25 Of The Most Unfortunate Baby Names That Are Actually Being Used Today

What is in a name? Well, everything really. A name is what defines us as a person. It can have a huge impact on who we become and how we are seen by the world around us. When we think about it this way, it is a huge responsibility to new parents everywhere. They are in charge of giving their little one a name that they will carry for the rest of their life. Well, maybe.

After reading through this list, everyone may be grateful that one is able to legally change their name if they want to. I am sure all these children are glad that once they turn 18 they can go down to city hall and make probably one of the best decisions of their life. No one is a stranger to odd and unique names, it seems to be a trend for all new parents. They are constantly on the search for that perfect, unique and uncommon name.

We see it often with celebrities who are not afraid to give their children names that are just a little outside of the box. Names like Apple, North (when the last name is West) and Homer have all graced our presence, and it seems that celebrities are able to get away with it. Trust me, after this list, those names will all seem perfectly acceptable.

I am asking everyone to trust me here, because these baby names that are being given to children are from actual sources. I did not just make up words or go through random things on this list. I wish I did. I also ask the reader to bear with me, because unlike other baby-name articles I may not be able to find any places of origins or meanings for these 15 (very) unfortunate baby names.

25 Hashtag

I knew I was going to lose a few readers on this first name, I mean who would name their child Hashtag. Well, the truth is there are people out there who are naming their child Hashtag. A Hashtag is an electronic symbol (# - this is it) that is also called the number key and the pound button. It has more recently been used on social media, specifically Twitter, to start a trending topic.

The baby’s parents must be avid Twitter fans to give their child this most honoured Twitter name. I just don’t know who will be able to take this person seriously when they grow up. That is what a lot of people don’t think about when they name their children, is that one day these children will have to grow up and apply for some pretty big adult jobs and mortgages. #UnfortunateNameSorryKid.

24 Shay’Lenn Heaven Nevaeh Hope

Well this name is a mouthful, and it may have not made the list had it not been for the mess of middle names here. The name Shay’Lenn is OK, it is cute even, but what is going on with the rest of it? Heaven is a little out there, but I get it. What makes it odd is that they then decided to put heaven in there again, but backwards. The name Nevaeh is actually growing in usage, but it is also a name a lot of people just can not stand. Possibly because it is becoming too common.

Then they had to add hope on there. Is that the last name, or did they give their child a hyphenated name as well as three middle names. Two middle names are usually considered a lot, and is enough for anyone to remember, but when you add a third name in there you are just asking for too much here.

23 Phelony

When I first see this name, I think of the word phlegm, but that is not what this word is portraying at all. The name is pronounced like ‘felony’, the ph makes an f sound in this name. I mean, you can spell it however you want but the word is still going to sound the same as a criminal act. If we follow the belief that a name helps to define who you are, then these parents are probably just setting their child up for a life full of crime and prison.

There are some things in the world that you wish you could just have the answers for, and this is one of them. I suddenly wish with all my being that I could just sit down with these parents and ask the reason behind this name. I know sometimes people name their children after a family member long gone, but I highly doubt they had a great-great-grandfather who carried this name.

22 Facebook (I Swear This List Is Real)

You are probably at the point in this list where you are sure that I am just making words up and saying that people name their kids this. Well, if you weren’t at that point yet, I am sure you are now. You are probably thinking that there is no way a parent in their right mind would call their child Facebook. I swear to you; this list is real, and these are all real names that are being used today.

We get it, Facebook is a big deal for a lot of people. It passes the time, it allows us to catch up with old friends and family and gives everyone a platform. If you love Facebook this much, please just buy a T-shirt. We don’t need to name our children this. Even Mark Zuckerberg didn’t name his child Facebook. I do wonder though if Facebook and Hashtag are related?

21 Abcde

What in the world is this? Sadly, this is a name that I have heard a lot through my numerous searches and conversations in mommy groups on Facebook. Is this even a name? It really is just the first 5 letters in the alphabet, and if you think there is some trick in how this name is pronounced, then you would be wrong. The name is literally pronounced A-B-C-D-E. It is literally just pronounced the way you would say the alphabet.

What we don’t know is why a person would name their child this. Maybe they want to give them a head start in saying and spelling their name? Something that would make it a little easier. No matter what the reason is, it is probably going to sound a little funny when this guy (or gal) graduates high school and they announce that Abcde is about to go across the stage to get his diploma.

