There's nothing wrong with worrying a little when one is expecting. In fact, worrying is probably very healthy. Worrying means mom cares about the future of her child and family. Worrying means you understand what you're up against, and how hard it truly is to be a great mom. We all worry. It's natural. It's human.
Young moms are some of the strongest people on the planet. These moms take on enormous responsibility early in their lives. Some of them are definitely ready for this life-changing experience. Others, not so much. But whatever the case, many young moms rise to the occasion, going with the flow and adapting their lives to adjust for a new little one in their lives.
They might be strong people, but new moms still worry. And in many cases, young moms worry about things that other moms might not even consider. There are plenty of potential sources of stress. Maybe the father isn't the most mature person in the world. Maybe young moms are being judged by others in public. Maybe the young mom in question is worried that her social life is about to go down the drain. But at the end of the day, young moms are just human beings. And it's okay to worry.
20 Health Insurance Is A Major Worry
Many young moms worry about things that older moms already have organized. When women get pregnant a little younger than normal, they immediately have to scramble to get everything organized. One of these things is health insurance. This might be a little easier to achieve in some countries, but every mom should really be thinking about it. Younger moms might worry more about health insurance, because it's something they don't really have figure out. Take this young mom, for example:
"I went from being a kid to having to learn to navigate life at 15 trying to get health insurance for my pregnancy and food stamps to be able to eat. Had to do it all alone."
19 Some Young Moms Worry About Missed Opportunities
There's definitely a common feeling among all moms that once you have children, your life is over. Most moms know that this isn't actually 100 true. But we can't deny that after a mom has kids, their life changes forever. This can be a great change for many moms. But for young moms, they worry about losing their potential. They worry about what they might have achieved if they had waiting a little while longer before becoming a mom.
"I was 19, very very sick all the time (before we knew that I can't eat most foods). Single mom now. Lived in a trailer with no heat for a while. Finally got an apartment that is decent. Still don't have a car and struggle ever day just to put food on the table. No happy ending here. Just a life that had so much talent and intelligence go down the drain."
18 Staying Together With The Father Is Hard
When moms have children young, they're most likely forming relationships when they are very young. We all know that a relationship is hard work whatever age you might be, but younger people are definitely a little less experienced. Young moms often find it hard to stay together with the father, such as this mother:
"I got pregnant at 19 and had my oldest in the second semester of my sophomore year of college. His father and I split up shortly after he was born, I eventually met my now husband and we went on to have two more children by the time I was 27. Money has always been a bit tight but the kids are grown, mostly done with college, and now getting married and starting families of their own."
17 Sometimes The Dad Just Isn't Mature Enough
On that same note, young moms often have babies with fathers who just aren't very experienced. That's definitely not surprising. After all, guys can be pretty mature - even those who are well into their 30s and 40s! But younger guys are much more likely to be less mature. Some just don't have their priorities straight, and that's something that a lot of young moms worry about. Take this mom, for example:
"I was pregnant with my first when I was 18, and he was born when I was 19. I had been with his dad since I was 15, and I finally left him when my son was 10 months old (he's 5 now). He refused to get a job or do anything at all except play WoW, plus he was extremely emotionally [neglectful]."
16 Young Moms Worry About What The Family Thinks
Make no mistake, there are plenty of families out there who still judge their daughters for having children when they're young. This can be a huge struggle for young moms, and it's definitely something mothers worry about. It's a whole lot of extra stress they really don't need, but unfortunately it's just a reality for a lot of moms out there.
"I had my son when I was 17, and was a single mom for 6 years. I got married in 2010, gained two step-kids, and I'll turn 30 this summer. It took me a little longer, since I was going to school and working full time, as a single mom, but I got a BA in English. Now, I'm a live voice captioner, and even though there's never enough money to go around, our life is pretty good. It took a LONG time for my family to accept that even though I was young, I could be a good parent."
15 Young Moms Often Worry About Debt
Lots of moms worry about money - even those who are older and more experienced. But it goes without saying that young mothers tend to worry about finances a little more often. It makes sense when you think about it. After all, young moms just haven't had the time to come up with adequate savings. Many young moms are barely out of high school. This mom definitely worried about debt:
"I was 22 when I had my first. Maybe not super young, but we were the only ones I knew our age who had a kid and it was hard. That same year I also finished college and we got married. The beginning was not glamorous- many different combinations of me and my husband working part-time jobs, overnights, going to school- whatever we had to do. We ran up about 10k in credit card debt."
