Many new couples hardly want to have more than one child when they're at the peak of their productive lives, only for them to reconsider their decision years later when there's little they can do.
Couples often face so many challenges when they're starting their lives together that they end up making plans based on their situations at the time, and ignore all hope that things can change for the better. Sometimes, couples only discover later on that they could have afforded that big family they wanted.
Although it's also not wise to throw all caution to the wind and have as many children as soon as possible without considering the present situation, couples have to tread carefully. Young mothers who want to have many children as fast as they can so they can later focus on themselves after taking care of their children have a lot to consider. Here are 20 things young moms need to consider if they want to have many children as soon as possible.
20 Ability To Feed A Big Family
Having a big family as soon as possible means that mom will start giving birth to babies every other year for her to achieve this goal. Children always bring joy to any couple, but moms should consider the cost implications of having a large family on her and her spouse's budget.
Food shopping for a large family is no joke and preparing the meals for a large family is more challenging than for a small one, since moms will have to cook 2-3 meals a day. Furthermore, with a large family, it is often difficult to order takeout or even go out for dinner regularly, especially if you do not have deep pockets.
19 How Their Spouses Feels About It
Considering how a spouse feels about having a big family is important. Moms should not make such decisions on their own because it will be stressful especially when their spouses are not on the same page as them. Some spouses don’t want more children while others will be thrilled at the thought of more. Talking about it clears such issues.
Moms should always ensure that they communicate with their significant others why they want a big family so that they can both see how they can compromise. If the spouse does not want a big family, it is usually advisable to give him time and revisit that conversation in the future.
18 Their And Their Future Kids' Wellbeing
A mom who has a child and is considering increasing the size of her family already knows the struggle that comes with pregnancy and childbirth. She should consider if she is ready to endure that several times and if she had previous complications, she should consult her gynecologist on how to achieve her goals of a big family.
Moms also need to consider if they have any genetic issues that can be passed down to the children. Having a child with such issues might not be what potential moms want to deal with. Consulting with a doctor on the chances of passing down such issues should be done before considering getting a big family.
17 How They Want To Space Their Kids
If a couple has agreed on having a big family, it should plan how it wants to space out the children. There are a lot of financial benefits of having children within a period of two years or less. If a couple has a child, by the time the next baby arrives, moms usually have all the supplies needed for the new baby. In addition, the house is already child-friendly and hiring nannies to babysit two or more kids will be more economical.
Bigger space means there is less chaos in the house but a major drawback is that the kids might not be able to do similar activities together. Also, career moms should also consider if closely spaced maternity leaves will bring issues with their bosses and their work performance.
16 How Will Their Child Handle A New Sibling?
Moms with one or more children should also consider if their children want bigger siblings (that’s if they are big enough to understand). Most children above five years will be happy to have a smaller brother or sister or they may feel betrayed. How the child reacts to news of a new baby depends on their age.
Moms need to prepare their first child on how his or her life will change on the arrival of another baby. He or she may adjust to her new sibling beautifully or act out trying to get your attention that's now split between her and baby number two. A firstborn under two years will, of course, not be able to fully understand what is happening and it will be easier for moms because the child will hardly remember how it used to be being an only child.
15 Will They Make Time For Each Child?
A big family comes with its own challenges, most moms really want all their children to feel special and loved but with a big family, it is usually difficult to give every child ample attention while you have others waiting for you. As a mother, learning how to be creative in this area will help a lot.
Do different activities with your children based on what they like in order to spend individual time with each. On the plus side, children with siblings will always have each other especially if they are close in age. Siblings usually step in when the parents are not in a position to.
14 How Is Their Living Situation?
Moms need to consider if their current home will be able to accommodate a big family. They may need to move to a bigger home, with more rooms and ample space for their future kids to play in. This is possible if you can afford it, since moving into a bigger home might not be economical for some couples because the move might leave them financially strapped.
Buying or taking a mortgage for a house can strain a couple’s finances leaving them with little or no money to expand the family. Talking to your spouse on what will work best for you is vital especially before having the kids. Leasing can be a temporary solution.
13 Will They Choose To Be Career Women Or Stay At Home Mom?
Before starting a big family, moms should consider their future. Some would want to continue with their careers after having babies, some will take on part-time jobs, and others will quit their jobs to be full-time moms. It is important to make this decision before starting a big family.
Having several children will be a handful and some mothers will struggle juggling a job and being a mother, although others will handle the two flawlessly. Others sometimes want a career life but often feel guilty leaving their children when their maternity leave is over. Also, before making the decision, moms should consider if the family can afford to live comfortably on daddy's salary alone.
12 How To Save On Costs
One of the benefits of having a big family is that the couple might be eligible for government programs that offset some of the costs of expanding a family. While having children comes with a lot of expenses, some of these expenses can be turned into credits and exemptions saving the couple on a lot of taxes.
Talking to your financial advisor or accountant will help you know how much you can save as a result of having children. Parents can claim an expanded child tax credit, which gives a dollar for dollar reduction on taxes owed or may be eligible for the earned income tax credit thanks to the babies.
11 Whether To Hire Nannies Or Not
If you choose to be a career wife, you might want to consider how and at what cost you can find help with the children. Having several children requires moms to either be home full time, to hire nannies to watch the kids, or to request family members to come over to help with babysitting.
