The one thing that all moms can agree on is that for one reason for another, they have received judgmental remarks from people who know nothing about them at all. One common judgmental statement that many moms have gotten from others who may have been well-meaning or not are when they are questioning their kids' diet. If their kids are eating the same thing every day because they are at an age where they are in a picky eating phase, then others will ask their parents out of concern if they are giving their kids enough of a variety of food due to nutritional reasons.
However, another common thing that many moms have experienced as well is whenever their kids are having meltdowns in supermarkets, people around them will make judgmental remarks about their parenting abilities. They are frequently told that they need to control their kids better, without them knowing that there may be a good chance that their kids that are having meltdowns may have some special needs.
Additionally, another common issue that moms face which is really an issue for those moms that are in their twenties is that they receive plenty of judgmental comments or are asked iffy questions. These comments and questions have to do with them being young moms. Here are 20 things that people have said to young moms that they are quite tired of hearing.
20 Was The Baby Planned?
This question is one of the rudest ones that anyone can ask any young mom, however, according to Popsugar, this question is asked a lot to young mothers. And, the fact of the matter is, regardless of the age of the mom, whether or not she had planned her pregnancy is not relevant. Additionally, it is not of anyone's business.
And, the one thing that young moms are the most bothered by the most whenever they are asked this question is that the one who is asking it assumes that her baby was an oops. And, whether the pregnancy was planned or not, the mom loves her baby regardless and would never see her baby as an accident even if the pregnancy was not planned.
19 Is Mom Even Old Enough To Be A Parent?!
According to Popsugar, this particular question is asked often to young mothers. And, it is unlikely that anyone that is 10 years older than her would ask that question. This one is usually asked by those who are old enough to be this mom's parent. And, the reality is that these young moms are in their 20's, and not in their teens. And, even teen moms should not be asked questions like this either because it is just wrong.
Any 20-year-old individual is an adult, even though they are young. With that said, they are no longer kids even if they are young adults.
18 Be Prepared To Face Permanent Changes In Looks
A very young mom's body may end up bouncing back to a degree, and with that said, this statement that young moms are told is clearly not nice. Additionally, it is not of anyone's business. However, according to Popsugar, this sentence is one that many young moms say that they are told often.
And, yes, it is true that the younger the mom is, the easier it will be for her to not face the permanent bodily changes that are caused by pregnancy. However, that really again is not of anyone else's concern and it is one of those statements that should never be said at all. Anyone’s body is not of anyone’s concern except for their physicians.
17 None Of Mom's Friends Have Babies Yet
Whenever any young mom is reminded or told that they embarked on the motherhood journey much sooner than her friends, it only has her rolling her eyes. According to Popsugar, this statement is said a lot by those who don't have an issue with sharing their opinions with the young mom.
However, whether or not this true, meaning that whether or not this young mom started having kids before her friends - someone in her friend circle would have started having kids at some point. And, this particular young woman happened to be the first one to become a mom among her friends. If she doesn't mind that her friends are childless, then no one else should either.
16 Can Mom Afford To Raise A Child?
It is no secret that caring for a baby is quite costly, and it is also assumed that young moms don't have a lot of money as it is. However, according to Popsugar, many young moms are asked this question. And the fact of the matter is, there are plenty of older moms as well that don't have a lot of money, yet they make it work and young moms would be able to do the same as well.
And, any mom regardless of their ages learns how to budget their money each month, and start living a frugal lifestyle. If anything, young moms get a head start on learning how to manage their money early on in life. And, by the time they are older, they will likely be proud to have a lot of money saved up because of adopting a frugal lifestyle very early in life.
15 Mom Should Have Done More Traveling Alone Or With The Partner
The fact of the matter is that not every young woman wants to put her life on hold just to travel. And, a lot of these young women do end up embarking the motherhood journey early on in their lives. And, according to Popsugar, the one thing that those who make this statement to young moms forget something important.
