Modern medicine gives women access to information that wasn't available to our parents and grandparents when they suffered health events like miscarriages in the past. A staggering number of women miscarry and while it's one of the most difficult and challenging things to go through and recover from, there is still hope that your dream of being a parent can come true.
From fertility treatments to IVF, to adoption—there are many ways to become a parent, including repeated miscarriages that can eventually lead to a healthy baby.
Having a miscarriage can be excruciating with nearly 1/3 of women experiencing loss from the womb in their lifetime. I’ve now been pregnant 3 times, with two miscarriages and one viable pregnancy in between.
During my first pregnancy, I told everyone absolutely everyone that we were expecting. Never in a million years did I believe I would miscarry. At 6 weeks I lost the baby, only two days after hearing the heartbeat. I was terrified at the thought of telling everyone what had happened
I was overwhelmed by the texts and emails from women who had secretly suffered this type of loss as well. Hearing all about their strategies for pulling through such a dark time was inspiring and helped me immensely in my journey to motherhood.
Let’s explore some of the best ways to survive the emergency waiting room when suffering a possible miscarriage, with these 7 tips.
7 Look on the Bright Side
Many women experience spotting and pass blood clots, from implantation to throughout their pregnancy—for them it's the norm. For others, it's the sign of a miscarriage.
So the best thing to do when bleeding occurs is head directly to the hospital. Do try to remain as optimistic and calm as possible, until both you and your pregnancy are diagnosed.
Let your doctor explain what has happened
While you may be losing a life inside of you, you never know what other patients in the waiting room are going through. As difficult as it may be to swallow your emotions, the best case scenario is that you may still be pregnant—holding on to that glimmer of hope can be a good coping mechanism during such an uncertain time.
6 Bring a Buddy
Whether it's your partner, a parent, close relative or friend, having someone with you to pass the time can be uplifting.
From discussing what’s going on with your body and how you are feeling to reviewing your to-do list for the remainder of the week or discussing memories or experiences from the past—having someone there to talk to can help get you through the waiting period, that often seems like forever.
You should never have to go through this alone
Having a person to laugh and cry with can ease your mind and put you in a more relaxed state than if you were all alone. During my second miscarriage, I found it much easier to get through the day. My aunt was there to provide humour, assist with updating family and friends on my situation and provided overall peace to a very hectic and scary time in my life.
5 Make a Friend
If you find yourself alone, look to your neighbour to start a conversation, he or she may also be alone and could benefit from a light hearted chat just as much as you. Sitting next to other women can help as they might even be going through the same crisis as you.
During my first miscarriage, I found myself alone at the hospital and while I felt like this was something I wanted to do on my own, I did look to speak to somebody, anybody close by.
There's comfort in numbers
Whether you find someone who has gone through this before, or someone you know, talk it out if you need to. You're going through something traumatic, so express it, don't bottle it up.
4 Laughter Really Can Be the Best Medicine
During such a dark and uncertain time, a little light-hearted or dark humour can go a really long way. I remember checking-in with triage once and the nurse asked if I was bleeding. Looking over to my aunt, I stated “Oh no, I do not want to look in there right now.” We both burst out laughing, what else was I supposed to do?
I really didn’t want to check if my spotting and cramps had turned into a hemorage-like situation. So as tears glistened down my face, I headed to the bathroom to check.
If you can find some humour, let out a laugh
In the waiting room, laughter was the perfect dose to calm me down. Although at times it felt a bit manic and insane, it really made it easier.
3 Take a Walk
A short walk can really clear your head. Check-in with the nurses to see how far down you are on the list and head out of the room to get some exercise. Walking the halls can be a healthy change of scenery, especially if you are in for a long wait.
Many hospitals have gardens or pathways outside, so if you have time for it, the fresh air really will do your body and mind, some good.
Nothing clears a mind better than a walk outside
You don't even have to limit that walk to the hospital. If you return home and still find yourself not feeling quite right, talk a walk in a local park or down the street. With regulated breathing and steady steps, you'll find that you're thinking more clearly and will be able to breath easier.
2 Distractions! Read or Watch Something
If there’s ever a time that's appropriate to pull out the old smartphone to scroll Facebook, read the news or do some online shopping, this is definitely it! Just don't Web MD, that could take you right down the rabbit hole, and not in a good way.
Use this time to get updated on the news, what’s really going on the world might give you some much needed new perspectives on the world. Is a miscarriage really the worst thing you could be going through? Especially when reading about wars, natural disasters and famine.
TV is called the boob tube for a reason
You might even find comfort in watching something mind numbing or familiar, as long as it distracts your mind from focusing on your loss and helps you to relax, it will give you the much needed break you're searching for.
1 Remember You Are Not Alone
Nearly 1/3 of women suffer miscarriages, many more than once. I've been in the emergency room with two miscarriages, and although I was lucky enough to have a healthy baby boy in between, there is small comfort in knowing that there are millions of women around the world who have suffered the same loss.
Share your experiences and the number of other women who have gone through the exact same thing, just might surprise you. It's hard to know what to say or who to talk about because there is so much taboo around something that is surprisingly quite common.
You've got more in common with a complete stranger than you know
If you search online there are communities of women who talk about their experiences and what they went through. You might find comfort in knowing that there are many women out there who have gone through the same thing. Just remember that you're not alone.