If there's anyone who has good reason to complain about how hard they work, it's a mom. The hours are long, the pay is nonexistent, and the breaks are few and far between. A good venting session might make a mom feel better about how frustrating motherhood can be at times, but sadly, some women keep their feelings all bottled up because so many people are quick to judge.
But here's the thing: you can complain about how hard it is to be a mom, while still being an absolutely fantastic mother who loves her kids to the moon and back. Feeling unhappy or unfulfilled or even just bored at times doesn't take away from your parenting skills, no matter what the haters say. And when you confess some of your feelings about motherhood like the women on this list did using the Whisper app, you just might find that there are plenty of other moms who feel the exact same way, and you are definitely not alone. There are tons of other moms out there who are also feeling exhausted, angry, and unappreciated at times.
Here are 20 confessions from fed-up moms about the trials and tribulations of raising kids.
20 Single Moms Can't Get A Break
Being a mother is an incredibly demanding job, but being a single mother takes it to a completely different level. While most moms think of themselves as having a 24/7 job, if you've got a coparent to help you out you do get a little bit of a break— even if it's just a few minutes here and there. But without a co-parent to split kid duties, single moms are forced to see to every single one of their kid's needs, day and night, without anyone to give them a break. It's hard to imagine how difficult that must be, though single moms everywhere somehow manage to get it done. That's because when you know you're the only dependable parent your child has, you know you can't afford to slack on any of your duties, because no one else is going to step in and help you out.
19 Missing Her Career
There seems to be an assumption that stay at home moms either never had a decent job to speak of, or were only all too happy to give it up in order to stay home and "relax" all day. For many moms (maybe even most), that couldn't be further from the truth. Some women walked away from careers they loved because it was the best decision for their family, not because they thought being at home with their kids would be less work (God help anyone who was under that delusion). Missing your career doesn't mean you love your kids any less, or that you resent the choice you made. Hopefully, this mom can feel nostalgia without feeling outright regret, and who knows, maybe when her kids are older she'll end up back in the workforce.
18 Envious Of Other Kids
Note to moms everywhere: comparing your kids to anyone else's is rarely going to make you happy. There will always be kids that seem to be better behaved, or more respectful, or who do better in school. But it's important to remember that sometimes what we see in public is not a true indication of what's going on behind closed doors, and the parents of those perfect kids who seem to have it altogether just might be going as bonkers as you are. No parent gets to raise a child without going through their fair share of stress and aggravation. It's just not possible. The mom behind this post surely loves her kids and wouldn't trade them for the world, but would probably be better off if she could remember that there's no such thing as a perfect child.
17 Questioning Life Choices
Being a stay at home isn't everyone's first choice. While some moms would kill to be able to quit their jobs and be home with their kids all day, other moms sacrifice their careers and ambitions in order to do what they feel is best for their family. There's no right or wrong decision, but as this confession shows us, it seems the grass will always be greener on the other side. Some stay at home moms find that the life they dreamed about with their kids isn't exactly the one they got in reality. The days are often a blur of feeding, changing, and cleaning up after little ones, and things get even crazier when there's a sick kid to tend to. Some days, it's enough to make a mom want to run back to her old boss and beg for her job back.
16 Not Happy With The Mom Bod
Motherhood wreaks havoc on a woman's body. And as this confessor points out, sometimes those changes seem to defy our understanding of anatomy. How do you gain weight but end up with smaller breasts? How come some of us get stretch marks and some of us don't? Why do some women snap back in an instant while others spend the rest of their lives carrying around baby weight? The mom bod is a mysterious thing, and if there's one piece of advice I hope more women are able to embrace, it's that you should do your best to be healthy but also accept that the changes your body has gone through are the result of a pretty badass, miraculous accomplishment: making a baby. What's a flat tummy compared to the miracle of life?
15 Sometimes It's A Thankless Job
For all the work they do, moms rarely get the recognition the deserve— whether it's from their partners, their kids, or even just society at large. Being a mom often requires tons of sacrifice, which can mean anything from giving up a career to never spending money on yourself to never having a moment alone. It's stressful and challenging, but a little love and appreciation from the family makes it all worth it. When that love and appreciation isn't being expressed on a regular basis, however, it can make a mom feel weary and beaten down. Something as simple as hearing an "I love you" or "I'm thankful for you" or "I don't know what we'd do without you" can make a mom remember why she's doing all this work— out of love for her family.