Because of the fact that a young mom had her kids early on in life means that her kids will be much older and independent by the time she is in her late 30's or early 40's. This means that while she has been living a frugal lifestyle while raising her kids, she managed to save up money that she can use to travel - with or without her kids! And, at that point, traveling with kids would not be problematic because they would be old enough to be her travel companions!
14 Mom Won’t Be Able To Accomplish Personal Goals Now
People assume that any young person would have personal goals that have to do with traveling, building up their careers, and paying off student loans. They would never consider that having kids at a young age as one. However, according to Popsugar, this statement is said to a lot of moms that are in their 20's.
Not to mention, people who make this type of statement often forget that even if the young mom had some of these goals she wanted to accomplish after having kids - she can still make it work. Yes, she will have to make some sacrifices and work harder to attain them, but it can be done with using the best strategies.
13 Mom Should Wait A While Before Having Another
This statement can be quite hurtful to any mom regardless of her age. And, this statement can also hurt young dads as well. According to Popsugar, those who say this sentence to young moms never consider that she may already be pregnant with her second child. Additionally, perhaps she and her partner have been trying to have another baby and have been experiencing secondary infertility. Or maybe she had experienced a pregnancy loss.
Either way, this statement should never be said to parents regardless of their ages. And, it is also not of anyone's business whenever a couple chooses to have more kids after having one or two - if that is what they even want in the first place.
12 Mom Missed Out On Enjoying Her Youth
Why would any young mom miss her youth even though she has kids of her own in the picture? According to Popsugar, those who say this to young moms never consider that she is embracing her youth even while she is caring for her kids.
Additionally, these young moms have the opportunity to enjoy motherhood for a bit longer while her babies are still young. Just because a young mom has the responsibility of raising kids does not mean she would stop doing things that those in her age bracket enjoy doing. She can still enjoy listening to hip-hop music if she likes, or she can most definitely watch television shows that are geared towards her childless peers as well.
11 Do The Parents Approve Of Her Being A Young Mom?
There is a very good chance that those who are asking these young moms are forgetting several things. For one, as soon as you turn 18, you are legally an adult. And, that means that you can most definitely listen to your parents' opinions and suggestions. But there is no rule that you have to take it. That would apply to motherhood even if the parent doesn't agree with you by having kids early on in life.
And, according to Popsugar, many parents would not only be fine with their kids having babies at a young age, but they would be honored to become young grandparents. Additionally, they also have a good chance of becoming great-grandparents as well!
10 Mom's Kids Will Be Older Than Her Friends’ Future Kids
There is truth to this statement for young moms who have friends who are still childless by choice. And, according to Popsugar, even though many young moms do get this statement thrown at them, in the grand scheme of things, it is not such a huge deal really.
This is because, while any young mom would not have as much in common with her childless friends, if they are good friends, they will stick by her no matter what. And, when her friends start having kids, she can give them advice about motherhood since she already has had the experience. Not to mention, any young mom would benefit a lot from having childless friends because they are the ones who can help keep her sanity intact because she can have adult conversations that have nothing to do with raising kids. Every mom needs that every now and then.
9 She Can’t Possibly Be Ready To Take On A Big Responsibility
No one can be the judge of whether or not the mom is ready to have kids except for herself. And, according to Romper, this statement is said a lot to very young moms. That is because, just because the mom is young, it is believed that she is not mature enough to take in such a huge responsibility by having kids at her age.
However, some people mature quicker than others, and with that said, many of these individuals, in general, are ready to embark the journey of parenthood. And, even so, if the pregnancy was not planned, there are many cases of young moms who have grown up a lot due to having a baby of their own.
8 Kiss Your Social Life Goodbye
There is some truth about the fact that once a mom becomes a mom regardless of her age, her social life will change. However, that also does not mean that it will completely disappear. According to Romper, for those who say that are insinuating that this mom must cut out all of her social contacts now that she has a child because there is no time or place in her life for friends.
However, that part is untrue. Young moms have the priority of caring for their babies, but at the same time, it does not at all mean that she cannot make time to see her friends occasionally. Childcare arrangements can always be made whether dad stays home with the kids while mom goes out with her friends, or if her family volunteers to watch her kids, or if she called a trusted childcare agency to provide babysitting services.