Moms are often faced with the challenge of finding the right person to come into their homes. Also, hiring a nanny comes with a cost. She can either be part-time or full-time. As a mom, you want to make sure that you are leaving your children in the hands of a responsible and trustworthy person. Looking for trusted agencies or referrals from fellow mothers can help you land a good nanny.
10 Will A Big Family Change Their Lifestyle?
A mother’s lifestyle automatically changes when she gets more kids. This is because children control their moms' schedules to the point that she can have no control over what she does and when she does it. Moms might have a little freedom with one child but after adding two, three, or four more, taking care of children becomes their full-time job.
Life changes for parents having several kids, they change their group of friends and start associating more with families that have many kids. Traveling for such families becomes hectic because they cannot just hop into their cars and go for a road trip, they have to plan for even the shortest trip days or even weeks in advance.
9 Their Reasons For Wanting A Big Family
Mothers should always ask themselves why they want a big family before going ahead with their plans. Some might be doing it for the wrong reasons or are feeling pressured to doing so. They might want a big family for fun since kids are fun to have around. Others want more so that their first child gets playmates and learns how to share and be social.
Moms should always want to expand their families for the right reasons. They should do so because they feel they can nurture and raise them to become the best that they can be. If done for the wrong reasons, they might end up not being the best they can be for their children.
8 Are They Already Good At Being Moms?
Before having more children, moms need to consider whether they are good mothers to the child or children they currently have or not. These moms should consider whether they loved raising their first child or whether they are still struggling to raise them. Also, they should consider if they are ready to deal with the problems that came up raising their first child and what they're planning to do differently the second or third time around?
Raising a big family is not like raising one child, because it will mean that several more people will start depending on the couple. More children come with a lot of responsibility, so young moms should be in a position to step up to the challenge and to nurture and care for each one of the children.
7 How Much Stress Can They Handle?
Raising children, especially when they follow each other closely, is stressful and any mom should consider first if they are ready for the stress. The stress of raising children can lead to poor health for mom because her priority becomes the children and she forgets her own needs. Many moms with many young children barely find time to have a decent meal or even take showers, because they're usually busy trying to feed their babies and washing them.
Parents need to prepare themselves for the sleepless nights, the emotions that come with having many babies, and of course, the financial strains. Raising multiple birth children can be costly, exhausting, and physically and emotionally draining and any parent needs to be ready and prepare for it.
6 Can They Afford A Big Family?
It is important for couples to consider how stable their finances are before they make the decision of expanding the family. Regardless of the source of their money, having a stable financial foundation is crucial for any big family. Financial stability can result from having a stable job, a disposable income, savings, or having an emergency fund in place.
It is common for people to have good jobs but then again issues come up and they end up losing their jobs, therefore, planning for the worst is a wise thing to do. New parents must try their level best to have an income other than their salaries just in case, they both have to leave their jobs for whatever reason.
5 Will Their Health Insurance Meet Their Needs?
Monthly clinics, prenatal prescriptions, scans, and the costs of giving birth are some of the expenses mothers incur before the arrival of the little one. Having several children will mean that a couple will have to incur all these costs with every pregnancy. It is good for mothers to consider if their health insurance will meet such costs.
Maternity packages can get out of control without a good policy. Even after birth, a good health insurance will cover a beneficiary's check-ups and sick visits. Insurance reduces a lot of financial burdens to new families. It is good to know beforehand if your current plan covers both parents and children’s needs completely and economically.
4 Do They Have Long-Term Saving Goals?
Parents planning for a large family as soon as possible need to consider a long-term saving plan. They need to prioritize and plan for the future. If they want their children to attend private schools, what saving plan should they put in place? If they want to save for college funds, how much should they start putting aside every month?
Starting a savings plan routine early before the children are grown reduces on the anxiety and worry of making future tuition payments on time. Also, having a rainy day fund set aside for anticipated emergencies is important. With several kids, there’s no way of telling if parents will have the income to pay for unexpected expenses.
3 Available Leave Options At Their Work Place
Parents need to consider what parental leave options their employers give before expanding the family. If they already have children, they have an idea of what to expect in the future. If not, moms need to know how much time their employers will give them and how much of it they will still receive a salary. You may find out that you are entitled to 12 months’ parental leave but it is unpaid.
Choose what you can afford. Most moms return to work as early as 12 to 24 weeks postpartum depending on their employers. Moms planning on having kids close together should find out if their current employers are comfortable with the close parental leave breaks.
2 Can They Handle The Responsibilities Of A Big Family?
A big family comes with a lot of responsibilities and all moms should prepare for this beforehand. Some of the responsibilities include nurturing and grooming the kids, cooking 2-3 meals a day for the family, cleaning the house, doing laundry, and taking the kids to school or to a doctor’s appointment.
In addition, moms are also in charge of solving the conflicts between siblings and they have to keep teaching their children to grow up the right way, especially where dads are not around. These responsibilities go on until the kids are grown and are able to help with some of the duties. Moms should really consider if they are ready for all the responsibilities before making the decision to start expanding their families.
1 Are They Willing To Drop Date Nights With Their Spouses?
Moms should consider whether they're ready to give up or reduce on date nights with their spouses or not because getting more children means exactly that. Every couple desires to spend quality time alone or in a romantic location together with friends, but such dates usually make no sense when one or both of these lovebirds are too tired.
Moms should know that having kids does not mean they should neglect their roles at home, it only means that they must develop a good plan of how to balance being a wife and being a good mom. Therefore, moms should work together with their significant others to come up with a plan on how to handle the kids and their relationship, if they do decide to expand their family.