Whitney Port first rose to fame as one of Lauren Conrad's friends and co-workers on the MTV reality show The Hills. However, she's become more well known recently for her honest and often times heartbreaking take on her experience with pregnancy and becoming a mother for the first time.
Port and husband Tim Rosenman welcomed their son, Sonny, in July 2017, but Port's mommy journey has been anything but smooth sailing. The former reality star gained thousands of new fans when she began to speak openly about her disdain for being pregnant and her fears about being a mother.
Her online series, "I love my baby, but..." chronicles Port's experiences with pregnancy and childbirth and everything in between, and she definitely doesn't sugar coat things. She has spoken out about how much she couldn't stand being pregnant, her fears that her husband would love their baby more than her and that she fears she'll never have another child.
The fashionista has earned rave reviews for sharing her honest feelings with fans and followers who were able to finally see a celebrity who shared the darker side of pregnancy. As her son grows older Port's experiences are definitely more positive, but she hasn't stopped sharing. Her are 20 things Whitney Port has shared about her mommy journey that readers just may be able to relate to.
20 She had Severe Morning Sickness
Many women experience morning sickness when they're pregnant, and I think they can all agree that it's the absolute worst! Port suffered from morning sickness for almost her entire first trimester.
“Pregnancy was hard for me — I mean, [in] my first trimester, I was extremely nauseous,” she told PEOPLE. “So I just was losing it every single day.” In her blog for PEOPLE she wrote that she was 'completely unprepared' for morning sickness."I feared some sickness at the beginning but thought that would wear off fast. I was so wrong! The worst part was being hungry all the time, but no food sounding good."
"This was supposed to be a joyous time, and I had heard stories of women who loved being pregnant so was constantly comparing myself to them. I quickly realized this was not going to be the case for me," she wrote.
19 She Was Afraid Her Husband Would Love Their Baby More Than Her
Port has been known for being very real, honest and raw with how her pregnancy affected her not just physically, but emotionally as well. In an essay she wrote for Flare Magazine, the former reality star expressed concern that her new baby would become more important to her husband than she was.
"This is super hard to admit—so please don’t judge me right off the bat—but when I found out I was pregnant, I was rocked by this sudden fear that my husband Timmy would love the baby more than he loved me. It was an insecurity that made me feel ashamed, so much so that it took me weeks to say it out loud. Once I finally mustered up the guts to tell Timmy, he said that if he ever had to choose between the baby and me, he’d always choose me."
18 She Doubted Her Ability To Be A Good Mother
As Port found herself questioning whether her husband would still love her as much as their new baby, and then feeling bad about herself for even wondering such a thing, she also began to question whether she was cut out to be a mother.
"At that point in the pregnancy, I was constantly sick and my hormones were raging. All the normal questions that a mother-to-be has were magnified: Would I be a natural? Would I lose my freedom? Would my body bounce back? Would Timmy think I was a good mom?"
Port's honest discussion about questions so many expectant mothers have, yet don't talk about, has gained her fans from all over the globe.
17 She Struggled With Image Issues While Pregnant
You only need to take one look at Whitney Port to know that she takes her fitness seriously, which is why she had a hard time with her pregnancy weight gain.
Speaking to PEOPLE Port was open about her pregnancy weight gain, saying, "the second trimester comes and you start to put on weight and so you have a bunch of body-image issues,” she explains. “And then the third trimester comes and you feel extremely uncomfortable because you’re so enormous and you’re scared about your life change.”
She wrote on her blog about how difficult it was to come to terms with her ever changing body.
“At first, I must be honest, I had a very hard time coming to terms with my changing body,” she wrote. “I had always prided myself on being healthy from the inside out and it was difficult not labeling my pregnant body ‘fat’. But as time has gone on, I have come to appreciate what my body is ACTUALLY doing.”
16 She Actually HATED Pregnancy
Port's refreshing honesty about hating her pregnancy really resonated with many expectant mothers. She started her own YouTube series titled, "I love my baby but I hate my pregnancy," and her videos have become hugely popular, thanks to her honestly.
"Obviously, hate is a strong word and really polarizing," Port told TODAY. "I got some backlash from my mom, who is very sensitive to how I'm dealing with my pregnancy, and it upset her."
"But I am very candid and honest about the fact that the pregnancy, both physically and emotionally, has not been an easy process for me," she continued. "Dealing with the extra hormones and being very sensitive to everything and feeling outside pressures. And physically, with my changing body, not having control over that... morning sickness, exhaustion, aversion to food, broken blood vessels, bloody noses. All of these things that are not very fun."
15 Breastfeeding Was Very Hard On Her
Breastfeeding isn't easy for a lot of moms, and Port got very real about her less than ideal experience breastfeeding her son. She got very emotional about breastfeeding in a video posted to her YouTube channel. While Port knew that breastfeeding could be difficult, it was something she definitely wanted to try.