20 Alucard

This is a name that is also a bit of a riddle. When you first look at it, you are probably wondering how you pronounce it. Well, I would think it is pronounced Al – you-card. Although, with these names I don’t think anyone should be making assumptions. The pronunciation is not the issue with this name though and is not the riddle. I’ll give you a clue, read the name backwards. I’ll give you a second, go back and read it backwards.

That’s right, this name is Dracula spelt backwards. It in some way makes some sort of sense now, only because before it just looked like random letters put together. Which wouldn’t be so strange, as there are a lot of parents out there who seem to just be making up names for their children. With all the lists and books out there with baby names in it, you really don’t need to be making up your own name it won’t go over well.

19 Chairish

Little beautiful girl standing near the Christmas tree. Girl in a white sweater and a skirt. The concept of New Year gifts

I am having a hard time with this name. Is it just a ‘unique’ spelling of the word Cherish? Did they choose a different spelling because they want to place a unique spin on it? Or are they implying their child is similar to a piece of furniture you sit on? I am sure it is another way to spell the word cherish, but I wonder why they went that way? Was the name Cherish just too much for them? Too out there? See, there are so many questions with this name.

I wonder how many chair jokes this child will have to encounter as they grow up? Probably a lot. The problem is that parents are constantly trying to outdo other parents and come up with the most unique name of all. If the name is not unique enough, they will just spell it a different way.

18 Ikea

I don’t know about you, but the only Ikea I know is the Swedish store that is amazing. It is a popular furniture and home décor store that one could easily get lost in. Someone apparently loves this store so much that they decided to pay homage to it by naming their child after it. Is it a form of advertising? Are they being paid royalties for their child being a walking advertisement? These are the things I wonder.

Now, I looked and did my research to see if the word Ikea had a great inner meaning, but it doesn’t. The word Ikea is just a made-up word comprised of the name of the store’s creator, the farm he grew up on and the village where that farm was. I had so much hope for this name, that it had some deep and important meaning in Sweden, but it doesn’t. It is literally just the store.

17 Cherry-blue

You know those Facebook posts you come across that ask you what your child’s name would be if you had to name them after a craving you had when pregnant? Well, this name reminds me of that. Did mom crave a Cherry-blue slushy when they were expecting? This would be the only explanation for this name, and it wouldn’t even be a good one.

It is OK to love something, but that doesn’t mean you have to pay homage to it in the form of your child’s name. They didn’t ask for this. Surely, they will be given all sorts of Cherry-blue treats when they grow up, and the worst kind of fate would be if they end up hating that flavour. After all the bullying, I am sure they will hate anything related to cherries or the colour blue.

16 Ya’Hyness

This one made me laugh. Not like an inside laugh, but a chuckle out loud. I am sure this is a play on ‘your highness’ a title given to a member of a royal family. This is bound to set a kid up for a complex. Unless they are the daughter of a queen or princess, then they are not royal. No matter how much they are your little princess, they are not a real princess and they have to work just as hard as everyone else to get what they want in life.

It also kind of reminds me of another word for your buttocks, if you know what I mean? I also don’t mean to be insensitive if some of these names are truly cultural, although I highly doubt it. If there was any inclination that there was a cultural meaning behind any of these names they would not be on this list. Again, I highly doubt it.

15 Ninja Qwest

This is a name that seems like it would belong to a celebrity couple, but it does not. It is a name that people are using for their son (or daughter – I have no idea if this name is gender neutral, because I question everything I ever knew about names). Ninja on its own is a pretty unfortunate name, and a bit bizarre. When you add Qwest beside it as a middle name it is now a thing and not a person. They couldn’t even spell Qwest the right way, which makes us think they knew what they were doing but wanted to try and hide it.

This name makes me think that there really should be a list of names that you can not name your children. Names that are just cruel and could be classified as child abuse. OK, that may be a bit harsh, but imagine all of the teasing this kid is going to get.

14 Adorabell

We are only assuming that the parents were going for a unique version of the word adorable. All babies are adorable, we can not deny that, but naming your baby that may be going a bit far. Do you think your baby is the most adorable of them all? Of course, you do, but every other parent feels that way about their own child. I fear that we are trying for a level of uniqueness that is unreachable and we have crossed over into ridiculous.

