Most moms have come across a number of women who say that very few things in life can compare with the joy of being a mom, because there's nothing quite like it. Although the nine months leading up to the delivery and the many years that follow have some serious demands on a mom, the pain and the pressure is still not enough to make a woman regret going through the process.
A woman's body is so special in that she can produce and sustain life, a very huge deal that most people often take for granted. Although her man is supposed to be there with her, helping and loving her through every step, she is arguably the most important player in birthing the next generation; a role every woman should be proud of.
Although being a young mom is not easy, some women often make their lives even harder than it is supposed to be. Some of these young women often do some things out of ignorance, while others try to do much more than motherhood requires of them, situations that usually turn out ugly.
Many years back, communities had set up mentorship structures, which would guide the young in society through the most challenging transitions, structures that are fast fading away in today's generation. Here are 20 of the most common things new and young moms do that make their lives harder.
20 Feeling Like They're Doing Everything Wrong
Young moms always beat themselves up when they realize that they've not yet figured out everything concerning motherhood despite being mothers. Many of them think that once they go through the experience, they will automatically know everything there is to be a mom, which is hardly ever the case.
As soon as they bring their babies home, they fast come to the realization that they do not know as much as they thought they did and even feel as if they're doing everything wrong. Young moms, especially first-time moms, should understand that motherhood is an experience in which they learn and figure out what to do on the job. Besides, since everyone makes mistakes, young moms need not beat themselves up or even think that they're doing everything wrong.
19 Trying To Get Their Pre-Pregnancy Bodies Back Too Soon
Some women, especially celebrities, have a reputation of getting their pre-pregnancy bodies back just a few weeks after giving birth. These celebrities have made many young moms feel like they should also get their bodies back within a similar period, which is hardly ever the case. As much as no one out there really expects these women to gain their pre-pregnancy bodies back so soon, some moms end up making their lives so hard trying to do so.
All young moms should remember that the extra lbs they gain is the result of a nine-month pregnancy and they should not expect to get rid of it in a matter of days or even weeks. Their focus should be on living a healthy lifestyle and with time, all the additional lbs will disappear.
18 Stressing Over Buying Everything They See On Baby Lists
Young moms usually end up with so much baby stuff that they have never used or will hardly ever use, which they bought with the help of several baby lists when they were pregnant. Most of these moms were of the idea that the stuff would actually be useful, only to realize that most of the things on such lists are quite the opposite.
The problem is that some moms end up making their lives so hard when they're still trying to buy even more stuff, some of which they can't afford. Making a priority list will help a mom to purchase necessary items, as well as consulting with other moms before buying too much stuff.
17 Not Taking Care Of Themselves
Young moms often find themselves too busy taking care of their little ones that they forget to take care of themselves. Raising a baby is not easy since it requires a mom to give up so much. Moms who hardly ever make time to care for themselves only make their lives even harder.
In order to be a great mom and to enjoy motherhood, young moms need to remember that they also need to take care of themselves first. Taking a shower, wearing amazing outfits, putting on makeup, and going out occasionally is sure to give a young mom a completely new attitude and to renew their energy every other day.
16 Trying To Do Everything In The House While Taking Care Of The Baby
Many young moms are often tempted to think that they can take care of their baby, cook, clean, and even run all the errands they were used to running before they got their newborns. As much as some women have no choice but to do these things because no one else is available to help them out, all these activities are draining.
Wanting to do everything at home while still taking care of the baby properly is sure to make the life of any new mom hard. It is important for a new mom to delegate most of her responsibilities to other people in order for her to focus on her baby, because the wellbeing of the little one, especially in the first few months, should be her priority.
15 Not Training Their Babies To Follow A Sleeping Routine
Being a first-time mom can be amazing and exhausting at the same time. Giving birth and having the privilege of taking care of a baby is amazing, because not every woman gets this special opportunity. However, one of the most exhausting things about caring for a little one is his or her crying episodes throughout the night.
Babies have no other way of telling their caregivers that they're wet, hungry, uncomfortable, or unwell except through crying. Therefore, it is important for moms to develop a sleeping routine for their babies as soon as possible since such routines will make their lives so much easier.
14 Trying To Follow Everyone's Advice
When a young woman is pregnant or has already given birth, many people around her often feel the need to give her advice, regardless of whether she has asked for it or not. Different people will try to teach her how to hold her baby, burp him or her, feed, and even clothe the little one. Depending on whoever is giving the advice, some information can be vital.
However, when it is not consistent with standard practices or even the truth, such advice is sure to make a mom’s life very hard. Therefore, as much as possible, it's always important to consult your doctor before taking any advice too seriously.
13 Comparing Their Baby’s Milestones With Others
It is important for new moms to understand that all babies are different. There are loose guidelines on what ages babies should be sitting down, teething, walking, or even talking but not all babies will fit within such guidelines. Some babies develop early while others are late bloomers and babies in both situations grow up to be amazing people in society.
Young moms often find themselves comparing their babies’ milestones to those of other babies of the same age. Doing so is not only extremely stressful but it also makes these mom's lives much harder. Young moms should avoid such comparisons and focus on raising their kids the best way they know how.
12 Entertaining Visitors After Having A Baby
The birth of a new baby will always attract very many visitors to a new mom's home since close friends and family members want to hold the newborn. As much as receiving such love is great from friends and family, these visitors will often make the lives of these new moms very hard. These moms will often wonder how they can best protect their babies' health, considering that a small infection from a well-intentioned kiss can turn into a big problem.
If new moms must entertain visitors, they should try to keep the visits very short, ask the visitors to wash their hands when they arrive, and politely tell them not to kiss the baby. If any of them has a cold or flu, they should not even hold the baby.
