When a kid starts going to school, it's an exciting and stressful time for both them and their mom. While there are amazing parts of the school experience, from getting an education to making friends to having fun at recess and in the cafeteria, there are some tough moments, too. Moms know that their kids will have to face some difficult times during their school journey. There will be mean students and cliques and birthday parties where not everyone is invited, not to mention homework that piles up and subjects that kids struggle with.
Moms will do everything that they can to protect their children and help them through life. That includes helping them with school. Most of the time, moms tend to be cool with the rules that their child's school imposes. But there are times when moms don't agree with what is going on and want to step in. (Okay, it's more that moms feel that they absolutely have to step in. It's that maternal instinct kicking in.)
Unfortunately, rules are rules for a reason, and there are many ways that moms can't affect how their child is faring in the classroom. Here are 20 things that mom is not actually allowed to stop the school from doing.
20 Sending A Kid Home If They Go To A Private School And Their Uniform Isn't Correct
According to the school rules at Westlake Boys High School in New Zealand, every student needs to have a uniform that is totally correct. As the website states, the uniform "should be worn tidily and correctly both at school and between home and school. The full school uniform must be worn at all times. Shirts are to be tucked in; socks are to be pulled up; heel straps in place."
If kids go to a private school and wear a uniform in an incorrect way, schools are able to deal with that however they want. Some schools might send the student home or at least give them an infraction and tell their mom that they have to fix the uniform problem quickly. Moms can't stop this from happening because these are the rules.
19 Imposing Rules On Kids About Hair Length And Style
Hair can be a great way to express ourselves. Maybe we had a friend back in high school who dyed her hair red and got in trouble, and we realized that it wasn't allowed at our school. It turns out that schools can also impose rules about hair length and style and this is another area where moms have no say whatsoever.
As the website for the Westlake School For Boys explains, "A student’s hair must be kept clean and tidy at all times. The length of the hair should not be shorter than a “number 2” razor cut." The rules continue for hairstyles: "The style of the hair should not be extreme including but not limited to mohawk, afro, shaved styles and/or patterns, hair tied up and braided. The colour must be the student’s own natural colour; no dye nor highlights are allowed."
18 Dealing With Problems As They Come Up The Way That The School Wants To
According to Parents.com, there are various ways that schools deal with problems that come up throughout the school year. The school could be "assertive" and have a "hierarchy" of the behavioral rules that kids have to follow. For example, there could be a "three strikes" system.
This is another area that moms have no control over. If a student is told that they're one more strike away from being suspended, for example, a mom can't talk to the principal or teacher and try to get them out of it. These are the rules and there's nothing that can be done.
17 Teachers Can't Change Grades Or Grade One Kid's Tests Or Essays Differently
The most common way that a mom would want to intervene with the school would be asking for her child's grades to be changed. We all know the sting of a bad grade, and we remember how tough it can be to struggle in a certain subject.
As a teacher shared with People, sometimes parents make requests that schools can't honor. They said, "This girl didn’t study and skipped most of the questions on a test. Mom came in to argue about her daughter’s failing grade and said she should only be graded on the questions she did answer, so, therefore, should have scored a 100 since the few she chose to answer were correct.”
That may seem like an intense example, but that stuff does happen. Moms can remember that every student has to be graded the same, and grades can't be changed, either.
16 Telling Kids Not To Eat During Classes
According to The Top Tens, it's a general rule at many schools that kids can't eat in the classrooms.
Moms might want to talk to their kid's teacher about this and get the rule changed. After all, kids get hungry and they definitely love to snack. Moms might try to get the teacher to make an exception and say that their child can bring in fruit and crackers in case their stomach rumbles during a lesson.
Moms can't stop schools from having rules about where to eat, though. Teachers find that eating during class is distracting, and they'll tell moms that students can eat at recess and lunch.
15 Protecting The Privacy Of Your Kid's Classmates
Moms might try to ask their child's teacher or principal about another student. This could be because they're being mean to their child or there has been an issue.
Schools keep information about students private, though, so moms can't stop schools from doing that, either.
According to Parents.com, "The Federal Educational Rights and Privacy Act state
that parents must have access to all written records about their children and that no school can share information about any student without parental consent. This may mean that even if another child harms your own, the school can't discuss that other child with you."