The only way to possibly salvage this name is if they call her Adora as a short form. Adora does not immediately make you think that their actual first name is Adorabell. Which by the way, is making spellcheck go crazy on my computer, trying to get me to fix the spelling. That should tell you something. When I look at what it wants to change it too, it sure enough says adorable.

13 Baby Boi

When we name our children, we have to remember that we are not just naming a baby, we are naming the future man they will become. This is very important because they are going to be a man for most of their life. They are only a baby, child and teenager for so long and then they enter the adult world. The name Baby Boi may suit a little baby, and that is a stretch. I don’t think it would suit a grown man for very long.

Research is showing that there is little correlation between a person’s name and their ability to get a job, but we must think that can’t always be true. If I was a CEO and saw a resume come across my desk with the name Baby Boi on it, I think the only reason I would call him in for an interview would be to meet this person with the oddest, most unfortunate name at all time. The only creative thing in this name is the fact that they spelt boy, boi.

12 Beutyful

One of the worst things you can do when naming a child is trying to put a spin on a word. You just need to go that extra mile to seem unique. We see a perfect example of this with this name; Beutyful. I can only assume it is pronounced as beautiful, but that was not unique enough for these parents, they had to go one step further and spell it differently. At the end of the day, it is just a word spelt wrong.

This is a very unfortunate name for (what I am assuming) is a little girl. We live in a world where everyone should be seen as beautiful, but we are also living in a world where we need to define our little ladies as more than just what they look like. With all the body image issues that our girls are facing as they grow, it is unfair to define them by giving them a name that states they are beautiful.

11 Shady

As we mentioned earlier, a person’s name often goes on to define who they are. Maybe not entirely, but to some extent. So, this next name is doing no one any favours. The word Shady means to be of doubtful honesty. So, basically a liar. If this is what you want to define your child as we must wonder what you are thinking. Being called shady is an insult on a good day, to be called that many times a day for the rest of your life is just a nightmare.

I have a bad feeling no one is going to trust this person. How can you trust a person named Shady? We know that there is much more to a person than their name, but the knee-jerk reaction is often to judge someone based on what they are named. Can you imagine introducing yourself and saying, “Hi, I am Shady”. Dude, thanks for the warning.

10 Younique

This one takes the cake and it is a name that is becoming more and more popular and I have no idea why. You want your child’s name to be unique, so you just name them that, but wait – you must spell it differently. The name unique is not unique enough. You can put the blame on social media for all the names that are becoming odder and odder, everyone is searching and hunting for a way their child can be special and stand out.

Then it snowballs. As more and more people become more unique, the names just keep getting weirder and more unfortunate. Unfortunately, that means that it is probably only going to get worse, and I worry about what our children will be calling our future grandchildren in the years to come. It will probably be a word that hasn’t even been invented yet, or maybe we will have a reset and some of the traditional names will come back to start the cycle over.

9 Carrion

This name is going to fool you, because at face value you are probably thinking that this is the first semi-normal name you have seen on this list. Well, if that’s what you think you couldn’t be more wrong. All you must do is Google the meaning of this name, and it will make you cringe inside. The word Carrion means, “the decaying flesh of dead animals.” I can’t make this stuff up, so if you don’t believe me just Google it yourself.

Can you imagine growing up and carrying this name without even knowing what it means? Or one day just having the idea to Google your name and seeing what comes up? It is a possibility that the parents did not know what the word meant when they gave it to their child, but they have taught us a very important lesson. Before naming your child, it is important to look up its meaning and place of origin. Just to screen yourself for these kinds of situations.

8 Vader

With the Star Wars franchise picking back up again, it only makes sense that some of its characters are being used as names for our children. The problem is that people are not using the names such as Luke, Leia or even Han, they are using Vader. If you remember, Vader was the villain in Star Wars, he was not a good guy. He was mean, selfish and did horrible things with a light saber. Vader also means “father” in German, I don’t know why you would want to name your baby a name that means father, give the kid a chance.

Of all the names in Star Wars that you could have used as inspiration, Vader is probably the worst. I mean, even Yoda would have been a better name for a little kid. OK, maybe not but you get my point!

7 Three For One – Wyzdom, Fayth And Gs3

This is a bonus entry, you are getting three names in one spot. That is probably because there are few words to use to explain my confusion and irritation with these names. These names are all siblings, but that is about the extent of my information on this. Apparently, this family has something against the letter “i” as they have swapped it out with the letter “y”. Faith is a pretty popular name, and a pretty one but when you so blatantly misspell it, it loses its charm. I am not even going to touch the name Wyzdom.