14 People Often Think That Young Moms Are Older Sisters Of Their Own Kids
Another thing that young moms worry about is how they're viewed in public. There are tons of young moms out there who get pretty uncomfortable when they go out with their children, because of the way they're treated by others. Some moms might even get mistaken for older sisters of their babies. While this might seem like an honest mistake, it can actually get really frustrating for many moms out there.
"I had my son at a somewhat younger age (I was 19 when I got pregnant - not terribly young but younger than a lot of other moms). I also look a lot younger than I am. I've had people look at me and my son and ask how old my little brother is."
13 Young Moms Often Get Judged By Older Mothers
A lot of moms will agree that some of the most judgmental people on Earth are actually other mothers. In an ideal world, moms would band together and unite, supporting each other and befriending each other. And in many cases, this does happen. But all too often, moms find themselves being judged by other mommies. And in the case of young mothers, this happens a lot. One young moms explains her personal experience:
"The thing is 99% of the other moms I meet are older than me (usually in their mid 30s). I feel incredibly out of place a lot of the time and I feel like a lot of moms just look at me kind of weird and then go on to talk to the other mothers."
12 Young Moms Get Super Weird Vibes From Other People
Sometimes, young moms don't even need to speak with people to get uncomfortable in public. Many young moms just get weird vibes from everyone they see in public, and it's obvious that these random people are thinking about the fact that the mom looks so young. It's yet another thing that moms get worried about when they go out in public.
"I had my first at 19 as well and the vibes you get from other people can certainly make you feel out of place. The biggest thing I reminded myself is "They know my age, not my story." Build up your own confidence, remind yourself that you are an amazing mom and that's what matters, not earning respect from strangers, and then just keep being you! Every mom has challenging days, every mom has great days too, your age has nothing to do with it."
11 Sometimes Young Moms Just Feel Awkward In Public
Young moms can feel awkward and weird even when there's no one around. Just the act of going outside with their baby can make them feel a little uncomfortable, and this is something that a lot of young moms struggle with. Being a mom takes a lot of getting used to. But for young moms out there, it might take a little longer to wrap their head around the concept. One young mom explains it all:
"Had my 1st when I turned 20. Just had my second at 26. Hell I even feel awkward at the bus stop in the mornings. Funny thing is I've always gotten along with people who are older than me better than people my own age."
10 Young Moms Often Get Mean Looks From People
We all know that an iffy look or glance can speak a thousand words. And this is definitely something that young moms struggle with. Funnily enough, a mean look can often make us more emotional than an actual comment or a conversation. The body language is enough to make young moms feel frustrated and worried. This young mom explains that it's something she just has to deal with every day.
"Sometimes I will get [questionable, mean] looks. I'm 19 with a 9mo old, but I look younger. I get the "are you a babysitter" or "when do you graduate high school?" very frequently. Overall 90% I'm ignored."
9 Older Moms Think That Young Moms Have No Idea What They're Doing
In many cases, younger moms can be some of the most accomplished, talented mommies on the planet. Remember, age is just a number. If a mom is young, that doesn't automatically mean that she has no idea what she's doing. But young moms often get judged by others, and these people just assume that she's not a good mom based on her age.
"I do frequently feel judged by other moms, because they are older and from how they act, they seem to think I'm too young to know what I'm doing, or pity me for being a young mom. I'm actually happy to be a younger mom! We'll have the most energy we'll ever have in our 20's, and our kids will be out of the house in our 40's, so we have many years to live our own lives while watching them all grown up, living theirs."
8 People Often Assume That Young Moms Are Single
Let's be honest - there are so many thoughts that run through people's minds when they see a single mom. Some might thing that the mom is inexperienced. Others might think that she's uneducated, or a tragic figure. But as one mom explains, people often think that young moms are actually single. There's really no reason why they should assume this - they just do. And it's definitely a source of worry for a lot of young moms out there.
"I'm a mom, I'm 21 (and unfortunately look too young, like a young teenager) and have a 2 year old boy with my husband. Why does everyone feel entitled to know "if the dad's in the picture?"