14 The Baby Stage Is Crazy Hard
Until you have a child, it's truly impossible to wrap your mind around just how time consuming they are. You know you'll be constantly busy and sleep deprived, but you may not realize that that might mean some days you'll be running on minutes rather than hours of sleep, or that some weeks you'll forget when you last showered. Combine all that with the postpartum hormones, and it's a wonder any mom makes it through the first few months with a new baby with their sanity still intact. It's totally understandable that this confessor feels guilty about it, because moms are sometimes led to believe that their lives should be completely fulfilled by their kid. But she really shouldn't— I don't know any moms who couldn't absolutely relate to what she felt at some point.
13 Life Before Motherhood
When you're a mom, every single decision you make and every single moment of your time is dominated by your child. If you were used to being spontaneous and doing things like socializing or traveling on a whim before you had kids, or even just being able to pop out to get your hair or nails done whenever you felt like treating yourself, those days are definitely over now. You can still do those things of course, but it'll involve way more planning and coordinating and shelling out money for a babysitter. And of course, it won't be quite the same because you'll probably be plagued with guilt for doing something without your kid, or daring to spend money on yourself. But rest assured, you deserve it, and it's still worth letting yourself feel like you did before kids, even if it's just for a few hours.
12 No Help From Daddy
No one but a single mom truly understands what it's like to be a single mom, but some women come pretty darn close thanks to slacker dads who don't help out with the kids or around the house. After a long day with kids, or a long day at work and then a long night with kids, a mom is understandably spent. Seeing dad lounging on the couch instead of helping out with homework, starting dinner, or getting the kids into a bath would be infuriating, but there are definitely men out there who feel like their job is just to bring home the bacon and everything else is mom's responsibility (even if she also works and brings home plenty of bacon herself). Hopefully this poster's lazy partner will get his act together ASAP.
11 She Never Wanted This
Even moms who try for months or even years to get pregnant and feel nothing but joy about the fact that they finally achieved their dream of having a child will tell you that they have incredibly hard days where they don't love being a parent. So imagine how tough it would be for someone who didn't dream of having a child, and in fact didn't have much choice at the matter. You may say that the mom behind this Whisper confession made her choice when she decided to have sex, but at just 14 years old, how could she have really known what she was even getting into? It's sad to think how her life has been effected by that, and how her child's will be effected by knowing that their mother wasn't at all prepared to be a mom.
10 Feeling Left Out
Friends who don't have kids can't truly understand what life is like for a mom, and that goes double when the mom in question is at home full-time with her kids. A mom who spends all of her days and nights at the beck and call of her children is definitely going to need a night out once in a while to reclaim her life and have a little fun, but sometimes friends can forget that. They may assume it's not worth it to include a mom in plans because she won't be able to make it, or they may simply feel like she won't be a fun companion anymore because her life is so different. Neither of those things has to be true, however, and friendships don't need to end just because someone has kids.
9 No More Freedom, No More Clean House
Missing the freedom that you have when you don't have kids seems to be a common complaint from moms. For those wondering when they'll get it back, I hate to say it but I think the answer might be never. Once you become a mom, you're always tethered to your child. Even when your child is grown, you'll spend sleepless nights worrying about them, or missing them, or stressing out about them. Whether your child is young or older, every decision you make is probably influenced by them for the rest of your life, whether it's where you live, how you spend your money, or what you do in your spare time. A clean house on the other hand? You might just have a shot at getting that back... once they're old enough to move out.
8 Feeling Unfulfilled
Society often leads us to believe that having kids is the be all and end all of a woman's achievements, and that becoming a mom should make our lives feel complete. While most moms would probably agree that having children is indeed wonderful and rewarding, it's also just one component (albeit a major one) of a happy life. A mom should also be able to find joy and fulfillment outside of her family, whether it's from a career or a hobby or even a social circle. Without those things, getting through day to day life can be a slog. You may feel guilty spending any time or energy on anything other than your kids, but you'll surely be happier for it. The mom who wrote this confession clearly doesn't have a passion to follow outside of her kids, and she's sorely missing it.