The last name is what really bothers me, what is it? How in the world do you pronounce that? I wonder if you just say the two letters and the number as the way to pronounce that name. I also feel like that is the name of a car, as it seems more fitting to an automobile than a little boy (or girl?). There is no way of knowing what gender that name is for.

6 Nivlac

I guess a new trend when you don’t want to misspell a word to make it unique, is to just spell a name backward and make that the new name. How many of you noticed right away that this name is actually the name Calvin backwards? It took me a while. I thought the name was odd but couldn’t figure it out for the life of me.

At first it almost appears the name could be Nordic or eastern European in nature, but it’s not. If it was, it would probably be a pretty cool name. When you realize it is quite literally the name Calvin backwards, it loses all sense of unique and borders on just plain dumb and unfortunate. What is so wrong with the name Calvin? I think that is a very nice name. I really feel like this article is lacking, because it would really do well if we had the parent’s explanation for these “unique” names.

5 Houston Rocket (Middle Names Matter People!)

Houston on its own is a perfectly fine name. Naming babies after places is becoming very popular, and a lot of them turn out to be very pretty and strong. However, this is a family that clearly forgot that middle names matter. When we name our children, we must take into consideration the names that will be associated with them. Adding rocket onto the name Houston just makes the name comical and makes it very hard to take it seriously.

I imagine as this child grows up, he may just refer to himself as Houston R. Just an initial in the place of where a middle name would be to avoid any embarrassment or a bombardment of questions about what was wrong with his parents. The problem is, when people ask for some unique or uncommon names, your answer should really be the older names. Like James and Mary, those are names you just don’t hear anymore.

4 Aliviyah

A lot of things are forgivable when it comes to baby names, but a lot of people really wish parents would stop deciding to just change the spelling of what the name should be. This name is probably (I shouldn’t make any assumptions here) supposed to be pronounced as Olivia. However, if you notice the tolls of the most popular girl’s names, Olivia is right up there at the top. This just won’t do for a mom or dad who wants a name that is uncommon.

In order to avoid what is sure to be a disaster, this couple decided that in order for their daughter to not have one of the most common names in the world right now that they would just spell it differently. What they failed to think about is the fact that they have given their child a name that is so much more difficult to spell. Not just for her, but for any future teacher, boss or husband who wants to write little love notes.

3 Danger

Watch out, here comes danger! Not really what you want people to yell when they are talking about your child. However, if you literally name your child Danger, that is exactly what you are going to get. Our questions is, who is in danger? Is your child clumsy, so he is in danger anywhere he goes? Or is he a little menace, and everyone else is in danger? The problem is, when you named your baby, you didn’t know the answer to either of those questions.

We name our children before we really know anything about their personality. We don’t know what kind of person they will become. We can imagine and dream, but I don’t know many people who spend their whole day imagining that their child will be the type of person who needs the name danger. Who is this warning for?

2 Colon

I feel like this is a little self-explanatory and doesn’t need much of an introduction. However, there are people out there who name their child Colon. We all know what part of our body the colon is, so it is a mystery why someone would choose to name their child that. Unless, of course, they are trying to put a unique spell on the name Colin. If that is the case, then they really should have tried harder.

I don’t feel bad for anyone but the child when they are given an unfortunate name like this. This article may have been a lot of jokes, but bullying is no joke. The issue of bullying is a pretty serious issue and it is on the rise. Unfortunately, names like this do nothing to end that. Children have been bullied for a lot less than what their name is, so by giving them a name like Colon, or any other on this unfortunate list, you may be setting them up for a struggle.

1 Baby

Newborn baby boy in blue wrapped scarf.

While all the names on this list have been unfortunate, for the most part, they have all been pretty creative. You have to give them that. This last name is probably the least creative name on this list, and it makes it one of the most unfortunate baby names you could ever give your child. It is the same as getting a dog and naming it “dog” or getting a cat an naming it “cat”. This isn’t placing a name on something, it is literally describing the object.

The problem is if you look at the bigger picture of life, the shortest amount of time in their life is when they are an actual baby. I don’t think a 30-year old trying to get a job as a lawyer or doctor is going to be taken seriously when their name is baby. Seriously, unless you are a summer club and dancing with Patrick Swayze, your name should never, ever be baby. Never!

Sources: familyshare.com, thebump.com, thestir.cafemom.com

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