Let's think about the little voice in our heads, shall we? It's that small, nagging voice that tells us when we're doing something wrong; when we're doing something right. It's that subtle tone that coincides with the small knots or butterflies in our stomachs. Where is this voice coming from and why does it dictate so many of our behaviors?
Well, friends, it's our mother's voice.
Growing up, she told us what was considered good and bad, cool and uncool. It's our parents' job to teach us the "ins and outs" of life so that when we're on our own, we'll know how to get by without having a full-fledged meltdown.
But once we grow up and become "adults," we have to navigate balance in our lives. How do we grow up without being considered a boring grown-up? Can we still be a mom but be a "cool mom" like Mrs. George from Mean Girls? No matter how many times we told ourselves we wouldn't be "that" parent, we somehow catch ourselves becoming exactly what we didn't want to become. Minivans might be "momish," but they're perfectly spacious for a large family! Pacifiers may get a bad rep, but they allow our kids to stop crying for a few minutes! If there's one thing parenthood shows mothers, it's to not judge other mothers because one day, many moms realize they do things like their own mothers.
Here are 20 things moms said they would never do, but ended up doing anyway!
20 Popping In Pacifiers
Pacifiers tend to be a tad controversial. Many mothers use pacifiers as a way to soothe their child and to help them with teething. However, in recent years, many moms and specialists are going against using pacifiers because of the lasting damage they can leave on a child's teeth, jaw, and speech. Saying you don't want a pacifier for your child, however, is easier said than done. Once that sweet child starts crying in pain or out of boredom, the first thing you're gonna wish you had is a pacifier to soothe them. No matter how much a mom despises using one, sometimes it's her only choice
19 Snacking In The Grocery Store
Have you ever went grocery shopping and noticed a child walking around with their mama, guzzling down a Pepsi or snacking on some crackers? They're typically eating and sipping with some pretty good manners (for being a toddler in a grocery store), but it's still a weird concept to see someone eating something they didn't buy yet. "I never thought I'd let my kid eat food we had not yet paid for in the grocery store, one mom told Redbook. "Now, with a 15-month old, if she wants Cheez-Its or Goldfish while we're shopping and it will make her quiet and content, I have no qualms opening them up for her right there in the middle of the aisle."
18 Too Much Electronic Time
We don't want our kids to be addicted to electronics, but at the same time, they really are great babysitters and can be educational at times. While there are supposed rules for the amount of screen time an infant and toddler should be allowed to have, a mom has to do what's best for her and her family. If allowing her child to play educational games on her iPad is her idea of studying, then she should follow through with what's working.
I think many of us worry that our kids are becoming electronic dependent, so we write them off altogether, but we need to be realistic at the same time. Electronics aren't going anywhere.
Swearing is a big issue for many parents. As an adult, we know what we can and can't get away with saying while in a public space. For kids though, they don't always understand the social construct of society. Seeing a little kid curse is cute and sometimes laughable, but it's not always desired for parents. Not wanting their own kids to curse, they'll try not to curse either. The problem, however, isn't just cursing in front of them... It's cursing at them. It can be difficult not to curse at them or under your breath but when they're doing everything but listening to you — curse words tend to just fly out.
16 Apologize On Behalf Of Their Child
Do you think it's odd when a child spills their drink on your shirt and runs away without the slightest amount of guilt? Well, what's weirder is when their parent apologizes on behalf of their kid. Not only is it not their parent's job to apologize for something they didn't do, but they' not teaching their kid anything by letting them run rampant. On the flip side though, life can get crazy complicated, and when they're bumping around, it can sometimes be easier to apologize for them instead of dragging them back, explaining what they did that was wrong, and how to do better next time. Being a good person comes with a lot of hard work!