7 How Old Is Mom?!
There is nothing wrong with asking this question to children, and there is also nothing wrong with professionals asking this question to people in general if their age is relevant for the reasons that they are asking. However, according to Romper, many young mothers are asked this question by random people, and this one is clearly not a polite one to ask.
In fact, this question is not appropriate to ask unless there is a good reason for it, such as the one that has been mentioned in the first sentence. And, the fact that anyone feels the need to ask this question to be nosy is proof that many people have forgotten their manners over the years.
6 You Do Realize You Had Options, Right?
Everyone knows that any pregnant woman has options if she is not ready to become a mom, such as giving her baby up for adoption. And, according to The Odyssey Online, many young moms are asked this question quite often. That is because people will immediately insinuate that the fact the mom is young, she is not mature enough to take care of a baby. And, this is quite rude, also.
However, the fact of the matter is, there are plenty of moms that are 21 years old that are more than ready to take on a big responsibility. Whereas, there are women in their 40's who clearly are not ready or mature enough to be moms. It all depends on the individual.
5 Are You Going To Drop Out Of Your Studies?
This question that people ask is obviously only relevant to the young moms that are still in school. According to The Odyssey Online, moms that are in college are asked this question often. This is because those who ask this question to these moms cannot fathom the idea of having to focus on their studies which takes up a lot of their time while they are raising the little ones. It absolutely can be done with this time management planning.
However, the same could also apply to older mothers with babies that are working. However, they are not asked if they plan to quit their jobs in order to stay home and take care of their babies because of the fact that these moms are older. And, people will think for obvious reasons that older moms are more mature and responsible.
4 Your Life Is Over
Young moms have actually been told this by many people, according to The Odyssey Online. And, these moms who are told this become understandably annoyed. In fact, one mom's response to this statement was that because her heart is still beating, she is still very much alive and her life is not over.
Once anyone has their first baby, their lives will be different, but it is definitely far from over. And, again, this is not something that an older new mom in her 30's would be told because of the fact that people would automatically assume that they had lived their lives before embarking on the motherhood journey
3 I Wasn’t Mature Enough To Have Kids At Your Age
Buzzfeed had created a poll and asked a number of young moms about the things that they are the most tired of hearing. One of those things that these young moms said was that they were tired of hearing from others was them saying how they were not ready to become parents at the ages these moms were.
And, the fact of the matter is, that may be the truth to those who tell these young moms that. However, there are some parents out there that are ready to explore the parenthood journey at a younger age. This is something that these individuals cannot understand. No one is the same, and this issue applies to that as well.
2 It Must Be Nice To Have So Much Energy
Another common thing that the Buzzfeed staff had found is that many young moms have been told by others quite often is that just because they are young, it is assumed that they have plenty of energy. And, because I was in my mid-twenties when I started having kids, I can tell you right now that my energy levels did decline a lot.
With that said, many young moms have reported that the same thing has happened. This means that it does not matter whether you are 21 or 41 when you have a baby. Babies and older kids require plenty of energy from moms, and the energy well can easily become depleted regardless of the mom's age! Kids born to young moms will keep them on their feet just like those who are born to older moms. No one has an infinite amount of energy!
1 I Thought That Was Your Little Sibling
According to the Buzzfeed staff, they had found that many young moms have been asked if their babies were their younger siblings. Quite honestly, I think that is an odd thing for anyone to say at all because most women in their twenties will have that youthful appearance. However, I would not think it would be so youthful to the point that people would think that they were taking care of their little brothers or sisters.
There are some moms regardless of their age may actually take this as a compliment. Additionally, this particular statement that young moms have been told does not insinuate anything. There is nothing in this statement that implies that they are too young to properly care for their kids. These moms have simply been asked if their kids are their younger siblings simply because of how young these moms appear.
Sources: Popsugar.com, Romper.com, Theodysseyonline.com, Buzzfeed.com