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8 People Who Will Piss You Off During Your Pregnancy

Your pregnancy is supposed to be a time of unbridled joy and unrivaled beauty, right? Then why does it seem like everyone -- including yourself -- is ruining the celebration?

It’s not just your overactive hormones and it’s not your mood swings; people really do get weird around your growing belly. Some don’t pay enough attention to you and some can’t keep their eyes off of you. Or their hands.

You get mad at your man, you’re frustrated with your doctor, and you can’t tolerate the strangers you unfortunately come in contact with (a lot of contact). And you’re irritated with yourself for feeling irritated! Are you fostering a baby or are you just fostering anger?

These maddening people probably didn’t star in any of the brightly-colored dreams of your pregnancy. When you think about watching your baby on the sonogram or designing the perfect nursery, you know what doesn’t cross your mind? All of these people who are going to make you miserable. Oh, but they will.

Here is a delightful list of the people who will unintentionally piss in your pregnant cheerios (yes, there will be a long line of puns).

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8 Your Shoddy Doctor

Every pregnancy site and magazine guides you directly to the doctor’s office, and for what? So you can doze off in her waiting room and spend the afternoon shooting the bull with the office secretary? What pregnancy sites should really do is make a list of conversation topics for you to mow through with the impatient mom sitting next to you. This isn’t a doctor visit; this is social hour.

Once the Doctor Finally Does Make Time for You

Finally. The doctor steps out and calls your name. All of the other expecting mothers glare enviously at you as you make the long-anticipated walk back into the patient room. You lie down, thrilled to see your growing baby on the sonogram. You’re quickly invaded by the doctor’s cold hands and you enjoy a heart-breakingly brief look at your little peanut. And that’s it! 

Just like the amusement park: you wait in line for hours for the 30-second gratification of the roller coaster. Except this isn’t a thrill-ride and you aren’t an adrenaline junky. You’re an expecting mother who wants attention and care devoted to her baby. But you’re not going to find it here. 

7 Your Doctor’s Secretary

So, this is going to make that office small-talk awkward. Don’t tell her, but you relate the secretary’s voice with something much different than cheery chatter: appointment cancellations. You know it isn’t her fault that your (shoddy) doctor keeps rescheduling your appointments, but that doesn’t seem to make those violent thoughts dissipate. Eventually, you’ll dread seeing the office phone number come across your caller id and you’ll cringe at the sound of her apologetic voice.

Ditching Your Doctor

Because it isn’t really the secretary’s fault, you might want to consider breaking up with your doctor if she continually cancels and reschedules your appointments. You can, of course, do so through the office secretary – that will show her. Just like any relationship, though, you’ve got to know when the time is right for separation. Once it is, break it off and move onto the next best thing. 

6 Your Nagging Boss

Almost every time you tell your boss that you have scheduled a doctor appointment, you’re met with guilt trips and whining – as if you don’t get enough of that at home. At some point, you’ll exclaim, “Am I nurturing my baby or my boss? I can’t tell the difference.” And you’re not the only one feeling this way.

Pacifying Your Boss

The good news is that, in most states, it is illegal for your boss to fire or to penalize you for things like doctor appointments and maternity leave. In order to make your work environment as enjoyable as possible, though, you can take steps to smooth things over with your higher-up. 

Your first pregnancy conversation with your boss will most likely be one of the most difficult, so choosing carefully when to notify her can be extraordinarily important to your work relationship. There are alluring reasons for both, a sooner announcement and a later one. If you tell your boss early on, she will appreciate being in the know and might be more understanding as a result. 

If you say something later, you demonstrate that your work and productivity have not and will not suffer as a result of your pregnancy. Both yield pros and cons; choose whichever time is most comfortable for you. 

5 Your Daring Partner

When we say you have a daring partner, we mean it. He dares to be around you daily, to walk a certain way, to eat meals, and even to breathe near you. Really, you’re sick of all these stunts. Your pregnant man ticks you off in every conceivable way, from breathing loudly to getting home late. Your relationship has left romance and headed straight toward a pissing match (and, because your bladder is out of control, you’ll probably win).

It’s Not You, but It’s Not Him, Either

Your guy undoubtedly makes loads of mistakes, which contrast nicely to the loads that you make. You both fall short of being the best person you can be, as we all do. But common mistakes and misunderstandings aren’t the cause of your newfound angerlust. You’re angry because everything in your body makes you angry. 