“I thought I was doing really well and the nurses said that the latch was good,” Port tearfully recalled. “But after about 24 to 48 hours of doing it, it just started to get so incredibly painful. And we came home and I just hit a breaking point and said, ‘I can’t do this. It feels as though someone is slicing my [chest] with glass.’ "
This is definitely something many women can relate to.
14 Her Son Was Tongue Tied
Part of the reason that Port was having difficulty breastfeeding was that she discovered her son was tongue tied. After seeing her pediatrician to have her son's tongue fixed, Port decided to try breastfeeding again.
“I tried it yesterday morning once he had the procedure done and then I tried it this morning, and it’s just — it’s really painful,” Port said in her vlog through tears. “I’m not sure whether if it’s painful just because I’m getting started again, or if it’s painful because he’s not latching on correctly.”
“I feel like a lot of people are going to tell me to just have patience and try to do it ’cause it’s only been a week. But I just don’t know if it’s something that is going to get better or not,” she went on to explain. “So that’s what I feel anxious about. Like, how much longer am I willing to try it before I just give up on it and just pump and give him the bottles and be okay with it?
13 She Struggled With 'Mom Shaming'
Port states in her video that she felt a sort of pressure to be able to breastfeed and when it wasn't working out for her, she felt shamed because of it even though she was pumping.
“Really, my gut is telling me that if he’s getting the breast milk, that is what matters to me,” she explains. “But I don’t know why — I’ve heard people talk about this pressure from other mothers and other people, and I never thought I would let it get to me.”
“I think I’m a pretty strong person and I go with my gut and I don’t really compare myself to other people or to what other people are doing. And now I’m doing exactly that.”
12 She Had A Hard Time With Her Husband Showing The Baby Affection
Port admitted that she was worried her husband would love her baby more than her, and after her son came those fears once again began to creep in.
"Timmy is a very attentive husband, but after his paternity leave ended, he’d come home from work and immediately go into the baby’s room without so much as a hello to me," she wrote in her essay for FLARE. "At the end of a long day away from his family, I felt as though he was more excited to see the baby than he was to see me. (And here I am conflicted again: As I typed that last sentence, all I could think was, That’s how it should be! The baby is new and precious and Timmy’s missed him all day. Everyone should be so lucky to have as loving a father as him. And yet… I still couldn’t stop myself from feeling insecure.)
I got up the courage to tell him that I was upset by what felt like a dismissal of my presence. Since then, Timmy will check in with me first."
11 Self Care Is Important!
Motherhood can be so stressful that many mothers forget that taking care of themselves is just as important as taking care of their baby. Port knows all too well that self care is a must for her and told Jenni Kayne exactly what she does to ensure she's taking as much care of herself as she is of her son, Sonny.
"It’s so important for moms to take care of themselves to be the best for the children. Something I do to care for myself is to ask for help, because you need that time by yourself. I’ll go on walks by myself, get a massage once a month or once every couple of months, and I have to work out at least twice a week, just so I can feel sane."
10 She Didn't Feel Beautiful While Pregnant
Being the fashionista that she is, most would think that Port would embrace her changing body and rock maternity fashion. And while we all think that Port was absolutely gorgeous during her pregnancy, she wasn't feeling herself as much.
In fact, she described herself as feeling "gross," throughout her pregnancy in a video she posted on her vlog.
"(I always thought) pregnancy was this exciting, beautiful, wonderful, magical thing, until I experienced my own, and it wasn't all of that," Port said. "I was feeling all these negative feelings. I thought, 'What's wrong with me?' Why aren't I more excited? Why aren't I owning this?"
9 One And Done?
Port's journey to motherhood has definitely not been easy, and because of that she's seriously considering only having the one child.
"Before I had Sonny I thought I would have three children," Whitney in one of her vlogs. The reality star has four siblings herself. "Three kids was just always the number in my head, always. Two felt like too few, three just felt like the magic number And I was the third so like, what would life be like without me?"Tearfully she spoke about how her pregnancy experience may have influenced that number for her.
"I was so sick, I was just feeling all the crappy feelings of being pregnant I thought there is no way that I could ever go through this again. I was like well maybe one might be enough for us."
8 She Had A Hard Time Adjusting To Having A Baby
Port has said in the past that she and husband Tim didn't plan their pregnancy, so naturally having a baby meant adjusting to a whole new life and a whole new schedule. Port explained to NBC that the adjustment definitely took some time for both of them.
"The amount of freedom and independence I have. Before a baby my husband and I could make plans, we could travel and we could really work extremely hard on ourselves professionally and in our relationships and now obviously, the baby comes first. So whatever baby needs, always comes first. It’s not as much me time."