15 The Dreaded Minivan
There are so many moms who claim they'll never get the dreaded minivan because it's a classic "mom" car. There's nothing "cool" about mom cars. They're big and bulky, which makes it great for large families who need extra space, and they're not really as "cool" at some of the other cars on the road. If convertibles were as fuel efficient and spacious as minivans were, I'm sure moms would be lining up. Just because a woman becomes pregnant or starts a family doesn't mean she needs to give up her love for a good car. Time will tell, though. Soon enough, all most moms end up with some sort of "mom" car to get their family around in.
14 Keeping Processed Foods At Bay
At this point, the secrets of the food industry have been released. We all know how harmful the use of preservatives, dyes, and additives can be. Eating fruit-flavored cereal doesn't really mean you're eating fruit, and the same can be said for those fruit enhancing sports drinks. But we'd be lying if we said these meals and drinks weren't easy. We may forbid those kinds of foods and snacks in our households, but eventually, we're going to be running late and absolutely need to buy some of those replacement meals because they're quick and cheap. Does this mean you're a bad mom? Of course not! You're just being realistic and doing what's easiest at that moment.
13 Forcing Them To Say Sorry In An Awkward Situation
Do you know what's weirder than a mom apologizing on behalf of their child? When a mom forces their child to say an apology in an awkward way. As the bystander, you're just kind of standing there looking awkwardly at this little kid who clearly doesn't want to apologize. Meanwhile, their mom is on their knees encouraging their child to feel a certain way that they're just not going to feel. It's awkward, to say the least. No matter how many times soon-to-be moms say they're never going to do this and that they're going to make their child understand the importance of good and bad behavior, these things do happen.
12 Dragging Kids Around On Errands
We've all seen the kids who would rather be anywhere else in the world than with their mom in the grocery store, but when a mom needs something done — she needs it done now. And since kids can't be home alone, they typically need to do whatever their mom needs to do. However, not all moms are down for that kind of concept. "Pre-kids, I remember thinking I would never take my young kids out late at night to the grocery store, movies, or places like amusement parks. I remember seeing poor tired kids getting dragged all over and being upset that those parents didn't get a babysitter," one mom told Redbook. That all changed once she had kids, though. "Now? I have been guilty of doing just that numerous times. Babysitters are expensive! And sometimes they cancel last minute!"
While there are both pros and cons to co-sleeping, some moms are totally against it... until the time comes where they try it. The benefits to co-sleeping mean a mom can get more sleep since their baby feels safe next to her, not waking up in a strange environment. It can also strengthen the bond between mama and baby. The downsides, of course, are that it can be dangerous.
Adults are so used to their own sleeping patterns that they may just roll over unexpectedly mid-sleep. This possibility may just be enough to make you shun the concept altogether, but when you're tired and the only way to get them to stop crying is by sleeping with you, some end up deciding a mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta do.
10 Breastfeeding Over Formula
Women can be totally against formula feeding but breastfeeding isn't as easy as it seems. Not every mom has an easy time with breastfeeding their child. Sometimes milk doesn't come in easily, there's a blocked milk-duct, or their child isn't latching properly. In these dire times, a mom has to feed their child and the only other option is formula. So while a mom may be totally against formula feeding, she needs to have a backup brand to turn to in case anything like this does happen, because it happens all the time. Regardless of your stance of formula over breastmilk and vice versa, your child needs to eat and you're going to do the best thing at that moment for your child.
9 Lying To Them
I'm so close with my mom that I can totally tell when she's lying or stretching the truth. It doesn't really help the fact that I do the exact same thing, so I guess you could say I'm biased. Nevertheless, it used to bother me when my mom told a white lie to us kids or someone else, so I promised myself I'd never lie to my kids. Well, those thoughts were a long time ago. Now that I'm an adult with a better handle on the world, I can totally see why my mom fibbed in certain situations. And although I dislike it, I'm most likely going to be pulling the same stunt on my own kids.