14 Teachers Can Definitely Take Cell Phones If Students Use Them During Class
Teachers these days have to deal with students being on their phones all the time, and it's definitely a new problem that didn't exist when many of us were students.
Moms can't stop schools from taking their kid's cell phones if they're using them during class.
As the website for Longhill High School in the U.K. explains, "Mobile phones and other electronic equipment may only be used before school, at break and lunch times and only in the specifically designated 'Phone Zones' (field, patio, canteen). Any items seen inside the buildings will be confiscated and kept securely."
Even if a mom asked the teacher why they couldn't make an exception this time, the teacher would have to say that it's just the school rules.
13 Teachers Can Say That School Rules Aren't The Same As The Rules At Home
The toughest thing about sending kids to school is definitely giving up some control. Moms do their best to come up with routines and rules at home that make sense, from bedtime to morning and evening routines to snacks and meals. And then their child goes to school and it's all about what the school thinks is best.
Schools can tell moms that the rules at school aren't the same ones at home, and moms can't do anything about that or change a teacher or principal's mind. As a principal wrote for Parents.com, "That is your rule at home, but the rules at school are different."
12 Insisting That Parents Follow Rules (And Even Getting The Authorities Involved)
As a teacher shared with Today's Parent, sometimes parents don't take note of the rules at school and the authorities need to get involved.
This teacher said that a parent was in a no-parking zone but wouldn't leave. The teacher said, “She insisted she had the right to stop there and went ballistic, calling the teacher on duty every name in the book in front of students and parents. We had to get the police involved to make it clear that parents need to follow the rules.”
This is definitely an important point: while it's important for students to be aware of the rules, their parents have to be as well.
11 Telling Kids To Say Please and Thank You And Be Quiet In Class
According to Independent.co.uk, some moms have gotten upset about the school rules in Britain. The publication explained, "As Barry Smith has found out, in modern Britain, self-expression rules – and the idea of enforcing please and thank you, not speaking unless spoken to in lessons, and walking between classes in silence facing the front, not pushing and shoving – has caused [a stir]."
If schools want to impose rules about manners and being quiet during class, moms might not love that, but they can't do anything about it. Schools are definitely allowed to come up with these rules and tell students to follow them.
10 Some Schools Tell Students Not To Wear Coats During Class (And Moms Wouldn't Be Able To Stop That Rule)
As a teacher wrote for The Guardian, "My school has strict rules.... for these things and many more – listening to music, wearing a coat in class or having ties too short, for example."
It might be surprising to hear that some schools say that students can't have coats on in class, but as it turns out, this really is a rule. Moms can't make schools stop imposing this rule, even if they say that their kid gets cold or that they should be able to wear whatever they want. Schools sometimes come up with rules because of previous incidents and problems, so there's always a good reason.
9 Schools Can Send Kids Home When Sick Or When In Trouble
The blogger behind A Day In Our Shoes wrote about she doesn't like that schools make kids go home when they've gotten in trouble: She said, "Well, then address the behavior! And not by sending the child home."
The truth is that if a kid is sick or has gotten into trouble, schools are absolutely able to send the kid home. Teachers are just following the rules, and they wouldn't necessarily have time to stop a lesson in order to talk to the student who is having a problem. That might not be what moms want to hear but many schools are going to make a phone call to the parents and ask them to drive over right away.
8 Schools Aren't A Place For Moms To Socialize With Teachers, So Teachers Don't Have To Be Too Friendly With Parents
Moms might not want to hear this, but it sounds like many teachers aren't that big on becoming too close with parents. As one teacher told Today's Parent, "We all want to connect with our child’s teacher, but guess what? She doesn’t need a new BFF. Don’t take it personally—you are indeed warm and fabulous—but she has a job to do and that job is to teach your kid. Even just a friendly, 'How was your weekend?' first thing Monday morning can throw off the entire day’s schedule."
Even if moms think that teachers should be nicer and more open about sharing things happening in their own lives, moms can't stop teachers from keeping some distance between them.