And, because your man is the closest and – potentially – the most important thing to you right now, your rising level of emotion fixates upon him easily and powerfully. Try recognizing your emotional patterns and working on communication within your relationship. Nothing brings about a ceasefire like serious effort and open communication. If you find yourself still struggling, there are many other methods to kick that attitude. 

4 People Copping Unsolicited ‘Feels’

There is this strange phenomenon that occurs once you become visibly pregnant: everyone within arm’s reach thinks they are entitled to caress your expanding belly. At what point did your fragile and precious baby become a public tourist attraction? “No, you actually cannot put your strange, grimy hands on my body. It wasn’t okay before I became pregnant and it isn’t okay now!”

Ah, But What to Do?

Don’t you just want to swat those outstretched hands? You’re not the only one. Aside from just letting it happen or going totally rogue, there must be another way to deal with the awkward, uncomfortable experience that is having a stranger cup your stomach. The best and most enjoyable advice offered on the above link is to reach out and touch their stomach. 

The thought of you both standing there, hands outstretched and violating one another’s privacy, is much better than the thought you of just standing there, enraged that you’re dealing with this…again. 

3 The Advice-Givers

Advice from older family members or experienced co-workers is something you should always appreciate and utilize. That is not the advice we’re talking – complaining, really – about. We’re talking about the ‘instruction’ you get from those advice-givers you find on the street, run into at the store, and can’t seem to hide from during community events. “You’re not going to drink a second cup of coffee, are you? 

You do know that you shouldn’t have too much caffeine, right?!” Suddenly, every move you make is lament-worthy. You can’t exercise enough, rest enough, or eat healthy enough for these people. Whose baby is this anyway?

How to ‘Take’ Advice

How ironic would it be for us to give you advice about how to take advice? Fortunately, we’re not going to. We’re not going to tell you how to manage advice-givers because you shouldn’t have to manage them. Besides, they seem so well at managing things (like your pregnancy), let them manage themselves. 

At no other time in your life will strangers or distant friends provide insight into your life like the way they do throughout your pregnancy. And at no time, including now, is it okay for them to do so. So be as patient as you like, or tell them to piss off.

2 The Nay-Sayers

“How far along are you? Enjoy your second trimester while you can; the third trimester is miserable.”

“You think that’s bad?! Try vomiting for 2 hours straight.”

“You’ll be lucky if you make it out of labor alive.”

Did you think pregnancy was supposed to be a beautiful celebration of bringing life into the world? Think again. According to these doom-and-destruction moms, pregnancy is nothing but a festering whirlpool of pain and agony. Go ahead; write that on your nursery wall.

Find a Silver Lining, Even When They Can’t

No one experiences pregnancy the same way, and these storytelling moms shouldn’t act like we do. They might have been miserable for 9 months, but that hardly means that you will. The horror stories you hear are purely for the teller’s benefit – not yours. They just need a suitable audience to watch as they turn themselves into pregnant martyrs. 

No, you don’t have to 'ooo' and 'ahh' at their tales of battle with prenatal symptoms. Ignore them and try to cherish your pregnancy for what it is – one of the most beautiful and rewarding experience of your life. 

1 Yourself

These people all piss you off, and you’re pissed at yourself for being pissed off. Some of your anger is more than justified – I’m looking at you, belly-touchers. But, as you expect, the intensity of your frustration and intolerance stems from your raging hormones and physical discomfort.

You might be the most difficult person you have to deal with during your pregnancy.

Handling Yourself

No, not in that way. Don’t make this weird. Being able to handle your emotion begins with understanding it. Once you understand your emotional patterns and triggers, you can better deal with yourself and those around you. Most women struggle with mood swings and outbursts while they are pregnant, so don’t beat yourself up for your impatience. 

To keep healthy and loving relationships, though, it’s a good idea to work on maintaining a positive attitude toward those you care about. Like we said before, there are certain groups of people who piss you off that are hardly worth your restraint. You know the difference.

This article should be both enjoyable and relieving, as you realize that a lot of other pregnant women struggle to keep their fists to themselves. It could also be informational, you know, if you fit into one of the categories on the list (and for the love of something sweet and holy, we hope you don’t qualify for more than one!). Try not to piss off anymore ladies – there’s enough of it in this article for all of us. 

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