Children are more mysterious than any suspense books we've ever read. Since the time they're in your womb you have to keep guessing what's really happening. Why was that kick so strong right now? Why is he so active right now when I'm trying so hard to sleep? And once they're born the amount of questions doubles.
Sure children are the most beautiful beings on this planet and they always manage to win our hearts through their cute expressions. It can't be denied that their presence gives so much meaning to our lives even from the time we first learned about our pregnancy, we couldn’t stop thanking God for this blessing.
But then comes the nurturing part where you fulfill their needs, teach them right from wrong and along with that we have to act as their mentors while also being a friend. All this together can be quite confusing at times and sometimes we simply end up wishing that they were born with a manual in their hands.
A manual which would give us a complete idea of what they will be like, their choices and dislikes and what will be the most suitable parenting style for them. But that's simply not going to happen. Maybe just for fun, we can make a list of the reasons why we think kids should be born with a manual.
There comes a point in a day when they wouldn’t stop crying. This happens especially when they are less than a year old and it happens very often. Nothing cheers them up and sometimes they even cry louder if you try to talk them out of it. It ends up worrying you very badly and you may end up losing your cool.
Their non-stop crying makes you do silly stunts. I consider this moment the best work out time because parents get going moving every possible way that might help their baby cheer up and smile, or at least stop crying. Those old timey suggestions that say in order to stop a baby from crying we should record and make them listen to their own crying is the worst advice imaginable to new parents.
Whoever thought this would work was probably going deaf anyway
Because then it's like having 2 crying babies and worse yet, it causes your baby to start crying even louder. Days like these actually makes you love your boss more. At least he did consider your opinions at times, but your baby, he or she is in no mood to listen.
Sometimes babies pick the wrong times and situations to start crying. How many times have you had to leave a party early because your baby couldn't settle down? Or when you tried to have an girls night out and leaving your baby with a nanny, your mother or their father and you had to excuse yourself early because you were bothered with constant phone calls that how much your baby is crying.
It would be harsh to say that at these moments they really do seem like evil little beings all set to ruin your fun. Unfortunately, there's no escape and there's no stop button, but the good news is that sooner or later they'll be tired enough to stop crying and give you a moments peace.
This is the most common complaint from every parent or an elder who has ever baby sat a child. What makes them laugh today makes them cry tomorrow. The toys that they wanted so badly from their favorite toy store that they had cried and whined over, becomes uninteresting after a few days.
I remember my nephew requesting that his father get him strawberries, because according to him they were the most delicious fruit on this planet. Once the strawberries were bought, my cunning and smart nephew simply refused to eat them because he said that he liked cherries more.
Another time my niece who is fond of eating chocolates denied my offer of chocolates by stating that her doctor asked her not to eat chocolates. It got me wondering when my niece had a secret appointment with a doctor.
Sometimes their logic is too funny to even deal with in the moment
Kids can come up with the most crazy rationalizations of why they don’t like a particular thing anymore. They're quick and spontaneous with their answers which is usually hilarious for the adult who listens to their absurd logic.
If kids and babies came with a manual I'm sure we wouldn't be surprised by their answers they use and we might even use their faulty logic against them. But sadly that's so not happening, so maybe making a diary or a video collection of all their funny talks, reasons and excuses will help you make the moment more hilarious when you see them in the later years.
Also, by having a record you can always give proof to your child about what they had said earlier and make them think for a while. This would give you some time as well to plan a witty response. Though I'm sure they'll make a comeback with a more insane answer that leaves you speechless.
Aagh! The cranky mornings when they're so cranky that it makes you cranky. I would really like to have a manual that could tell me what do they really see in their dreams that could make them so cranky? Like, is it some really scary ghost from a horror movie? Oh wait, but that would make them cry right. Maybe it could've been a dream about something they wanted in their dream and now when they've woken up and they want it in real life.
Alright, so why can’t they just tell us what they want? Another reason could be that they're still sleepy despite the fact that they've already slept for a good 8 hours or more. You think maybe they can go back to sleep, but that's not gonna happen, instead they're going to sit there just being straight up cranky.
When the crankiness starts, it can go on all day or for half the day at least. Breakfast becomes difficult because every suggestion is met with a scream, shout and tantrums. If they have to go to school then it's worse because they don’t like our choice of clothes and can't make their own choices. They might even refuse to go to school that day.
Kids sense of fashion has yet to develop, so you know you can't let them choose their own clothes
It might be hard for you to take it if you're a disciplined parent who doesn’t like her child to miss school. Especially if it becomes a daily ritual. Sometimes they don’t even say 'no' until you reach school, and then they refuse to go to school. This drama makes you late for work, but there's no way to explain to children that their parents have school too, otherwise known as work.
Experts say that when children throw tantrums or act cranky, that we must not give them negative attention. When they see that what they're doing is failing to draw your attention, they will stop. But I would really like to have a manual so I could know how long to not give them attention, because apart from the times this advice works well, sometimes the kids keep shouting and screaming for hours despite getting no response.
It makes you wonder if you're parenting right.
