Childbirth can be a chaotic experience with lots of moments that moms-to-be don't anticipate. It's not just the physical stuff, although that doesn't always go according to plan. But the situation can have some other obstacles that are unexpected. And while the nurse is there to help, there are decisions and elements that she might not agree with.
Most women want to have the nurse on their side, especially if there is a bit of a battle between her and the doctor or her and family members. For the most part, that happens. Most nurses are going to be rooting for the mom even when they don't agree, but they may not be on the same page with the doctor's orders or tactics. They will grin and bear it if the mom chooses a harsher birth plan or has some emotional moments during labor. She will step in for the mom if the dad doesn't step up, and she might even intervene if needed during family drama. Nurses are the best advocates for moms during childbirth, even if they disagree, so this list might help a woman feel prepared for that very important relationship during such a trying time.
Here are 20 things that can happen during labor and delivery (most nurses disagree with).
20 Pushing Pitocin For No Good Reason
There are a lot of good reasons why a doctor might recommend inducing labor, and nurses are supportive when moms make that decision. That might happen because of complications like gestational diabetes or preeclampsia, which can put the baby and the mom at risk.
But sometimes the discussion comes up for no good reason. Maybe the mom is just sick of being pregnant or the doctor wants to go on vacation. The truth is, though, that the best for the baby is to wait until 39 weeks. Unless there is a medical reason otherwise, and all nurses agree that moms should wait to that point if they can.
19 Moms That Aren't Prepared
Labor and delivery is a hard and complicated process, and it's hard for anyone to fully prepare themselves for the moment that their baby arrives. Nurses understand that, and they are happy to help a mom-to-be in her time of need. But they don't approve when the mom comes in without any preparation (unless there is a good reason for that).
Women should try to educate themselves about how labor progresses and what complications might arise. Many hospitals have courses on childbirth that include some natural techniques for dealing with the pain. Nurses will help regardless, but they always appreciate a mom who comes to the hospital prepared.
18 Mom Getting Hangry
Nurses understand that moms get hungry while they go through labor and delivery in the hospital. Many times they have to wait 12 or more hours, which can mean skipping two or three meals since many hospitals don't allow women to eat just in case they might need a C-section.
But some moms get hangry, and that can be off-putting. Women's hormones take them on a roller coaster ride during labor and delivery, so they can get mean on top of the usual hunger irritation. It's understandable, but it would be good to be nicer to the nurse, especially since they are doing all that they can to make a mom-to-be comfortable...
17 Partners Who Are Squeamish
Childbirth can be pretty gross sometimes. It can involve a lot of bodily fluids and body parts. Some people can look past the yuckiness and fully engage in the experience of supporting a mom and meeting the new baby. But some partners are squeamish, and that can make everything more unpleasant.
With all that is going on, a nurse shouldn't have to worry about a dad fainting at the site of the red stuff. If they don't want to see things rip, they need to stay by the mom's head, and he needs to keep his mouth and his gag reflex in check when gross things happen.
16 Refusing Any Interventions
These days, a lot of moms have strong opinions about childbirth. Some are all in for natural birth and don't want any meds to help them through the process, and they question the need for other interventions. But sometimes those procedures are a good idea that will help the mom out.
While nurses will help either way, they would much prefer a mom to be willing to consider interventions such as manual breaking of water. There are times when the nurse and the doctor can help and possibly improve the safety and the experience during childbirth, but only if the mom is willing to accept it.
15 Feeling Disappointed For Having An Epidural
Epidurals have gotten a bad rap lately. Research has shown some downsides to getting the pain relief procedure such as the possibility of labor stalling and some issues with nursing, which has caused many women trying for the delivery without meds.
But there are times when women plan to go without but they end up having an epidural. That's okay—it's a personal choice—but because of societal pressures, some women feel like failures. Nurses don't agree with that assessment because they know that even with drawbacks, there are benefits. They know that sometimes an epidural can help, and there is no guilt in that decision.
14 The Glam Squad
Having a baby isn't exactly glamorous work. In between the contractions, some moms might be tempted to contour and do their nails for the pictures when baby arrives, but nurses don't think that moms should even bother.
During the transition phase, most women end up drenched in sweat and their hair is a mess. They will end up with mascara streaks due to the hormonal crying, and they aren't likely to care much by the time the baby arrives. Of course, it's nice to get a good selfie with the baby when she arrives, but the makeup can wait until after the delivery.
13 When Mom Won't Listen To Professional Suggestions
Going through childbirth can be really difficult, especially if a mom-to-be chooses to go through an unmedicated birth. Nurses are a woman's best asset in those cases—unless she pays extra to hire a doula—but it won't do any good if she doesn't listen to her suggestions.
Nurses know a number of positions that might be more comfortable during labor, and they can guide the dad-to-be on a massage or even a perineal massage, which can make a big difference in the experience. It's always good to listen to advice from experts, and the maternity ward nurses are the best if only mom would listen.
12 Too Many Check-Ins
Figuring out when to go to the hospital is one of the first difficult situations during labor and delivery. And a lot of women end up coming too early in the labor process and pushing back when the nurse tells them that they have to go home.
It's actually best for the mom to go home until her labor has progressed. That's because she can walk more freely, eat some meals to keep up her energy and have the freedom to do what makes her comfortable during the early stages of labor. It might be hard to hear that it's not time yet, but nurses disapprove when women insist on checking in early.