11 Not Consulting With Older Moms
Sometimes, young moms enter into motherhood thinking that they know everything and they can do it all on their own. However, soon after giving birth and taking care of their babies for a few days, such moms discover just how much they need other people to step in and help them throughout the process.
An older and more successful mom can make the life of a young mom very easy because she has gone through many of the things the new mom is going through, and can, therefore, point her in the right direction. A wonderful example of an older mom that the new mom can go to for help is the newborn's grandmother.
10 Being Overly Cautious
First-time moms usually handle their babies with extreme caution, which is not always a bad thing. Such care and concern are good because these moms know that their babies are delicate and need all the care they can get. However, some moms can take this care and concern too far, until it makes their lives too hard.
New moms should enjoy their new lives as moms, and they will only be able to do this if they exercise the right amount of caution. Babies are more resilient than we give them credit for. In addition, before moms know it, their babies will grow up so fast and start playing outside with other kids.
9 Not Preparing For The Baby In Advance
Some moms often don't shop for their babies early enough, because they want to do most of the shopping on the very last month of their pregnancy. However, since they are often too tired at the time, they end up not preparing well for the arrival of the new one. Some even procrastinate until after the baby is born.
Handling a newborn is a 24-hour job and adding shopping and fixing the baby’s room can make any mom’s life difficult, especially if they don’t have help. It's always good for young moms to prepare for the baby in advance and avoid such stress. It is always a good idea for moms to do most of the baby’s shopping during their second trimester when they are not so tired.
8 Not Managing Their Own Expectations
Soon-to-be moms often dream of how exciting their lives will be when their babies eventually arrive. However, as is the case in most situations in life, reality hardly ever plays out exactly as people's dreams are because things can turn out surprisingly good or bad.
Therefore, it is important for new moms to live in the present and forget what is not working out exactly as they had hoped; otherwise, their lives are sure to be so much harder. If a new mom is feeling as if her current state is not what she expected, she should immediately look for a shoulder to lean on or a support group to keep her going.
7 Pushing Their Partners Away
In most cases, young moms will find themselves so busy taking care of the baby that they forget that they can actually ask their men for help. Young moms need a lot of support from friends and family, but most of them forget that their partners can often be the best support especially when they are near.
However, some moms hardly ever realize this and they end up pushing their men away instead. It is important for moms to realize that their partners can play a crucial role in relieving some of their exhaustion and instead of pushing them away, teach them how they can participate in taking care of their babies.
6 Trying To Give Their Children The World
Most, if not all moms want to give their kids everything, including the things they never had when they were growing up. Those who manage to do so often develop a sense of satisfaction, which is great. However, not all moms manage to give their babies everything they wanted, and such moms often make their lives harder by beating themselves up over it.
What young moms need to know is that raising a baby is expensive and as long as they are doing it to the best of their ability, that is all that matters. Babies hardly ever care about some things, because most of them are just happy to have their mom's attention.
5 Not Accepting Change
Even after carrying the baby for nine months, some young moms find it difficult to accept that they are now mothers. They want to live the lifestyle they used to before the baby came, which might not be practical. It is very hard for new moms to keep going out with friends or even go on long trips just to have fun.
Taking care of a newborn baby is a full-time job, and this means that new moms have to sacrifice most of the things they love doing for the sake of the baby. Accepting and embracing this new change is the first step to enjoying motherhood. Social lives can always resume when the baby is grown.
4 Frustration With The Baby
Moms need to have a lot of patience when taking care of their babies. This is because listening to a baby cry constantly can be frustrating but that’s the only way they know how to express what they are going through. Babies often do many things that can frustrate moms including soiling or even vomiting on freshly changed clothes.
When caring for a baby begins to be frustrating, it is a clear indication that a mom needs to take a break. Furthermore, a mom should not let a baby's actions frustrate her, because if she takes such actions to heart, she will only make her life unnecessarily hard.
3 Putting The Baby In Another Room
Many parents are always excited about setting up the baby’s room, and they usually do this a few months before the baby arrives. However, when the baby finally arrives, the couple quickly realizes that it's easier to just have their baby sleeping with them in the same room. Therefore, some moms can end up stressing over the fact that their pretty nursery rooms are not as functional as they thought.
Although some studies claimed that babies sleep better and are safer in their own rooms, making endless trips to another room to monitor the baby every few hours forces many parents to ignore such studies. However, moms should make decisions based on their babies' best interests.
2 Not Using Pacifiers
Some moms are afraid of giving their babies pacifiers because they believe that when their newborns get used to having them in their mouths, they might show preference to the pacifier over their nipples. In order to try and prevent such an occurrence, mothers should make sure that their babies are feeding well before they give them the pacifier.
However, not using a pacifier can make a new mom's life hard, because pacifiers often soothe fussy babies, offer temporary distractions, and at times help the babies fall asleep faster. Therefore, if a mom wants to have a much easier life, she should definitely allow her baby to suckle a pacifier.
1 Caring Too Much About What Other People Think
Young moms may constantly worry about how other people in society perceive them. Everyone has his or her own expectations of how new mothers should behave and take care of their babies, a situation that is sure to make these women uncomfortable. It is not possible to meet everyone's expectations, and even trying to do so will make a new mom's life really hard.
One of the greatest challenges new moms often face is the dilemma of whether to breastfeed their babies in public or not. Even though every decent human being knows that the baby has a right to receive nourishment at any time regardless of location, some people seem to have a different opinion. However, a new mom should only do what is right for her baby as long as it is within the law.