Pregnancy is a joyful time in any woman's life so why wouldn't she want to shout her news from the rooftops? Our pregnancy announcements are getting to be bigger events than ever before as we announce that we're expecting a bundle of joy. With the likelihood of our news spreading quicker than wildfire, it is no surprise that there are quite a few things we have to think about before we tell the world that we're expecting.
Some moms opt to announce they are expecting as soon as those two little lines show up. Some wait until they have no other choice. Most of us announce some place in the middle, likely around that golden 12 week marker that we consider safe territory. Then there are those who never announce and keep it on the need to know basis for just those who we will see in person. No matter how we choose to do it, there isn't a right or wrong way to announce (or not announce) a pregnancy. It is a personal journey that we should be able to experience and enjoy however we wish.
There are a few things we should take into consideration before we share our news. How would we feel sharing if something happened? Are we ready for the world to know? Will it travel via word of mouth before or more than we want it to?
20 How Far Along She Is
There seems to be this social rule that we should wait to speak about our pregnancy beyond immediate family until we are 12 weeks along. According to TheBump.com, miscarriage usually happens before 13 weeks, which is likely why women wait until after the first trimester to share their news.
Now there is no reason a woman has to wait until 12 weeks. The decision is a personal one. Some want to celebrate and enjoy every day without keeping it a secret or feeling like they're lying. Some people want to celebrate privately. Some wait to protect themselves from the possibilities of complications. Some want to enjoy the secret privately.
19 The "What Ifs"
One of the biggest concerns expecting mothers have when announcing is the risk of losing the pregnancy. Chances are someone might see our announcement, but they might not hear that we lost it which would make for some awkward and unpleasant conversations. Some people would rather avoid those chances.
On the flip side, we might want to talk about it. We might want that emotional support from loved ones or people who have been in a similar situation. In the United States, the risk of losing a pregnancy is between 10 and 25 percent according to TheBump.com which means it's more common than we think. Talking about it can be a good way to work through it, and we might also find some comfort in knowing that we aren't alone.
18 How It Will Impact Work
It seems there is a great variety of how work places respond to pregnancy, and many women are a little intimidated to announce their pregnancies for fear of how it will impact their career or employment. According to Babycenter.com it is acceptable to wait until about 14 to 20 weeks to tell our employer we are expecting.
Some factors will influence when we spill the beans, though. We might want to reveal it earlier if we are sick or stressed out by our job. We should also probably reveal that we are expecting before we show though we don't necessarily have to.
17 Would She Rather Keep It Private?
We live in a culture where we seem to share our every thought with the world. Thanks Twitter. But a great deal of us seem to be stepping away from that lifestyle and keeping our private life private. Pregnancy changes our lives. Once those two little lines appear, we immediately start thinking about the life we want to lead for our little one.
Though we may have to tell some people because our baby bump gives us away, we can choose to keep our pregnancy off social media, on a need to know basis, or even avoid tell our employer until we are showing. For some, we just want this to be a private time with our loved ones. We have that right. We all remember Kylie Jenner, who shares her entire life with the world, kept her pregnancy a secret until after she delivered. According to People.com, the reality star wanted her pregnancy to be a positive, happy experience and avoiding negative commentary from the internet would certainly help that.
16 Will There Be Negativity?
We should never have to worry about how other people will react to our pregnancy. That seems pretty absurd, but in today's world it's something we might want to consider before we announce our big news. We don't want anyone to ruin our big news with their negative opinions and commentary. It isn't good for mom or her bump.
FitPregnancy.com suggests avoiding negative feelings, including our own, during pregnancy because it takes a toll on us and our unborn child. Though we shouldn't let other people's opinions influence our happiness about our baby, that doesn't mean some of their comments won't get to us a little bit.
15 Who To Tell Privately (Or First)?
There are some people who deserve to be told our pregnancy news first. They take priority over others and deserve to be told personally instead of finding it from social media or word of mouth. They'd probably be sad to find out from someone other than us ourselves.
Though we all know of the 12 week rule, there isn't an encouraged time to tell friends and family we are expecting. According to Parents.com, we should tell them whenever we're comfortable doing so. Sometimes we can't hide our symptoms or would be put in a situation that's not fit for pregnancy. Sometimes we're just too excited to wait, and we don't and shouldn't have to!