7 Young Moms With A Lot Of Kids Get Judged Even More
If you thought that young moms get judged a lot, wait till you hear about young moms with multiple kids. They automatically see it as something pitiful, or something to get embarrassed about. The truth of the matter is that tons of young moms out there had three or more kids in a pretty normal way. They waited till after high school, they got married, they did all the "normal" things. But as one woman admits, they still get judged.
"My husband and I still get horrified looks when people learn we have three kids. No, we did not start having kids in high school. We didn't even start dating in high school. We dated, got engaged, got married and then got around to starting a family."
6 Young Moms Often Get Rude Comments
Sometimes, young moms are afraid to even step out of the door to take their children to the playground. This is because a lot of moms get rude comments by random people. These can range from comments about the father or being a teen mom. But these people just don't know the full story. Even though these comments are obviously ignorant, they're still a source of worry for a lot of young moms out there.
"I'm 33, but I look much younger. My oldest daughter is 12, but she looks much older, and she's just about my height now (5'10). I have 3 kids, with a 4th on the way and I'm always mistaken for the babysitter/nanny/older sister, or being asked if my kids are all mine. It doesn't usually bother me if it's just a comment on how I look too young to have my kids. But people can be really rude, and have made me feel bad before. Condescending remarks about if my kids have the same father (they do), or about me being a teen mom, etc. That's not appreciated."
5 People Ask Young Moms Whether The Dad Is Around
You'd be surprised about what kind of comments young mothers get on a daily basis. It's something that a lot of young mommies just have to deal with. They put on a brave face and head out the door with their children, even though they know that random people are going to say mean things. One mom admits that people constantly ask whether the father is in the picture or not. Can you imagine?
"People can just be rude. I got married at 19 and had my first child at 20, there was never a shortage of people asking me about "the father" or if I was working as a nanny! Now my son is 12 and all his friends tell him he's got this super cool awesome mom and that they're jealous."
4 Young Moms Worry About Losing Their Social Lives
A lot of young moms worry about what will happen to their social lives. One of the best things about being young is hanging out with friends, going out at night and just having fun. But when you have kids, your social life might take a hit. This is something that a lot of young moms worry about. They don't want to look back and feel like they missed out on their youth.
"Everyone became self involved and we rarely have time for one another. I only have one child who's 15 now (had him young) and over the years as they've had children they've drifted off. We get together for bigger events like birthday parties and things but since it's a larger social event there's really no one-on-one time. The time keeps moving and the gaps in between become larger every time. our last childless friend just had her baby and pretty much all adult social time is just gone."
3 Some Young Moms Never Knew What To Expect
As most moms will admit, there's no way to fully understand what being a mom is like until it actually happens. For a lot of young moms, this can be a truly rude awakening. Young moms commonly worry about what being a mom will be like. Some aren't even sure that they're ready. Take this young mom, for example:
"I got pregnant at 18 and never thought about being a mother until I saw the positive sign on the test. I never expect motherhood to be this intense. The constant catering to a baby is WAY more than what it is made out to be. And when she was first born all the duties got put on me because my partner was not ready to be a dad... So over the past four months I have grown resentments..." Basically, taking care of an infant can be pretty tough!
2 Some Young Moms Worry About Their Family Finding Out
A lot of young moms also try to hide the pregnancy from their family. While this is probably not the best course of action, it's definitely understandable. After all, young moms can be pretty self-conscious about what their family might think. Some moms worry so much about their family finding out that they try to hide it for as long as possible. This particular mom definitely found herself in that boat:
"I was 20, and in this relationship with someone I considered a close friend. It was an incredibly stressful time for me, hiding my pregnancy from family for as long as I could. The guy was basically never there."
1 Some Young Moms Deal With Depression
Today, it's common knowledge that depression can affect pretty much any pregnant woman, regardless of age. But because of the intense pressure that a lot of young moms feel, depression can be a major blow to them in particular. There's so many crazy thoughts bouncing around in a young mom's mind, and depression is definitely a common occurrence.
"I am a young mom, I'd rather not say my age. And I just am so depressed. My bf got me pregnant and left when our daughter was 2. So I am still stuck working so hard to provide, and living at home with my parents. I feel like I have no friends, and I am alone."