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7 Fears of Fatherhood

Many men feel that the relationship with their spouse may crumble due to the new arrival. It means that for many males, this notion of the mother and baby may lead to a split and that’s not just in the diaper. This overwhelming need for mom to tend to her child 24/7 may mean some of the actual attention may be off the man. This could, in essence, lead to a potential marital breakdown as some men can become jealous or not fit in as seamlessly to this habitual routine.

Call it what you will, upcoming dads tend to worry that their relationship with their significant other may change to a certain extent. After all, time will be dedicated to the new baby who will without question command the most attention. This may mean a struggle for attention and an impending marital explosion if you're not too careful. The adjustment is naturally difficult to comprehend and for some it could be a slippery slope.

In addition to this, the role model factor plays an integral part in men’s fears. A father is considered to be one of the greatest figureheads a child can have. This is especially important during the first few years of  the baby's development. It's these baby steps that put many men off and frighten them tremendously. This is largely in part thanks to dads not being able to teach their children properly what is right from wrong, whilst supporting them accordingly.

It means that many guys struggle with this concept and don't want to let down their newborns. Having the ability to engage and interact with a child early on is crucial, many men are unable to deal with what that might entail. Your child will literally look up to you in ways many can only begin to imagine. This pressure can be too intense, for some as they face up to the fact that they're deemed as a role model or father figure.

But what other trepidation might these men experience before and after fatherhood?

7 Delivery

For many dads, this is most likely going to be the most important package they will ever receive. This is by no means hand delivered by FedEx, but care and attention are needed in the delivery room. This alarm or panic sets in with many men as they feel they will become helpless when the baby eventually comes. 

This crippling fear can take over some who feel they won't be able to assist their loved one, especially at the crucial time in the delivery room. However, all such fears can be alleviated if you participate in the variety of anti-natal classes that are available. 

Bringing the baby into the world will be scary for him more than you realize

This will give you the chance to benefit from skilled advice and assistance about how to handle the birth. On top of this, it will also teach soon-to-be-fathers about how to deal with the gritting teeth, shrieks and pain that women will endure during the process.  

6 Baby Care

Another aspect to take into account is the fact that you will have to consider baby care options. This can be of specific anxiety to many fathers as it weighs heavily when it comes to selecting the right choice. This altogether foreign world of looking after your child is a strange notion to many men as it is usually the mothers who seem to have that all around caring instinct. 

At the end of the day, they are carrying the baby and have a close bond before it even emerges. In effect, it means that men are less experienced in the child caring stakes versus women. Their natural instincts for raising children come to the fore as expectant dads attempt to discover just what it takes. There is a wealth of choices out there that will assist in handling these grown-up expectations. 

He'll want to help you with the baby, so let him

From parenting books to picking up a friend's baby and twirling him or her round, you can learn a lot if you get your hands dirty. This will no doubt boost his sense of self-confidence as he strides confidently into fatherhood. At the end of the day, practice certainly does make perfect, but again child care need not be over complicated. Learning is part of the adventure and you will get used to new and exciting things which change regularly. 

5 Health

A fear of your child’s health, as well as your own, seems to plague some men to a certain degree. As your other half struggles through the nine grueling months of pregnancy, it results in several changes. Not only does this rear its ugly head through hormones but different types of health issues may crop up. 

Whether this is to do with the baby or not, it is an extreme worry to see your partner suffering in this way. As a result, it opens up all sorts of concerns in a father’s head and some begin to question their own medical condition. This precious miracle teaches many new dads that all is not as rosy on the other side. Hence, this topic is usually quite high up and can be a genuine anxiety for men.

Everyone's health is on his mind

He may not talk to you about his fears, but he's thinking about you and the little one every day. And you might even find that he's more sensitive about your changing body and aches and pains than you are. He won't out right say that he's worried about you and the baby, but he'll make sure that you're comfortable.

4 Sex

A relationship is much more than sex, but for some, the fear of not having sexual relations for a while looms long. Naturally, there will be a time when guys will revert back to bedroom shenanigans, but for the time being, the mother has to undergo a healing process. 