11 Too Many People In The Delivery Room
Having a baby is an exciting time, and many time lots of family members and friends want to be a part of the festivities. That can mean that the birthing suite gets pretty crowded during labor, and that can be something that the nurse doesn't approve of, especially if things get chaotic.
Usually, healthcare professionals don't step in until there are complications or the pushing phase. At that point, they might have to clear the room of the crowd. Between the doctor, the nurse, and any other needed personnel and equipment, there might not be room for anyone other than the dad.
10 Birth Plans That Are Too Strict
Birth plans are a big deal these days, with some women spending the entire third trimester trying to figure out their preferences on various interventions. Moms-to-be might feel like they have more control over the situation if they write down what music they want played and other details, but nurses don't approve of the strictest birth plans.
Labor and delivery can be hard to predict, and moms who aren't flexible could have a harder time getting through the experience. The baby might come quickly or a complication could arise, and that can mean that the plan has to be thrown out of the window.
9 Where Did Dad Go?
Some women have to go through labor alone. While it takes two people to get pregnant, only one of them has to be in the delivery room. That can make for an awkward situation with the nurse, especially if the dad disappears in the middle of the big event.
There are plenty of reasons why a dad might have to miss the birth such as a deployment or he just doesn't get there fast enough. Sometimes he just isn't that into the experience and that can be a big downer. The nurse will do all that she can to support the mom in her time of need, but it would be nice if the dad could do the same.
8 Family Fights
Childbirth is stressful on its own. For some families, that can make their personal issues even worse, which unfortunately means that fights among family members can be common even in the delivery room. Some people think they can keep their situation to themselves, but things can come to a head during labor.
Fights can happen between the mom and dad, sisters, in-laws, and more. Sometimes it's minor but other times it might mean that the aura in the room becomes tense. Some families have even ended up in fistfights, and no one agrees with that going on when a mom is trying to bring a baby into the world.
7 Giving A Deadline For Delivery
Nothing can add pressure to a situation like a deadline — and that is certainly true during labor and delivery. There are some legitimate medical reasons why the doctor might want to set a deadline but that can make it more difficult.
In general, doctors want women to give birth within 24 hours of when their water breaks, so if things aren't going along quick enough, they might recommend induction meds. It's tough for women to feel the pressure of giving birth on a deadline and then to worry for a safe delivery, so nurses would rather things go on their own schedule if possible.
6 When The Doctor Doesn't Explain Things Well
Nurses might get annoyed with moms and dads and other family members during labor and delivery, but they also disagree at times with what the doctor does. One thing that is a problem is when he seems to force a mom into decisions without explaining things.
That can be the scariest part for moms-to-be if they don't understand what is going on with their body and why they need intervention. These days moms want to have information so that they can feel empowered to make the best decision for their baby, so they should advocate for their doctor to explain things.
5 Birth With The Big O
Giving birth is a personal experience, that is for certain. But one thing that could make it even more personal is the idea of actually enjoying birth (if you know what I mean). Some nurses think that would be best to be kept to at home, but they can't always control it. Getting in bed with a partner can help speed along the labor, but it's not necessarily a good idea at the hospital...
Some people say that trying to achieve pleasure can release endorphins and relax the body, making childbirth easier and more fun. But that can be awkward to achieve in front of medical personnel who are virtual strangers. It happens, but nurses frown upon it.
4 When It Isn't About Mom And Baby
There might be a lot of people in the delivery room, but there are only two that really matter that day — the mom and the baby. Unfortunately, sometimes people don't agree with that sentiment, and the nurse doesn't approve when that happens.
Some dads like to be the center of attention, and there are times when grandmas want the glory. But the mom is doing the hard work, so she should make the decisions on things like the tv channel and of course medical decisions. Everyone needs to stay focused and remember that the mom and the baby come first in the delivery room.
3 Trying Things That Aren't Safe
A lot of people have ideas on what can make the best birth experience. These days, those ideas can be more and more extreme so that women are going well beyond the idea of a labor ball or a special dance to kick in the contractions.
There are times when the medical staff might balk at the wishes of the mother. They are willing to do a lot — but if the idea is unsafe, it's not going to be allowed in the hospital. One example is allowing a bath after the water has broken or giving birth in a way that the doctor doesn't have good access to the baby.
2 Not All The Comforts Of Home
We get that moms-to-be want to be comfortable in the delivery room. But some moms go too far in their attempts to make the hospital maternity ward feel like home. And nurses aren't too happy when it happens.
Some women like to bring in their own pillow, but we recommend they skip the sheets, especially since they will get really messy. A few photos and decor might be okay, but don't make it distracting. And keep in mind that the environment should be as sterile as possible so that the mom and the baby can avoid germs and be as healthy as possible.
1 Going No. 2 While Pushing Isn't That Big A Deal
One of the biggest worries of moms during the third trimester is whether they might go number two while giving birth. We get it — the idea sounds pretty embarrassing. But nurses really don't look down at moms who push out a little poo before the baby.
This is one of the biggest fears before the delivery, but that just might be because it's more awkward than potentially frightening. But labor and delivery nurses are used to the bodily function. They often clean things up before the mom even notices, and they disagree that moms should worry about it. They know that there is no reason to be ashamed of it happening.