7 The Exhaustion Is No Joke
As someone who's always loved to sleep in as late as possible as well as take plenty of naps, I was not at all looking forward to the sleep deprivation that came along with motherhood. It truly is one of the hardest things about being a mom in my opinion, because a lack of sleep can leave you feeling drained not just physically but also mentally and emotionally. I often remind myself that in just a few short years my kids will be much more independent and then I'll probably miss all the times they ended up in my bed, keeping me awake by kicking me or head butting be all night. But when you're in the thick of it, like the mom who made this confession, it's hard to see past your exhaustion. I'd recommend hiring a babysitter and going somewhere to do nothing but sleep.
6 So Many Sacrifices
Sacrifice comes up time and time again with moms. Whether it's your career, your body, or your sanity, you'll inevitably feel like you have to give up something you used to hold dear for the sake of your kids. It's incredibly tough, and not all woman are able to make those sacrifices without feeling understandably resentful. The mom who wrote this confession is struggling mightily with what she's given up, and it sounds like it's taking a huge toll on her mentally and physically. I think it's important to remember though, that sometimes, we make sacrifices because it's what we feel like we're "supposed" to do, and it's what society expects. But if that sacrifice isn't in a mom's best interest, then it's not really in the child's best interest either.
5 The Kids Come First
Here's one I think every mom on the planet can probably relate to. The mother who made this confession is tired of putting her needs last, which is something that she's probably been doing since the day she found she was expecting. Many moms would probably tell you that their needs rank third in the household (at best), behind their kids and their partner. Some households just couldn't continue to function without mom constantly looking out for everyone else and anticipating all their wants and needs, while putting her own on the back burner. It's a vital job, but it's one that's incredibly draining and often goes unnoticed. It sounds like this mom is also dealing with a slacker dad on top of everything else, which makes the situation even more difficult.
4 Missing Out On Her Youth
Having a kid at an early age has some major points in its favor. Your body might be able to bounce back faster, you'll have more energy to play with them, and you'll still be relatively young yourself by the time your kid is grown and out of the house. But there are also some major drawbacks to becoming a parent early as well, as this mom has clearly found out. The younger you are when you have your first child, the less you've experienced in life. That could mean that parenthood takes you out of school, keeps your career from getting off the ground, or prevents you from traveling or seeing the world or accomplishing other things you've long dreamed about. The unconditional love of a child can make up for much of that, but it still may leave you with regrets like this poster's.
3 Not What She Expected
Some moms think the baby stage— when your little one can't run away from you, talk back to you, or do much of anything other than eat, sleep, and poop— is the easy part of parenthood, only to find out the hard way that it can be just as incredibly challenging as any other stage. The mom behind this post seems to be dealing with that harsh reality— newborns don't just cuddle and coo all day, and in fact they can be as demanding as toddlers even though they can't even hold their own head up yet. The baby stage does end quickly, but for better or worse, it's replaced by the toddler stage. Any mom who's got a kiddo in their terrible two's or their three-nage years could probably tell this poster that someday she'll be looking back on the baby stage with longing.
2 The Terrible Twos Change Everything
They call them the terrible two's for a very good reason, as this mom seems to have found out the hard way. Those first couple years of a child's life go way too quickly, and before you know it the baby that once loved nothing more but to snuggle and play peek-a-boo morphs into a strong-willed toddler who seems determined to break your spirit by getting into any mischief possible. For some unlucky parents, the terrible two's start well before the second birthday, only to lead straight into the bratty "threenager" years on the third birthday. If you're in the same boat as this mom, try to remember that it's just a phase and they will grow out of it eventually and your sweet, loving child will return— even it doesn't feel like it now.
1 Struggling To Care For A Disabled Child
This might just be the most heartbreaking confession on this list. I can't imagine what it's like to be the parent of a disabled child. They have to sacrifice so much to meet their child's needs, from their time to their money to their energy (and any one of them would tell you it's more than worth it, I'm sure). But while we often look at a disabled child and focus on trying to make their life as normal as possible and make sure they don't miss out on doing things other kids get to do, we rarely stop to think that the parents are in the same boat. While the mom who wrote this confession wouldn't trade her son for the world, she can't help but feel sad about how different his life and their family would be if he weren't disabled.