8 Never Leaving The House Undone
There are millions of women who love a tidy home. They know where everything is and everything has a place. But when you have kids, that logic kind of goes out the window. Their toys get thrown everywhere, there baby tunes in the background, and there are a bunch of baby bottle parts drying out on the kitchen counter. Having a clean house isn't a priority as it once was. In fact, the same can be said for outer appearances, as well. As BabyGaga notes, one woman said: "I was the kind of woman to never leave the house without makeup on and even when I became a mom I thought that would never change." But like most things, she did change. This mom no longer cared about doing her hair or makeup once her little one came to be.
7 Always. Having. Tissues.
Why is it that ALL moms have at least one tissue in their purse, pocket, or car? I don't think I've ever met a mother who didn't have extra tissues in her pocket or felt discouraged offering me one. They are always prepared all of the time. And though we may poke fun at these prepared mothers from time to time, we're probably going to morph into them someday. After all, having extra tissued on hand may seem like an "older" thing to do, but they really do come in handy. You never know when you're going to sneeze, catch a cold, or simply need a place to put an old piece of gum.
6 Comparing Their Childhood To Your Own
You know how annoying it is when your parents or grandparents compare their life to yours by starting each sentence with "Back in my day..."? Well, as annoying as it is, we're definitely going to be doing the same thing.
There will come a time where our kids are 6 years old, upset over the fact that all their friends have cell phones but they don't. Instead of handing them an iPhone, we're probably going to say "Back in our day, we didn't have cell phones until we were in high school!" And as the cycle has proven itself, our kids will roll their eyes and say we don't understand.
5 Mommy-And-Me Matching Outfits
My mom definitely took advantage of the times we could wear matching outfits. I don't know if there were specific occasions for these moments, but she would totally do it for holidays and planned photos. When I got older though, she still wanted to match me... But by that age, I was in no mood for matching with my mom and became so upset whenever she tried. I promised myself I would never try to match my daughter; we're not twins! However, after a few years rolled by and more of the pictures like the one above kept popping up, the more inclined I am to do the same exact thing. Just look how adorable they are!
4 Allowing Them To Suck Their Thumb
When you see your baby sucking their thumb to soothe themselves, it can be a touching moment for both parents. Who needs a pacifier when you naturally have a thumb, right?! Well, like pacifiers, sucking your thumb can kind of become like an addiction. A child might not be able to communicate or calm down without the soothing effects of their thumb. The problem, of course, is that sucking your thumb can affect your speech and teeth, just like a pacifier. So, while seeing your little one suck their thumb until they fall asleep may be adorable at first, it can develop into an issue.
3 Judging Other Moms
Unfortunately, we live in a very judgmental world today — especially with the likes of social media. And as a non-mom, it's so easy to see how hard all moms work; we tell ourselves we would never judge another mom because they're doing what they think is best for their kid. However, once we become a mom ourselves, we realize what works and what doesn't work, which can lead to judging. We see what can be deemed as healthy or unhealthy, and seeing how another mom handles that situation can leave some lasting impressions, which aren't always positive. Judging other moms is harsh, but after a couple of years, don't all moms feel like some kind of expert?
2 Eventually, We All Sound Like Our Mothers
Some women promise they won't say the dumb things their mom did when they were in their teens, or do the things they used to do that they disliked when they were growing up. But when the tables are turned and you have your own child, saying "because I said so" really is the only option sometimes. With all the strength a woman can muster, she may try to stay away from her mom's old sayings, but sooner or later, they're the only sayings that make sense.
After a few long nights and one-too-many tears, it's then that we notice the only things that work are the things our mothers tested out. But hey, if older sayings and traditions work for your family, put that beef with your own mother aside and embrace it.
1 Helping Them Blow Their Nose
"I never thought I'd wipe snot with my bare hands...but sometimes you just gotta!" one mom told Redbook. And she has a point! Most women are disgusted at the thought of having to blow someone else's nose. Or wipe the snot from their face. But it's a whole other story when it's your own child. You helped create this child, along with the snot in their nose. If they need help blowing their nose, you're most likely the best person to get the job done. I've even seen moms use their hands as tissues for their kids when they didn't have any available. I guess this is the main reason so many moms have tissues on them at all times!