7 The 'Mom Guilt' Is Real!
Every mom is fully aware of 'mom guilt' and how all consuming it can be, and Port is no exception. The mom of one explained that she constantly feels the pull of mom guilt no matter what she does.
"I definitely deal with mom guilt all the time; even just leaving my baby at home to come on this work trip I felt a little bit guilty. I was nervous that I was going to get home and he wasn't going to recognize me. But I just continue to tell myself that I’m doing the best that I can, that I’m working this hard for the good of my family and that the baby is going to be okay; he is going to survive and he’s with people that love him. I don't need to be the only one in my baby’s life — that makes things okay."
6 Sleep Training Was A Breeze!
Port experienced a lot of struggles throughout her mommy journey, but thankfully sleep training wasn't one of them. In fact, sleep training for her Port was a walk in the park.
“We only really had to sleep train for one night,” Port told PEOPLE. “Sleep training is a difficult thing that parents really dread and for Sonny, we only had to really enact this certain routine for one night and then he was able to sleep 12 hours a night.”
“I felt like that was a huge mission: accomplished moment,” she adds. “People are very jealous I have a good sleeper.”
5 She Was Insecure About Her Post-Baby figure
Port got real about adjusting to her post baby body on her vlog in a post titled, "I love my baby but I wish my body didn't have to change".
“I ended up gaining 40 lbs., which I feel decent about,” Port said. “I thought I was going to be one of those women that just gained the baby and gained like 25 lbs., but no. I decided to enjoy myself.” “Having a vaginal delivery changes everything down there and that’s just something that’s really not discussed,” she notes. “What it’s actually going to do, and that there’s a really long recovery afterwards.”
“It’s painful and uncomfortable. And along with having to take care of a newborn, you also have a whole other situation to take care of,” Port stated before adding that “Your boobs change a lot.”
4 She Compares Herself To Other Moms On Social Media
It's easy to compare ourselves to other moms, but with social media it's almost impossible to not constantly take note of other moms, especially if you're a celebrity. Port told NBC the one way she has managed to not fall in to the trap of constanly comparing herself to others is by limited the amount of people she follows and ensuring those she does follow give advice she trusts.
“When it comes to questions about your kid, talk to your doctor, talk to other moms you really trust, but try not to get [stressed] by the influx of information and content that we see,” she says. “It will make you insecure about what you are doing and you will not know how to be the best parent to your child.”
3 Life Has Gotten Easier As Sonny Gets Older
While Port struggled a lot through her pregnancy and the early days as a new mom, life has continued to get better as Sonny gets older and as she reflects on the tough times, she knows that everything passes.
"Phases are really short, like the difficulty-with-breastfeeding phase and then the teething phase and then the crawling phase," Port said. "These things seem really [stressful] the first year, but just as they start is kind of as quick as they end.
Port and her husband recently celebrated Sonny's first birthday and are excited to watch their son as he grows up and while there are still struggles they seem to be much more manageable for the reality star.
2 It Was Her Husband's Idea To Start Her Vlog
Port explained to the Huffington Post that it was her husband's idea to begin her successful vlog series "I love my baby but..."
"Honestly, I owe it all to my husband. After I was on reality TV, after that whole phase of my life was over, I really didn’t want to do anything reality TV-related ever again. My husband is a producer and he works in development, and when I was in my first trimester I was really sick, really unhappy, and not that thrilled about my situation. And he said, “Whitney, I know this may not be something you want to do, but we have the camera. Why don’t we start filming what you’re going through? Because I feel like if you’re going through this, you’re not the first person. There has to be so many other people going through this," she said. "So he started filming me, and you can see in the first episode I’m in bed with crusty yogurt around my mouth, totally disheveled. And we put it out there and the response was crazy."
1 She Had Anxiety The First Time She Left The House With Sonny
Port describes taking her son out for the first time as being 'awful.' She says she packed for literally two hours to take her son out on a picnic to celebrate Port's mom's birthday, including three outfit changes, blankets, bibs and 'a million things.'
She said that 'just the preparation alone is enough to just not want to leave.' Wanting to be prepared for every possible situation, she said she packed anything and everything she could think of. She took to her blog to explain just how anxiety filled her first day out was.
"You’re driving on the freeway with your brand new baby in the back and all of a sudden they’re hysterical. You don’t know what to do, you can’t pull over, you think they’re choking, you’re freaking out! Well, hopefully you’ve all been there, cause that was me a couple weeks ago and it scarred me and I need some help! Taking Sonny out has proven to be very scary for me. Not only does the preparation and packing give me massive amounts of anxiety but the amount he hates the car seat is enough for me to never want to leave the house, like EVER!"
Fortunately Port got over that anxiety and now she's enjoying her time out and about with her family.