7 Holding Standardized Tests (Even If Teachers Aren't Big Fans... And Even If Students Don't Like Them)
As one teacher told Reader's Digest, some teachers don't love standardized tests, but they have to administer them. They said, "We’re sick of standardized testing and having to 'teach to the test.'"
It's good for moms to know that teachers have to hold these tests, even if they don't like them and even if kids don't like them, either. Moms might try to reason with their child's teacher by saying that their child learns in a different environment and struggles with those tests, but there's honestly nothing that teachers can do in this situation. They totally wish that they could, though.
6 Enforcing The Dress Code (Even If It Seems Too Strict)
According to This Is Insider, there have been some times where schools sent girls home for wearing outfits that seem totally fine (dresses, for example).
Even if it seems unfair, moms can't stop schools from enforcing the dress code... even if it seems too strict. Even if moms tried to talk to the principal and make a case about why the rules are too intense, the principal would most likely say that there's nothing that can be done. It can be confusing because moms can think that they were listening to the dress code perfectly and there will still be a problem, but arguing about the dress code doesn't seem to get anyone anywhere.
5 Letting The Board Of Education Make Certain Choices
A teacher shared on Reddit that the board of education makes many choices at schools. They wrote, "Most of the decisions I make aren't truly my own, and are simply made by the board of ed. Most of the time I [really dislike] the way I have to teach and want them to know we are on the same page that this [isn't cool]."
When schools are letting the board of education make certain choices, moms definitely have no say here. If there is a problem and a mom goes to talk to the school, the teacher or principal might not mention the board, but this might be what's going on. There will be no use complaining, that's for sure.
4 Not Doing Anything When Mom Says Her Kid Is Having A Tough Time Socially Or There Are Mean Kids
According to Psychology Today, moms often say that they told the school that their kid is having a tough time socially and other kids are being mean... and schools don't do anything in return.
Schools have certain rules that they follow and, honestly, sometimes they ignore the problem. This is incredibly frustrating for moms who want nothing more than to help their kid and help them do well in school. Unfortunately, this is a situation that many moms find themselves in. It seems like moms will have to put in a ton of time and effort in order to get schools to hear what they're saying.
3 Setting Screen Time Rules And Encouraging Parents To Do So At Home, Too
According to Common Sense Media, sometimes schools come up with rules for screen time, and teachers will suggest that parents do the same thing at home.
If moms have a problem with schools imposing rules about screen time, they can't stop the school from doing this, either. And if moms don't want teachers to give them advice about screen time at home, they can't stop that, either.
Sure, moms might feel like teachers are judging them and their parenting choices, but that's not necessarily the case. Good teachers have the students' best interests in mind and want them to do well.
2 Some Schools Actually Have Rules About What Moms Can Pack In Their Kids' School Lunches
According to Bbc.c.uk, "It's pretty straightforward - there are no official rules as it's down to individual schools in England, the Department for Education says, to decide what their policy is on food brought in from home."
Some schools have rules about what foods moms can pack in their kids' school lunches. They could say no junk food, for example.
Moms can't stop schools from doing this, either. But when moms think about it, this does make sense. After all, schools are allowed to make the environment peanut-free and nut-free, right? If moms really want to give their kids treats and the school says no, they can just give their kid these foods outside of school.
1 Schools Will Get Upset That Moms Sent Their Sick Child To School (And Moms Might Hear Some Words About It)
According to Bored Panda, a mom in Canada talked about how it's not fair for moms to send kids who are sick to school. She said, "This is not the babysitting club. ... Your own child needs you to cuddle them, to love them, to care for them back to health."
If a mom lets her sick kid go to school, it's very possible that she'll get a phone call and hear that she needs to drive over and pick her kid up. And it's also possible that she'll hear from the school nurse or her kid's teacher that sick kids always need to stay home so they don't get everyone else sick, too.
While moms might not love that they can't stop schools from doing these 20 things, these are honestly just the rules.
Sources: Parents.com, Westlake.school.nz, Longhill.org.uk, Thetoptens.com, Adayinourshoes.com, Boredpanda.com, Rd.com, Reddit.com, Psychologytoday.com, Commonsensemedia.com, Bbc.co.uk, People.com, Thisisinsider.com