‘I want it!’ ‘You said you will buy it for me.’ Yes, when they want it, they want it and there's no ideal way to get their mind off of it. You might cook them their favorite food, buy them their favorite flavor of ice cream or take them to their favorite amusement park, but there's no way they'll forget what they wanted in the first place. Even if they fall asleep, they'll still remember what they wanted when they wake up.
There are times when they forget and it's a blissful moment, but that only lasts for so long. The main reason is they have extremely good memories which help them remember even the smallest detail. Kids remember things even if it was said 6 months ago, as long as it was in their favor.
If there was a manual, it might consist of magic spells which could make them forget whatever they wanted and remember only what their parents told them. So the moment your child sees a huge teddy bear at the store and asks you to buy it, you can just snap your fingers and your child would forget all about it.
There's no spell that will make your child magically forget what they want or what you say
But sadly that's not happening, so what else can you do? It’s all about trial and error, because you know what worked yesterday may not work today. You should come up with new ways of handling your child whenever he or she wants something you can't get them at the moment.
If your child hasn't reached their tantrum mode yet, you still have a chance to make a deal with them for being patient. Your child might agree for now until he again remembers what he wanted in the first place.
Keep in mind that you should always be honest with your child. When your child agrees to a deal, fulfill it at any cost so that the next time you offer him or her another offer they will be delighted to accept it.
Kids are the best form of recorders that have ever been invented. They memorize everything they hear and repeat it back to you at the most unfortunate times, but unlike the recorder there's no start and stop button. They're going to repeat things you say and your mannerisms. You'll wish you had a remote control to turn this feature off.
As a parent or even a baby sitter or a teacher, you'll have to be careful about what you say in front of them. You never know what they might say in front of your friends or even strangers they see. Make sure to do your sweet talking away from your kids, otherwise they may blurt out what they've heard in front of friends or house guests. If your child is sleeping in your room, you have to make sure that they're fast asleep if you're planning to talk to your spouse.
Kids also make great visual recorders. They can remember what they've seen even a year later. How many times have you felt embarrassed or shy when your child mentioned seeing you romance your spouse in front of your colleagues? They sure know how to talk about inappropriate things at the right time to get attention.
If you want to know what you sound like, just listen to your kids talk
This should teach you one very important fact, that your child considers you their role model and what they see you doing today, they'll be doing themselves when they grow up. This is why you must check your own actions and behaviors. If you want your child to become a good person when they grow up, then you must also watch what you say and do.
If you ask your child to stop lying, then you shouldn't also be lying. If you want your child to be a hardworking person, then you must also show them what hard work is. Children enjoy doing what they see more than what they're told to do. There's saying about this, ‘I hear, I learn. When I hear and I see, I learn better.’
Kids might be talkative, but they never know how to speak their mind. They're honest and will tell you how they feel, but sometimes they're not able to find the words to express what's bothering them. In these moments you might feel helpless.
On a serious note, when kids face any traumatic situation they sometimes encounter with selective mutism and this is a very serious issue. Parents must not ignore if their child becomes unusually silent. It can be a signal that some serious issue is troubling them. Always be on top of what kind of friends they have at school, if they're being bullied by anyone.
With the increasing number of crimes you must try your best to pick and drop your child off wherever they have to go rather than sending them on their own. It might be difficult for you to do that with your busy schedule, but you must remember that prevention is always better than a cure. Making a child forget or overcome any kind of traumatic situation is not a piece of cake.
What might be small potatoes to you could be a big deal to your child
The best way to speak with your kids is to always be their friend. Rather than ordering them to do things, request them to do what you want. Ask them to do it like it’s a favor and appreciate them once they listen to you. Take time out during the day to have a friendly talk with your child so that they become more open to you about various situations in their daily routine.
When they come to talk to you, it doesn’t matter how less important it is to you, but because it's important to them you ought to listen to it. When parents avoid listening to their children, this usually is the first step to children looking for other people to listen to them. This might also cause them to talk to strangers with bad intentions.
The biggest reason why every parent or caregiver needs a manual is because no two children are the same. Even siblings turn out differently from one another leaving their parents to guess how to handle their younger child. If there had been a manual, there would have been no problem because each child would have come with their own set of instructions. All the parent had to do then was to accurately follow the instructions and voila!
Every parent would have a secret weapon that makes them look like the best parent. Even educators’ lives would be easy because they would be able to come up with teaching techniques that would cater to all the children present in a classroom.
Diversity makes society better
At the end of the day we must all accept and respect the fact that every child is unique in their own way. What fun would it be if every child had the same personality? Then we'd all just be a bunch of robots. Our lives would be dull and boring, children add the right amount of sugar and spice in our lives. They make our lives more adventurous, with every growing stage we get to learn so many new things about them and this life as well.
So no matter how much parents feel irritated and tired about nurturing their children, I am sure there is no parent in their right mind who’d say that they hated having children. Though there might be points in your life when your child must have frustrated you real bad but finally when you see them asleep at night, they look like the most cutest and innocent beings on this earth.