, I was so uncomfortable and had wicked back pain. Once they took me upstairs, for my NST, I was telling the nurse about leaking. She was 100% sure that my water didn't break because I would have been gushing fluid, cramming towels between my legs, etc.," explains mom of two Nichole Bailey. "I asked for a swab to test the fluid; her response was, 'Well, that will keep you here an extra fifteen minutes.' I never experienced any labor pains/water breaking, or anything, literally, with my first, but I knew something was happening. Turns out I was contracting and my water did break. I had a c-section about two hours later."
6 Not Respecting The Choice To Stop Lactation Counselor Visits
Going into my twin pregnancy, I knew breastfeeding was not going to be something I stressed about. I had never been someone who believed strongly about needing to breastfeed and with two being in the picture, I was not going to let it stress me out. I had been told by many people that lactation counselors would visit during recovery, and when they started trickling in, I would say, "I will try to breastfeed, but I am okay pumping and supplementing."
I should have worn a shirt that said that sentence on it. The number of times I repeated myself was astounding. I understood the benefits of breastfeeding and appreciated the support those specialists would offer, but I continuously repeated myself and then later repeated that I no longer wanted visits.
They did not respect my wishes.
5 “I Had To Stop And Wait”
"Mid-pushing, they told me the doctor couldn't be there right now because another woman was delivering a baby so I had to stop and wait," says Megan Guevara. When a mama is in the middle of pushing out a baby and they are then told to wait, do you think that mama will happily take a quick break?
Most likely not.
Birth/ delivery is not always the most stress-free time. Only a rare few moms have perfect deliveries. The rest of us, however, experience more than enough bumps in the road. Being told to stop pushing when you are in the middle of pushing is definitely one of them.
4 “They Wouldn’t Let Me Breathe”
If you are someone who has a plan prepared for your delivery experience, you probably want to follow it as smoothly as possible. It is normal for plans to not always go exactly as hoped, However, they can usually be followed pretty darn closely. When a mama is unable to follow her plans the way she had wished to, this can not only create frustration, but also unnecessary stress for both mom and the baby.
"They wouldn't let me breathe. I was trying to do the Lamaze breathing and they were screaming at me saying I don't have time to breathe and if I didn't push this baby out right then, I was having a c-section," explains Cherie Bealer. "So, I ended up throwing up all over myself because I wasn't even allowed to take a deep breath to even push. That definitely made me happy to not have a birthing photographer there for that."
3 Being Told To Pay For An Interpreter
For those who are deaf or hard-of-hearing, an interpreter is often needed for many of life's big moments — such as childbirth. Being able to fully understand what is going on in mom's body and in her little one's body is crucial to creating a somewhat stress-free atmosphere for the family. It is also respectful of the hospital and medical staff to provide the family with all the necessary support they need to create this atmosphere for them.
When this doesn't happen, there is a reason to be angry.
"One nurse tried telling me that I had to pay for an interpreter on an iPad. They didn’t have an actual person. I lost it," says mom of two, Renee Saraceni. "Long story short, she didn’t come back, and another nurse did, with the lovely list of interpreters."
2 “It's Not A Big Deal”
"When Eliza’s heart rate kept dropping, instead of telling me what was going on, they were just flipping me from side to side, screaming for more nurses and trying to break my water," states mom of one, Melani Swartz. "Then after they got her heart rate back up and I was sobbing uncontrollably, they told me, 'It’s not a big deal," and if it was a real emergency that I would’ve known it was. It sure seemed like an emergency to me, especially considering I was rushed to an emergency c-section about a half hour later."
For an expecting mom, delivery is a big deal no matter what. When a professional tells an obviously irritated mama that her situation "is not a big deal" when, really, it seems like it is, that mom may become a tad more irritated.
1 “She Was Checking Her Phone”
Oh, technology. If it weren't for it, many babies wouldn't be delivered as smoothly as they are in this day and age. If we didn't have it, we would all be lost — especially during delivery, it seems. When a medical professional is supposed to be fully focused on the patient and situation at hand and is, instead, focused on their cell phone, the mama has a right to get beyond angry.
"While pushing, he [my husband] had one leg and the nurse had the other. I'm actively pushing, and she let go of my leg and was checking her phone! I was trying to ask her to grab my leg again, but I could barely get the words out because of the pain of a head sticking out of me," Cari Roraback says. "My husband knew what I was getting at, and when I looked at him desperately to help, he snapped at her, 'Could you take her leg?' And she huffed and grabbed my leg and said, 'Please?'"
Sources: Momhood Mayhem, the.write.mama