14 How Long Could We Hide It?
It's no surprise that women debate just keeping their pregnancies to themselves. There are the belly rubbing strangers, intrusive questions, and the obnoxious stereotypes. We have the mental debate of do we want people to think we're just gaining weight or confess we're pregnant honestly sometimes. It's not that we aren't happy. It's just that well people can be annoying and even rude.
According to BabyCenter.com, we should tell our employer about our pregnancy before we post it online. That means that we have to be comfortable with our coworkers and boss knowing we're pregnant before we make our announcement. In a perfect world, that would be no problem. Yet many women worry that their pregnancies will affect their career leaving them wearing long tops and trying to hide their bumps as long as possible.
13 How Do We Feel About Our Pregnancy?
We can love our baby and still feel unprepared for motherhood. Even if we're trying to get pregnant for months, when we see those two pink lines it means things are real. That's a lot to take in!
Some women announce because the emotional support and excitement of others will help us get excited. Some opt to wait to announce until we are happy, feeling comfortable, and ready to announce. According to MySouthernHealth.com, new moms often experience excitement and anxiety during early pregnancy. We are hopeful, but we also know that things go wrong sometimes. What mother doesn't worry?
Once we share our news whether that be with everyone or a select few, we can talk about our pregnancy. We can get that much needed emotional support that we don't have if no one knows. It can be super helpful.
12 Do We Need Help?
Not all pregnancies are the same. Some women don't have the benefit of waiting to tell or hiding their pregnancies because their pregnancy comes with extra complications. They might be too sick to go to work, need help at home, or an extra hand with the kiddos. One condition that can actually put an expectant mother in the hospital is hyperemesis gravidarum, according to AmericanPregnancy.org, which is extreme morning sickness. It can cause dehydration.
We want to do what is best for our baby. Our health is obviously more important than sticking to some standard regarding when we "should" announce our pregnancy. It is also likely that if we are leaning on someone for help, they would be just as supportive when we tell them and if something were to go wrong.
11 Will It Bring Additional Stress?
Pregnancy is a time to avoid stress. Ideally it shouldn't be stressful to announce we're pregnant, but some people can surely create quite a bit of extra, unnecessary stress for a mom-to-be. They bring negative energy, rude commentary, or intrusive questioning. There are also those who might overstep their boundaries during our pregnancy creating problems for us.
According to MarchOfDimes.org, stress during pregnancy can cause headaches, trouble sleeping, and issues with mom's appetite. Extra high levels of stress can even increase the risk of problems like high blood pressure for mom. Not good.
We shouldn't have to cater our announcement to other people. No one should take away this time for us, but that doesn't mean that some particular people might not try, unfortunately.
10 It's Too Exciting To Wait
According to TheBump.com the risk of miscarriage drops significantly after the first trimester which is why many women wait until after 12 weeks to announce their pregnancy. That obviously isn't the case for everyone, and announcing even sooner is becoming increasingly popular. We are too excited to wait. We want to celebrate no matter what.
When we announce is a personal choice. There isn't some perfect window to tell the world we're expecting so we should do what works for us. It's an exciting time and if we want to spill the beans to our entire online following, strangers in the grocery store, or just keep it private that's our choice.
9 How Dad Feels
We didn't make this baby alone. It took two people so two people should be in on the decision making when it comes to the big announcement. Obviously mom is a little more involved because she is the one who might be sick, cannot drink, or will start showing making it harder for her to hide their news than dad.
Mom might be too excited to wait, but dad might want to wait until the second trimester when the risk of losing the baby goes down, as reported by TheBump.com. We have to compromise which will be good practice for the many decisions we have to make once baby arrives.
8 Would We Be Comfortable Having That Conversation?
No one wants to talk about loss. For generations we followed the social protocol to keep it to ourselves, but lately women have been shaking that up. That conversation, whether we'd be comfortable having it or not, and with whom, are all personal choices. It is something we should take into consideration though before announcing our pregnancy to anyone in particular.