This is down to the painful process of the labour in which the body has undergone a tremendous strain. Give her time to heal and coupled with the wild hormones bouncing off the walls, she certainly won't be in the mood to put that Barry White CD on. This incredible trauma will take some time before resuming bedroom activity at a normal level. 

He's worried it won't be the same

Furthermore, your routine will all be out of sync because of the new baby, so it's imperative that you don't rush things. Try and be as supportive and as patient as possible before you decide to put your birthday suit on. 

3 Fatherly Standards

This life changing experience will turn your world upside down and most definitely inside out as you welcome a new addition. Coupled with the fact that you may not catch forty let alone thirty winks in the early stages, you should be fully prepared. Having a baby is, of course, one of the most natural wonders of the world, but with parenthood comes a number of different fears.

Many soon to be dads feel they might just not live up the fatherly mark. This could be down to a number of different reasons, such as setting the bar too high for themselves. On the other hand, numerous would-be-fathers are not ready for the physical, not to mention mental challenges which lie ahead. 

Are his standards too high for himself?

There is no manual or guidebook but over the course of time, men need to adjust to this new change. It can be incredibly difficult for some as they fear about not being a great dad. There are no instructions on how to undertake parenting and everyone learns in their own way. However, through extensive research and counsel from your own parents and others, you will be well on the way to achieving the ultimate dad of the year crown. 

2 Future

Contemplating becoming a father can be a daunting milestone for some individuals. At times, it can be an X Factor roller coaster of a ride without Simon Cowell pointing the paternal finger. With twist and turns aplenty as well as several unexpected developments, becoming a father has its fair share of drama.

Although there is a nine-month period in which to take it all in, this might not be enough for some guys. Yes, there are the countless mood swings, cereal craving requests at five in the morning and heightened emotional states to hurdle over. Nevertheless, this may be a little too much for some men as they come face to face with the hormone hulk.

Having a child makes many consider the long-term future and how things have to change. It is a selfless act that you are doing and for some this change in pattern is a growing fear. Gone are the days of painting the town red or even bright yellow with the guys over a Bud Light. Responsibility can sometimes weigh heavily on some chaps as they hark back to when they weren't shackled by the impending parental chastity belt.

He's afraid the future has more questions than it does answers

For the fun will, unfortunately, have to stop until at least the baby is able to be more independent. Those evenings spent nursing a cold frosty beer surrounded by your pals or toasting marshmallows on an open fire will have to wait. Losing this social gathering makes many men shudder. This particular camaraderie and testosterone shown when in a male crowd can be overwhelming at times.

In this way, this feeling of belonging to a group where things can become as wild as 'The Hangover' can deter men. They feel that their male bonding sessions will be at an end and that they have played their last hand of poker. As the cards lay face down which is how many guys do after a heavy night out, it's this freedom that they fear will be sadly taken away from them. 

1 Money

Meanwhile, this transition from selfish to selfless weighs on many male minds. Nine months may be a long period to become accustomed to the idea of fatherhood, but when the baby pops out everything literally changes. Instead of you, it's we or the little one which needs to be fed, bathed and watered on a daily basis. No amount of preparation makes a guy ready to have a kid. Yet this worry of having to take care of another human being scares many.

Having to make so many sacrifices for something that crawls around sloth like for a year or more can be pretty daunting for many new dads. Some find it difficult to comprehend that there will be someone else around that they have to care for and tend to their every need. Yet, this new shift brings with it a host of concerns for men as they come to terms with this new person. 

Another reason why many guys go weak at the knees as far as fatherhood is concerned is down to new relationships.

Arguably, the biggest trepidation for new dads is finances. A new baby usually spells out more fiscal worries than anything else, as many have not prepared for the economic burden that lies ahead. Spiraling debt and not being able to afford the basics such as clothes, milk and essentials can really troublesome fathers. 

Many don't want to be sent to the poor house just yet, but it means a real shift in responsibility. Having to budget probably for the first time is frightening enough, but laying out on a spreadsheet the upbringing costs can wrack many a calm dad with worry.

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