Pregnancy is obviously a happy time, as it should be. According to Tommys.org about 1 in every 4 women experience losing their pregnancy. It's more common than we think or than we hear about. During the early trimester, we should maybe still ask ourselves if we would be comfortable talking about our loss with the person we want to share our happy news with. The happy news is much more fun to share than the sad news.
7 Are We Ready For All Of The Questions?
Pregnancy is an exciting time, even for those not involved. Suddenly we find ourselves fielding questions from baby's perspective name to how we plan on delivering. People are nosy. Putting our pregnancy out there on social media seems to make outsiders feel like they're involved and entitled to rather personal details.
Some people even go as far as to ask whether or not we planned to get pregnant according to Babble.com. Seriously why would anyone feel the need to and actually have the guts to ask someone that? As for asking about our perspective name choices, Babble suggests asking if we're having fun instead of asking for the name specifically. Honestly it's not a subject we necessarily want general opinions of because we don't want someone to undermine our name choice.
6 Will Whoever We Tell Spread The News?
Face it, we love to gossip and pregnancy announcements are big news. Do we trust whoever we're telling to not spread our news until we are ready to? We obviously want to share the news ourselves (especially with loved ones) so we might want to think about the chances that they could hear from word of mouth before they hear from us.
TinyLove.com suggests telling one trusted person in addition to our spouse to help us keep our secret (if that's what we wish to do). That way we have someone to talk to and confide in, but we don't have to keep track of who knows and who doesn't.
5 Will Our Symptoms Give Us Away?
The symptoms that come along with the first trimester of pregnancy are pretty obvious for some of us. For some women, it's the inability to drink that gives them away. Others deal with severe morning sickness or nausea that has people raising their eyebrows. It's not exactly easy to hide the fact that we're sick from 9 to 11 A.M. everyday while we're at work or that we suddenly swapped our glass of red habit for white soda. According to TinyLove.com we could try to hide our lack of drinking by ordering non-alcoholic versions of our drinks. Not a bad idea!
It seems like other moms are the biggest pregnancy spotters. They know the symptoms and are suspicious with just one look at us!
4 Those Struggling With Infertility
Our announcement is happy for us, but for some people it might be a reminder of losing their own past pregnancy or the inability and struggle to get pregnant. About 12 percent of women in the United States struggle to get pregnant according to the CDC. It's not that our news isn't good news; it's just that it is also probably a reminder that they aren't pregnant which can leave them with a bittersweet feeling.
Some women consider telling their close friends and family who struggle with infertility about their pregnancy in private. It won't catch them off guard as much as a big social media announcement and will give them some time to process to the news.
3 Do We Want Any Information First?
Today we can find out so much about our baby before he is born, including if he's a he or a she. Some women get genetic testing done within the first trimester and wait for those results and the all clear to announce their pregnancy. Some wait even longer for the 20 week scan when they can also tell the gender to reveal they are expecting.
During the 20 week scan, they can see brain and heart defects as well as spinal cord abnormalities according to Parents.com. During this time, they also measure the baby's size and are likely able to tell us if we are having a boy or a girl.
2 Our Medical History
Women who have had previous miscarriages might be a little more cautious about announcing following pregnancies because they've dealt with loss and talking about it. It's not something that the majority of people like to do or handle well.
Our fertility decreases as we get older. About one third of women over 35 struggle with fertility according to the CDC. These women might wait a little bit longer before announce they are pregnant or before they even tell people that they are trying.
If we had previous complications or high risk pregnancies, we might want to wait for further testing or scans to give us the all clear. Privacy can be a protective bubble at this time from invasive questions or other people's stories.
It seems like once we start talking about it, everyone feels entitled to details. It's not always easy to talk about our problems with fertility, but it can be helpful.
1 Our Boundaries
When we become parents, we are taking on a new role. We need to define the boundaries for how we want to raise our future children and who we want involved. Mothers-in-law are notorious for overstepping mom-to-be's boundaries. Before we tell her that we're expecting, we might want to think about if she'll spread the news before we're ready and make our wishes clear.
According to Parenting.com, we should establish clear boundaries with in-laws (and our own parents) right away so things we don't want happening don't become hard habits to break. Future grandparents are just as excited as we are, but some moms-to-be feel overcrowded and invaded. This is our pregnancy, and we should be able to enjoy it how we choose.